A Night to (Almost) Remember: (JA ) Humor - completed

LOL! I never got a chance to read this, but I've heard so much about it! more!

 

Wahoo!! I'd lost track of this at the end, and fell way too far behind to catch up (sadly) so this is great, Jemmiah! There are so many funny parts, that I can't even pinpoint just one

aa

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

*******************

Jemmiah, Sybelle, Letina and Kylenn walked quickly toward the department store. They could not afford to stop if they were going to beat Obi-wan there. And yet, Jemmiah did.

"What's wrong?" asked Kylenn.
"Nothing, there's just someone I need to invite to the Cantina-crawl." She replied, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Sybelle was the first to notice who she was talking about. A young blond haired man walked slowly in front of them, staring up at the sky. "Oh, Jemmiah, not him!
"Not Padawan Dull!" begged Letina. "Face it, Jemmy, he just doesn?t know how to have fun."

But they all knew it was too late. Jemmiah and/or Master Windu were always involved in one scheme or another to make Padawan Hmiol crack a smile. She walked toward him as her companions hung back.

"Hey!"
"Huh?" he looked down to see who had spoken. Oh, hi Jemmiah."
"Have you heard about the cantina-crawl?"
"Yeah."
"Typical." Whispered Sybelle. "I've never heard him say more than five words in a row."
"You ought to come." Jemmiah continued.
"Sure, whatever." He gave her kind of a blank look, like he really didn't care one way or another, then continued walking.
Alright, let's go." said Jemmiah as she rejoined them. "One of these days me and Windy'll wear him down." Then they took off again.

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

******************

?Force save us!? Simeon whistled quietly as the three padawans reluctantly edged their way through the ?Best Buy? department store, in what was one of the classier establishments in the neighborhood. ?I don?t believe that women actually wear this kind of thing.? He grabbed a turquoise chemise spun from Corelli-silk and rubbed it appreciatively between thumb and finger.

?Simeon!? Hissed Obi-Wan.
?What??
?Will you stop pawing everything you see??
?I thought Jemmiah was s?posed to say that to you?? He replied with a cheeky grin.
The look that Obi-Wan gave him could have fried a Wampa.
?There?s so much.? Abran frowned. ?Where on Coruscant do we start? Everywhere you turn, it?s wall to wall skimpies!?

Kenobi wished the ground would open up and swallow him. The present was a bad idea. Bringing Simeon and Jay was immeasurably insane. He?d never felt so utterly noticeable: three Jedi wandering about the ladies underwear section in a store. He felt as if everyone in the vicinity were staring at him. He looked up from the ground.

Everyone WAS staring at him.




And besides, Jay was correct. Where did you start? He turned to his friend.

?Help!? He swallowed.

?Calm down, Obi. You?re hyperventilating.? Abran frowned. ?It?s easy. All you have to do is glance at some of the stuff and then try and think what she?d look good in.?

Obi-Wan felt himself shake slightly. If the Council had made this one of the trials for padawans to take before achieving knighthood, Kenobi felt he would probably fail.

?This black stuff?s nice.? Called Simeon, holding up a lace bra.
?I think I?ll go off and die somewhere.? Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

********************

?There they are!? Sybelle grinned hugely. ?Have you any idea how terrible this looks! No wonder people are staring at them!?
?Where?? Jemmiah craned her head round a stack of synthi-silk under-slips. Her mouth dropped open. ?What the SITH is Simeon doing with that bra!?
?I?m so glad we brought the mini-holocam!? Letina gloated. ?This is just TOO funny. Kenobi looks like he?s given up the will to live!?
?Hey!? Jemmy frowned. ?He?s trying his best?no! Don?t you dare get me those?those?things! You could go sailing with them!? She sighed with relief as she saw Jay Abran replace them on the shelving.
?How come men don?t know anything??
?It?s biologically programmed into them?? Kylenn hazarded a guess.

********************

?Sith!? Simeon?s eyes widened. ?These are practically invisible!?
?Put them back.? Kenobi said levelly. ?You?re making an exhibition of yourself.?
?What color are you going to go for?? Abran asked.
?Red.? Simeon muttered. ?Definitely red. It?ll match the color of his face.? The two padawans laughed as Kenobi?s discomfort became more pronounced.
?You are supposed to be helping me.? Obi-Wan snapped. ?You?re as much use as a round dice!?
?Dice!? Abran yelled happily, as passers by stopped to look at the Jedi. ?That?s it! Get her something with spots on!?

*******************

?NO.? Jemmiah growled to herself. ?Don?t you DARE get me anything with spots!?
?Shh!? Hushed Sybelle. ?Pipe down, will you? I?m trying to shield us.?
?But it?s got more underwiring than a hot-rodder!? Jemmy?s eyebrows pleaded.
?Yeah.? Letina muttered, glancing at her companion. ?Let?s face it, underwiring is not something you particularly need.?
?A stiff drink is what I?ll need, especially if I have to wear ?em.? Jemmiah cursed.
?Keep filming!? Kylenn giggled.

*******************

?How about that?? Kenobi wondered, nodding over to a display with a mannequin dressed in what could only be described as, loosely speaking, a few scraps of cloth.
?Yeah, if you want her to look like a Hutt?s plaything, go right ahead.? Abran said cheerfully. ?It?s an image I could quite easily live with.?
?Me too.? Simeon nodded, holding up a V-shaped basque against his body.

?I?m going to be sick.? Jemmiah said.
?Not exactly Simeon?s style, is it?? Kylenn wondered out loud. ?What DOES he look like??

Obi-

 

I can just see their faces! LOL!!!

I know they were embarassed! My hubby's 30 and he still gets embarassed when he goes into stores like that.

 

Posted by SYBELLE:

*******************

"That is the funniest thing I have ever seen!" Letina laughed hysterically, almost falling off her chair with compulsive laughter as she tried to turn off the holovid. Sybelle's boyfriend Griff Rendar smirked at Jemmiah.

"Imagine how much I could make if I copied that tape and sold it." he commented.
"Don't you dare!" Jemmiah retorted loudly, leaning over and attempting to strangle him. Obi Wan walked into the lounge.

"Jemmy!" he exclaimed in a mock-astonished voice. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing" Jemmiah said, sitting up hastily. Letina and Kylenn tried their best to conceal the holocam and the holovid remote under their seats. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, you know, not much. Just...um.." Obi Wan muttered turning a brilliant crimson. "See you later" he said as he hurriedly left the room. Sybelle and Griff collapsed into hysterical fits of laughter.

***************************

"See you later babe" Griff kissed Sybelle on the lips as he stood up to go.
"I'll be waiting" Sybelle replied, grinning wickedly.
"Oh gross." Letina whispered, making gagging noises. Jemmiah and Kylenn giggled.
"Fine." Sybelle said, folding her arms and pouting. "At least my boyfriend is able to buy me underwear without making a complete exhibition of himself!"

 

Well that spoils all the fun of sending your guy into a lingerie store if they don't get embarrassed.

BTW, I know Victoria's Secret, she's really a man!

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

*****************

?Is he back yet?? Simeon asked cautiously as Kenobi poked his head round the entrance of his apartment.

Obi-Wan glanced round. He hadn?t sensed his master, but it wouldn?t hurt to be careful. He?d been caught out before, like the memorable time he?d come back from a day out with his friends just a tad later than Qui-Gon had stipulated. OK, three hours later than Qui-Gon had stipulated. His master had waited up in the dark, shielding his presence; so that when Obi-Wan had turned the lights on he?d got the shock of his life?

?It looks fine.? Kenobi checked the room a final time.

//Yes, of course. He?s hiding under the table// Obi-Wan thought. He really WAS getting paranoid. Not that he felt that it wasn?t justified: ever since he?d mentioned to Qui-Gon that he was seeing Jemmiah on somewhat more than friendly terms, Qui-Gon had become really strange. He?d get extra lessons, to help drum the importance of his training into his mind. He felt he was always under constant surveillance. And if he came back tired or dull in spirits after a night out on the town, his master would look at him as if he?d just announced he was giving his allegiance to the Sith!

Then there was the little matter of his choice in girlfriend. If Qui-Gon hadn?t actually come out and said that he didn?t approve, he?d made little secret of it. He?d been out with other padawans before, but never anyone who wasn?t force sensitive like himself. In a way, that was part of the attraction. It was refreshing to get another perspective on life, someone whose existence didn?t revolve around the force every waking moment. Or as Jemmy had put it, someone who couldn?t make rocks fly through the air every time they sneezed. He loved her irreverence, and always had.

Qui-Gon didn?t.

This apart, Jemmiah had always got on very well with Qui-Gon, in fact Obi-Wan had been slightly jealous of the way they?d hit it off so quickly, bearing in mind that it had been a good long time before Qui-Gon had accepted his own presence so willingly. They would tease each other unmercifully, which was not normally Qui-Gon?s style at all, and despite her jokes she remained covertly fond of the tall Jedi.

Things had altered dramatically between the two over the last four weeks, and Obi-Wan knew that Jemmiah had been very hurt by Qui-Gon?s coolness to her. And here he was, stuck in the middle.

His masters? words came back to him. Too young and too flighty.

He gestured to the others. ?Come on in.?

Simeon barged his way past Obi-Wan and Jay Abran. Simeon was two years younger than Obi-Wan, and sometimes his immaturity showed; yet Kenobi couldn?t help but like him. He could be annoying, yes, but he was basically a considerate person. He?d made a natural addition to the ranks of the healers.

Hapless. That was the word Obi-Wan thought of in regards to Simeon. He?d seen him eyeing a few of the female padawans, like Ambianca, Letina, Dimallie and Meri but nothing had ever come of it. His overly long padawan haircut always seemed to be unruly and a law unto itself just like its owner. Black, hooded eyes and furrowed brows tended to give the impression that there was more going on his head than there was ever likely to be.

Menali Jay Abran was a year older than Obi-Wan. Big mouthed, a show-off and full of self-importance, always quick to lead when others didn?t even want to follow. Tanned skin and bronze colored hair gave him the appearance of some sort of golden statuette of an ancient Corellian God, and at first Obi-Wan had felt rather inferior in his presence. However, his confidence and sense of humor made him likeable, in his own way.

Kylenn certainly seemed to think so, although she would never admit it.

?I need to eat something.? Obi-Wan said, making his way to the kitchen area.
?You ALWAYS need to eat something.? Abran frowned. ?I?ve never seen anyone eat as much and still have room for more.? He paused. ?Except for Reeft.?
?And Ocen-Bai Talz.?
?And Jodi Mullicar.?
?And Tanni Walesa.?
?And Ju

 

Posted by HEALER LEONA:

****************

"Ow, that hurts!" the small boy cried out in pain as Healer Leona dabbed the angry looking scrap with disinfectant. The initiate's knees were raw and bloodied, the result of the skin having been worn away by pressured motion.

"I'm sure it does. Maybe this will make you think twice about sliding down the banister again." she replied containing her amusement.

The spiral staircase in the center of the Jedi Temple had always proven too great a temptation for the countless children that that inhabited its confines.

It rose twenty stories high, looping down in a wide continuous coil and was the proving ground of endless dares and the cause of numerous visits to the infirmary.

"But the padawans do it all the time!" the boy vehemently justified.

Now when was the last time I had heard that excuse, she thought with mild irritation?

"And if a padawan jumped off the top of the Jedi Temple would that be cause for you to follow?" she asked in a demanding tone.

The boy's eyes violet narrowed in disbelieving shock, "No! Of course not." he stated.
"Then let this be a lesson to you. You should learn to think for yourself and not simply follow the actions of others. A Jedi's actions should reflect the ability to know the difference between what is right from what we want." she lectured sternly.
"Yes, ma'am." he lowered his head submissively.

The door opened and Simeon Cates walked through, carrying a small package. He paused scanning the room quickly before entering.
Seeing only Healer Leona attending to a small boy at the far end of the room a look of relief crossed his face.

"Master An-Paj has not arrived?" he inquired with a hopeful grin.
"No, the Force is with you today, Simeon. He was summoned to appear before the Council before reporting here. " The female healer answered eyeing the furtive manner of the padawan.
"What have you gotten into this time?" she asked suspiciously.
"Oh, nothing really." he said glancing around the room again. "I just didn't want to be late again, you know how often I get in trouble for tardiness."
"Yes, for that and many other reasons." she admonished good-naturedly.

Crossing to the supply cart, Simeon lifted a stack of wrapped medical instruments and placed the secretive package beneath them.

Satisfied with their not being noticed he crossed to the assistant healer. "What've we got here?" he asked motioning to the little boy sitting with his head bowed dejectedly.

"Spiral staircase." was all she said and Simeon nodded with understanding.
"Looks like you've already given him the standard lecture on jumping off the Temple roof." he said with an air of impudence.
"Why don't you get a couple of small Bacta packs." she suggested, "I've already cleaned the wounds."

Leaving the boy in the Padawan?s capable hands she returned to her desk to enter the treatment into her datapad.
"Yes, ma?am?' he replied dutifully.

Smiling down at the boy, Simeon opened two sterile packs and placed them on the offending wounds gently taping them in place.

"Did you forget to use the Force to slow your descent?" he asked quietly of his patient.
The boy slowly looked up at him, his eyes huge saucers, brimming with tears. He nodded wordlessly.

"How high did you start?" Simeon inquired earnestly.

The boy hesitated to answer, not wanting to get into more trouble then he was already in.

"Tenth floor." he murmured, his voice trembling.
"Tenth floor?" Simeon repeated. "That's impressive. I wasn't brave enough to try the tenth floor until I was years older than you." he confessed.

Instantly the young boy's face brightened at the surprising revelation and compliment.

Leaning in closer to the boy's head Simeon whispered, "You've got to focus on the Force by the time you hit the second floor or there's no way to slow down in time without injury."

The boy glanced immediately in the assistant healer's direction. Seeing her back to him the boy smiled widely, wordlessly mouthing an appreciative 'o

 

okay, that was weird how everythign was posted again.....

more!

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

******************

Knock-Knock-Knock!

?I?ll go, master!? Obi-Wan was out of his seat and away from his studies quicker than a Hutt at a slave girl auction. Qui-Gon was just about ready to pull his hair out. There had been about nine or ten of these intrusions on his privacy in the last couple of hours, and every time it was the same:

?Master Jinn, would you like to sponsor me for the Cantina?crawl tomorrow??

How he would have loved to tell them, in the politest way of course, to shove off.

The door opened to reveal the curvaceous figure of Jemmiah Gleshan.

?How?s the money scrounge going?? Obi-Wan?s face lit up with delight as she dusted the briefest of kisses against his cheek.
?I?m doing VERY well!? she grinned back. ?You would not believe the number of people I?ve managed to get to sign this form.? She waved the flimsy-plast under his nose to emphasize her words. ?For some unknown reason, everyone seems real keen to give me their credits.?

She craned her neck and saw the disapproving figure of Qui-Gon hovering in the background.

?How?sitgoin, Master Jinn?? she drawled in lazy Corellian.
?In basic, please, so that I may understand.? Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow.

She cleared her throat. ?How are you, dearest Master Jinn? It?s a frightfully nice evening, don?t you think? Brilliant weather, the flowers are singing, the birds are blooming and the permacrete buildings are simply marvelous, wouldn?t you agree?? She said in the precisely replicated tones of Obi-Wans? voice.

Kenobi shook his head. Qui-Gon just stared at her.

?Oh, not impressed, evidently.? She sighed. ?Can I come in??

Obi-Wan was about to say that given his masters? current frame of mind that might not be such a good idea, but she had already squeezed past him, making damned sure that Qui-Gon saw her brush his padawan as she did so. If he was going to be so stiff-necked, she was going to do her best to wind him up.

?Will this take long?? Qui-Gon asked.

She looked slightly hurt, but recovered her composure admirably. ?Two things,? she said, ?firstly, the all important list of who?s coming to the big event. Peruse it at your leisure.? She studied Qui-Gon a moment. ?How?s your sponsorship coming along, Master Jinn??

Qui-Gon, like Healer Leona before him, wished Jemmiah wasn?t cursed with that Corellian intuition thing. She?d been at the apartment for barely one minute before she?d put her finger on the source of Qui-Gon?s bad mood.

He had hardly any names on his list.

?Fine.? He said defensively.

She spotted his sponsor list on the table and picked it up.

?Is that it?? She said incredulously.
?Yes,? he snapped, snatching it back.
?You?re not doing it right.? She shook her head. ?Master Jinn, you have to sell yourself in these situations. I have,? she shrugged, ?and look where it?s got me!?

She brandished her sponsor sheet at him, so that he could witness the many names that she had collected. He glared at it and took it from her.

How did she get so many? He continued reading the top of the form?

All male sponsors will receive one kiss on receipt of credits, it said.

He stared at her coldly.

?What is this?? He pointed to the wording.
?Oh, that. Well, I s?pose that?s why I?ve been so successful in my sponsorship drive. Gotta give ?em something for their money, other than us just staggering about blind drunk from one cantina to another.? She smiled. ?It was Obi-Wans? idea.?
?Yours?? queried Qui-Gon. ?What sort of relationship do you two have??
?But it?s good!? Jemmiah blinked. ?This way we get lots of money. If we were relying on you and Master Windu to raise credits, the temple wouldn?t have a serviceable fresher, let alone a decent Hospital! And I?ve had loads of pledges. Master Fin-Tial said he?d love to give me a large donation,? she frowned, ?but his wife might complain if he did.?
Qui-Gon nearly choked. ?You keep away from Master Fin-Tial. He has a reputation for?that sort of thing.?
?What sort of thing?? She feigned innocence.
?Nevermind.

 

Posted by HEALER LEONA:

******************

"Sponsor list?" she repeated, trying to hide her surprise.

Jemmiah handed Leona a flimsy-plast. "Of course, you need to record the names of all those contributing. You did know that you didn't you?" the girl asked with a knowing smile.
"Well, yes...of course." Leona lied miserably.
"Well, you'd better get a move on before people go broke. I've already hit just about everybody in the temple" Jemmiah proudly produced her long list of names.

The assistant healer looked at it blankly, again wondering what she had gotten herself into.
That had been earlier in the morning and she still hadn't found enough courage to ask a single soul for sponsorship.

She had been about to ask Master An-Paj but Simeon had already beaten her to it and she felt somewhat embarrassed when he made a point of asking for her sheet in front of the padawan.

"Now I hope you plan on getting more names on this thing before the event." he teased signing his name on the very first line. "You've got to show these young folks how it?s done."

Great, she thought, a competition. Just what she was looking for.

By mid-afternoon she found herself walking the lower levels of Coruscant. She had some time to herself and most often spent it away from the temple.

At least out here she really was a stranger, and that fact was oddly comforting.

It really was a wonder that she managed to be a Jedi at all. She could thank the midi-chlorians for that, and of course Master Truson.

He had picked the shy, insecure little girl to be his padawan learner and apprentice healer sensing something in her she herself did not.

She had never thought about the healing arts but found as his apprentice a side of herself actually blossomed with confidence.

It was so easy to lose oneself in one's work and she always found ways to keep herself busy in that way.

If only she could find the same confidence in the rest of her life.

Soon she found herself in one of her favorite places, Narn's Caffe Cafe.

"A large caff and cocoa with whipped cream." she ordered from the man behind the counter.

Taking a seat on one of the high stools by the large window she sat looking at the flimsy-plast thinking about how was she going to get more sponsors when a familiar figure stopped in front of her waving.

Within seconds the scantily clad woman pushed her way through the door and joined her.
The blue-skinned Twi'lek embraced her energetically, "Jedi P'lila, what have you been up to?" she inquired gaily.

The Twi'lek woman was an acquaintance from time she spent at the free clinic on the lowest levels of Coruscant. There she treated any number of beings for any number of ailments, this woman being among them.

After being helped with her work related injury the Twi'lek had saw fit to hang around and help where she could.

"So," Leona asked, "are you still, er, working?"
"Like a Bantha dear, just doing what comes natural for a Twi'lek." she answered with lusty chuckle, tossing an errant head-tail over her bare shoulder. "And what pray tell brings you to the bowels of Coruscant?"
"A need for a walk and good cup of caff." Leona answered thoughtfully.

Spying the flimsy-plast, the Twi'lek snatched it up.

"What's this?" she asked as she read it.
"A cantina-crawl?" her voice filled with mirth. "Since when did the Jedi go for this sort of thing?"
"It's a charity event to raise money for the infirmary at the temple." Leona explained, trying to make it sound respectful.
"And you're going?" the blue woman's lips trembled lightly, a dubious smile held at bay.
"Well, it is for a good cause. I'm only trying to do my part." the healer answered demurely.
"And a small part it is" the Twi?lek, teased amiably, referring to the single name on the sheet.

Leona was about to explain her lack of sponsors when the Twi'lek's eyes suddenly brightened, her head-tails twitching excitedly.

"I gonna help you." she stated boldly, standing up, flimsy in hand.
"Where are you going?" Leon

 

Oh man, I've forgotten how funny this beginning stuff was. It's been too long since I've read it.

 

LOL, this is so great! So. . .c'mon Jem

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

*****************

Jemmiah marched onwards, a furious blaze of Corellian indignation shouldering roughly past everyone she came across on her way to the healers. Qui-Gon always brought out the worst in her, especially recently, and the mood she was in at the moment was particularly black. Five weeks ago, she?d have laughed off his dismissal of her. Now she took it as a personal slight.

She was a well-known sight in and around the Jedi Temple, and had been for the past six years. It wasn?t just her clothes, or sometimes a lack of them, which marked her out from all the other residents. She was one of the few people allowed on the premises who had no connection with the force and Jemmiah had always reckoned that made her pretty special.

OK. So he hates me, she thought. Qui-Gon hates me. I go out with his blue eyed boy for a month and he treats me like I fell out of a Nerfs? behind. Is that fair? What is so wrong with me? I mean, he used to like me and now he?s sitting up there regretting the day he ever brought me to Coruscant. This is the most Sithly day I have had in a long time. Firstly I get told by my so-called friends that I look like a doxy, then Qui-Gon warns me to stay away from lecherous middle-aged Jedi, like I have no common sense whatsoever! Then he as good as throws me out of his apartment.

Sith! Sith! Sith!

Do I get too angry sometimes? Qui-Gon thinks I do. He says I?m volatile and unpredictable, like I?m some kind of cataclysmic geological disaster just waiting to erupt. I?m just Corellian. Well, I?ll show him, Mister Frosty Jedi Master! You just wait ?till Healer Leona gets her claws into you on the Cantina-crawl! And I?ll be there to encourage her every step of the way!

Clutching her all-important sheet of flimsy-plast, she hurried towards the local torture center or the healers' domain, as it was correctly known. She preferred to call it the dungeon of doom. It was not usually a place that one would willingly walk towards of their own free will. Usually because you couldn?t walk in the first place?

Simeon, she thought. Cates will sponsor me. Heck, I?ll have to kiss him. The sacrifices one makes for the temple.

She gathered her courage into her hands. She WOULD do it. It was one more name that Master Jinn did not have on his list. It was one of the many indignities she was prepared to endure to get one over on the tall master who had slighted her so cruelly infront of his padawan. Determined, she lowered her head like a Nargotrian Bull and strode onwards. Let?s face it, she thought, it wasn?t as if the day could get any worse?

Padawan Healer Dimallie rounded the corner the other way, not looking where she was going. She heard Simeon Cates calling something at her and turned her head to hear what he had to say.

?What was that?? Leona's young assistant asked.
?I said, you shouldn?t have so many of those boxes stacked on top of each other.? Cates repeated as he watched the swamped, petite figure of the apprentice healer struggle with several large, awkward looking containers. ?You should only carry three at a time. If you drop them, An-Paj will completely do his top. The equipment?s really heavy. Not to mention expensive.?
?If you were any kind of a gentleman, you?d offer to help me.? She retorted somewhat breathlessly.
?I?ve got my three.? He said.
?I can?t see where I?m going.? She complained.
?Then put them down! Make a return journey. The way you?re going, you?ll probably??

There was an unexpected collision and a muffled scream from Dimallie, as she tried valiantly to stop the containers from toppling over. She?d run into something, she knew that much, but as she juggled with the boxes the top one flew open and some of the equipment tipped out.

?Simeon!? She yelled. ?Help!?

Cates set his containers on the ground and raced over to see if any of the fallen equipment had broken.

Dimallie steadied the remaining boxes, arms and legs splayed for support.

?Is it bad?? She swallowed, dreading what An-Paj would say.
?Sith!? swore

 

What a sweet thing to say Simmy!

Then again you did see the sexy undies, and you'll have to endure the wrath of Obi-Wan and Jemmy if she doesn't get out.

MORE!!!

 

Posted by SYBELLE:

******************

"Who are all these people?" Leona asked, staring at the long list of sponsors Sybelle produced.
"Griff's friends." Sybelle answered nonchalantly, gazing at her nails.
"How did you persuade a bunch of smugglers to sponsor a Jedi on a cantina crawl?" Harkley asked suspiciously.
"I have my ways." Sybelle smiled.
"Are these the same as Jemmy's ways?" Letina asked, with more than a hint of disapproval in her voice.
"Or worse." muttered Jay Abram.
"Excuse me!" Sybelle exclaimed. "I am not in the habit of selling my body in order to fund my drinking habits!"
"Sybelle, you aren't going to start badmouthing Jemmy are you?" Letina asked angrily.
"Girlies, please!" Abram shouted. "What we're really interested in is what devious trick Sybelle used to get all this money."
"Ok, since you asked." Sybelle muttered. "I simply promised them some information in return for the money."
"What kind of information?" Harkley asked.
"Access to the Temple's computer." Sybelle replied casually.

Time seemed to stop.

"What did you say?" Leona whispered into the stony silence.
"Only for a week. Then I'll change the codes. They need to find out something about trading routes." Sybelle looked round. "Why are you all looking at me like that? You don't judge Leona or Jemmy on their dubious sponsorship methods. Talking of Jemmy, where is she anyway?

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK

******************

"Well, how am I gonna manage this?"

Garos Hmiol sat in his quarters as he pondered the problem. Sponsors. Great. Jemmiah had not mentioned THAT. But then, she had been in a rush. Hmiol knew why. No one spoke to him, and he wasn't really much of a conversationalist, but he heard things. He knew most of what went on in the Temple.

"Let's see here, I can bet Master Biwo will, and maybe Master Windu will sponsor me..."

He knew that Master Windu and Jemmiah were always trying to get him to "have fun". He did have fun. Just not their kind of fun. Why was it so hard for them to accept that?

"Who else?" he asked himself.

He didn't go out much, but he took a walk when he was bored. Even then, he didn't talk to many people. This was going to take some thinking. Maybe now would be a good time for a stroll...
********************

The evening sky outside was aglow with thousands of ships. It was almost brighter than daylight. As Padawan Garos Hmiol walked along the upper walkways near the Jedi Temple, he considered his problem with much better spirits. How hard could it be?

An hour later, his spirits were right back where they had been. The few people he knew had not been willing to sponsor a Jedi cantina-crawl.

"HELP!!!" Where did that come from? "HELP!!!!!"

Turning the corner, he saw the source of the screams. A small girl was being carried away quickly by a man with a blaster.

"Shut UP, kid! We're too close to that Jedi place to be makin' noise. Another sound and I'll stun you again. Do you want that?"

The girls screaming stopped, but tears still streamed from her eyes. Hmiol was not really one to take center stage, but there wasn't anyone else around. And something had to be done.

"Stop!" Hmiol yelled weakly, igniting his seafoam blue-green lightsabre.
"Oh, great. Now see what you did, brat!" The man turned and fired his blaster. Garos let himself go into the Force, deflecting the blasterbolts in a quick flurry of blue-green light.
"Leave that kid alone!" he yelled, advancing.

He sliced off the muzzle of the blaster with a sweep of his saber. "And I mean NOW!"

The man looked at the ruined blaster in his hand, then to the girl, then to Garos' lightsabre. He turned and ran.

Garos turned to the little girl, who had hidden behind a trashcan during the firefight.

"Come out, it's ok now." He said in a gentle voice. She stepped from behind her hiding place slowly, looking at him distrustfully. He couldn't blame her.

"What's your name?"
"Le-Lelo Wuros."
"WUROS?!?" He exclaimed. "Is your father Duron Wuros?"
"Yes." She cocked her head to one side. "Can you take me home?"

***********************

"Oh thank you so much for saving my little Lelo, young man!" said Duron Wuros, head of the Wuros Corporation.
"It was nothing, sir." said Garos, his old habits slipping back into place now that he was speaking to someone old enough to fly a starship.
"Nothing, indeed! You saved my little girls life! How could I ever repay you?"
"Well, actually, I need someone to sponsor me for a cantina-crawl, and I was wondering..."

When he returned to the Temple, he had the signatures of half of the employees of the Wuros Corporation on his sponsor sheet.

 

Jemmy's gone on a reposting rampage!

COOL!

 

I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY!

 

happy Thanksgiving all!

 

Leona, I LOVE YOUR SIGNATURE! I'm kinda wondering if I'm the recipiant of the Obi-Shaped parcel.

PLEASE?!?!?!

********

Posted by JEMMIAH:

**********

An-Paj shone the little torch in Jemmiahs? eyes.

?Well,? he said dryly, ?she?s alive.?
?We knew that already.? Mumbled Simeon.
?Did you? That?s something, I suppose. Did you also know that I gave express instructions regarding the transport of the equipment? That when I say that under no circumstance were the containers to be carried more than three at a time, I actually mean it??
?Sorry, sir.? Simeon was contrite.

?No. I should think you?re going to be sorry when I?ve dragged Master Jinn down here and explained that his former ward has been half-killed?by two apprentice healers! For Siths? sake, we?re meant to get people better, not finish them off!? He frowned, running a weary hand through his white hair. ?I?d make yourself scarce, if I were you. He?s on his way down, and I can?t imagine that either of you two are going to be in his good books when I tell him what actually happened.?
?An-Paj, it was my fault.? Dimallie was distraught. ?It WASN?T Simeons? fault at all.?

The healer looked surprised. Simeon Cates, being chivalrous? Taking the blame for someone else?

?We?ll discuss this later.? He straightened up. ?The wound?s cleaned up, the Bacta patches are on. She?ll have to stay in at least a day so that I can keep an eye on her. That was a real belter to the head.? He glanced at the two of them. ?Severe concussion, I?d say.?
?Is that all.? Simeon sighed in relief.

An-Paj stared.

?I mean, I?m glad it wasn?t worse?? Simeon corrected quickly.
?She certainly doesn?t have you to thank for that.? An-Paj retorted. ?Nasty thing, head trauma. A few inches further towards her temple and I?d say you would probably have killed her.?

Dimallie swallowed.

An-Paj turned slightly, as he felt the familiar presence of Qui-Gon Jinn arrive in the ward. Sure enough, the tall figure appeared through the doors at the end of the elongated room.

?Ah, there he is. The avenging angel himself. I?d start a retreat of some description, if I were you two.?

The pair of apprentices glanced at each other, then nearly fell over themselves trying to flee. An-Paj could not resist a smile.

For a healer, he could enjoy watching some people suffer. Just a little.

Jinn spotted him and stalked across the length of the room, hands swathed in his robe. The bluish-skinned healer met his stare.

?Would you care to tell me what?s going on?? Frowned Qui-Gon. ?I got a call saying that Jemmiah had been involved in some kind of accident, which considering she only left my apartment twenty minutes ago must be some kind of mistake.?
?No mistake.? An-Paj replied airily.
?What happened?? The Jedi queried.
?A collision of sorts.?
?A collision?? Echoed Qui-Gon, letting the faintest amount of concern stray into his otherwise level tone.
?That?s right. Of the heavy-metallic-striking-the-head variety. She was hit by a falling piece of equipment as she walked into the medical suite.?
?What was the equipment doing up in the air?? Qui-Gon couldn?t quite understand.?
?I think you?d better ask Dimallie and Simeon that.? An-Paj grinned.
?And how is Jemmiah??
?Sedated. Probably for the best, really. When she comes round she?s going to wish she hadn?t. Oh,? An-Paj warned, she?s got a Bacta patch on the side of her head, so she probably looks worse than she should.?

They walked towards the bed she was lying in, with the privacy screen up.

?After you.? An-Paj gestured.
?Thanks.? Muttered Qui-Gon. He really hated these places.

Jinn looked at the unconscious figure, and sat himself down in the chair by the bed. ?How does she do it?? he tutted to himself. ?This girl is a trouble magnet. She once told me she was changing her name to catastrophe because of the amount of strife she managed to find herself in.?

?Catastrophe Gleshan.? An-Paj nodded. ?That?s good.?
?What?s the extent of the damage.? Qui-Gon asked wearily.
?Oh, she?ll have the headache fro

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

********************

?She?s WHAT!? Obi-Wan?s eyes flared with annoyance.
?Calm down, padawan.? Qui-Gon admonished. This was going exactly the way he?d expected it to go.
?At the healers?? Kenobi repeated doggedly.
?There was a bit of an accident, apparently, and she received a slight blow to the head.?
?How slight?? Obi-Wan continued.
?Well,? Qui-Gon thought about the options he had. Putting it off would achieve nothing, especially as An-Paj would no doubt fill him in on the details, ?A little more than slight, then.? He confessed. ?But An-Paj said that she?s going to be completely??

It was as far as he got before his apprentice bolted past him.

??Fine.? Finished Qui-Gon.

******************

?No! Absolutely not!? Healer Leona refused point blank. ?That is one thing I won?t do. I?ll look over minor misdemeanors. I?ll even hide your items of female apparel, Simeon, but I am NOT helping you to smuggle out a sick patient from out of this ward!?
?But she is going to murder me if I don?t.? Dimallie whined at Leona. ?And Simeon, too.?
?She is in here for a reason. To get better!? Leona shook her head. ?I cannot let someone who has concussion wander around the streets at night drinking like a fish. Which you know she does, when the chance presents itself.? She scolded. ?What if something were to happen to her? What would Evla say? Or Qui-Gon Jinn? How would Obi-Wan feel then? You haven?t thought this through, none of you!?

She smoothed down her healer?s garb, picking at creases that didn?t exist. It was an unfortunate incident, to be sure, but one that could so easily be made worse.

And Leona was not going to have that on her conscience.

?I know that this is a terrible thing to happen, and I also know how much effort the girl has put into this. But the answer is still a resounding NO. It?s more than my job?s worth.?
?We?re not asking you to lie, or anything.? Simeon pleaded. ?All we?re asking is that you keep An-Paj or any of the other healers who might interfere out of the way whilst we sneak her out.?
?I can?t just sit back and watch you bundle out a patient who won?t even be in a condition to discharge herself?It?s unethical!?
?Jemmiah?s mighty stubborn. You wouldn?t be able to stop her.? Cates rejoined. ?She knows her own mind.?
?Too well, if you ask me.? Muttered Leona unhappily. ?She?d be better of sedated for the next two days until the whole thing has just gone away.?
?Now THAT?S unethical.? Simeon grinned.
?I?m sorry. I can?t do it.? Was Leona?s final word on the subject.

Cates hissed in frustration.

?Well, that?s a big pity.? Dimallie said carefully, ?because if Jemmiah doesn?t go, then Obi-Wan won?t go either??

And if Kenobi doesn?t go, thought Leona-

Neither will Qui-Gon.

The thought of what would happen if she were caught abetting the two apprentice healers was not one she relished. Normally, there would be no contest at all. Now, however, she couldn?t stand the idea of not seeing Qui-Gon after all her endeavors to sort out sponsorship and all the pains it had cost her to pluck up the courage to sign up in the first place.

She closed her eyes.

Jemmiah knew about her secret regard for Master Jinn. If she didn?t help her out now, there would be nothing to stop her from spreading it all round the temple. She shuddered.

?I?ll do it.? She said suddenly.
?You will?? Simeon frowned.
?Just make sure you do this properly!? She gulped, already feeling guilty. ?This only happens if I convince myself that she?s well enough to be released, otherwise you can forget it. Qui-Gon would kill me if anything happened to her?? She blushed, and hoped she hadn?t given herself away. If she had, the others were not making a show of it.
?Secondly, I will be on hand at all times to keep an eye on her.? Leona stated. ?And thirdly, she doesn?t touch a drop of alcohol. It?s fruit juice all the way.?
?She'll go crazy?? Simeon began.
?Tough. I?m sure I have something in my medical kit to help cope with crazy people. If she doesn?t like the conditi