Before A Lesson in Humility- Young Obi-Wan Vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arwyn_Whitesun, Jun 27, 2005.

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  1. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    Title: A Lesson in Humility
    Author: Arwyn Whitesun
    Timeframe: Obi-Wan is thirteen years old
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
    Genre: Drama
    Keywords: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon

    ---------------------

    Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath and wiped his hand across his sweating brow. It was very tempting just to fall to his knees and let the exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm him do just that. Engulf and consume him until he became a part of the rich black earth that he?d been toiling in for the past seven hours.

    Instead, he leaned on the hoe he?d been using to turn over the soil and looked around him. The sun was still high in the sky and it beat down on him mercilessly. The days were long on this world and the nights far too short. Sweat trickled down his neck, his chest and his back. Sweat and dirt and grime and exhaustion.

    Obi-Wan let himself dream about cold water, both on his flesh and in his mouth. He let himself fantasize about cool, soft sheets and the utter blissful oblivion of sleep. He let himself revel in the promise of rest and the alleviation of thirst and the end of this lesson, this exercise in humility as Qui-Gon had called it.

    Obi-Wan looked around and saw the other farmers working in the field, their squat bodies closer to the ground than his, their square, gray faces betraying no hint of the exhaustion he could only imagine was etched on his face like sacrificial scars.

    Back-breaking work his master had called it but Qui-Gon had neglected to mention that the term was not just figurative, but literal. Obi-Wan's back felt as if every bone in it was twisted and warped beyond recognition. The muscles in his arms and legs and around his chest ached, and the blood seemed to move like mud through his veins even as his heart labored to push it through his body.

    The gravity was heavier on this planet and that was probably one reason Obi-Wan was so tired. Also, Qui-Gon had ordered him not to use the Force in anyway in order to make his task easier. He was to work like the others. That was part of the lesson.

    Rest time over, Obi-Wan told himself. He went back to work, pushing the hoe through the dirt. Soon, after what seemed like the longest day in his life, the sun began to fall towards the horizon. The light was still bright but he sensed that the onset of twilight and after that, night, sweet, blessed night, with the hallowed promise of darkness and rest, was not far off

    Perhaps it was the promise of sleep that made Obi-Wan work even harder, straining his muscles, pushing himself to get as much work done before the day was over. His gaze was fixed on the ground, all his attention focused on moving the hoe through the dirt. Soon he built up a rhythm that, although mechanical, also had a fluid grace to it. He even found himself humming along to his exertions, a song he had heard the farmers singing the other night around the communal fire.

    ?I had meant this to be a lesson, not a punishment.?

    He jumped and turned around. Qui-Gon stood a short distance away.

    ?Master.?

    Obi-Wan wiped away the sweat that was pooling in his eyes. He bowed to his master and it took all his Jedi training not to cry out as his back soundly protested the movement.

    Qui-Gon smiled and moved closer. Then he stopped and looked around. ?You have accomplished much, Padawan. The Elders will be pleased.?

    Obi-Wan nodded. Now that he had stopped working he was too tired to speak. Exhaustion swept over him like a tide and it was all he could do not to fall over in a shuddering lump of quivering flesh.

    ?It is time to come in," Qui-Gon said. "You are the only one still out in the fields.?

    Obi-Wan looked around. It was true. He was alone. As he walked alongside his master, Qui-Gon reached over and took the hoe from him. Obi-Wan was hesitant to give it up. It had become a part of him, an extension of his flesh and his will and his spirit but he knew his master was showing him a kindness. Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted. He handed over the hoe.

    The two walked in silence until they r
  2. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I got first reply?

    A sweet viggy that teaches a lesson and just a little touch of mush at the same time :)
  3. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Very sweet! [face_love]

    Wonderfully done! =D=
  4. meg_an2006 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Aww I liked this! It teaches us not to take our own lives for granted. Cute story!
  5. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    PadawanKitara I got first reply? Looks like. :)

    A sweet viggy that teaches a lesson and just a little touch of mush at the same time

    Thanks, PK! Nothing earth-shattering about. Just, as you said, a little lesson for a certain young Padawan. :)

    VaderLVR64 Very sweet! Wonderfully done!

    Thank you, VaderLVR64! Glady you liked it! It was fun to write!:)

    Meg_an2006 Aww I liked this! It teaches us not to take our own lives for granted. Cute story!

    Thank you, Meg_an2006! A lesson that I myself have to be reminded of now and then. :)
  6. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Wow, very nice vig. Very Jedi-like lesson. I liked the insights Obi-Wan drew from this lesson in the simple life, and simple pleasures derived from hard work. Great job!
  7. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Aww, I love the conversation.
  8. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    I liked this vignette.

    I kept trying to guess what type of natives they were. I thought Chinese. But silly me, because then there'd also be people in rice paddies as well as fields :p

    I liked how Obi-Wan had to tell himself to get back to work.

    I also liked this little snippet: Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted.

    Great job. I'll have to read more of what you write.

    ~Velo
  9. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    Maychorian Wow, very nice vig. Very Jedi-like lesson. I liked the insights Obi-Wan drew from this lesson in the simple life, and simple pleasures derived from hard work. Great job!

    Thanks, Maychorian! I wanted to write something that was just a little episode in the life of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and that I hoped would portray something of their relationship in the early stages of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. Glad you liked it. :)

    DarthIshtar Aww, I love the conversation.

    Thanks, DarthIshtar! :)

    JediVeloJinn I liked this vignette.

    Thank you, JediVeloJinn! :)

    I kept trying to guess what type of natives they were. I thought Chinese. But silly me, because then there'd also be people in rice paddies as well as fields

    That's true. Hmmm, they were just some aliens that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were vistiing for some reason, which to be honest, escapes me at the moment. :)

    I also liked this little snippet: Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted.

    Yes, since I was imaginging this was the very early stages of Qui-Gon an Obi-Wan's relationship as master and padawan, I figured Qui-Gon was being rather reticent with his emotions, seeing as he was still somewhat scarred from his experience with Xanatos.

    Great job. I'll have to read more of what you write.

    Thanks! I hope to write more such vignettes in the future.
  10. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    Nice work! I loved the lesson. Great descriptions and characterization. I like the native culture, too. Very Native American. Cool idea!
  11. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    Very nicely done! And those lessons Obi-Wan learned are good lessons for all of us :D
  12. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    Jennifer_Lyn Nice work! I loved the lesson. Great descriptions and characterization. I like the native culture, too. Very Native American. Cool idea!

    Thanks, Jennifer_Lyn. I just had this image, one day, of Obi-Wan working in a field and decided to see what I could make out of it. :)

    LadyPadme Very nicely done!

    Thanks, Lady Padme!

    And those lessons Obi-Wan learned are good lessons for all of us


    I agree! Especially in our age when so many of us don't do much manual labor anymore. Everything is so automatic and mechanized and, heck, if we're hungry, we just drive down to the grocery store and buy our food. :)
  13. Just_Jill Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 2002
    star 3
    I wish I could come up with that kind of an idea. Excellently done.

    Just Jill
  14. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    very good. So mushy!!! And it teaches a lesson we should all learn.....
  15. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    The muscles in his arms and legs and around his chest ached, and the blood seemed to move like mud through his veins even as his heart labored to push it through his body.

    Ohhh, that was a great line! Nothing like hard physical labor to teach you a lesson. :D

    Dawn Comes Early is a lucky gal. [face_mischief] :p
  16. TRADMIC FanForce CR and President S.W.A.P FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2005
    star 5
    Very sweet, loved the workers, humble and generous

    Ah, the very good lesson of a hard day's work...but why didn't Qui Gon refresh his memory

    passes Qui a hoe.... get to work
    (while the rest of us line behind Dawn Comes Early)





  17. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Awww, that was a delightful fic Arwyn. :) :)
  18. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    That was a great fic! :D

    The lesson and the workers were wonderful, and the characterizations and descriptions. You did a really good fic with the moral well mixed in [face_love]

    =D= =D=
  19. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Obi-Wan returned his attention back to his master. ?And...well...that no matter how humble the service, if one does it with a glad heart, it is worthy.?

    And he felt good. Very good, despite the throbbing pain in his body. For he had learned a valuable lesson today and knowledge, no matter how painful the attainment of it, was always a blessing.

    This is so true for all of us, and it is a lesson we should all learn! [:D]

    Wonderful little vignette! =D= =D= =D=

  20. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    That was very sweet! Loved Obi-Wan's reaction at the end, and how Obi and Qui interact. Obi learned the lesson well, and its one we should all learn too. Wonderful job! =D=
  21. Neo-Paladin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 4
    This is precisely the real world - salt of the Earth sort of lesson I have always imagined the Jedi of old teaching their students. The sort of lesson that gave the Jedi appreciation for the common things, and seeing how their work fit into the big picture. Wonderfully done.

    Thank you for sharing this.
  22. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    Humble apologies for being so late in thanking Just-Jill, Force-sensitiveLyn23, JadeSolo, TRADMIC, Healer Leona, Lost-Jedii, Star_Drifter, Jedi_Tigris, and Neo Paladin for your replies.

    I'm just now returning the boards after almost four months away. I wish I had time to thank you each individually but DRL is really nipping steadily at my free time. But I'm glad you enjoyed my ficlet and I apologize, again, for being so terribly late in thanking you for taking the time to read it and respond to it.

    Thank you!
  23. SakuraTsukikage Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    This was great--simple and not too complicated, a perfect Jedi lesson, and your descriptions of manual labor were . . . right on. I'm very impressed. =D=
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