San Fran, CA A MOMENT OF SILENCE...

I know what you mean Bridget. It's difficult to see the reminder that she not with us physically but I take comfort that she will be with us spiritually. She also lives on in Angelica and I have a feeling she will be as powerful Force in this world like her mother before her.

 

Chanel is a bright star in the night skys. She has taken her place amongst the other fallen heros in a special place kept for her in the Milky Way. She is there, amongst her family and friends. Her star shines bright and will never fade.

 

Three months and it's still not getting easier. I'm having not what you might call "nightmares", but I dream about her and wake up, shivering. Chanel always talked about going to study abroad for about three months, and I couldn't imagine not seeing her for that long, but now....I miss her more each day.

 

Dark have my dreams been of late... Last night I kept fighting all these people that I never met before who wanted to fight me for some odd reason but I beat every one of them. However, it was like an endless line of battle and like after I beat one another would take their place. Even though I kept winning, I took no satisfaction from it. I was not happy since it felt like no matter what I did it wouldn't matter and I was fated to just fight. I hope it is not the future I see... and I hope these dreams pass in time. Your lucky Matt, it's cool that you get to see her, even if it is a dream.

 

*hugs for you both* I sympathize, I really do. I hope that as her birthday nears, your dreams will be happier. She wanted peace in this sector, and I think you are doing a fine job Ming.

 

I feel that seeing a friend or a loved one that has passed in a dream is there way of visiting us. I see my grandpa in my dreams from time to time, and I saw Chanel in a dream a couple of weeks ago. Whenever I see Chanel or my grandpa in my dreams, it feels like everything is normal again and the fact that they passed on was the dream. Then I wake up to reality and I realize that they were only in my dreams.

 

Peace keeping has always been the Jedi's mandate. So yeah I guess I'd be fated to fight to keep the peace like the Jedi of old.

 

I had almost forgotten this, but I set my phone alarm to remind me that today at 6:30 p.m. marked one year since Chanel and I first got to know each other in person. I remember how I was so nervous about meeting her and getting along with her, and then at the end of the night, I had her laughing the whole night and all the way home! An instant bond!

 

It's four months now, and I don't feel any better. I'm listening to the CD I made for you, and it not only bring sadness that you're not her, but it also reminds me of how we first met, and the good times we had...and could have had. I hope you enjoyed your birthday, and I know you were with us at Disneyland. I miss you so much, Chanel.

Thinking of you always,

Matt

XOXO

 

Today, need I remind all of you is now the 4 MONTH anniversary when we all lost our beloved Chanel (5:45p on 10/25).

And although time is finally starting to heal our wounds through the great support of all of the fan forces and our focus on Eva and Angelica, I would like to propose we do something even more special to honor her memory on APRIL 25 - the 6 month mark.
(So close to dates of WonderCon)
Any ideas?

 

I think going through with the unity celebration is the greatest honor we can bestow upon her.

Remember that we must live our lives with her honor in our hearts. It is not meant that we stop our own lives but proogress for the better. Do not forget that.

 

Nicely said Brian, but maybe we can still do one better... In the lastest insider went over the personnel on Hoth Echo Base. Among the lesser know heros of the Rebel Allliance is one "Major Shawn Valdez" who was in the original SW CCG. In reality Shawn Valdez was a 13-year old who had Leukemia and fought it out for 8 years. If anything our Chanel was no less heroic and courageous. I think we should start a petition to Lucasfilm to get a new character from Episode III to be named Chanel Vanecek. I think it's doable...

 

thats a great idea Ming!!! I know she would love that! Lets start that petition. I'm sure we can get a ton of signatures at Wondercon...even from other SW clubs around the world

 

Yub, We'll start writing something out at the next meeting and then we'll sign it. I dunno how exactly the process should go but maybe make something online so people can sign it easier? I'll have to yell at Terrill further but he's just be really busy. Has anyone done a petition before? I'll drop a line to Steve Sansweet and Mary Franklin to see what they have to say and/or will support this.

 

Just a small "head's up".

I recently received an e-mail from someone I did not recognize who found a website with a reference to Chanel www.deadrabbit.com/links.html

Now, before you go jumping all over this guy, I think he was just short on information. I have already sent him an e-mail telling him a little more about her and pointing him in the direction of these boards so he can "educate" himself on who she was and what she meant to us all. I also gave him Ming's e-mail in case he wants to talk to someone who knew her better.

There is nothing in his message that speaks badly about her, he just didn't know her whole story. I also responded to the person who informed me of this asking how he found me (and not you guys). Just a bit of curiosity on my part. I don't know if he lurks on the SVRF boards or if my e-mail is listed somewhere.

It seems that even now Chanel is reaching out to other communities outside the Star Wars universe. Who knows what this development may bring about. Keep and open mind and an open heart.

~Bridget

 

I don't think this guy means any harm and I don't think he's being sarcastic... If he e-mails I'll set him straight, if not, no biggy, unless he posts something deragatory, then maybe our friend Shaddow Hunter will take an interest. Thanks for bring this to our attention Brdiget. It seem alright though.

 

oddly enough I found his comments profound. It's intereting to see what an 'outsider's' take on this looks like.

 

Yeah, I was kinda touched that he managed to find and post something about Chanel while just wandering the web. It says something about the internet and how you can reach out to so many people through it.

 

In terms of the CCG idea, I know I've discussed this idea with Ming and a few others. As for a picture of her, I recently just added a new one of Chanel on Rebel Legion under "Jedi", in my Anakin costume. I think that would make a great card! Check it out and let me know what you think? The 501st is in the process of making a card of her, so why not a Jedi, too?

 

Oh I rememer that, it's the one where she had her hair down in your Ani under tunic right? She looked great in that. I never thought Chanel would miss Episode III because where ever she is now you know she be back just for the first showing with all of us at whatever theather (Coronet hopefully!) we'll see it at! At least that is what I had believed... An interesting POV indeed from this guy.

 

Wherever Episode III plays, I'll be saving a seat for her.

 

I only had the fortune of interacting with Chanel in limited fashion within an online forum, as opposed to sharing the pleasure of her company in person. As the 5-month anniversary of her passing draws near, I wish all who knew her peace and comfort. She shall be truly missed. God Bless.

 

Chanel, before I met you, I liked No Doubt, and my favorite song of theirs was "Don't Speak":

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real, well I don't want to know...

And after I met you, I really got into them, and you'd always play this song in my car, "Running":

Run, running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me, I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most

And I'm sorry that I've fallen
Help me up, let's keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running, as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated...

I didn't give it much thought until after you left, but I'm thinking to myself, "Were you trying to tell me something?" Hmmm.

I miss you.

You're part of me always.

XOXO

Matt

 

I didn't get to post today in time Five. It's been a day and 5 months but it could be 5 years or 5 decades and I think we'll all still miss you as much as that last fateful day a little over 5 months ago. I'd think you'd be proud of what were doing with Fan Force even if you thought that me being CR was a bad idea.

See? Didn't I tell you EB was cool? I'm sure you have no doubts now so maybe you can trust me now with being the guardian of SF Fan Force during your extended vacation from it all.

The things I miss the most though, is your voice, your smile, and your strength. Be at peace, daughter of the Force, the things you cherished in life are in good hands. There is no death, there is the Force.

Fly fast and shoot straight,
Rogue One

 

Dear Chanel,

It's almost WonderCon again. My first Nor. Cal convention. My first convention in costume with the Rebel Legion and SVRF. You made sure I felt welcome in this strange group of passionate people. I was a bit overwhelmed and shy, but you showed me how warm and welcoming this group can be. It's probably because of you that I am here today, CR of the SVRF. It will be hard going to my second WonderCon knowing you will not be there to welcome me. But you introduced me to my good friends in the SFFF, for that I will always be grateful. You live on in them, and whenever I see them, I see a little piece of your light.

I feel so priviledged to know each and every one of you and I look forward to every moment we share in our geek-dom.

The Force brings us together.
Bridget