Before A Moment of Decision - JA (Qui/Obi) Updated 1/5

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi Obi-Wan, Dec 21, 2004.

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  1. Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2000
    star 3
    Title: A Moment of Decision
    Author: Jedi Obi-Wan
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Angst
    Time Period: Jedi Apprentice, Obi-Wan is 17
    Summary: On a mission turned sour, one split second decision may destroy a planet?s hope for the future and the relationship between Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi.


    Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated. :)

    *

    ?In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.?
    -Theodore Roosevelt

    *

    The club was full at this time of night with young people of every race coming together to dance, drink, and just have a good time. The music pounded in their ears as lights sparkled all around them, inviting them to the dance floor. Some of the Masters shook their heads in disbelief when they heard their apprentices describe what they did to ?relax?, but the padawans, especially Obi-Wan Kenobi, could think of nothing better to relieve stress after a string of long, exhausting missions.

    Tonight had been just what he had needed. After four straight missions, one of which had failed badly, Obi-Wan had never needed a break more in his life. At least, that?s what he had told his friends. Every one of them had been padawans long enough to know that missions wore even the strongest Jedi down quickly, so most of them took his explanation without question.

    However, Bant had been his best friend for far too long. She knew Obi-Wan better than any of his other friends, and he could tell by the look on her face when he had arrived back at the Temple that she knew something was wrong. She had just been looking for a chance to talk to him about it. So when all of their friends had left for either the bar or the dance floor, the small Calamarian turned to him.

    At first he ignored her gaze, pretending to be concentrating on Garen and his fairly attractive date. When she finally caught his eye, he just smiled and said, ?How are you, Bant??

    She laughed. ?I?m fine. How are you??

    He shrugged. ?I?m great.?

    Bant leaned forward on her elbows and stared hard at him. ?How are you?? she repeated, her tone speaking far more then her words had. Her compassionate eyes studied him for a long moment, and for some strange reason Obi-Wan felt himself getting choked up. He broke her gaze and looked at the floor. Bant placed a hand on his arm. For a long moment, the two of them sat there silently. Finally, he looked back up.

    ?I?m worried about Master Qui-Gon,? he admitted.

    Bant squeezed his arm. Obi-Wan sighed loudly and stood up. ?Can we go outside??

    ?Okay,? she said softly. Confusion was written all over her face, but she followed him out onto the street. They walked for about a block before finding a bench. They sat down, and Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands. Bant put her arm around him and waited.

    ?We went to Cadeeria on our last mission,? he started. ?I thought it was going to be simple. We were to protect Tormax Forr, he?s the Senator that?s leading Cadeeria?s effort to join the Republic, and keep an eye on the treaty talks between the two governments on the planet. When we arrived, they escorted us to the Senator?s mansion, and out of nowhere this woman suddenly yelled Qui-Gon?s name and tackled him.?

    Obi-Wan almost laughed at the expression on Bant?s face. ?She hugged Master Qui-Gon?? she asked incredulously.

    ?He didn?t seem to mind,? Obi-Wan said, a hint of a real smile flickering across his face. ?She was an old friend, he met her on a mission some years ago, and she also happened to be the Senator?s aide. Her name was Meera Kellar. Anyway, I thought she was a nice lady, but I had a bad feeling about her the first time I stepped into a room with her. It was the strongest feeling of disaster I had ever felt. It was like the force was telling me that something bad was going to happen, and that she was going to be at the core of it. I didn?t tell my Master. I should have, but I doubt he would have listened to me,? he paused, a far off look in his blue eyes. ?Don?t get me wrong, they really were just friends, and
  2. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Oooh why do I have the feeling I don't want Obi-Wan to go back to his room?

    *ponders*

    Well whatever the reason ;) Great start I look forward to reading more :)

    Awesome I got first review :D
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Really good. I loved your set-up and the fact that Obi-Wan needed to get away but was willing to do it without Qui-Gon's permission. Must have been some disagreement!

    Looking forward to more... soon.
  4. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    OOOOoooo what happend? I wanna know! :eek:
  5. KSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 1998
    star 3
    This looks very interesting! I look forward to reading more!

    I'm a bit concerned about Qui-Gon. I hope he's able to pull himself together before he does something he will regret.

  6. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Qui's so cold... I mean... even colder than normally. :eek:

    I hope he's able to pull himself together before he does something he will regret. ...or Obi does something stupid.

    Looks interesting, Jedi Obi-Wan. Would love to read more!

    Yours,
    DarkDream
  7. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Wow...Qui is being a real blockhead it would seem...I'm hooked. More soon!
  8. Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2000
    star 3
    Thanks to all of you for your replies!!!

    Layren - I don't think Obi-Wan wants to go back to his room either.

    dianethx - He should have known better than to sneak off that way, huh?

    LilQui-Gon - I guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens... ;)

    KSkywalker - People do strange things when they're angry.

    DarkDream - Knowing our favorite padawan, he will do something stupid. :D

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi - Blockhead is an excellent word to describe his behavior.

    Here's the next bit. Enjoy!

    Everyone have a very Merry Christmas!!

    *

    Two standard weeks earlier...

    ?Master! We?re about to enter the Cadeerian atmosphere. I talked to-?

    Obi-Wan stopped midsentence when he saw his Master, and a smile slowly spread across his face. Qui-Gon Jinn was lying precariously across the sleep couch. His head was at an angle against the back of the couch. One arm rested across his stomach while the other was over his head with his hand hanging off of the couch. He looked peaceful and had lost the intimidating and confident look that was his trademark.

    Obi-Wan sighed. He was going to have to wake him up, but he hated the thought. They had been on four straight missions, and the only opportunity for rest came in between leaving one planet and arriving on another. At least the Council had given them the small consideration of a pilot so they could get some sleep.

    Gently, Obi-Wan shook the older man?s shoulder. ?Master,? he said softly. ?We?re here.?

    Qui-Gon stirred, and it took him only a moment to open his eyes and become aware of his surroundings. ?How long until we land??

    ?The pilot said ten minutes.?

    ?Receiving party??

    Obi-Wan grinned. ?I talked to the Senator?s aide a few hours ago. Prime Minister R'shar, Senator Forr, and their parties are all going to meet us there.?

    Qui-Gon?s eyebrows rose, and he sat up. ?They?re all meeting us at the platform??

    The padawan shrugged. ?Maybe they think they?ll get back into the Chancellor?s good graces by playing nice to his ambassadors.?

    His Master chuckled. ?And I thought you would never understand politics.?

    Obi-Wan laughed all the way out of the room. Qui-Gon meditated for a brief moment to clear his mind before changing and joining his padawan in the cockpit. The pilot, a fiesty young woman neither of the Jedi had ever met before, was speaking with the planet and frowning.

    ?I sympathize, but I have Ambassadors of the Senate on board,? she was saying. ?The Senator and the Prime Minister are meeting them at the platform. I have the-? Whoever she was speaking to cut her off with an angry voice that the two Jedi could hear in spite of the head set she wore. After a few moments, she spoke again. ?Very well then, I understand. Yes, yes,? she said, entering coordinates into the computer. ?Thank you.?

    There was a short pause, and for the first time, Obi-Wan saw the girl grin. ?No, I don?t believe they will require body guards. Thank you, Cadeeria. Starbound out.?

    ?Slight change of plans, Master Jedi,? she said calmly, continuing to adjust the controls. ?There was an attack on the Prime Minister. He?s fine, but they?ve shut down most of the major landing platforms in Meetu. We?re being diverted to one on the outskirts. A cloud car will pick you up there and take you to the Senatorial mansion.?

    A slight shiver ran up his spine, and Obi-Wan looked at his Master, who nodded. Something wasn?t right.

    As they descended, the warnings intensified until the padawan?s entire body was tingling. Obi-Wan eyed the blaster strapped around the pilot?s thigh warily. It wasn?t uncommon for space pilots to wear them, but he had suspected that she was hiding something since meeting her.

    She set the ship down smoothly and lowered the ramp. Without a word, she followed the Jedi out of the ship and began inspecting the hull. It was a common post flight precaution, but it made Obi-Wan uneasy.

    A man emerged from a cloud car a few meters away, and met the Jedi with a smile. ?If it
  9. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Qui-Gon better not fall in love with her. :mad: Somethings not right, I can smell it!
  10. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    Hey Andi! Great story. I love the bit of mystery and intrigue you've got us hanging on.

    I loved the end--the pilot's jab about slavery!! lol, that was the best! :)

    keep it up!

    Merry Christmas!
  11. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Loved the setup. Poor Obi-Wan should have been more mindful - falling on something so deadly. The situation does appear to be worsening. We shall see.

    Good job. Keep going.
  12. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Slavery is outlawed in this galaxy, you know [face_laugh] Great statement!

    I wonder what else happend on that mission...

    Great chapter, Jedi Obi-Wan!

    Yours,
    DarkDream

    P.S.: Merry Christmas!!
  13. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Hrm a most interesting development and I agree with LilQui-Gon. Something isn't right I can just smell the fishiness...


    Great update :D
  14. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 2
    You've got a great beginning here. Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan fics are my favorite, although I have been known to wander over to the Saga board and check out Anakin fics as well.

    Superb beginning and I will be watching for updates on this story!
  15. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Oh poor Obi! *wants to kill the pilot* I applaude Qui for holding his temper!

    More soon!
  16. KSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 1998
    star 3
    Is there anyone else who wants to smack that Pilot as much as I do?


    Hmm.. I think I like Arwen-Jade_Kenobi's idea better! ;)
  17. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Yes!!! Let's get her a rope for christmas! [face_devil]
  18. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Anyone want to borrow an extra pair of my brass knuckles? :D
  19. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Great start! =D=
    Her arrogant ways reminded him of someone?
    Hope she is not related to Xanatos! :D
  20. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
  21. Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2000
    star 3
    Christmas was absolutely wonderful! I hope all of you enjoyed it as much as I did!!

    LilQui-Gon - Aren't the human senses amazing?? Even in a story we get the little tingle in our bodies that tells us that something about a person isn't quite right. And we're not even Jedi!!

    SarkaVrae - Good. My biggest problem with trying to insert mystery into a story in my tendency to give too much away too quickly. I'm like the people on Christmas who want to tell everyone what they got them because they're so excited!! Glad you liked the pilot's line!!

    dianethx - Thank you! I really enjoy your fic Betrayal, though I have a tendency to lurk (shame on me), but I will try to get my lazy bum over there and post something soon, as I hope you will do. ;)

    DarkDream - Oh, I think you'll really enjoyed what happens on their mission if your like me and like to see a bit of angst between such an amazing Jedi pair. :D

    Layren - "I can just smell the fishiness". That made me laugh. I'm not sure why, I just pictured someone saying it in a mafia voice. :cool:

    BrokenNoseofQui-Gon - I love your screen name! I'm a huge Qui/Obi fan too. I haven't gotten into Anakin fics just yet, but thats probabaly because I can't get myself out of the Before the Saga board. :)

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi - Do I see a hunting party forming to take out the pilot??

    KSkywalker - Violence is not the answer... 'Aggressive negotiations' are. ;)

    jeday - I think of Xanatos when I think of arrogance too, although I can assure you the Hylia has no relation to him.

    I have a question for all of you regarding the Jedi's use of the force. How much of it is feeling and instinct, and how much of it is the human brain? I realize everyone's opinion on this is probably different, but I am curious on how other Star Wars readers/writers perceive it.

    I haven't had this post as critiqued as I would have liked, but I'll put it up anyway. Hopefully the next one will be beta read. Enjoy!

    *

    Continued from the last post

    Hospitals, though meant to be places of recovery and rest, do not exactly inspire a feeling of peace to those who are under their care. Upon recovering consciousness, you are greeted first by a bright spectrum reminiscent of the light of the force, and a person would think he was dead if not for scratchy cloth that smells strongly of cleaner directly under his nose. The sensation of pain hits next. Dull; yet present enough for one to recognize the promise of much more to come

    Obi-Wan blinked his eyes against the overhead radiance, and an involuntary moan escaped his lips. He took a deep breath in an effort to cleanse his body, but immediately regretted it. A soft hiss accompanied the exhaling air.

    ?Please remain still,? a mechanical voice said. ?You have a deep laceration to the chest. Breathe lightly and, I repeat, remain still.?

    A red and gray nurse droid was across the room adjusting the temperature settings. Slowly, Obi-Wan focused his eyes and surveyed the rest of the room. A holo-vid, a door leading to what he supposed to be a fresher, and a window with a grand view of the roof of the building beside it. He frowned.

    ?Where is my Master?? he asked.

    The droid beeped a few times before answering. ?Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn is currently in conference with Prime Minister Yucinakas R?shar and Senator Tormax Forr. He regrets his absence and will be with you as soon as time allows.?

    That didn?t sound right. Qui-Gon wouldn?t have started the mission without him. Would he? The padawan sighed. Of course he would. He hadn?t been injured in a daring fight for the galaxy; he had lost focus, tripped, and fallen on? something. Time wasted was time misused, and Qui-Gon was acting the great Jedi Master he was by starting, with or without his apprentice.

    Obi-Wan pushed back the slight bit of anger and hurt creeping into his thoughts. It was his own fault. Attention to the moment, feeling instead of thinking: these were lessons he had been taught since he was a crèche
  22. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    *reads post*



    *reads post again*



    :eek: She... kissed... him... :eek:


    *pulls a small vial of posion out of her pocket and starts to search for the womans drink*
  23. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    oh my Goodness she kissed him!?

    Dude .. in front of Obi.....

    Qui did move away but still... most intriguing.


    I shall look forward to the next update :)
  24. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    He wasn?t sure if it was the force warning him about the woman, or if his stomach was telling him it was about to heave.
    [face_laugh]
  25. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Loved that Qui-Gon got kissed by someone who obviously knew him quite well. And Qui-Gon seemed to enjoy it. Good for him.

    I liked that Obi-Wan kept wondering where his Master was and trying to get better faster - so typically Obi-Wan. Great job with the set up. I look forward to seeing how this whole thing progresses.

    Keep going!

    And don't worry about lurking. Lurking is something that everyone does (even me). I know I have more lurkers than posters. But thanks for letting me know. :D Delurking is always much appreciated.
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