Before A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 7- Why is it Always Obi-Wan Who Get's Hurt?!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Bastet, Mar 23, 2008.

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  1. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    It seems like a wonderful adventure they are on except
    for the danger approaching.[face_worried]
    I liked their time in the tree together where Master and Padawan realise their Father and son love for each other.[face_love]

    Make sure the cave is high up so it does not get flooded.[face_idea]

    Wonderful chapter well done my friend.=D=
  2. Sabriel_Orion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2008
    star 1
    This chapter was well worth the wait. :D

    It was so sweet that Qui Gon was able to admit his feelings so easily. I loved the expression of their relationship in this. :D

    Now, moving on to the vision, eek. They're stuck on a planet that's about to be hit by a huge rock that causes enough damage to wipe out the dinosaurs. I don't think it'll be that easy to escape this... I hope they can get off Earth before it hits..
  3. Lileia Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Bastet

    The gentle rise and fall of his master?s chest, the steady, strong heartbeat in his ear, the gentle weight of the hand on his head, and the soft patter of rain outside all soon mixed together in his mind to one single sensation of peace, security, and utter contentment as he drifted off to a peaceful slumber.
    Oh, so sweet.:)
    Very tender feelings and beautiful chapter!

    But I've melted all of my brains trying to guess what that orange fruit was that tasted better when cooked. [face_laugh]
    What was it?

    The events are getting more and more tense and interesting!
    Can you, please, add me to your PM list?
  4. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Very nice mush and an awesome vision to boot! Now I wonder what they'll meet along their way to higher ground. I assume they're headed to higher ground. A cave isn't much good if the wall of water floods it.

    Please add me to you pm list.
  5. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    I loved the mush. Thanks so much for updating! Awesome update! :) Poor Obi, at least Qui is there to take care of him. Thanks again! :)
  6. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    [face_dancing] Yeah! An update and what a wonderful one it was. I loved the mush, but I sense danger...[face_thinking] You just need to update really soon!
  7. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Awesome udpate! Thank you so much! I love reading this story. It's brillant.
  8. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    Simply wonderful!

    Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but here I am. Better late than never :D

    First of all I loved the opening scenes in the tree. You described Obi-Wan's thoughts here brilliantly. I know just how he was feeling. The thought of just lying snug and warm in your bed (or on top of your Master), whilst listening to the rain outside and knowing you can just stay there and laze... One of the best feelings in the world (I'm not a morning person don't you know [face_mischief]) and you captured those feelings perfectly =D=

    Nice twist with Obi-Wan seeing the pending meteor! I love it. This story just keeps getting more and more interesting.

    So, they've arrived just at the end of the Cretaceous Period then? Does this mean we'll get to see T-Rex? It's in his era. Mind you, that would be a bit mean to the boys. We aren't that cruel, are we? ;)

    Please, please update soon. But on the other hand I do hope you have a good holiday and everything goes smoothly with your move [:D]

    Once again a wonderful update =D=

  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I really liked the way the two of them were connecting. I thought it was very sweet.

    ?Oh, Master, I?m sorry I caused you so much trouble,? Obi-Wan said, hanging his head, truly feeling ashamed of himself. His master could easily have gotten killed because of him! He felt Qui-Gon put a strong arm around him, bringing him closer, and Obi-Wan leaned in to rest his head on the man?s shoulder. He almost smiled in gratitude as he felt a wave of comfort sent his way over the bond.

    ?Listen to me, my Padawan,? Qui-Gon said gently, resting his chin lightly on top of Obi-Wan?s head. ?You were very sick, and as your master it?s my duty to look after you, to make sure you?re safe. But I consider it to be much more than a duty, my Padawan, it?s a privilege, and a pleasure. You?re the best thing that?s ever happened to me, you know that, don?t you?? He said it so earnestly that Obi-Wan pulled back to look at his face, and saw his master smiling gently down at him. After a moment, the young Jedi smiled back, seeing Qui-Gon?s sincerity in his expression.

    ?Thank you, Master,? Obi-Wan whispered, putting his head back down. ?You?re the best thing that?s ever happened to me, too. And?I love you.? He felt his master rub his back for a moment.
    ?I love you too, my Padawan,? Qui-Gon said softly.


    But that vision was very well done. I could really picture it easily. It's a good thing that Obi-Wan is so attuned to the Unifying Force and was able to warn Qui-Gon about the disaster to come. Sounds like that asteroid that helped to wipe out the dinosaurs.

    Great job. Please PM me with updates.
  10. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hello again everyone! :D Yes, I finally have a post, sorry this is taking so long, but I promise I won?t give up on this! (Barring any unforeseen catastrophic circumstance, anyway.) I?m all moved, but my new apartment is still a big mess. [face_frustrated] But writing fan-fiction is more fun than unpacking. :p

    And now I have to say a big Thank You to whoever nominated my story for best drama! [:D] I almost fell out of my chair when I read the PM that I had qualified. :eek: I?ve never had anything nominated before, I really feel honored. Thank you, thank you! [:D] You guys really are the best readers ever, and thank you for being so patient with me for writing so slowly. That's also why I didn't say thank you earlier, I didn?t want to up this thread without an update and get everyone's hopes up for nothing. But anyway, whatever happens with the voting and all that, this nomination was already more than I would have ever expected, so once again, thank you very much! [face_dancing]


    And now it?s on to replies:

    Valairy Scot-- That sounds so soothing I'm almost tempted to head to bed. I'll give you an "aw, sweet" x2 on that. [face_love] Thanks! I guess you could re-read that part whenever you have trouble sleeping. :p


    Gkilkenny--It seems like a wonderful adventure they are on except for the danger approaching. [face_devil] We never makes things easy on the boys, do we?

    Make sure the cave is high up so it does not get flooded. [face_thinking] Hmm, maybe I will. :p

    Wonderful chapter well done my friend. [face_blush] Aww, thank you my friend!


    Sabriel Orion--This chapter was well worth the wait. [face_dancing] Woohoo, thank you!

    It was so sweet that Qui Gon was able to admit his feelings so easily. I loved the expression of their relationship in this. [face_love] Aww, thanks again! I?m so glad so many of you like the way I?m doing Qui-Gon, it?s the way I wish he would have been in the JA books. Alas!

    I don't think it'll be that easy to escape this... I hope they can get off Earth before it hits.. [face_whistling] [face_devil] [face_skull]


    Lileia--Oh, so sweet. Very tender feelings and beautiful chapter! [face_love] Aww, thanks!

    But I've melted all of my brains trying to guess what that orange fruit was that tasted better when cooked. [face_whistling] I hope your brains didn?t melt too badly, because I have to confess I?m making up all the plants, I don?t have nearly as much information on them as I do on the dinosaurs.[face_blush]
    *Puts on nerd-hat* :-B I do know, however, that flowering plants supposedly just began to evolve during the Cretaceous, and I figure that some of them wouldn?t have quite gotten it right making themselves edible yet. So I?d say that orange fruit was a very ancient ancestor of the pineapple. :D

    The events are getting more and more tense and interesting! [face_devil] Just wait!

    Can you, please, add me to your PM list? :D With pleasure!


    p_stotts--Very nice mush and an awesome vision to boot! :D Thanks!

    Now I wonder what they'll meet along their way to higher ground. [face_thinking] Hopefully you?ll find out soon!

    Please add me to you pm list. :) Why, certainly!


    dimyavie--I loved the mush. [face_love] Me too!

    Poor Obi, at least Qui is there to take care of him. [face_worried] He?s definitely going to need him! Thanks for reading! :)


    jedidas3--Yeah! An update and what a wonderful one it was. I loved the mush, but I sense danger... [face_devil] Me too! Thanks so much for reading!


    Cole Kenobi-- I love reading this story. It's brillant. [face_blush] Thank you! And thanks so much for reading! [:D]


    Glenstorm--Sorry it's taken me so long to respond, but here I am. Bet
  11. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Chapter Five--The Start of a Long Walk

    Qui-Gon had decided it would be prudent to catch and cook an extra fish for dinner, so they would be able to save time tomorrow morning by eating leftovers for breakfast. Obi-Wan was unnaturally quiet for the rest of the day, and the master noticed how his gaze would often stray out to the ocean, as if to keep making sure the quake-wave from his vision wasn?t there. And when he wasn?t looking at the ocean in trepidation, he was looking sorrowfully at the forest, no doubt with an image of the inferno that place would one day soon become in his mind. Qui-Gon felt sorrow too, but he knew it would not help them to dwell on things they could not change.

    ?While it is prudent in this instance to keep the future in mind, my Padawan,? he finally gently admonished his apprentice as they finished up their dinner, ?we shouldn?t let worry over it consume us. It will come when it does, but until then, the sunset behind you is very beautiful.? Obi-Wan, who had once again been staring out at the ocean, blushed slightly as he lowered his gaze. Smiling sadly, Qui-Gon reached out and gently lifted his padawan?s chin, at the same time turning his head to look out over the forest to the west. He watched Obi-Wan?s gaze still, and then his eyes widened slightly in wonder as he realized what he was looking at.

    The sun had just begun to set behind the trees as they began to march up a broad hill a few kilometers away. The sun was a deep red color, and it looked twice as large as normal as it slowly sank, the scattered clouds around it all lit up every shade of yellow, pink, red, orange, and purple imaginable. The colors deepened to even richer shades as the sun slowly sank out of sight, lighting the tops of the trees in a soft orange-red light.

    The two Jedi watched the sunset in comfortable silence for several minutes, and Qui-Gon was happy to feel his young student?s focus slowly returning to the present as he took in the spectacular display. ?Wow, Master,? Obi-Wan finally said in a hushed voice as the sun at last disappeared completely. ?I?ve never seen such a beautiful sunset. All those colors!?

    Qui-Gon nodded as he took a deep breath of the salty sea air. ?It is very beautiful, indeed, my Padawan,? he said softly. He decided not to tell the boy the probable reason why the sunset was so spectacular, that it was likely due to volcanic activity somewhere on the planet. He knew that would only serve to concern his padawan even more, his poor boy was already worrying about enough right now.

    As the colors slowly began to fade and darkness grew, Qui-Gon decided it was time to head to bed. After making sure their fire was extinguished, he picked up the cooking pot with the leftover fish. They took one last lingering look around, then the two Jedi left the beach for the last time.

    Qui-Gon noticed that Obi-Wan?s pace was somewhat quicker than it had been when they came down earlier, despite his obvious tiredness, such was his haste to get away from the scene of that awful vision. He sympathized, but he also didn?t want the boy to wear himself out. And so when Obi-Wan stumbled over a root a few moments later, Qui-Gon went hastily to his side, helping him back up. ?Easy there, my Padawan,? he said concernedly. ?Didn?t the Force show you that leaving tomorrow would be enough?? he gently reminded the boy.

    Sighing softly, Obi-Wan nodded. ?Yes, Master, I?m sorry.?

    Qui-Gon put his arms around the young man?s shoulders. ?Then please try to keep that in mind, Obi-Wan,? he instructed quietly. ?It won?t do to have you exhaust yourself before we?ve even started on this journey.? As he talked, Qui-Gon poured another wave of peace and comfort down the bond and into his young padawan. He really was proud of how well the boy was handling himself, and he made sure the young Jedi felt that as well. The vision the Force had showed him had truly been horrifying, and he had clearly sensed the struggle the boy had been going through ever since not to be overwhelmed by all he
  12. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I feel like I was hiking with them -and I already hiked today! (Though in the sun, at 7100' at Mt. Rainier.)

    Lovely update as usual - congrats on your noms and best of [face_good_luck] - you're in some mighty excellent company.
  13. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Splendid update. Always amazing imaginery. Loved the Qui/Obi bonding.

    Thanks for the pm!
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Amazing story telling.[:D]
    I felt like I was walking along with them, and instead of Obi-Wan being injured it seemed like a nice adventure, or a camping trip.:cool:

    Well done.=D=
  15. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Beautiful descriptions. I felt like I was walking with them through the forest. I also liked that Obi-Wan was having fun running from footprint to footprint. :)

    Great job with the bonding between the two. Well done.
  16. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Beautifully done! Such incredilbe descriptions of the forest, etc., but the relationship between Obi and Qui was extremely well done! Bravo!=D=
  17. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    Great update!

    The journey's really underway now :D

    Ah! Now I see the link to the footprints from the beginning. Little did Obi-Wan know that his play would end up confusing scientists over sixty-five million years later [face_laugh]

    =D=
  18. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Sorry for the delay in replying. I thought I had, but was mistaken. Great update! I especially love the how Qui-Gon cares about Obi-Wan's well-being. Great emotions there. So when do they encounter Rapters or T-Rex? That should be interesting. :D
  19. Sabriel_Orion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 29, 2008
    star 1
    Yay! I've been looking forward to reading the next update. I would've read it sooner, but I was staying with a friend since her husband's in jail. :(

    Anyway,I love the descriptions. :D The whole story rocks.

    (I was thinking Obi-Wan would lose his boots for some reason. Don't know why. heh)
  20. Lileia Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Oh my, Qui-Gon is so touching carrying his apprentice all the day! He's the perfect father :D
    What a lovely chapter!
    Thank you for explaining about the fruit :)
  21. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    No, I don't yet have an update. :( I am working on it, though, and I hope to have the next chapter up within the next week or so. I realized I had better do author replies now, however, since my story is perilously close to being locked. :_| I can't believe it's taking me this long to finish this, I am so SORRY!! I knew I'd be in trouble if I didn't finish this before I started back to school, alas! :( Of course, a lot of my problem has been good old-fashioned writer's block. Well, if anyone is still interested in reading this after such a long delay, like I said I should have the next chapter up in another week or two, and thankfully I already have a lot written of the chapter after that one too (since it involves more Obi-torture, which is always fun to write [face_mischief]).


    Valairy Scot--Lovely update as usual :D Thank you!

    Cole Kenobi--Splendid update. Always amazing imaginery. Loved the Qui/Obi bonding. [face_love] Thanks! And Qui/Obi bonding is my favorite thing to write!

    Gkilkenny--Amazing story telling. Thank you my friend! [:D] And thanks so much for reading!

    dianethx--Beautiful descriptions. I felt like I was walking with them through the forest. :D Thanks so much! Great job with the bonding between the two. Well done. [face_blush] Aww, thanks!

    jedidas3--Beautifully done! Such incredilbe descriptions of the forest, etc., but the relationship between Obi and Qui was extremely well done! Bravo! [face_blush] Wow, thanks! I'm glad you guys like the way I'm portraying Qui and Obi's relationship in this story, it's one of my favorite things about Star Wars. [face_love]

    Glenstorm--Great update! :) Thanks! Little did Obi-Wan know that his play would end up confusing scientists over sixty-five million years later [face_laugh]

    p_stotts--I especially love the how Qui-Gon cares about Obi-Wan's well-being. Great emotions there. [face_blush] Awww, thank you! What can I say, I'm a sucker for big-softie Qui-Gon! [face_love] So when do they encounter Rapters or T-Rex? Well...I'll tell you they do encounter a pack of hungry somethings in this next chapter I had better hurry up and finish writing. And in the next chapter after that the hungry somethings get much bigger. [face_devil]

    Sabriel Orion--Anyway,I love the descriptions. The whole story rocks. :D Thanks so much!

    Lileia--Oh my, Qui-Gon is so touching carrying his apprentice all the day! He's the perfect father [face_love] I totally agree, like I said earlier, I just love big-softie Qui!


    Once again I very much apologize for such a long delay. I feel so bad! :_| I am determined to finish this story, though, even if no one is interested anymore, and I certainly can't blame you guys if you're not! :_|
  22. Lileia Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2008
    No, no, you, silly little one [face_laugh]
    There are 3 people, at least, who are patiently waiting for you to continue. Please, do update sooner! @};-
  23. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Don't worry about not posting for so long. I'm still with you and can't wait for the next post.

  24. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Erm... So I shouldn't have made that promise of an update soon when school was just starting to get busy again, obviously. :( Ugh, I feel horrible that this is taking me so long, I really am very very sorry, you guys. :( However, I promised that I would finish this story no matter what, and so here I am with another update, two hours or so before this thread gets locked for not being posted on in six months. (Now that's motivation...) Eh heh... [face_blush]

    So if anyone is still interested, here is the next chapter! (Don't fall out of your chair, this is really an update! Seventeen pages long in Word.)

    Since it's been so long, here's a quick refresher: Our two favorite Jedi are marooned on Earth at the end of the Cretaceous Period. Obi-Wan had a vision from the Force warning him of a coming asteroid impact, so the Jedi left the shore by the ocean and are slowly making their way inland. Good thing they have the Force's guidance, because they have no idea where they're going...

    -------------------

    Chapter Six--What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

    The rest of the third day of their journey passed without incident. The footprints of the creatures they had seen left the stream just around the bend from where they had encountered them, and they did not see or hear them again. The two Jedi followed the stream for the rest of the day, and slept on its banks that night.

    The next day they followed the stream all morning, until not long after lunch they noticed that it was beginning to loop around to the northeast, the opposite direction from the one they were heading. They filled their water bottle one last time, and then they plunged into the forest once more. Obi-Wan sighed unhappily as the green gloom closed about them, the air had seemed so much cleaner and fresher by the stream than it did in the stuffy forest. And the going had been much easier too, he thought, as he climbed over a fallen log. The forest was littered with dead wood and moss-covered boulders, not to mention the perpetual carpet of dead leaves.

    After a while, Obi-Wan began to notice just how silent it was. There was hardly a sound to be heard except the occasional rustle of a bush here, or the low buzz of an insect there. The forest seemed rather?deserted. The boy wasn?t sure he liked the quiet, their footfalls seemed to thud unnaturally loud in his ears as they trudged along in the heavy, still air. He was sure the crack of every twig he stepped on could be heard for kilometers. He finally ventured to comment on it as they both slowed down to climb over a heap of tumbled boulders. ?It?s so quiet, Master,? he whispered, the silence making him reluctant to talk any louder.

    ?I noticed that, too, Padawan,? Qui-Gon said just as softly. ?The wildlife is much sparser here than it was down near the ocean.? He paused then as he looked around. ?I?m not sure what it signifies, environmental hardship perhaps. It certainly does feel as if a change is in the air. Whether it is for good or ill remains to be seen, however.?

    Obi-Wan was suddenly reminded of his vision, and he too looked around at the nearly-empty forest. ?Even if the change is for good now, it won?t be for long,? he said softly. He felt his master put a large, comforting hand on his shoulder.

    ?Perhaps,? Qui-Gon replied quietly. ?Though even that remains to be seen. In the meantime,? he said more loudly as he stood up from the boulder they had both been sitting on, ?we need to make sure we have gathered all the food we can now while we still have a chance. Enough to ensure growing boys don?t starve to death, at any rate.? He smiled and winked at Obi-Wan, who grinned back, feeling his mood lightening at his master?s gentle teasing.

    ?We have our work cut out for us then, Master, I think there?s a black hole down in there somewhere,? Obi-Wan said, patting his stomach.

    ?Ah, that explains a lot.? They both laughed.

    The two Jedi spent the rest of the day searching for food as they slowly plodded through the quiet
  25. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    [face_dancing] Another postie!

    That T-storm reminds me of the hike reports I've been raading from the Wash Cascade mtns from last weekend. One trip report said it was POURING IN the trees (it never pours in the trees) - thunder and lightning and hair standing on end. It rained so hard the water washed down a winter avalanche that blocked the Cascade River Road and stranded a number of hikers.


    ?And so I think it?s time we put my culinary skills to their true test,? Qui-Gon concluded, already looking eagerly about at the short scrubby plants growing nearby.

    Oh no? ?You don?t mean?? Obi-Wan trailed off, trying to suppress a shudder of revulsion as he realized what his master had in mind. ?Not stewed grass??

    Qui-Gon turned back to him, a twinkle in his eye. ?That?s exactly what I mean.? Obi-Wan groaned. ?Come now, Padawan,? the big Jedi said reprovingly, ?you can?t know you won?t like it until you try it. And I must insist that you try it.?



    Qui is channeling my mother. "C'mon, you can't say you don't like it if you don't try it."

    "No - don't wanna."

    "Just one little bite."

    "No. Smells bad."


    ;) Lucky for me dad was also a fussy eater - bad (good!) role model.


    So...you'll tie yourself to a computer for OUR benefit! :cool:
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