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Before - Legends A Lesson in Humility- Young Obi-Wan Vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arwyn_Whitesun, Jun 27, 2005.

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  1. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Title: A Lesson in Humility
    Author: Arwyn Whitesun
    Timeframe: Obi-Wan is thirteen years old
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
    Genre: Drama
    Keywords: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon

    ---------------------

    Obi-Wan drew in a deep breath and wiped his hand across his sweating brow. It was very tempting just to fall to his knees and let the exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm him do just that. Engulf and consume him until he became a part of the rich black earth that he?d been toiling in for the past seven hours.

    Instead, he leaned on the hoe he?d been using to turn over the soil and looked around him. The sun was still high in the sky and it beat down on him mercilessly. The days were long on this world and the nights far too short. Sweat trickled down his neck, his chest and his back. Sweat and dirt and grime and exhaustion.

    Obi-Wan let himself dream about cold water, both on his flesh and in his mouth. He let himself fantasize about cool, soft sheets and the utter blissful oblivion of sleep. He let himself revel in the promise of rest and the alleviation of thirst and the end of this lesson, this exercise in humility as Qui-Gon had called it.

    Obi-Wan looked around and saw the other farmers working in the field, their squat bodies closer to the ground than his, their square, gray faces betraying no hint of the exhaustion he could only imagine was etched on his face like sacrificial scars.

    Back-breaking work his master had called it but Qui-Gon had neglected to mention that the term was not just figurative, but literal. Obi-Wan's back felt as if every bone in it was twisted and warped beyond recognition. The muscles in his arms and legs and around his chest ached, and the blood seemed to move like mud through his veins even as his heart labored to push it through his body.

    The gravity was heavier on this planet and that was probably one reason Obi-Wan was so tired. Also, Qui-Gon had ordered him not to use the Force in anyway in order to make his task easier. He was to work like the others. That was part of the lesson.

    Rest time over, Obi-Wan told himself. He went back to work, pushing the hoe through the dirt. Soon, after what seemed like the longest day in his life, the sun began to fall towards the horizon. The light was still bright but he sensed that the onset of twilight and after that, night, sweet, blessed night, with the hallowed promise of darkness and rest, was not far off

    Perhaps it was the promise of sleep that made Obi-Wan work even harder, straining his muscles, pushing himself to get as much work done before the day was over. His gaze was fixed on the ground, all his attention focused on moving the hoe through the dirt. Soon he built up a rhythm that, although mechanical, also had a fluid grace to it. He even found himself humming along to his exertions, a song he had heard the farmers singing the other night around the communal fire.

    ?I had meant this to be a lesson, not a punishment.?

    He jumped and turned around. Qui-Gon stood a short distance away.

    ?Master.?

    Obi-Wan wiped away the sweat that was pooling in his eyes. He bowed to his master and it took all his Jedi training not to cry out as his back soundly protested the movement.

    Qui-Gon smiled and moved closer. Then he stopped and looked around. ?You have accomplished much, Padawan. The Elders will be pleased.?

    Obi-Wan nodded. Now that he had stopped working he was too tired to speak. Exhaustion swept over him like a tide and it was all he could do not to fall over in a shuddering lump of quivering flesh.

    ?It is time to come in," Qui-Gon said. "You are the only one still out in the fields.?

    Obi-Wan looked around. It was true. He was alone. As he walked alongside his master, Qui-Gon reached over and took the hoe from him. Obi-Wan was hesitant to give it up. It had become a part of him, an extension of his flesh and his will and his spirit but he knew his master was showing him a kindness. Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted. He handed over the hoe.

    The two walked in silence until they r
     
  2. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I got first reply?

    A sweet viggy that teaches a lesson and just a little touch of mush at the same time :)
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Very sweet! [face_love]

    Wonderfully done! =D=
     
  4. meg_an2006

    meg_an2006 Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Aww I liked this! It teaches us not to take our own lives for granted. Cute story!
     
  5. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    PadawanKitara I got first reply? Looks like. :)

    A sweet viggy that teaches a lesson and just a little touch of mush at the same time

    Thanks, PK! Nothing earth-shattering about. Just, as you said, a little lesson for a certain young Padawan. :)

    VaderLVR64 Very sweet! Wonderfully done!

    Thank you, VaderLVR64! Glady you liked it! It was fun to write!:)

    Meg_an2006 Aww I liked this! It teaches us not to take our own lives for granted. Cute story!

    Thank you, Meg_an2006! A lesson that I myself have to be reminded of now and then. :)
     
  6. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Wow, very nice vig. Very Jedi-like lesson. I liked the insights Obi-Wan drew from this lesson in the simple life, and simple pleasures derived from hard work. Great job!
     
  7. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Aww, I love the conversation.
     
  8. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    I liked this vignette.

    I kept trying to guess what type of natives they were. I thought Chinese. But silly me, because then there'd also be people in rice paddies as well as fields :p

    I liked how Obi-Wan had to tell himself to get back to work.

    I also liked this little snippet: Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted.

    Great job. I'll have to read more of what you write.

    ~Velo
     
  9. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Maychorian Wow, very nice vig. Very Jedi-like lesson. I liked the insights Obi-Wan drew from this lesson in the simple life, and simple pleasures derived from hard work. Great job!

    Thanks, Maychorian! I wanted to write something that was just a little episode in the life of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and that I hoped would portray something of their relationship in the early stages of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. Glad you liked it. :)

    DarthIshtar Aww, I love the conversation.

    Thanks, DarthIshtar! :)

    JediVeloJinn I liked this vignette.

    Thank you, JediVeloJinn! :)

    I kept trying to guess what type of natives they were. I thought Chinese. But silly me, because then there'd also be people in rice paddies as well as fields

    That's true. Hmmm, they were just some aliens that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were vistiing for some reason, which to be honest, escapes me at the moment. :)

    I also liked this little snippet: Such displays were rare and, therefore, not to be wasted.

    Yes, since I was imaginging this was the very early stages of Qui-Gon an Obi-Wan's relationship as master and padawan, I figured Qui-Gon was being rather reticent with his emotions, seeing as he was still somewhat scarred from his experience with Xanatos.

    Great job. I'll have to read more of what you write.

    Thanks! I hope to write more such vignettes in the future.
     
  10. Jennifer_Lyn

    Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2005
    Nice work! I loved the lesson. Great descriptions and characterization. I like the native culture, too. Very Native American. Cool idea!
     
  11. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2002


    Very nicely done! And those lessons Obi-Wan learned are good lessons for all of us :D
     
  12. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Jennifer_Lyn Nice work! I loved the lesson. Great descriptions and characterization. I like the native culture, too. Very Native American. Cool idea!

    Thanks, Jennifer_Lyn. I just had this image, one day, of Obi-Wan working in a field and decided to see what I could make out of it. :)

    LadyPadme Very nicely done!

    Thanks, Lady Padme!

    And those lessons Obi-Wan learned are good lessons for all of us


    I agree! Especially in our age when so many of us don't do much manual labor anymore. Everything is so automatic and mechanized and, heck, if we're hungry, we just drive down to the grocery store and buy our food. :)
     
  13. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    I wish I could come up with that kind of an idea. Excellently done.

    Just Jill
     
  14. Force-sensitiveLyn23

    Force-sensitiveLyn23 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 27, 2005
    very good. So mushy!!! And it teaches a lesson we should all learn.....
     
  15. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    The muscles in his arms and legs and around his chest ached, and the blood seemed to move like mud through his veins even as his heart labored to push it through his body.

    Ohhh, that was a great line! Nothing like hard physical labor to teach you a lesson. :D

    Dawn Comes Early is a lucky gal. [face_mischief] :p
     
  16. TRADMIC

    TRADMIC Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2005
    Very sweet, loved the workers, humble and generous

    Ah, the very good lesson of a hard day's work...but why didn't Qui Gon refresh his memory

    passes Qui a hoe.... get to work
    (while the rest of us line behind Dawn Comes Early)





     
  17. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Awww, that was a delightful fic Arwyn. :) :)
     
  18. lost_jedii

    lost_jedii Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 30, 2005
    That was a great fic! :D

    The lesson and the workers were wonderful, and the characterizations and descriptions. You did a really good fic with the moral well mixed in [face_love]

    =D= =D=
     
  19. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2005
    Obi-Wan returned his attention back to his master. ?And...well...that no matter how humble the service, if one does it with a glad heart, it is worthy.?

    And he felt good. Very good, despite the throbbing pain in his body. For he had learned a valuable lesson today and knowledge, no matter how painful the attainment of it, was always a blessing.

    This is so true for all of us, and it is a lesson we should all learn! [:D]

    Wonderful little vignette! =D= =D= =D=

     
  20. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    That was very sweet! Loved Obi-Wan's reaction at the end, and how Obi and Qui interact. Obi learned the lesson well, and its one we should all learn too. Wonderful job! =D=
     
  21. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    This is precisely the real world - salt of the Earth sort of lesson I have always imagined the Jedi of old teaching their students. The sort of lesson that gave the Jedi appreciation for the common things, and seeing how their work fit into the big picture. Wonderfully done.

    Thank you for sharing this.
     
  22. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Humble apologies for being so late in thanking Just-Jill, Force-sensitiveLyn23, JadeSolo, TRADMIC, Healer Leona, Lost-Jedii, Star_Drifter, Jedi_Tigris, and Neo Paladin for your replies.

    I'm just now returning the boards after almost four months away. I wish I had time to thank you each individually but DRL is really nipping steadily at my free time. But I'm glad you enjoyed my ficlet and I apologize, again, for being so terribly late in thanking you for taking the time to read it and respond to it.

    Thank you!
     
  23. SakuraTsukikage

    SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 24, 2005
    This was great--simple and not too complicated, a perfect Jedi lesson, and your descriptions of manual labor were . . . right on. I'm very impressed. =D=
     
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