Before A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - July 15th --- "Completed " -----

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Gkilkenny, Jun 17, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Ok here goes another story, I was happy with my first story, and I think this one is ok.
    I still like reading better than writing, but I wrote this so I may as well share it[face_blush]
    Title: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan story
    Time Frame : JA
    Category: A bit AU
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and several others
    Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me except a couple of OCs
    Summary: A Memory lost: another take on the partnership of Qui-Gon and Obi-wan.

    Waiting?. listening.. beat.. beat?beat, the sound of ones heart, telling the owner that he is alive.

    But what is alive, One should be full of energy and vigour and have an interest in life.

    Not lacking the will or the interest to make an effort or to even listen to his Master.

    The feeling of failure coursed through his veins.

    His body was here in this training arena, his mind was elsewhere.

    He had practiced this Kata over and over more times than even his Master knew about.

    He could do it with his eyes closed.
    He knew because he had practiced with his eyes closed.

    Three years, Obi-wan had been Qui-Gons apprentice for three years.... Three hollow years.


    He remembered back to the first day of his apprenticeship.

    (I was quivering with excitement.
    I couldn?t believe that finally, I was Qui-Gon?s Padawan.


    Previously Qui-Gon had refused to accept me as his apprentice, so I was stunned when he changed his mind.

    I had noticed him speaking with Master Yoda, and after a lengthy discussion, Master Jinn approached me while I was cooling down after a strenuous workout.

    I was surprised and unbelievably happy when he asked me to be his apprentice.

    I should have realised then that he was just doing his duty as a member of the Jedi Order.

    He was a Master without a Padawan, and Masters were in short supply, He had no intentions of burdening himself with another failure.

    But Master Yoda was not a being you could say no too.

    So after their discussion Qui-Gon Jinn asked me to be his apprentice.

    I wish I had known then what I know now.
    I would have been prepared for the contempt and disapproval
    I would see in his eyes every time he looked at me.)
    ???
  2. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Oh, poor Obi-Wan! Why's Qui so mean?! Contempt and dissaproval?! I hope dear Obi is only being over-sensitive, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Can't wait for more! :)
  3. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    Awww...poor Obi! I hope that Qui-Gon will stop being contemptuous...that's not nice! I guess there's only one way to find out... *hint hint* ;)
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Bastet Hi. Yes Qui is mean, but then there wouldn't be any Obi angst if he was nice.

    PadawanEstel thanks We should find out eventually

  5. padmay_skywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2005
    star 3
    Qui is no nice. please, please, please let obi over exaggerate
  6. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    padmay_skywalker Maybe Obi sees his own insecurities in other peoples eyes,
    but Qui-Gon certainly doesn't give anything away, so
    Obi-wan will have to wait to discover if he likes him or not.

    a post later today, thanks for reading.
  7. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Interesting so far. Good twist on the first JA book. Sounds like it's going worse than it would have if Yoda had meddled so much. I look forward to more!
  8. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Maychlorian thanks Yoda was a meddlesome little green

    ummm what is he?



    here's more


    ~~~~

    But maybe it was my own feelings of unworthiness that gave me the impression that my Master disapproved
    of me and his stare was not contempt but regret.

    Master Yoda thought differently.
    I had asked him why Qui-Gon had changed his mind and accepted me as his Padawan.

    He had answered ?Knows he does of great ability you have, nothing but praise has he for you. Given him something that was lost you have.?

    I asked him what that was and he just said
    ?A reason for being?.

    (If this was so, why did he push me so hard?) I thought.

    I knew when he accepted me as an apprentice it would be difficult living up to his high standards.

    He was legendary as a negotiator and warrior.

    I heard the stories about him, how each Jedi would aspire to be as dedicated to the Jedi Order as Qui-Gon himself was.

    I wondered if maybe the legend was bigger than the Master, and the Master could not step down from the pedestal that
    his peers had placed him on.

    So maybe he sees, that I can never achieve what he expected of me, and regrets his decision to accept me.

    ~~~~

    My Master was instructing me on the 20th Kata it was a combined set of movements taking in the first three forms
    the Shii-Cho, Makashi, and Soresu.

    Combining technics from each form, the horizontal swipe, fluid movements sensing and anticipating where the weapon would target, and rapid movement keeping your opponent off balance.

    The form required total concentration.

    Culminating in a jump forward with a thrust of the sabre, as your opponent blocks the strike, twist in mid air, keeping contact with the others sabre, but landing behind, as the opponent turns, feign to the left then striking to the right.

    Movements that kept an opponent continually off-guard.

    If the form was executed correctly, balance was lost and a well placed foot connecting to the others body would bring them down.

    The movements were fast and if you weren?t focused and didn?t keep the opponent in sight at all times, he would unbalance you and the tables would be turned in your opponents favour.

    It was a very advanced Kata not many sixteen year olds had mastered it and I was still fifteen.

    I had attempted it many times in the sparring arena with just my Master instructing me.

    But today my master had decided that I would do it in front of an audience.

    Several apprentices were attempting the form.

    Out of the five padawan?s before me four had successfully completed it.

    They were all seventeen and were on the verge of attaining senior Padawan status.


    My Master?s expression was set in stone, he was devoid of emotion and it sent shivers up my spine.

    I could never tell if he was happy with my progress or disappointed.

    He was giving me final instructions before I attempted the kata.

    ?Obi-Wan I shouldn?t need to tell you that I believe you are ready and that you have the ability to complete this form.? He said.

    ?Now remember concentrate on the here and now. Focus and do what you must?. He added with a pat on my shoulder.

    I hated it when he said that because over the last three years I had grown to know what it really meant.

    ?Do it or I will be disappointed in you again? he never said it, but I felt he was thinking it.

    In my spare time I had practiced, sometimes I couldn?t sleep so I would go to ?My Place? and practice.

    My Place was an old underground hall I found in my initiate days, it was in a section of the old Temple.

    Master Tomar, unbeknown to him had actually found it for me.

    He was a great Jedi in his day and had retired from missions and lived down on the lower level of the temple,
    where he maintained the heating and cooling equipment and did repairs and maintenance to the temple.

    I loved going to visit him, he was always telling me stories of his younger days when he was an active Jedi.

    I could sit and listen to him for hours.

    I was quite the explorer in my early y
  9. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Ouch. ::winces:: Obi-Wan's thoughts about Qui-Gon are very, very painful here. I hope that it's all in his mind, that Qui-Gon does care about him deep down and just doesn't know how to show it, or is afraid to show it because of Xanatos. It's good that Obi-Wan has a place of his own where he feels safe, though.

    Keep going! You're doing very well at writing Obi's perspective.
  10. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Dear, dear. Poor Obi-Wan. He needs a hug. Can't wait for more story!
  11. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    Cool, I want to hear more about this place of his. Kind of like a sanctuary to escape from what he sees as Qui-Gon's lack of trust in him, I guess? Poor kid, he needs :* and [:D]! I volunteer! [face_batting]
    And this kata in front of an audience? :eek: Talk about no pressure...
    More soon? Please?
  12. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    I can't wait to see what happens because of Obi's special place. There has to be something mysterious going on down there.
  13. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    MaychorianThanks :D I wasn't sure if it sounded right.

    Bastet Obi sure needs lots of hugs [:D]

    Padawan Estel So true! there is a big line to give Obi loving hugs.[face_love]

    jodiwent mysterious place Mmmmm [face_not_talking]

    Thanks for your replies I appreciate it

    another post coming!
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    My Master squeezed my shoulder lightly which brought me back to the present. ?The match will begin now? He announced.

    ?Yes Master I am ready?

    I bowed to him then turned and bowed to my opponent, a seventeen year old Dressilian Padawan named Tis?bar.

    I knew Tis?bar from the healers ward, we were there at the same time.

    He had broken his leg in a training session.

    I had broken mine on a mission that went wrong. We had spent a week together .

    He asked me once why my Master hadn?t been to visit me, I explained that he had gone back to complete the mission.

    I tried to cover up my disappointment that my Master had decided to go back, instead of asking the Council to send someone else to complete the mission.

    I remember at the time I defended my Master actions.

    I told Tis?bar that my Master couldn?t do anything for me, and I knew he hated sitting around the healers ward.

    So I said I didn?t expect him to give up the mission because of my injury.

    Tis?bar said he felt sorry for me, and that Master Jinn always made him feel uncomfortable.

    I just smiled and said he is a great Master.

    But I am sure Tis?bar could sense my disappointment.


    ~~~~

    Anyway the match began slow and steady at first while each of us was gaining a perspective of the other.

    After many minutes had passed, the exercise was gaining momentum and both of us were sweating as the
    Kata grew faster and faster.

    Through the entire form each opponent would try to out manoeuvre the other culminating in the twist and the knockdown.

    I could sense the force flowing through me, I was focused, I had noticed the same flaw continually appearing in
    Tis?bars moves.
    ?(Ah there it was again?) I knew when the moment would come when he would be vulnerable.

    Now this was it, I struck? he was off balance I twisted in the air landing behind him throwing out my foot connecting with his body and down he went.
    Once he fell I touched him on the shoulder with my sabre signalling the end of the match.

    (?I did it I had completed the 20th Kata and I wasn?t even sixteen yet.)I thought.

    My birthday was several weeks away and I couldn?t believe I had succeeded in completing the form.

    I could hear the roar of the crowd applauding.

    I stood for a few seconds enjoying the moment then held my hand out to my opponent and helped him to his feet, he also congratulated me.

    I was so happy!

    Smiling broadly I turned to my Master and the cold shiver of dread rushed through me again.

    It was like looking at a statue. His face was impassive he just stared at me.

    The smile quickly disappeared from my face.

    I walked over to him and bowed acknowledging the end of the match. Then I waited for a response.

    He formally bowed back to me.

    ?You did as well as I expected Padawan.? Qui-Gon said as he nodded his head.

    ? Tomorrow we will begin instruction on the 21st Kata. Now go and shower and be back in our apartment for evening meal in two hours. Then we will discuss Today?s match.?

    ?Yes Master? I said barely holding back my anguish.

    I retreated to the showers where my friends all gathered around congratulating me.
    I was happy, but I wanted my master to be happy if not for me, but for himself, but he wasn?t.

    ~~~~

    ?Qui-Gon, congratulations, your Padawan did very well,? announced the voices of several of Qui-Gons fellow Masters.

    ?You must be very proud of him, would you tell him we are happy for him.?

    Qui-Gon stared at the group of Masters, at that moment in his usual non committal voice he answered.

    ?Pride in ones achievements, can lead to arrogance and arrogance leads to?.. he stopped in mid sentence then said. ?Yes my Padawan did well. If you will excuse me I must be going?
    Qui-Gon seemed to be flustered as he realised what he had started to say, he nodded to them and quickly left the arena.

    As they watched him disappear from the arena four rather stunned Masters began to comment.

    ?What is the matter with that man? One said.
    ?Doesn?t he know what an excellen
  15. AngryWarrior Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2005
    star 1
    Delurks...

    Poor Obi-Wan, hopefully Qui-Gon will eventually come around to realize just how precious Obi-Wan is...

    Goes back to lurking.
  16. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Ah, this post starts out with a triumph, but quickly becomes very sad. Poor Obi-Wan.

    I like how use memories to contrast what is happening now to what Obi-Wan's life has been like. That technique also shows that Obi-Wan is losing focus on the present--he's not living in the here and now. It's perfectly understandable--he's miserable in the present, and he's grasping desperately for some kind of happiness. But it might cause problems if he isn't careful.

    I can see Qui-Gon's reasoning in this, but I hope that he soon comes to a breaking point and realizes how much pain he's causing his Padawan.
  17. lightsaver Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2005
    star 2
  18. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    AngryWarrior We can only hope Qui-Gon comes to his senses
    Glad to know your there Lurking.[face_dancing]

    Maychorian Thanks for your assessment of the situation
    your review is appreciated On with the Obi
    angst;)

    Lightsaver WOW pressure to continue OK !![face_peace]


  19. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Slipping unnoticed through the vines Obi-wan made his way to the steel door that gave him access to the old great hall.

    It always amazed him as he took each step down to the impressive stone walled hall.

    In reality the steps originally went up to the top of the Old Temple, many Jedi of the past would climb these steps to meditate on the roof, over looking a young Corrusant.

    But of course now many generations later the Temple reached new heights, with the extensions and new spires built
    accommodating the increasing population.

    Each step seemed to tell a story, some steps were worn in the centre, where many feet would touch the same place.

    Others had scars where maybe a young Jedi would sit and scratch their name in the stone, a few had moss covering them, grown there when the water seeped across and down the sides.

    A puddle of stagnant water had gathered at the bottom of the steps.
    Obi-wan had dug a channel, allowing the water to escape down the side of the steps and into a hole in the floor.
    So the stairs had dried out, and the musty smell had all but vanished.

    To Obi-wan this was an inspiring place, he often thought that others would think him mad for thinking that, he could imagine they would think this place was creepy.

    But to him it was mystical, although he had never felt the presence of a spirit, an aura of calm surrounded him
    whenever he came down here.

    As he descended and reached the bottom, he lit all the glow lamps that he had secured to the walls.

    As he walked further into the great hall, he would stop in front of large statues that appeared to hold the roof up.

    Each one was of a long dead Jedi.

    It seemed there was one of every species known to be Jedi, lining either side of the Hall.

    Several species Obi-wan didn?t recognise, but they were magnificent statues.

    By the time he had walked to the furthest end of the hall he had illuminated every corner with Glow lamps.

    He felt safe as he turned to look at his Jedi protectors. Standing silently as sentries.

    An archway was at the end of the hall and through it an alcove large enough for a bed and a book shelf ,this was Obi?s sanctuary.

    He had brought all the items that Master Tomar had given him, and a few other books that he had acquired over the years and put them on the shelf he had built.

    The end of the great hall closest to the stair way, made a good training arena it was wide and well lit with glow rods.

    This is were he practiced.
    Away from prying eyes, he could make mistakes here and no one would know.

    This was his haven, this was were he came in his free time, when the pressure of trying to be Qui-Gons perfect Padawan grew unbearable.

    Over the last three years Obi-wan had suffered a few ailments, a few broken bones, childhood diseases,several bouts of various exotic flu.

    Whether it was just pure coincidence that he got sick just as they were about to leave on a mission, was something Obi wasn?t certain of, but it happened.

    Those times Obi-wan would wonder if Qui-Gon regretted having him as a Padawan.

    Why would his Master go on so many missions with out him.

    Each time Master Yoda would say something like. ?Arrangements already made, needed he is, no other can we send. Have patience young one. Time there will be for missions with your Master?

    always an excuse for why Qui-Gon would go on his own.

    Obi-wan would come down here and cry until there were no more tears.

    It was far enough under ground that he could easily block out his Masters presence.

    That thought made him laugh.
    (I don?t need to try very hard to block him out, the only time we communicate with the bond is when he has too.
    (All other times he closes off to me)
    he thought.

    Obi-wan used to wonder why he did that until he found out that he wasn?t good enough for him.

    He wasn?t his beloved former apprentice.

    Qui-Gon never spoke of him but after Obi had been getting the silent treatment for something Qui-Gon said he had done wrong, he let it slip that his former apprentice go
  20. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    The plot thickens...
    In the crèche the only problems he ever had, was how to get the paint out of his hair.
    [face_laugh] Oh, that was just too funny.
    Wonderful lightening of the mood inside all that angst.
    Poor Obi, wondering why Qui-Gon hates him so much...And Qui-Gon is unable to tell him what he needs to hear so badly...:_|
    This mission looks to be interesting, though...what's wrong with Qui?
  21. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Poor Obi-Wan, so desperate for love. :( Now, if Qui-Gon would just take that thinking little farther and realize that he's too harsh ALL THE TIME. Obi can't even accept a compliment anymore, because he doesn't believe Qui's telling him the truth.

    Hmm. Is Qui-Gon sick? Should be interesting!
  22. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    *delurks*

    Nasty, nasty Quiggy! *steals Yoda's gimmerstick and pokes*

    *Hopes Obi-Wan leaves him*

    *relurks*
  23. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Woohoo, two posts to read! So Qui-Gon does care, eh? Now he just needs to realize Obi-Wan doesn't know it- don't be so dense Qui! Grrr. But now something's wrong with him, huh? This should be interesting. Can't wait for more! :D
  24. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    Its so odd how two people can have so much love and be so stupid about each other..XD But where would the fun in that be? [face_batting]
    Anyway, very nice. The rambling Obi-wan's thought process goes through reminds me just of how I thought as a kid his age....though I think I'm not much older than this Obi XD. Very cool.
  25. lightsaver Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2005
    star 2
    i repeat

    MORE! MORE, DAMN YOU!
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.