A New Idea

I'm working on a new idea that's really kind of never been touched before...I think. Well, maybe it has, but I think it's a compelling story. Here it is in a nutshell:

It is a trilogy, basically written like SW7-9. In the first one, we meet our hero, ELIA SKYWALKER, who is only an apprentice at this time...around 19 years old. (By the way, the entire thing takes place about 100 years after ROTJ.) There is a growing alliance in the galaxy and things are just starting to look up since the Empire. The Jedi Order has been reestablished and is again thriving with hundreds, even thousands of Jedi, throughout the galaxy. Learning from their mistake, they are not directly involved with this Galactic Alliance, but are there when needed.

The story starts with a massive invasion of an Outer Rim world known for its riches and nobility. In fact, we find out that this planet is off-limits to all Jedi for this very reason...too much temptation. The invasion causes the Jedi Order and the Alliance to try and negotiate a settlement. One thing leads to another and soon some of the characters are in a fight for their life (two Jedi Apprentices) while their Masters fight these aliens on a different front. It's a very action-packed story with lots of ground battles and many lightsaber duels. Ultimately, these aliens are driven back and defeated, only at a great cost to the Jedi.

Almost a year passes between the first and second one. After the victory over these aliens, the Alliance has never been stronger. But just when everyone thought it was safe, the aliens are back with a vengeance. This time, they strike at the heart of the Alliance...Coruscant. They quickly and brutally take over much of the galaxy, instituting an empire even more sinister and wicked than the GALACTIC EMPIRE. The Jedi have to flee and are left backpeddling. These aliens invade the Outer Rim planet they started with a year earlier...and the key to everything lies on that planet somewhere. To make matters worse, someone is kidnapped at the end.

The Jedi are definitely left back in a corner as the third one starts. These aliens are really starting to get bad...Jedi are being killed left and right. The Jedi have only one option...attack. It's very tense with a lot of twists and turns.

What does everyone think? Ideas...suggestions?

 

I deleted your other thread as it was a mirror copy of this one. Hope you can find the help you need.

 

Thank you. My computer had acted up.

 

No one has ANY feedback on this? C'mon, I know people here are pretty avid SW fans and active writers...there's gotta be some kind of feedback. Let's hear it!

 

I've never been really good at giving detailed feedback, but if you write this story and post it, I'll read it.

 

Thanks...I'll remember that!

 

What makes the thing interesting is the "attack" patrt - which might lead to interesting consequences regarding the Jedi Code.

 

Hmmm...interesting...

You've sparked my interest. What kind of consequences? (And you're talking about the final attack on the planet, right?)

 

Is this idea too far out there, or is there something that will work there? I'd really like to get into this more, so any input would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to post or even PM me with ideas!

 

You've sparked my interest. What kind of consequences? (And you're talking about the final attack on the planet, right?)

I think what he's referring to is that the Jedi believe "the Force is only for knowledge and defense, NEVER for attack."

The concept isn't that bad, but the general premise sounds a tad too much like the NJO.

 

I'm not familar with anything outside of the movies. What parts of my story parallel NJO? I'd like it to be more original. Any thoughts?

 

Well, I don't read the NJO, but my impression is that it's basically about an alien invasion that more or less annihilates most of the galaxy. And the aliens specifically target Jedi as a threat. And they attack and take over Coruscant. So yeah...sounds a LOT like your idea.

 

Okay...then how do I fix it? Any ideas?

 

C'mon, there has to be some NJO people out there who can help me!

 

Sorry, I don't read the NJo, and what drippyzeo said was right.
(Sorry, I don't read that often here ...)

 

I think there are enough differences between this idea and the NJO that it's still original. In the NJO, the Yuuzhan Vong didn't take Coruscant until after two years of brutal war, and as long as these aliens don't abhor technology of any kind and have a fanatic religion, they won't be anything like the Yuuzhan Vong. Also, the time period allows for a lot of differences, as the NJO is just 25-30 years after the original trilogy, and focuses mainly on the characters of the Solo children and original trilogy, whereas yours is 100 years later and has original characters. I really think you have enough differences for this to be original. I say go for it . Just because something involves an alien invasion doesn't mean it's a mirror image of the NJO.

 

Thank you for your input. I haven't read any of the NJO, so I was very unfamilar with it.

To address a couple of points you brought up...these aliens don't abhor technology. In fact, they have some technology that the galaxy hasn't seen yet. Also, they aren't terribly religious either. There is one person that they revere, but not as holy or anything.

Given the idea, can anyone think of anything that could be added to give the story that extra punch? That something that would really make it a very good story?

 

Well, one thing you could have is a revolution that splits the GA apart whilsst the alien guys are attacking. And also, make sure there is a better reason for the aliens attcking than 'We needed sum bad guys. Yeah'

 

Do you mean a revolution where some of the planets side with the aliens?

There is a reason for new aliens...revenge. It's all explained, but needless to say, it stems from immediately following ROTJ when Luke trained more Jedi, one of them went bad. It's a whole long backstory, but this is basically revenge for something that happened.

But I am still curious what other things (besides a revolution, which I think is a good idea) I can add to this.

 

I would agree with the idea of a revolution, but rather than people siding with the aliens, I would suggest a sort of popular uprising of people who are tired of fighting a losing battle, somewhat like the Russian Revolutions of 1917 (minus the communists ), where large groups of soldiers don't want to fight because they're starving, and large portions of the populace don't support the government because it keeps the war going. The revolution doesn't have to be successful (because then there would be no way to stop the invaders, the entire power structure of the galaxy would be polarized), but it would be a good way to shake things up a bit, give the heroes more than one problem to deal with. That's just one suggestion, though . The most fascinating thing about revolutions and civil wars is the fact that they can turn out almost any way imaginable... and then some

 

Hmmm...some very interesting things in that storyline.

First of all, you said: In fact, we find out that this planet is off-limits to all Jedi for this very reason...too much temptation. That's very interesting. It sounds like the Order has become very much what it was before the original Empire took over. Do they allow families? Do they allow marriage? Those might be things to consider, if you want it to be different from the original Jedi Order.

Second of all, I agree with Jedi_Anakin_Solo...it doesn't sound much like the NJO to me. The Yuuzhan Vong (aliens) that invaded the galaxy went from planet to planet and took everything they could...it sounds like your story is revolving around something on one planet, but that the people will do whatever they can to get to it.

Third of all, the aliens instituting something worse than the Galactic Empire is a bit cliche, so you might need to throw some kind of twist into it to make it a bit different. Like...what makes it worse than the Empire? In what ways is it worse? It's not bad that there IS another Empire--there's something to be said about history repeating itself, especially if the galaxy doesn't think it could happen to them again. Maybe after a hundred years they would have been lulled into thinking they were safe.

A split in the GA is an idea, but if you want to avoid history repeating itself even more, that wouldn't be something to use. (i.e., the split in the original republic that Palpatine created in his takeover.) Although politics is still politics, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if they were split over the whole ordeal. Some planets siding with the bad guys is one idea, although you might do something like having the leaders of these planets agreeing with the bad guys (probably out of fear). I think there would be quite a few uprisings from some of the people living on the planets if this were to happen. All in all, that's up to you. Jedi_Anakin_Solo's idea of a revolution of the soldiers is also very realistic. I think very often clumps of soldiers are just portrayed as mindless fighting machines...showing the that the realities of this war are hitting everyone, including the soldiers, would be a very real twist.

As far as attacking goes, if it has come down to that, I don't know if I would call it attacking. It sounds very much like defense--an evil group is attacking, they've tried everything they can, and the Jedi are supposed to bring peace and justice. They're protectors. If fighting is the only way they can protect, I think they would do that.

You mentioned Elia Skywalker. Where does she fit into this? (If you want to share, of course.) Oh, one thing--and I'm only saying this because I've seen a lot of Mary Sues. I don't know your writing, or how you do your characters--but you might want to make sure Elia has flaws. That's something that some people don't do. It's very unbelievable to have a Jedi who wins all the time, is good at everything, is top of the class, et cetera, et cetera... some people are horrible at computers, some at fighting, some at telekinesis. Some Jedi have to work their butts off to gain skill. (After all, skill is about learning something, not necessarily being able to master it all at once.)

Whew! Sorry...I can say a lot when I get going sometimes.

It sounds like you have a lot of ideas, and an intriguing storyline. I hope you can get what you need and tell your story.

 

I take it that Jedi are allowed to marry. (Otherwise, how would you explain still having a Skywalker?)

 

Good point, Speldorian. Of course, it could have just been an interlude...not a marriage maybe. Anyway, I was just wondering how much like the old Jedi Order it is.

 

If they were just interludes, then how would she still keep the name 'Skywalker' ?

 

Maybe her mother was the Skywalker and she had her mother's name...or her father was the Skywalker and her mother named her after her father.