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Saga A New Destiny (AU, ff reboot, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and more)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by bentheswguy, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. JABrown

    JABrown Jedi Master star 1

    Oct 22, 2004
    Comment on Prologue

    An interesting beginning. I look forward to seeing what Palpatine is up to in this AU, nice job of making him just as sneaky and underhanded as the Palpy we all know and love! I look forward to seeing where this is going!
  2. JABrown

    JABrown Jedi Master star 1

    Oct 22, 2004
    Comment on Chapter 1

    So Anakin is not a slave in this reality? And has been raised by the Darklighters? Cool! I like the fact that Padme is a Princess, a nice tie in with Leia in the original trilogy. And also good to see some things stay the same, ie. Obiwan and Qui-Gon. I wonder where this will go...
  3. bentheswguy

    bentheswguy Jedi Youngling

    Nov 8, 2012
    @Lady_Misty Jade_eyes JABrown Darth_Kiryan anakin_sal-solo ccp

    Thank you everyone for the kind comments. I’m so glad my second shot at this story has been pleasing so far! So much more to come! So many more surprises!

    Chapter 7…

    The red and white Delta-7 Aethersprite-class light interceptor hovered lowly above the seemingly endless forest lands of Endor. Miles upon miles were placed before the starfighter, and every so offend there was a break in the trees and a large grassy opening would appear. In one of those particular openings, was a steel structure, a factory of sorts. It was enormous, the size releasing an intimidating feel. The factory had a main building, with multiple wings and towers spawning from it. Off the front of it were three landing pads, all vacant.

    The Delta-7 piloted toward of the empty landing pads, and eventually came to a halt, descending toward the durasteel landing zone. A minute went by, as the pilot messed with controls, and the engines began to shut down, emitting a woosh sound. The cock-pit then slid open, and a man climbed out. He was dressed in heavy Jedi robes, of a light brown color. The man was dark skinned, long black hair separated into individual braids draped from the top of his skull. From cheek to cheek, across the bridge of his nose was a yellow stripe, a tattoo.

    He patiently waited by his starfighter for minutes before the entrance doors to the factory zipped open. Out came four men. Two Neimoidians, both dressed in red tunics, with blue capes. And a cloth cap on their heads that resembled a crown. On either side of them were two towering well-built men, their identities concealed by cloth masks, carrying blaster rifles. They were some form of Federation guards.

    The four men moved across the landing pad, heading straight for the recently docked pilot. In seconds they were standing face to face.

    “Welcome ambassador… I take it you are the Jedi Knight Quinlan Vos?” One of the Neimoidians greeted.

    Neimoidians were strange looking creatures. They had pinched features, and extremely wrinkly green skin. They had no noses, and breathed through glands under their bulging eyes. Not the most attractive species.

    “That is me.” Quinlan replied.

    “Very well, my name is Nute Gunray. I’m sure you have heard of me, Supreme Commander of the Trade Federation.” The Neimodian said back, offering a slight bow.

    “All too well Commander Gunray.” Vos bowed back.

    Of course Quinlan had heard of Nute Gunray. Gunray was indeed the Supreme Commander of the Trade Federation. Although that title implied respect and intelligence. Gunray was nothing more than a power hungry terrorist seeking to overthrow the Republic.

    “And if you wouldn’t mind reminding ambassador, why have you come to our facility?”

    Nute knew exactly why Quinlan had come. But the Jedi ambassador of the Republic had to be respectable. This was not to get ugly.

    “I’m a Jedi ambassador dispatched by the Republic to inspect this facility. Remember Commander, the Federation still has ties with the Republic. This routine checkup is completely legal.” Quinlan replied with a phony smile, he was almost sure Nute knew it was forced.

    “As long as it is just routine as you say.” Nute nodded to his guards, and the group spun around in unison and headed for the factory, with Vos shortly behind them.

    The checkup was hardly routine though. Vos was here to gain intel on this Clone Army that the Federation was building. The Republic needed to know how much of threat that this army could be.


    “If you follow me this way, you can see the stages the clones grow at.” Nute glanced back at Quinlan as they continued down the corridor that was elevated high above the floor of the factory.

    Both side walls of the corridor were viewports that aloud any inhabitant to see what was going on with the cloning process. Quinlan observed the first stage of the process. It long clear tubes lined the ceiling in crossing patterns. In individual gold tinted pods, sliding through the tubes slowly, were premature clones. Their faces and bodies not fully formed yet, scrunched up into a fetal position, skin covered in slime. On the ground was a gigantic reactor of sorts in which the tubes spouted from. Rushing around were medical and other droids.

    “This stage simulates the gestation period of a mother. In these pods the clones are fed proper nutrition during their growing stages. They are cycled through the tubes bi-hourly, and on have rest periods on the other alleys.” Nute stopped and paused. “And if you keep moving forward.”
    Nute and the Jedi kept walking until they reached their next stopping point.

    “Here we have a multitude of ages. From the time that they are completed forming, their aging process increases. One month is like a year for these clones. In this stage they are separated into groups. Two to five year olds, six to eight year olds, nine to twelve year olds, and thirteen to sixteen year olds.” Nute motioned to the space below. “The age groups are then educated at their respective learning levels. The younger clones learning to talk, studying history, science, and more. The older clones get to learn more advanced things like math, and navigating.”

    Vos stared down at the mass amount of clones. There were multiple cubicles, housing three to five clones, and one teacher in each one. The clones all had similar looks, light brown skin, dark black hair, and green eyes. They seemed intently focused on learning, absolute attention was provided to the teachers.

    “Please let’s move forward to the final stage.” Nute stepped forward. “Right now you can see the clones enjoying a meal. They are from seventeen to twenty five years old. Once twenty five the aging process is halted and the clones are done growing.”

    Quinlan looked upon a vast cafeteria. Crowded with many clones with food covered trays, all chowing down. The clones were emotionless; they showed no care that baffled Vos.
    Nute then led Quinlan toward the end of the corridor, entering a small room, with bare white walls.

    “Do you have any questions at all ambassador?” Nute curiously asked.

    “Not that I can think of. You’re facility seems very secure and efficient.” Quinlan nodded. “However I warn you Commander. If you consider attacking the Republic in anyway with this army, as I believe you will. I promise regret will haunt you.” Vos spoke forcefully but at a respectful tone.

    “Ambassador the Federation would never commit an extreme act of terrorism against the Republic without just cause. But I promise you, cause will be given.” A smirk slid across Nute’s lips.

    “I will be leaving now…” Quinlan exited the room.

    “As you wish.” Nute let the Jedi pass by.

    As Quinlan stepped back into the corridor he glanced upward and saw the viewport of another room. Standing before the viewport was a familiar face… The cold stare of the man gave Vos chills. He was a friend… used to be a friend… Sifo-Dyas…


    Quinlan stepped out of the factory and back on the walkway that led to his landing pad. He couldn’t shake the sight of Sifo-Dyas. What was his former friend doing at a Federation factory? What had he become? With his mind in a blur Vos made it just past halfway on the walkway when his starfighter exploded instantaneously. A burst of fire and debris erupted from the landing pad, and the impact unleashed from the explosion forced Vos soaring back a few feet. He crashed back first on the solid walkway, a sharp pain shooting up his spine.

    Quickly he rose to his feet, looking back and forth in confusion. Then from the entrance of the factory, someone busted onto the walkway. Clad in blue and grey Mandalorian Armor, complete with a helmet. The man raised duel blasters at Quinlan and prepared to fire. Vos removed his cape, and using the force pulled his lightsaber straight from his belt to his hand. The armored man shot at the Jedi, who ignited his weapon, and batted the bolts away. The armored man then began to approach Quinlan, continuing to lay down blaster fire. Vos realized he was backing up toward the fiery ball that used to be his ship. Feeling the heat on the back of his neck, Vos knew he had to do something.

    After deflecting a blast, he glanced below the walkway; it was roughly eight meters till the surface. Vos batted away one last shot then jumped over the edge of the walkway. Using the force he slowed his fall. When his feet made contact with the ground, he instantly bolted into a summersault, and came up on his feet. Looking back over his shoulder as he ran deep into the forest, he saw the armored man staring down upon him.

    Who the hell was that?


    Any guesses who the armored man was???? lol
  4. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007

    Interesting take on the cloning process.

    Things could get ugly fast.
  5. bentheswguy

    bentheswguy Jedi Youngling

    Nov 8, 2012
    @Lady_Misty JABrown Jade_eyes Darth_Kiryan ccp anakin_sal-solo

    Chapter 8…
    The CR90 Corvette zoomed over the cityscape of Coruscant. It was night time, but the city never slept. The many lights of the thousands and thousands of buildings brightened the whole sky. The lower space lanes were still very jammed and busy. So the Republic Corvette merged dropped into the upper lane, which was essentially empty. It slowed its pace as it headed for the Senate Building.

    Anakin sat silently in the passenger compartment; his hands rested upon his lap, comfortable leaned back in his spacious chair. He allowed his eyes to drift around the compartment to look at the others with him. In the seat in front of his was Senator Palpatine, who was calmly asleep. On the opposite row of chairs he saw Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, a few hand-maidens, and of course Padme… The new Queen of Naboo.

    Padme gave the boy an awkward smile of some sort, Anakin almost did back. But he shook his head, then look away, toward the small circular viewport near his seat. Staring upon the busy city he tried to not think about the Queen. Part of him held much animosity toward the girl, the other half of him was much more forgiving. But he couldn’t decide… He was young and confused. So much had happened in a short time.
    The Federation invaded his homeworld, and then he was sent to a foreign planet. Experiencing a completely alien culture, the life of the rich and proper, elegant, wealthy, well-educated citizens. Like nothing he had ever witnessed. The only life he knew was smugglers, farmers, and low life homeless beings.

    But then the thought of becoming a Jedi crossed Anakin’s train of thought. And suddenly his mood improved. He wasn’t worrying about Padme; he wasn’t worried about missing the Darklighters. All he was concerned about was getting to the Jedi Temple, and appearing before the great council. Hearing the Grand Master tell him he would be trained as a Jedi. That would mean everything to Anakin, and he couldn’t wait for that moment. He would be proud, his mother would be proud.

    This was a new beginning for Anakin… this was a new destiny…


    Obi-Wan rose from his bucket seat, making sure he had stable balance. He then followed Qui-Gon toward the back of the compartment, like his former master had instructed him to. The two Jedi stood directly in front of a door that led into the cargo hull.

    “What is it that you wanted Master?” Obi asked curiously.

    “I received the test results back from Anakin’s blood count.” Qui-Gon said as he dug into the pocket of his tan trousers and pulled out a small device, with two needles coming from the top.
    Obi took the device, pressing a button causing the screen to light up.

    “His midi-chlorians are off the charts!” Qui-Gon exclaimed, soon he realized he had spoken loudly because Anakin glanced back at the two Jedi.

    Obi looked the device over and his mouth dropped in surprise. “He has over 40,000 that is more than Master Yoda and Master Windu combined.” Qui-Gon replied with a nod. “What does this mean?”

    “You remember during teachings. I taught you about the prophecy of Ashla, and those who followed her teachings?”

    “Yes… I remember… do you think?” Obi was full of curiosity.

    Obi remembered the prophecy vividly. In ancient times the two first force sensitives were female humans named Ashla and Boga. They started teaching others who possessed the same powers as them, to perfect their skills. But soon dispute arose over how the force should be taught to each other. And Boga defected from Ashla and created the dark side, while Ashla stayed true to the light side.

    From that time on Ashla and Boga feuded. Both living late past a century, both however ended dying of old age. Before death they both left a prophecy written. Each stating that there would be one human being that would be extremely powerful in the force. More powerful than any other force sensitive. And that person could either destroy the dark side of the force, if taught in the ways of Ashla. Or destroy the light side of the force if taught in the ways of Boga.

    “There is a possibility that Anakin…” Qui-Gon got even quieter. “Anakin could be who Ashla and Boga wrote about in their prophecies…”

    Obi was so shocked but yet happy to. It gave him a sense of security that Anakin could possibly bring balance to the force for the light side.

    “But nothing will be truly known until he appears before Master Yoda. And on that note, we speak about this no more until that time comes.” Qui-Gon concluded the conversation and walked back to his seat.

    Obi-Wan stood motionless for minutes not even realizing he hadn’t gone back to his seat. Anakin turned around and stared at Kenobi, wonder filling his eyes. Obi just smiled and went back to his seat, trying not to worry about the prophecy…


    Mace Windu swiftly moved through a dimly lit corridor, his robes trailing behind. His face showed signs of tiredness, it was late, and he needed sleep. But there were urgent matters to attend to. Mace turned a corner into another corridor, showing no difference then the latter. Mace practiced what he was going to say in his head, that way he didn’t seem like a bother once reaching his destination. The destination which was a locked wooden door. Windu rubbed his eyes lightly, trying to fully awake. Then he knocked on the door softly. After a few seconds, Mace heard the lock mechanism click, and the door creaked open. But when the Jedi entered into the dark quarters, no one was standing at the door.

    Mace tried to gain full vision to see in the room but he could only see outlines. One outline in particular was of a small being, whose feet were hanging over the edge of the bed swaying back and forth.

    “What is it that brings you here at this hour Master Windu?” A familiar voice spoke.

    “Master… I received to messages. One that is swell news, and the other… Well let’s just say it is not so swell.” Mace straightened up from his sleepy slouch. “Which one would you like to hear first?”

    “Worry me I fear you well with the bad news… The good news I must hear first.”

    “Very well, Master Qui-Gon Jinn contacted me, stating that him and his party had arrived on Coruscant.” Mace stated.

    “And the bad news?”

    “Quinlan Vos sent me a distress signal… Master he is trapped on Endor.”

    The figure on the bed dropped to the floor and moved closer toward the light that was shined from the open door, revealing his identity.

    “Worried I am…” Yoda shook his head.

  6. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    I like the prophecy that you did.

    So for now Padme is something that Anakin isn't thinking too much about.
  7. bentheswguy

    bentheswguy Jedi Youngling

    Nov 8, 2012
    @Lady_Misty JABrown Jade_eyes anakin_sal-solo Darth_Kiryan ccp

    Chapter 9…

    Quinlan came to a stop in the lush forest, leaning against a tree; he slid down to the ground. He wiped the sweat away from his forehead and took a few deep breaths. He had been running for a solid fifteen minutes, hoping that his attacker wouldn’t follow. He had no idea who the armored man was; all he knew is that he nearly got killed. Nute was behind it, Vos could feel it. The Supreme Commander of the Federation had to of had explosives planted on Quinlan’s ship when they went inside, and then he sent the Mandalorian out to finish the job. But luckily for Vos, he survived.

    But running could only keep him save for so long…

    He hoped that the Jedi Council received his distress signal, and that they would be contacting him soon. Quinlan glanced up at the sky; the sun was close to setting. The sky had transformed from a bright blue, to an orange, pink hue. He nearly closed his eyes, but decided that sleep could come later. Knowing he needed to go deeper into the forest to evade any pursuit, Quinlan rose to his feet, and moved on, slowing his pace down to a fast walk instead of his previous sprint.

    As he continued into the forest Quinlan thought about home. The planet of Kiffu, the world he left behind years ago to train as a Jedi. He knew his parents were okay, and heard much about them in the HoloNet. Considering that Quinlan was born into the famous Vos Clan, the rulers of Kiffu. His family was frequently spoken of in news. As much as Quinlan loved and missed his relatives, he loved serving the galaxy twice as much.

    Slowly dozing off into deep thought, the Jedi suddenly stopped abruptly. A concerned look was painted over his face as the strong scent of blood and burnt flesh invaded his sense of smell. Vos began to move very slowly until he saw the source of the horrific scent, the unimaginable terror place directly before his eyes. Hundreds of Ewoks slain, scattered about the bushed and trees like rags. Different limbs severed from the torsos, some blood drenched bodies hanging by their feet from trees. Nearly every inch of green plant life was covered by the harsh red color of Ewok blood, truly disgusting…

    With much pain in his heart Quinlan stepped up to a lifeless Ewok and knelt beside it. Placing his hand over the Ewok’s forehead, Vos cleared all other thoughts from his mind and focused solely upon the creature. With the aid of the force Quinlan began to use his power of Psychometry. A skill possessed by force sensitives Kiffars like Vos. Allowing them to see events of the animate or inanimate plant, object, or creature. Not only getting visuals, but the emotional and physical feelings from the visions.

    Quinlan steadied his breathing to a slow pace and moments later it was like he entered a trance. His eyes that were close opened wide, glowing bright blue. His breathing increased, and sweat continued to poor from his face, this time worse than before. Vos then began to witness what had happened…

    Clone troopers rushed through the forest, Ewoks in front of them struggling to escape the fire of their blaster rifles. But many were mowed down, trampled, shoved deep into the ground. That wasn’t even the most malevolent part of the ordeal. From the shadows of the forest appeared a cloaked man, his face hidden by a pointed hood. Wielding a yellow lightsaber the man unleashed an inhumane assault on the peaceful Ewoks. Slashing arms and legs from torsos, inflicting deep stab wounds on the creatures, utter massacre. Then the Quinlan witnessed the worst part through the poor, helpless eyes of a Ewok. It was a mother, calling for her child. But the murderer was holding the child, by the fur on it’s head. And he beheaded it, right in view of the mother. Still holding the head of the dead child the cloaked being started to laugh, malice haunting his voice. The man then approached the mother, helpless, she was killed… He then removed his hood, the cold stare of Sifo-Dyas was unveiled…

    Quinlan came out of the vision, and his heart was racing intensely. He fell to the ground; the shear pain he felt during the vision was hard to bare. Everything Nute had told Vos about the Federation’s presence on Endor being friendly was a lie. The clones used the defenseless species as target practice. And Sifo merely got sick pleasure by mangling them. That was what drained the most energy from Quinlan. Seeing his old friend be so disgusting. Sifo was once an admirable, trustworthy, and honorable Jedi, but what he had become was far from that. He was a murderer, nothing more, nothing less… Quinlan feared the dark side had control of Sifo… he feared that the man was too far gone…


    “Nervous you are?” Yoda adressed Anakin.

    Anakin was standing in the center of the Jedi Council Chamber, at the top of the high elevated tower on the Jedi Temple. His nervousness caused him to tap his feet on the floor, catching odd looks from council members. One particular scare really worried Anakin, the stare of Mace Windu. The man looked very grumpy, but maybe he was just analyzing the boy, using the force to sense his feelings. Anakin hoped that’s all his problem was.

    “Yes.” Anakin chocked out an answer.

    “Don’t let nervousness consume you young Skywalker. Because fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate… leads to suffering. All influences of the dark side of the force.” Yoda scratched his beard.

    Anakin nodded, not daring to say a word. Hoping to not upset the council, because this was his chance. If all went well here Anakin could become a Jedi.

    “Anakin we sense the power of the force in you, and it is strong. So we would like to perform a little test.” Mace Windu surprisingly spoke.

    “What kind of test Master?” Anakin straightened up.

    Despite how much Anakin tried to just sound slightly concerned, Mace knew the boys was full of worry. Qui-Gon obviously didn’t warn him of a test, and that was why Mace was never too fond of Qui-Gon. He always focused on spur of the moment events, never concerned of the future. Never taking actions that would better the future. He thought unintelligently and childish. But unfortunately for Mace, most of the council members respected Qui-Gon, approved of his doings.

    “No need to be scared.” Mace reached into a compartment of his chair and pulled out a small datapad. “Anakin different pictures of transportation machines will appear on this datapad, I will ask you what each one is without showing you the picture. Just trust you’re instinct, and answer what you think is on the screen.”

    Anakin was again only nodded, His heart now racing extremely. Mace turned on the screen of the datapad; it showed a picture of a Noobian Transport from Naboo.

    “Go ahead…” Mace said.

    Anakin stared at the ground for seconds before answering. “A ship.”

    “Good.” Mace changed the picture; it was now a Liberator starfighter.

    “A starfighter.”

    “Correct.” Once again Windu went to the next picture, this time it was some type of passenger freighter.

    “A ship.” Anakin confidently said.

    Mace nodded in approval then changed the picture.

    “A speeder.” Anakin now had a smile on his face; he was feeling very proud of himself.

    “Very good Anakin…” Mace turned to Yoda, allowing the little green Jedi to take the floor.

    “Young Skywalker if you would please send in Master Qui-Gon now.” Yoda smiled.

    Anakin turned and left the room, allowing Jinn to come in. Qui-Gon stood with his shoulders broad, a stubborn look on his face. He hoped the council would not be foolish in their decisions.

    “He’s too old!” Mace exclaimed.

    “Foolish…” Qui-Gon shook his head, allowing a sarcastic smile to appear.

    “Young Skywalker is fourteen that is way past normal Padawan age.” Ki-Adie Mundie stated.

    Yoda took both claims into account and came up with his own perception. “The boy is older than normal Padawans. But a waste of his abilities it would be, not to train him.”

    “I’m strongly opposed to it…” Mace shook his head angrily.

    Qui-Gon smirked knowing the man was upset.

    “All in favor of allowing training for Skywalker, say I.” Yoda awaited the response.

    A loud answer of I was spoken, causing Mace to scowl.

    “All opposed.”

    Mace and only two others answered. Qui-Gon had a mix of emotions; he was proud, happy, excited, and laughing at Mace. On the inside of course…

    “Very well the boy will be trained…”

  8. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    Those poor Ewoks! :_|

    Sifo-Dyas must die for hurting them!

    Well Anakin will be trained. :)
  9. Darth_Kiryan

    Darth_Kiryan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 13, 2009
    They will have their revenge.