A Marvel a Day Could Well Cause Sanity Issues

I agree that the problem is how they don't actually make an effort to make them into friends. Like with Han and Lando, we immediately know that Lando is a close friend, we get Han talking about how he and Lando go way back, mention of a Noodle Incident, and so on. They even joke about the Noodle Incident. ("Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler. You got a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled.") We also get how Lando isn't really betraying Han; he thinks Vader will just let Han and his friends go for some kid named Skywalker. (This, of course, is Han's Berserk Button.)

By contrast, Han and Bey's friendship is just not discussed. A few episodes would've been nice. Worse yet, Bey's like Chewbacca without all the emotional bond between Han and Chewie. *facepalm*

 

While it doesn't do much to help matters after the fact, you'll find that issue #101 is actually set before #99, and actually serves as Bey's first appearance, chronologically. Fenn also arrives on Endor in that issue, too. Some odd scheduling issue happened at Marvel, I guess. Though, there's not much more with Bey even in #101.

Oh, and #100 really is one of my favorite Marvel stories and is one of the best of the Nagai story. Something making you wish the series hadn't been rushed into a premature ending.

 

Thankfully, our heroes manage to wipe out most of the Nagai Death Comamndos before they can kill many. Still, the Rebellion is implied to take heavy casualties all round.

 

Star Wars 101#

[image=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/6/61/Mswc101cover.jpg]

Title: Far Far Away

Summary: Han Solo talks to Princess Leia about how he's left the Rebellion (which he did a long time ago--see what others have said about bad chronology). Princess Leia says that he is being a jerk for not doing a job for the Alliance. Han gives the proper argument that the Rebellion has treated him like crazzap since it became the Alliance and he's not going to take it anymore. Good for him. THEN HE COMMITS THE UNFORGIVABLE SIN OF CALLING THE HOOJIBS VERMIN! DIE SOLO! DIE! DIE! Fenn Shysa thinks he's going to make a good impression by Judo-throwing Han when he holds Leia forcefully.

Fenn has romantic interests in Princess Leia that will be utterly and completely ignored by Leia. Han is irritated by Fenn bullying him but Fenn Shysa is tougher than Boba Fett, so there's no point in Han fighting him. So he just leaves in a huff. He meets Bey and they exchange pleasantries and vague non-commital comments about their childhood together. There's no noodle incidents or mentions of what Han Solo DID on the streets with a 7ft tall Half-Space Elf but it is assured to be stuff that makes them CLOSE FRIENDS.

Han leaves the Rebellion in a huff and then through circumstances that are difficult to explain, gets sucked into a wormhole that deposits him on a Medieval Planet. The Medieval planet has everyone dress like Shakespeare characters but there's people with blasters. So it's presumably in the Star Wars Galaxy. Oh and they speak Basic. Actually, the blasters are homemade so maybe everyone in the universe just speaks basic. AND HAN HAS THE HOOJIBS WITH HIM! YAY HOOJIBS!

But yes, blah blah blah, a young pair of romantic lovers are having a strong problem getting the girl's father to approve of their union. They're being chased by bandits and Han kills pretty much all of them by himself with his awesome gunslinging. She's also immediately infatuated with Han Solo. Han only has to mention he's a general and suddenly, he's a viable suitor. That and the fact he has an ultra-advanced spaceship. The entire story depends on the idea Han is interested in courting another Princess than leia.

Of course, Han really isn't. Han does his part to help his romantic rival by portraying himself as an evil conniving monster before discovering where the bandits are getting their blasters. SURPRISE, it is the King's evil advisor. With the help of the Hoojibs draining their blasters, Han defeats them and then proceeds to leave the planet back through the wormhole he came through. He embraces Leia and realizes he must continue the fight for justice. Not because he likes the Alliance but because he loves Leia.

Thoughts: This is the last of the oddball Star Wars Marvel issues. Stories where Han Solo or Luke or whoever end up on a planet then resolve the local problems that are somehow being caused by Evil Relics, Bizarre Aliens, or Utterly Strange StuffTM. In retrospect, the Star Wars Marvel comics were probably based less on Star Wars but Star Trek: The Original Series. Kirk would go to a strange planet and then have to deal with whatever weirdness was going on that day. I'm surprised Luke never had to convince an evil computer that it was illogical then destroy it through a simple insoluble question.

But yes, Han Solo's characterization is pretty bizarre in this whole thing. The early parts with Fenn Shysa and Bey weren't bad, but I'm fairly sure Han Solo WOULD do something stupid like get into a fight with the most dangerous man alive (including Boba Fett). Because Han Solo IS stupid like that. At the very least, Bey could have come to Han's rescue (you know OR CHEWIE) and we could have seen some reason why Han likes this guy so much. Honestly, their talks are kinda creepy. Han treats Bey more like his ex-boyfriend than he does his old childhood friend with their knowing smiles and bashful talk.

Maybe the deleted scenes from Dogma about Han and Lando's re

 

Didn't they do that already?

But yeah, this just sounds utterly generic, and I feel you are pretty close to the truth with the Star Trek comparison. This is probably why the newspaper comics feel a hundred times better as Star Wars comics than this stuff.

 

Decided to join after finding this thread. wish I had found it sooner as we are almost to the end.

Loved marvel their treatment of Vader was good and yes I'm a Jaxxon fan Both him and Crimson Jack have appeared in RPG games I've run

 

Han gives the proper argument that the Rebellion has treated him like crazzap since it became the Alliance and he's not going to take it anymore. Good for him.

It is true. I mean, there's Luke, Leia, and?everybody else just thinks they're too good for him. Well, Alliance High Command does anyway.

Fenn has romantic interests in Princess Leia that will be utterly and completely ignored by Leia.

Good for her. I don't need to go through another long-lost brother.

Han is irritated by Fenn bullying him but Fenn Shysa is tougher than Boba Fett, so there's no point in Han fighting him. So he just leaves in a huff. He meets Bey and they exchange pleasantries and vague non-commital comments about their childhood together. There's no noodle incidents or mentions of what Han Solo DID on the streets with a 7ft tall Half-Space Elf but it is assured to be stuff that makes them CLOSE FRIENDS.

What would it be? "Remember that time when everyone took vacations to Corellia? How many Outer Rim hicks we hustled three-card monte with? Um, no offense, Luke."

Of course, Han really isn't. Han does his part to help his romantic rival by portraying himself as an evil conniving monster before discovering where the bandits are getting their blasters. SURPRISE, it is the King's evil advisor.

What? Not his butler?

In retrospect, the Star Wars Marvel comics were probably based less on Star Wars but Star Trek: The Original Series. Kirk would go to a strange planet and then have to deal with whatever weirdness was going on that day. I'm surprised Luke never had to convince an evil computer that it was illogical then destroy it through a simple insoluble question.

That's more a Vergere thing: Everything I say is a lie. Except that. Or maybe that's a paradox. But what is a paradox? It's not the dark side, because that doesn't exist.

Maybe the deleted scenes from Dogma about Han and Lando's relationship were true. JK.

Details, please. I've only seen the movie, not the DVD version. On second thought, knowing Kevin Smith, I can guess.

In any case, the actual plotline is flat and only has cuddly Hoojibs going for it. The advisor is the bad guy? How original. Seriously, I wish one Marvel comic had the advisor the GOOD guy and the King as the bad guy.

That's what the prequels are for.

 

Charlemagne skrev:

He meets Bey and they exchange pleasantries and vague non-commital comments about their childhood together. There's no noodle incidents or mentions of what Han Solo DID on the streets with a 7ft tall Half-Space Elf but it is assured to be stuff that makes them CLOSE FRIENDS.

He probably kept dear cousin Thrackan from stealing his lunch money.

Once poor li'l orphan Han got away from the pirates and back to the planet of his birth that is. Did you ever see Salaam Bombay? I think it was like that.

 

Star Wars 102#

[image=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/dd/Mswc102cover.jpg]

Title: Kiro's Back!/School Spirit

Summary: Luke Skywalker and Lando Calrissian journey to the planet Iskalon because the Nagai/Alliance war has the potential to spill over onto their planet. A short conversation is held by both men as to how much it sucks the Iskalon have come to fear air-breathers when they were previously one of the nicest races in the galaxy.

The scene switches to a bunch of Nagai who are pretty much randomly killing Iskalon because they're bored. The Nagai now look like 80s punks with white face paint. Then, a figure appears in the mist and we switch to the Iskalon going up to the surface. It's the old gang of air-breather haters again. Except, when they arrive, they are positively ADORING to Luke and Lando.

Why?

Well, apparently, the Iskalon only hate outsiders when it is convenient to them as the Nagai have arrived on the planet and they're hoping that Luke Skywalker has come to kick them off the planet. Luke is trying to hide how appalled he is at how quickly the Iskalon change their tune. Really, this is the most realistic development in politics that I've seen in this entire series. But Luke didn't kill the Nagai that they've found dead!

There's no need to hide who did, since it's on the cover. A bunch more Nagai attack as Luke is almost overwhelmed by their sheer numbers when, Yes, KIRO IS BACK! Together they triumph! Kiro survived his terrible ordeal and has return to the planet in order to go kill the Nagai and liberate them. Luke and he share some old times as Kiro is focused on stopping the Nagai at all costs. Would Luke please help him blow up the Nagai base? Luke says sure.

We discover that the Nagai are here to enslave the Iskalon and conducting medical experiments on them because every single villain in Star Wars has to be a flavor of Nazi of one kind or another (sorry Trip, that's just the way it works-C19). In any case, Luke and Kiro fight back to back then rescue all their captives before BLOWING the Nagai headquarters on Iskalon to pieces.

The massacre of so many of his people and the evil of the Nagai, especially for the rape-torture of Dani, has hardened Kiro's heart. While he'd happily be Luke's apprentice, he's got other things to do in the meantime and doesn't expect to survive this war since the rest of his race is positively worthless in a fight. Kiro tells Luke to not tell Dani that he's alive and before the Jedi Knight can inform her that's stupid, he's off.

Luke agrees to keep his secret then returns to the stars.

Thoughts: The impending cancellation of Star Wars: The Series hangs over this issue like everything else. It was obvious Kiro wasn't dead from the very beginning since his opponent survived and they fell into water. Yes, Luke and Dani thought Kiro THE FISH MAN died falling INTO WATER. It was a pretty stupid thing for them to leave the planet without making a decent look for him anyway, but forgivable given that the planet was under the control of the Nagai. But the fact is that Kiro hasn't been dead very long and Jean Grey at least has the decency to wait at least a year before she comes back. Still, they have to accelerate his return because there's not much time to wrap up the Nagai war.

Really, Kiro is the best character to come out of Marvel Star Wars (after Pliff and Jaxxon and all the other wonderful SPACE BUNNIES!). He's pretty much a much more bull-headed version of Luke Skywalker. Really, he's an ideal candidate for a Jedi Knight and I like to think that Luke finished his training to become a Jedi Master sometime between The Last Command and Dark Empire. It's also possible that Luke trained Ken Palpatine but I prefer to believe he went on to become Kenth Hamner.

Really, this is the best issue of the entire Nagai war in my mind. It's the only place where we get to see the Nagai being unambiguously bad, our heroes go and beat their butts, and then everyone is home for supper. It's

 

*G* Yes. Heroes can get so inconvenient in peacetime, but when the shavit hits the fan, guess who people clamor for?

Just 4 issues to wrap this all up? I can't believe they'll manage that.

 

They won't.

They have 5 ISSUES!

And I miscounted!

And they DO wrap it all nicely.....just replace nicely with hastily and badly.

 

Also in those 5 Issues they cram in another race of aliens.

 

Star Wars 103#

[image=http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/e/e3/Mswc103cover.jpg]

Title: Tai

Summary: Den Siva proves to be the most vile villain in Star Wars history by the fact that he is lounging in his room with a hologram of Dani in his room. He's still obsessed with his torture victim and capturing her once again for his pleasures. He then goes to a imprisoned Rebel soldier who he intends to torture to death, for fun. We hear about the Nagai encountering a squadron of their old enemy for the first time. This old enemy, disturbingly, will become relevant in the LAST TWO ISSUES.

The issue then switches to Princess Leia Organa Solo investigating a planet that has been ravaged by war. She then comes across the fact that the Nagai have been fighting a race of hyper-fat green bearded PIRATES.

....

You know, I would save that for the Thoughts section but, really, I need to comment on this. Who exactly thought this was a good idea? The Nagai's ultimate enemy is a bunch of fat, green, pirates who look like they're all descendants of Captain Blackbeard with an Orion Slave Girl? How do we know they're pirates? They dress like they're from the 17th century.

Oddly, the rest of the issue is stunningly good. Princess Leia and her boy band get into a fight with the Nagai and manage to take one prisoner. Princess Leia attempt to be nice to the Nagai and we get some hints that the Nagai are actually oppressed by the green fat race that resembles Michael Myer's character from Austin Powers 2 that I can't mention the name of without a use violation.

Leia struggles to make a connection with the Nagai to understand why they're such cold and evil bastarves. Unfortunately, this one doesn't speak Basic and the whole thing boils down to an attempt to communicate with words while the Nagai doesn't want to give up. We also see the Toffs, the Fat Green Guys, torturing some Nagai and we're told they're worse than the Nagai.

Later, Leia lets her prisoner go and he's taken back to Den. Den hears he was taken captive and treated well, he then murders the Nagai prisoner for letting himself be treated in such a fashion.

Thoughts: Aside from the introduction of the Toffs, who are the lamest plot device in Star Wars fiction until the introduction of Zonama Seskot, this is actually a wonderful episode to getting into the Nagai mindset that rejects all forms of comfort and beauty but ruthless functionality. In some respects, the Nagai are analogous to the Imperial Japanese and I wish they'd played up those parallels. The attempt to put forth honor and create a warrior code pretty much out of whole cloth (with only loose connections to samurai) as a way to force their populous into becoming almost completely war focused. Also something that considers surrender and retreat the highest disgraces imaginable.

Here, the Nagai are sympathized a bit by showing that they've run out of resources for fighting the Toff and require more resources to fight against them. For that, since they've mined all their resources out, they require the resources of a fresh galaxy to fight. Okay, forget about what I said about the Nagai being kinda like the Imperial Japanese. They're EXACTLY like them, except elves.

Unfortunately, contrary to the idea that this excuses the Nagai's crimes, it just makes them more effective villains. They've still attacked an innocent galaxy in an unprovoked manner for no other reason than they're a bunch of soulless jerkasses. They have a motive now but it is still an evil motive. Really, a part of this comes from the fact that the story is compressed. We're not getting what could have been a much longer Nagai story arc.

But one thing this issue does is establish, once and for all, that Den Siva is a irredeemable monster and we're all going to be glad when he's dead. Right? They wouldn't try and redeem this guy, right?

The less said about the Nagai's ultimate enemy being Fat Sc

 

*LOL* Well, it could have been fat green Scottish pirate BUNNIES. ^^

Well, this all seems to suffer from the little time and space they have left for telling this story, but it still looks like a rather interesting arc... But, going by this description of the Nagai, their racial abilities in the Legacy Campaign Guide make no sense at all^^.

 

You mean the Nagai having Soothing voices and being intensely charismatic?

Yeah...no sign of that.

 

And getting to reroll Persuasion... This doesn't fit at all. And, not even the resident Nagai on Legacy looks like he can do that.

 

Populace. And yeah, the Toff are stupid.

 

Star Wars 104#

[image=http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/4/4b/Mswc104cover.jpg]

Title: Nagais and Dolls

Summary: TEN Zeltron women attempt to rush Luke Skywalker at once. That's really all you need to know about this issue. Yes, the diplomatic mission to Zeltron. Our Heroes of Yavin are pretty much Elvis as they all come to the planet to get them involved in the Galactic Alliance as well as the war against the Nagai. Even Lando Calrissian looks a bit lonely compared to Luke as he only has two Zeltron women who ask if he wants to be their friend. Leia, herself, still has her boyband hanging around her.

Really, everyone is going to have a good time on Zeltros because it's their literal national pasttime. Well, Han and Chewie aren't. They are above Zeltros and transporting Dani who is depressed, which is something that is almost literally a crime on the planet. She no longer feels anything and Zeltrons are not normally monogamous but she would have done it for Kiro. The irony is that Kiro, of course, is alive as we've learned last issue. Chewie and Han hope that returning Dani to Zeltron will help her.

Meanwhile, the Nagai intend to invade Zeltros. They are preparing a full scale attack to take over the planet. Simultaneously, the Hiromi are planning their own full scale invasion of Zeltros, with like 3 ships. MEANWHILE STILL, the Toffs are also planning their own invasion of Zeltros. Really, everyone in these ships must be REALLY frustrated to invade this planet all at once.

Leia's boyband then decides to scoot as they discover that the Zeltron Governor is attending this shin-dig and he has five daughters that our five Zeltron brothers, well apparently did what Zeltrons do. For some reason, he's apparently cross about it and they decide to make like a tree and get out of here (thank you Biff Tannen).

Meanwhile, Luke bails on the party that is likely to turn Bachinealian very soon (if you know what that means). That's when he discovers the DREADED HIROMI are attacking. The Whacky Space Nazis end up taking over the Zeltron's kitchen and gorging themselves. The threat never really gets further beyond that. The Nagai, on the other hand, blast Leia unconscious while Den intends to take Dani as his pleasure slave.

The Nagai then take over the rest of the building while the Toffs proceed to make their own entrance.

Thoughts: There's only three issues left and I have never wanted any character to die more in Star Wars than Den Siva. That includes Admiral Daala, who has survived to become the Richard Nixon of the galaxy. His obsession with Dani is one of the most loathsome things we've seen in Star Wars and there's a serious need to have him shot to death by the heroes of this story. Really, Dani's transformation is heartbreaking. It's difficult to see the previously vivacious young woman so broken by her experiences.

I don't see any particular reason why the Hiromi were brought back even for this joke part of the book, but I admit they are funny. The whole idea of them just makes a mockery of the Empire and I wish we knew what the Imps thought of the guys who plundered all of their ways but none of their menace.

In any case, it's nice to actually see the planet Zeltron. We've met plenty of Zeltrons at this point but we haven't actually been to Zeltros itself until now. As expected, the place is pretty much a non-stop party from morning til night then morning again. The people of Zeltron certainly know how to work and they do but that's in-between doing what they do best. They must have the most effective birth control in the entire galaxy is all I'm saying.

The pun on "Guys and Dolls" is just bad, however.

 

I'm humiliated to say I made that typo in a professionally published book.

Repeatedly.

I got ribbed for it at the Convention.

I just lied and said it was a "Find/Search/Replace error."

 

Hey, everyone makes wacky mistakes. Doesn't help much that there is a game called Populous.

TEN Zeltron women attempt to rush Luke Skywalker at once. That's really all you need to know about this issue.

In the words of Akanah Norand Goss Pell (just before joining the long list), "If a Jedi sleeps alone, it must surely be by choice."

Akanah must've been thinking of Zeltros. Or some of the people on this forum.

She no longer feels anything and Zeltrons are not normally monogamous but she would have done it for Kiro. The irony is that Kiro, of course, is alive as we've learned last issue.

Luke and Dani are idiots. Fish man. Falling in water. Um, yeah.

Meanwhile, the Nagai intend to invade Zeltros. They are preparing a full scale attack to take over the planet. Simultaneously, the Hiromi are planning their own full scale invasion of Zeltros, with like 3 ships. MEANWHILE STILL, the Toffs are also planning their own invasion of Zeltros. Really, everyone in these ships must be REALLY frustrated to invade this planet all at once.

What is up with everyone invading Zeltros? You can just go on vacation there.

Leia's boyband then decides to scoot as they discover that the Zeltron Governor is attending this shin-dig and he has five daughters that our five Zeltron brothers, well apparently did what Zeltrons do. For some reason, he's apparently cross about it and they decide to make like a tree and get out of here (thank you Biff Tannen).

This is even crazier when you consider that Zeltrons aren't monogamous. Apparently the governor's daughters are an exception.

Meanwhile, Luke bails on the party that is likely to turn Bachinealian very soon (if you know what that means).

I know what bacchanalian means. Not so sure about Bachinealian.

That's when he discovers the DREADED HIROMI are attacking. The Whacky Space Nazis end up taking over the Zeltron's kitchen and gorging themselves. The threat never really gets further beyond that. The Nagai, on the other hand, blast Leia unconscious while Den intends to take Dani as his pleasure slave.

Always with the pleasure slaves it is. Enough, EU! We get it! (Granted, in the Marvel era, it was something relatively new. But by now it's overdone.)

There's only three issues left and I have never wanted any character to die more in Star Wars than Den Siva. That includes Admiral Daala, who has survived to become the Richard Nixon of the galaxy.

LOL I have my list. Daala's on it. Luckily, I know Ahsoka dies.

His obsession with Dani is one of the most loathsome things we've seen in Star Wars and there's a serious need to have him shot to death by the heroes of this story. Really, Dani's transformation is heartbreaking. It's difficult to see the previously vivacious young woman so broken by her experiences.

The EU character that was the most heart-wrenching for me was Tahiri. After Anakin died, she would do anything to get him back. Even joining the Sith and torturing a little kid who, we are reminded, reminds her of his cousin. Tahiri's obsession with Anakin is also loathsome and squicky.

More proof that the EU's running out of ideas.

I don't see any particular reason why the Hiromi were brought back even for this joke part of the book, but I admit they are funny. The whole idea of them just makes a mockery of the Empire and I wish we knew what the Imps thought of the guys who plundered all of their ways but none of their menace.

The Hiromi are funny. I suppose the Hiromi and the Nagai go together. But who's Italy?

In any case, it's nice to actually see the planet Zeltron. We've met plenty of Zeltrons at this point but we haven't actually been to Zeltros itself until now. As expected, the place is pretty much a non-stop party from morning til night then morning again. The people of Zeltron certainly know how to work and they do but that's in-between doing what they do best. They must have the most effective birth control in the entire galaxy is all I'm say

 

It means it was four am and I didn't bother spell checking.

I'll take that bet.

DAZZLER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIChyvsd8Wo

 

It means it was four am and I didn't bother spell checking.

Did you ever make that mistake in a book?

I'll take that bet.

Or Ahsoka lives, Anakin never goes darkside, and George likes it so much, he declares it supercedes his movies as canon. Gah, I still can't believe they made a TV series "more canon" than everything but the movie. And one a lot of people can't stand.

DAZZLER!

I remember Dazzler. I also remember the somewhat punkish vesion of Dazzler from the 80s and 90s. What would the current Dazzler be? Poptart or goth girl who's really a poptart but appeals to "indie kids"?

But by getting shavit past the radar, I mean the implied rape, pleasure slaves, not to mention Leia calling Dani a prostitute the first time the two met. And a weird "even the guys want him" moment during one of their Zeltron excursions. In fact, just the Zeltrons in general.

 

Zeltros? What does it look like? Discostyle? Pseudo-Hellenic? And poor Dani.

Zeltros sounds like the kind of place where you send an army, and then never hear from them, because they are partying so hard they forget why they were there...

 

We don't see much of it, but Ancient Rome with a Disco Ball.

So....odd.