A Night to (Almost) Remember: (JA ) Humor - completed

I can't believe it!!

Every single time I read this story it fascinates me more. I enjoy it so much I don't wanna read anything else....
I wish this FanFic would be released as a new novel of the SW-Universe and not the NJO series. This one is much more enjoying *g*....

Up for the force's sake!!! Come on Jemmy, do it again....

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

****************

"I think we'd better be goin', Master Jinn." Simeon Cates stood up and then promptly fell back down again.
"Yes." Kylenn nodded hurriedly. She pushed Sybelle and Letina past him as quickly as she could, hoping to avoid the stern gaze he was subjecting all the padawans to.

"The Angel Flight." Grinned Jay Abran. "That should prove very interesting."

Qui-Gon watched as one by one they filed out, with the exception of Tanni Welasa and Jodi Mullicar, who had agreed to watch over Dimallie until Leona got back. Abran, however, halted. Clearly he did not want anyone to overhear his conversation.

"You might want to give this to Obi-Wan." Jay smiled mischievously, fishing into his pocket and taking out a scrumpled piece of silk. He placed the fabric into Qui-Gon's hands with a conspiratorial wink.
"What's this?" Qui-Gon frowned, unraveling the silk, until they fell back into the shape of two scrunched black stockings with fish scale patterns on them.
"They're his. Or rather, I think they're Jemmiah's." Abran smirked. "They're burning a hole in my pocket. I think, as you're his master, YOU should keep hold of them. After all, it doesn't seem that Jemmiah's able to do that. Not when your padawan's around."

He frowned. "Of course, they might be his. What he cares to get up to in his own spare time is none of my business..."

So saying, Jay Abran waved lazily and sauntered after his fellows, leaving a bewildered Qui-Gon Jinn to wonder if he was going to have to murder his hormonally charged apprentice, or a transvestite padawan...

"And I thought I'd seen it all with Xanatos!" Jinn gulped.

The urge to find Obi-Wan was no longer as pressing as before!

 

Jay you stinker!

 

Posted by HEALER LEONA:

******************

Noticing the beginning departure of the many Jedi in the cantina Leona hastened to make herself scarce.
She would have to wait until most of the cantina-crawl participants had left for the next scheduled stop before collecting Obi-Wan and Jemmiah. At the very least until Qui-Gon and An-Paj had left, though she certainly hoped the Master Healer would return to the temple, thereby eliminating half her problems.
Watching as the last of the stragglers left, some already not under their own influence she searched out Fizz, er, whats-his-name.

"Ya decide to stick round awhile an haf a bit o fun on yer own?" the man slurred drunkenly, staggering to her side. Putting his arm around her, Leona was assaulted by his very pungent odor, not all of it alcohol.
Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she squirmed out of his grasp. "No Mr. Mollop, I only need to retrieve the young people from the cellar and then we can be on our way."

"Sure you don wanna stay. I kin show you a real good time." he smiled, showing off his golden grin.
"Possibly some other time." she said politely, forcing a smile. Over my dead body, she thought to herself.
"Well, if yer sure?" he said disappointed, "they's down there." he pointed to the hatchway in the back then shambled back to the bar. ]
Opening the door Leona peered into the darkness beyond. "Obi-Wan, Jemmiah, it's safe to come up." she called softly, as if afraid to be overheard.

After waiting a moment without response she took a hesitant step down. Listening carefully she thought she could hear the murmur of voices.

"Jemmiah. Obi-Wan." she called again.

Still no answer.

Holding on to the banister, Leona cautiously descended another couple of steps, the darkness quickly swallowing her.

There has to be a light switch here somewhere, she thought. Holding her hand out, she felt along the wall as she traversed the staircase.

Finally her hand contacted something that could only be a switchplate. Sighing in relief she flipped the switch.

****************************

"Maybe we can just stay here." Obi-Wan said as he nuzzled Jemmiah's neck in the dark while his hands roamed freely.
"What, and miss all the fun." Jemmiah answered with feigned disappointment.
"We could make our own fun." he pressed himself close to her.
"And what do we do after those ten minutes?" she teased mockingly.
"Ten minutes, huh? Well I'll show you." Obi-Wan pushed her onto the table, falling on top of her.

Squealing with delight, Jemmiah half-heartedly began to wrestle him.

Suddenly the room exploded with blinding light as the lamp directly above them turned on.

"Hey!" Jemmiah screamed in shock.

Attempting to jump up from her reclined position, Jemmiah pushed Obi-Wan off of her. Knocking him off balance he rolled to the end of the table. Grabbing on to her to prevent falling off, he only succeeded in pulling her with him as he rolled off the table, landing on the floor with her on top of him.

"Sith!" Jemmiah swore angrily as her head collided with Obi-Wan's. "You're going to give me a concussion."
"You've already got a concussion." a voice reminded from across the room.
"Healer Leona." Obi-Wan whispered with alarm.
"Then I'll have a second." Jemmiah said testily, pulling herself off the floor, straightening her dress down with aggravated gestures.
"Just what do you think the two of you were doing?" Leona asked harshly, standing stiffly, arms crossed over her chest.
"Just a little game of blind billiards before we were so rudely interrupted." Jemmiah answered cheekily.

Obi-Wan rose from behind the table, his face flamed.

"It's time to go." the healer announced as the girl strode proudly past her.

Obi-Wan followed, somewhat more demurely.
"You might want to adjust your trousers Kenobi" Leona suggested, "the wind's up and I'd hate to see you in the infirmary for catching your death of cold."

 

(Leona, just thought I'd say that the previous post of yours is one of my faves. It never fails to make me laugh when I read it!)

Posted by JEMMIAH:

**************

?We can?t start without Jemmy and Obi!? Jay Abran stated hotly. ?Besides, I want to see if I can cheat and rig the game so I get to see Jemmiah in her new underwear!?
?You are a disgrace.? Kylenn frowned.
?And you have no sense of fun.? Abran replied. ?Are you sitting in on this one??

Kylenn didn?t particularly want to play at strip spin-the-bottle. It was initially going to be strip Sabacc, but ever since they had arrived at the Angel Flight there had been unseemly allegations of skullduggery and fixing regarding the Corellian deathmatch. Grudgingly, Abran had agreed not to use cards but to use instead a large green drinking receptacle that had until five minutes earlier been host to a particularly strong and potent brand of Fliggean Ale.

She dithered briefly before reluctantly consenting. Despite his threats, there was no way Abran could rig this thing without everyone knowing about it. If anyone so much as used the force to spin the bottle or alter its final position, every force sensitive person in the vicinity would know about it. There was no way they could cheat.

Was there?

?Good.? Abran?s eyes gleamed. ?Everyone?s playing this one. Even Mr. Interesting,? he pointed at Hmiol.
?Great.? Kylenn said dryly. ?I woke up this morning and said to myself ?I really must see what Hmiol looks like in the buff?. And now my dream has come true.?
?Look, nobody?s making you do this.? Abran reminded her.

She couldn?t refuse. Abran would never speak to her again. And that was the last thing she needed.

?OK, OK.? She grumbled. ?I said I was in.?

Abran smiled, and caught sight of Qui-Gon at the other end of the bar. He hoped that he wasn?t waiting to see if his padawan turned up and joined in the fun. That would REALLY put a spanner in the works. It was with some relief that he saw Mace Windu appear beside Master Jinn and pull him away.

Thank the Sith, thought Abran.

Now if only Jemmiah, Kenobi and Healer Leona would appear.

************************

?An-Paj told me you went off the deep end at Leona.? Windu stared pensively at his friend.

Qui-Gon said nothing.

?Was there a reason?? Mace asked breezily.
?She?s been aiding and abetting my Padawan?s dalliance with Jemmiah. I have every reason to believe that she probably helped her escape from the infirmary in the first place.?
?Now hang on, Qui. That?s a serious allegation.? Windu snapped. ?If she hasn?t had anything to do with this and you go around accusing her it could severely jeopardize her place with the Healers. Is that what you want??
?If it?s true.? Qui-Gon was unrepentant.
?All I?m saying is hang back until you know the truth.? Mace looked him in the eye. ?Isn?t that fair??

Jinn sighed.

?Alright. I?ll wait. I?ll give her the benefit of the doubt.? He raised his glass to his lips. ?But if I find out??
?Just try and enjoy yourself for a few moments.? Mace pleaded. ?Jemmiah and Obi-Wan will turn up. Why are you so jumpy??

Jinn played with his glass.

?Leona can?t be all that bad.? Windu tried to snap Qui-Gon out of his inscrutably dark mood. ?You see Sal-Fina over there??

Qui-Gon snorted. The last thing he really wanted to do was look at?

?Sith on a stick!? Jinn stared, open-mouthed, as he took in the sight of an extremely damp and disarrayed Sal-Fina. ?What happened??
?Apparently, your ex was being rather critical of you and your padawan, and Leona took it upon herself to stick up for you. She emptied a full bucket of ice over her head. Must?ve spent to much time hanging round Jemmiah!?

Qui-Gon blinked.

Why would she go to the trouble of defending him when he?d made it perfectly clear that he had thought her irresponsible and a bad example to the padawans? He felt completely bemused by the whole thing.

?I can?t say I?m completely disgusted.? Qui-Gon smirked just a touch at the sight of the obviously indignant Sa

 

*grin* This is too good. . wait no it's not. . .it can never be too good hehe! NEway. . .holo-filmed eh? This should get interesting. . .

 

cool, MORE!

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

****************

?Y?know, Qui, I really think we needed this.? Mace Windu hiccuped as he started on his sixth glass of Coruscant Hooch. ?Sith, this stuff?s strong.?
?Hmm.? Agreed Jinn, whose mind was wandering far away from the stilted conversation with his friend.

He had to admit that Alderaani Rum was doing wonders for him. He couldn?t remember how many he?d had specifically, but it was enough to leave him feeling pleasantly drowsy without being anywhere near drunk and out of control. He wondered where Jemmiah was. Then he wondered where his padawan was.
He hoped he was taking care of her.

Although not in the way that Jay Abran had suggested.

His face clouded over just a touch. When he gave instructions it was for a good reason, not because it made him powerful or simply because he WAS a Jedi master. To see his edicts flaunted and disobeyed displeased him immensely, but disappointed him even more. When he told Jemmiah to stay in bed it was for the sake of her own health.

To find out that she?d run off at the first opportunity and absconded with his apprentice did not make him feel any more inclined to go leniently on either of them when he caught up with the pair.

Jemmiah was young, headstrong, impulsive?and typically Corellian. The idea of her wandering about and indulging in alcoholic binges with a concussion was not the sort of thing Qui-Gon wanted to think about. He knew that Obi-Wan would look after her to the best of his abilities but would SHE let HIM?

Somehow, Qui-Gon didn?t think so.

Then there was Leona.

He knew he?d acted badly there. He?d been rude and accusative, throwing all his worries and insecurities back at her when she had been trying to help. She looked a quiet sort of person, but had been more than willing to defend herself when he?d weighed in with his criticism. Had she really told him that HE was the one at fault for his Padawan?s dishonest behavior?

She had, hadn?t she!

Not many people would dare do that! He was seen by many as a cold, frightening and humorless individual who treated his padawan as a lackey, rather than the son he had come to truly regard Obi-Wan as.

His treatment of Jemmiah in the last few weeks had been equally harsh, although he felt it had been merited, which probably hadn?t encouraged anyone to take a different opinion of him. In hindsight, it was almost amusing the way she had stood up to him. And then to tip a bucket of ice over Sal-Fina?s head!

He smiled into his glass of rum.

Perhaps he would seek her out at some point to apologize.

And ask her why she hadn?t doused Ambianca at the same time?

**********************************

Kylenn sat miserably as she watched the spectacle unfold.

Jemmiah?s left and right boots, her jacket, both earrings and the neck tie that had covered her ?trophy? as she had called it, were lying beside her.

Jay Abran was looking flushed but happy. He was missing his brown cloak, his lightsabre, his left boot and sock. He had the look of a man who couldn?t care less.

Meri was also missing her cloak, but fate had been kind to her thus far.

Simeon sat shivering in only his boots and tunic trousers. The top had come off long ago, much to everyone?s amusement.

?I didn?t realize how well developed you were, Cates.? Sybelle had purred, only to get a playful nip from her boyfriend.
?Pity Dimallie?s not awake enough to see what she?s missing!? Jemmiah grinned vampishly.
?Thanks, guys.? Simeon had blushed, waving away the whistles.

The bottle spun round and round, hypnotizing in its graceful dance, eventually stopping at Obi-Wan.

?Get ?em off, pigtails!? Meri crowed with delight.
?I thought that was Jemmiah?s line!? Abran chortled.

Kenobi rolled his eyes, and like Simeon before him, reached for his tunic top.

?Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!? came the frenzied cry, accompanied by loud clapping.
?Ok, Ok!? Kenobi laughed. He pulled the tunic off over his head amidst jeers and screams of delight.

?Whooooooooooo!? Meri rubbed her

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

****************

"A drink!!" cried Hmiol, still quite trashed, although his speaking ability had returned. "That's a great idea!"

Kenobi turned. "Garos, you've had enough."

"I'm fine!" he yelled as he stumbled toward the bar.

He was about to order a Riptide, but then he stopped himself. The man in front of him stepped away from the bar, holding a flaming drink. His eyes going wide, he turned to the bartender. "I'll have one of those..." he said.

The bartender gave him a strange look, but filled the order. Hmiol turned too quickly, making the bar turn sideways. His drink spilled all over an old woman behind him, setting her aflame. She cried out, then fell upon the rack of liquor, still screaming.

BOOM

The explosion ripped through the bar, shattering the glass walls. Finally, Garos' drunken mind clicked. Oh, the bars on...

"Fire!" the bartender yelled.

************************

The fire alarms startled Simeon, who was in the middle of removing his left boot.

"Come on!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, gesturing toward the fire exit behind them. "We've gotta get out of here!"
"What! Like this?!?" Asked Kylenn, pointing at their missing clothes.
"We don't have much of a choice!" Kenobi replied, looking at the flames as Hmiol ran up to them.
"What a drink!" He said, grinning.

 

Posted by LILITH DEMODAE:

*****************


Lilith and Krelo were enjoying free drinks at the Angel's Flight when one of the more obviously smashed young padawans tottered up to the bar, his attention diverted from the bartender by another patron passing him.

The two women were watching with amused interest at his fumbling attempts to set his unsteady hands on the bar's surface. The young man pointed shakily at the drinker who'd just ambled past and mumbled something low and slurred that neither knight nor smuggler could hear.

"20 creds says he doesn't make it half-way back to his table," Lilith stated firmly.
"I'll take that," Krelo jumped on the offer. "We Jedi are made of stern stuff," she added with a jokingly superior attitude.

They watched as the flaming drink was passed across the bar's surface by a tender who has hard pressed to with hold a snicker. Lilith was watching smugly. If he didn't pass out cold, he'd surely trip over his own feet long before he made it back to the table he'd come from.
Krelo was also amused, but a sudden feeling of dread washed over her and she straightened on her stool.

"Lil-" she started to warn her friend, but it was too late, the flames were already spreading.
"Time to bail, Rei'ch!" Lilith shouted over the tumult.
"But, shouldn't we hel-"
"No! Save your own butt, then see about saving someone else's." But Lilith had already betrayed her not-so-callousness by grabbing the first bar patron she could reach who hadn't moved immediately and jerking him out of his chair. With a shove she sent him on his way, and repeated the gesture with anyone that lay in her path to the doorway, Krelo mimicking her slightly to her right.

Both women made it out before the smoke got too thick to make breathing difficult and Krelo glanced back behind her, reassured to see the last few stragglers only a few steps from the exit.

A sudden strong grip on her shoulder turned the knight around, her heart pounding, already reaching deep into the Force to help whoever Lilith had caught sight of. The bleached-blonde's laughter stopped her cold.

"Kre, get a load of that!" she exclaimed and pointed to a group of padawans, most in a shocking state of undress hurrying into their clothes. "Strip Sabacc, or I'm a one-eyed Malastarian." she managed between gasping breaths.

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

****************

?Sith! What do we do now!? Simeon screamed above the wail of sirens and klaxons. The sprinkler system had come on very quickly, but with so much flammable liquid on the site it had proven a fruitless exercise. The whole building had shot up in a mass of flames and billowing black smoke within minutes. Flashing lights heralded the arrival of the emergency services, whilst outside people were being marshaled away from the scene of the incident.

Leona looked about her in desperation. They were standing amidst a mixture of frightened and curious onlookers who were blocking her view of the group she had been with earlier.

?What happened to Dimallie!? She grabbed hold of Simeon insistently, almost shaking him.
?Tanni Welasa and Ocen-Bai Talz got her out.? He pointed through the crowd to where the head of the tall Togorian could just be made out. ?See? Over there??

Leona?s first reaction was of immense relief, tempered by consternation. ?Why is she wearing only her slip and trouser bottoms?? She demanded.
?Er?pass!? Simeon coughed.

The smoke was still billowing across the road, the acrid fumes biting into their lungs with every breath.
?Did everyone get out?? Leona was almost in tears, but whether it was with the smoke or through realizing what a near call it had been, she couldn?t say.

?I?I don?t know.? Simeon found himself shaking a little.

He looked up at the dark, angry cloud that poured itself upward into the sky. It was so dark now that it seemed that night had been hastened into premature appearance.

?Hell, I hope so.? He muttered.

********************************

Qui-Gon was becoming frantic with worry. All the masters were trying to locate their padawans. Some, like Master Berlingside, had found their apprentice almost immediately. Qui-Gon looked over at his friend and could sense the man?s relief.

He himself had no such comfort.

Had Obi-Wan been in that Cantina? He had to find out.

A tearful Ambianca was being consoled by an equally emotional Sal-Fina. Qui-Gon spared a brief moment considering that his ex was perhaps not quite the monster that he portrayed her as.

All he could see around him was total chaos.

He pulled on the force, reaching?searching. Where was his padawan?

< Come on, Obi-Wan. Why don?t you answer me? >

He was met by an almost instant response from very nearby.

<Master! >

Thank the force, thought Qui-Gon.

<Stay where you are padawan, I?ll come and find you. >
<Yes, Master. > The voice in Qui-Gon?s head sounded both troubled and relieved.

Jinn wheeled round, only to run into someone?s back. The figure turned about.

?Obi-Wan!? Qui-Gon couldn?t help clasp a hand to the young man?s shoulder. His padawan flinched slightly, and even amidst all the turmoil Jinn could guess why.
?Don?t worry, Obi-Wan. They?ll be time enough to murder you for your disobedience tomorrow.? He said, although his tone held only relief.
?I?ll almost look forward to it after all this.? Kenobi gasped.
?Is Jemmiah with you?? Qui-Gon asked.
?She was.? Kenobi looked back to the burning building. ?We got separated?I don?t know where she is.?

Qui-Gon followed his gaze to the ruinous frame of the Cantina.
?Oh, please no.? He muttered.

************************************

?An-Paj!? Meri called, waving him over. ?Is everyone OK??
?Everyone that I?ve seen so far has got out with only minor smoke inhalation.? The healer said. ?With the rather unfortunate exception of Fin-Tial, who received an alcohol burn to, er?shall we say a rather delicate and somewhat apt part of his anatomy.?

Meri spared a weary laugh.

?Simeon!? An-Paj called out to his padawan. ?How are you??

The young man waved back. ?I?m fine.?
?Why are you missing your cloak??
?I lost it in the fire.? He mumbled.
?And why have you only got one boot??
?I lost that in the fire, too.? He sighed.
?Uh-huh.? An-Paj considered. ?And why has Hmiol only got his tunic trousers??
?He lost them in a game of strip Spin-the-bottle.? Sim

 

And I was just formatting the next couple of sections for my webpage! I love reading this story over and over again.

 

Yes!
Now I can read more!

 

ARGH! You had me worried for a second! And Qui-Gon knows what he's 'posed to be doin Ü

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

****************

?I AM KNACKERED!? Jemmiah sighed as she lowered herself into the seat.
?You have expressed my sentiments entirely, if in somewhat more Corellian fashion.? Qui-Gon replied as he also sat down. The little group of reunited padawans and masters had made their bedraggled way to the ?One For The Road? and were now sitting by the bar, attempting to drain the little Cantina of all its resources in as short a time as possible.

Qui-Gon looked at the girl, and stared at her eyes, as if searching for a weakness. ?The second you feel remotely dizzy, you get sent back.? He looked away, closing the matter.
?Yes. Thank you.? Jemmiah looked surprised.
?Then we?ll say no more about it.?

She smiled in relief.

?Until tomorrow.? He added.

This time Leona grinned.

?Who wants what to drink?? She asked, looking at Dimallie as she sat snoring in the corner of the room.
?I?ll have what. A glass of what will do me fine.? Jemmiah replied.
?Me too.? Kenobi repeated. ?Three whats and a Ginger and Lime cordial for the dog rescuer here.?
?Make that three bottles of Fire Scorch.? Qui-Gon said. The others stared at him in amazement.
?I came here to get drunk. I told you. If you decided to follow me at your own pace that?s up to you.?

He spotted Mace, who was sporting a wet cloth on his shiny head. There was something he really needed to talk to him about.

?I?ll get these.? Qui-Gon said to his three companions. ?Stay out of trouble for five minutes, can you?? He raised an eyebrow in the direction of his padawan. He knew that look of old. It said:

?Make hay while the sun shines, because tomorrow you WILL die. Very horribly.?
?Thanks, Master.? Obi-Wan lowered his eyes respectfully.

When he had gone, Kenobi put his arms around Jemmiah?s waist once more. ?You didn?t really go back in for that dog, did you??
?Of course.? She sniffed, offended. ?Well, that and the holocam. I gave it to Letina before An-Paj hauled me to my certain doom.?
?You saved the cam.? Kenobi stated.
?Of course.? She grinned. ?There?s already a lot of good stuff on it. There?s the whole strip spin the bottle thing, the Sabacc deathmatch, Hmiol setting that old lady on fire?and other things.? Jemmiah smiled at the memory of the shopping trip earlier.
?Other things?? Obi-Wan queried.
?Uh-huh!? She looked about. ?I need some fresh air. Want to join me?? She nodded her head through to the ground level and into the small, ornamental garden area at the back.
?My master will kill us if he finds out.? Obi-Wan shook his head.

He thought about it.

?He?s already going to kill us. How much more trouble can an individual get into in one day?? He smiled.
?Let?s go before we?re missed.?

********************

?Mace.? Jinn hissed. ?I need a word.?
?Ooooh, my head!? Windu groaned. ?I hope this is good, whatever it is.?
?It?s?kind of embarrassing.? He muttered.
?Oh? Speak up then. I like embarrassing things.? He rubbed his hands together.
?Do you think my Padawan?s the kind of person who would, how shall I say it, cross dress??

Mace threw his head back and howled.

?Obi-Wan Kenobi! In girls clothes?? He screamed in glee. ?Mother of stars! What on Coruscant makes you think that? No way, Qui. He just doesn?t have the hips!?

Qui-Gon produced the pair of stockings from his pocket.

?Oh.? Mace looked flustered.
?Oh indeed.? Jinn frowned. ?What do I do??
?Buy him a garter to hold it up with.? Windu replied. ?So the kid?s wearing Jemmiah?s clothes. So what. He comes back wearing her lipgloss often enough!?
?That?s not funny!?
?I think I could see him in fishnets, if I really closed my eyes and imagined.?

Qui-Gon glared.

?Maybe not.? Mace backtracked.

**********************

?Look!? Simeon pointed up at the holo screen on the cantina wall. ?It?s a report about the fire!?

All the masters and padawans stopped their individual conversations to look at the images being broadcast round Coruscant as they watched. It showed Footage of the emergency services tackling the bl

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

***************

Padawan Garos Hmiol, who was now quite sober, stared back at them. One thought ran through his head. Why did I go? Why did go? Why...

He had burnt down a bar. If Master Yoda didn't kill him, the bill would. And what would Master Biwo say?

"Oh, hell." he muttered. "I need another drink."

As long as I'm dead anyway... He thought, grinning, might as well make it a night to remember. Or to remember me by.

Within ten minutes, Hmiol was intoxicated again. Not enough to make him speak like Yoda (Yet) but just enough to give everything a happy edge. He was going to be grilled by the masters anyway, and probably transferred to the life of a Jedi Farmer, so tonight he could do...whatever he wanted. He could insult some big, surly alien. He could dump his drink on someone, probably Simeon. He could burn down THIS bar. The possibilities were endless. He smiled. The first and last night of fun in his life was about to begin.

 

Posted by JEMMIAH:

******************

?Isn?t it a coincidence?? Kenobi smirked.
?What is??
?That you managed to find the one Cantina in the area that has an outdoor garden.?
?Lots of undergrowth.? Jemmiah nodded.
?Plenty of space for a person to be unnoticed for a while.? Obi-Wan smiled.
?And so we will.? She replied. ?But you?ll just have to dampen your ardor for a few minutes more.?

Obi-Wan frowned.

?What are you up to, hmm?? He questioned her.
Jemmy returned his gaze. ?Why does EVERYONE assume I?m always up to something??
?Because you always are.? Obi-Wan answered, slipping his hands round her. ?Why don?t we play ?kiss, cuddle or torture?? I like that one.?
?That?s ?coz I always let you win!? Jemmiah shook her head. ?I?m going to place a call through to an old school friend of mine. There?s a little idea I?ve had kicking around in my head since this morning for a bit of a lark. I?m going to go set it up.?
?Don?t be long!? Hissed Kenobi. ?My master will realize we?ve both gone soon. And think the worst.?
?And be right.? Muttered Jemmiah. ?OK, handsome. Find yourself a nice spot in the bushes and I?ll be back as soon as I?ve talked to my friend.?

Obi-Wan smiled to himself.

It wasn?t too much to ask, was it? Some time alone with his girlfriend? The way his master carried on you?d think he?d never been young.

He sighed irritably and grabbed at a clump of plant stems that were in his path. He let go very quickly when he found out it had lots of thorns. Then he brushed a large overhanging branch from out of his face, only to bring down a large amount of water on his head. Damn!

Finding himself a nice, relatively dry spot, he settled in to wait?

*************************

?Ah, Jemmiah.? Qui-Gon said, placing a hand on her arm. She spun around in shock.
?You gave me such a fright!? She gasped, her hand on her heart.
?Why, what have you been up to?? The master frowned.
?That?s not fair.? Jemmy pouted. ?Everyone says I?m up to something!?
?And you are.? He replied, looking about. ?Where?s my padawan??
?Err?he?s getting some fresh air.?

Qui-Gon nodded.

?When he comes back, tell him his drink is waiting for him on the bar.? He gave her a final cautious glance before stalking off towards Healer Leona?

Well, she thought, things seemed to be progressing nicely there. Which is more than could be said for her own rendezvous with Obi-Wan?

She took one hesitant step towards the garden before a drunken Kryztan Harkley made an effort to drag her back towards the bar. Sorry, Ben, she thought. I have to see my prank through to the end, anyway. It shouldn?t take too much longer.

Casting a last fleeting glance backwards, she reluctantly allowed herself to be escorted by Kryztan towards her drink.

*****************************

Kenobi sat and waited.

And waited.

Come on, Jemmy, he thought. Where are you? It wasn?t that the undergrowth by the old permacrete blocks was unpleasant to sit amongst. Just that he?d expected not to be on his own?

He could tell he wasn?t the only one out in the garden. He didn?t know who it was, only that there were two of them, and neither of them was Jemmiah. And by the sound of their voices it sounded as if they were heading his way.

Damn! This was going to look rather odd. Sitting on his own, soaking wet, in a garden at the back of an old cantina. Deciding quickly, Obi-Wan elected to stay out of sight and hope they wouldn?t see him. He covered himself up with the grasses and pressed his back against the old permacrete block, as far as it would go.

The voices had stopped, but Kenobi could tell that they were extremely near by.

He never knew quite how close by until he realized, much too late, that they?d relieved themselves on him.

*******************************

Fifteen minutes had past, and Jemmiah was starting to get concerned. Ben still hadn?t come back. Kryztan still hadn?t gone away. Qui-Gon still kept darting over-protective glances at her. And her trick still hadn?t happened. She was just about to d

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

***************

Padawan Garos Hmiol, who was now quite sober, stared back at them. One thought ran through his head. Why did I go? Why did go? Why...

He had burnt down a bar. If Master Yoda didn't kill him, the bill would. And what would Master Biwo say?

"Oh, hell." he muttered. "I need another drink."

As long as I'm dead anyway... He thought, grinning, might as well make it a night to remember. Or to remember me by.

Within ten minutes, Hmiol was intoxicated again. Not enough to make him speak like Yoda (Yet) but just enough to give everything a happy edge. He was going to be grilled by the masters anyway, and probably transferred to the life of a Jedi Farmer, so tonight he could do...whatever he wanted. He could insult some big, surly alien. He could dump his drink on someone, probably Simeon. He could burn down THIS bar. The possibilities were endless. He smiled. The first and last night of fun in his life was about to begin.

 

Apologies for the double post. It did something a bit strange when I went to post this morning and I didn't notice at the time. Oh, well.

Posted by JEMMIAH:

******************

I?m going to get her for this, thought Jay Abran furiously. She is SO going to wish she?d not tried that!

He watched Jemmiah?s loping, swinging Corellian gate as she walked along the street in front of him. On one side was Kylenn Imri and on the other Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, hovering like an uninvited chaperone, as if to ward off any attempts on her person by the seriously annoyed Jay Abran.

Or was that the romantically inclined Kenobi?

Hari?s Tavern was not terribly far away from The One For The Road, and yet everyone seemed to be dragging their heels somewhat. At first Abran thought it was the shock of the fire and everything, until he realized that it was undoubtedly the small matter of the ?Truth or Dare? game that should have been played in the last cantina. Revelations of all sorts were going to fly, Abran mused, mentally rubbing his hands as they reached the doorway and then proceeded down the steps into possibly the dingiest little tavern that he had ever been in. Even Dex Berlingside wrinkled his nose up in surprise at the strong smoke smell.

If it was smoke.

Meri was the acknowledged Truth or Dare champion, and it had been in her honor that Jemmiah had included this short version of the game. You could never ask the same person more than once, which was just as well considering how many there were of them. This time, however, Jemmiah had surpassed herself. The game would include padawans and masters alike?

Possibly this was the real source of the discomfort that was lurking beneath the oh, so Jedi exteriors of the would be victims.

Jay Abran seated himself beside Healer Leona and Dimallie, who was showing the slightest of signs that she was still alive and about ready for another drink. Poor girl, thought Jay, she?ll have recovered just in time to play the final round of Corellian rules drinking Deathmatch back at The Hell?s Chance.

Jemmiah seated herself next to Obi-Wan and Kylenn. Opposite sat Kryztan Harkley, openly staring at her.
It gave Abran his idea.

If Jemmiah was ever foolish enough to pick dare, he?d dare her to kiss Kryztan.

Jemmiah was quite aware of the eyes upon her. Kryztan sat ogling her, and Jay, well; he looked downright set on vengeance!

Qui-Gon was also aware of three people staring at HIM. Healer Leona P?lila, somewhat bashfully it had to be said, his padawan who seemed distinctly uncomfortable with proceedings, and worst of all Sal-Fina who had an expression on her face that reminded him of a cannoid with a wasp problem.

Damn, he wasn?t looking forward to this. A person could give away too much, if he wasn?t careful?

Mace Windu was feeling VERY smug.

Let?s see that Kenobi boy get out of this, he grinned!

When they had all taken their places, some squashed up tightly together, some almost sitting on each other?s laps, a dubious silence loomed large. Nobody wanted to make the first move.

?Who want?s a drink?? Berlingside muttered.
?I do!? Jemmiah said.
?And me, thanks.? Kenobi replied.
?Me, too!? Sybelle chorused.
?I?ll get it!? Qui-Gon stood up, as did all of the masters.

They looked at each other, embarrassed, before sitting down again.

?I?ll get it.? Berlingside smiled in relief. ?You all start without me.?

Qui-Gon didn?t think he?d ever seen the man move so quickly.

After another moment of sitting facing each other, Healer Leona piped up:

?Oh, this is silly! I?ll ask the first one.? She looked about for her victim.
?An-Paj, what?s it going to be? Truth or dare??

The healer looked surprised.

?Why me? Please do remember that I am quite capable of making yours, Simeon?s and Dimallie?s lives quite intolerable tomorrow if I so wish.?
?Truth or dare?? She repeated.
?I can have you scrubbing freshers for the next half century.?
?Truth or dare?? She refused to be intimidated.

He closed his eyes.

?Truth.?

 

Posted by HEALER LEONA:

*******************

"Since we're all aware of your martial status, I've always wondered about the responsibility of caring for six wives" Leona stated with a sly smile, "what I'd really like to know is if you've always been able to live up to your obligations?"

An-Paj looked at the assistant healer questioningly then glanced around the very crowded table.
Many of the participants wore the same confused expression he did. It wasn't until he saw the few idiotic grins on some of the padawans that the meaning of the question registered.

Shooting a stormy glare at Leona, the Master Healer did his best to hide the incredible embarrassment he felt seeping into him.

Leona met his hard gaze, her own face bathed in calm serenity.

"Well?" she asked with a smile. Between the few drinks she had had and the fact that she was actually spending time in the company of Qui-Gon she was feeling pretty courageous. Even if An-Paj made good on his threats of retribution, seeing the dark patches of blue exploding on his face was easily worth it.

"I, ah..." he coughed uncomfortably, trying to delay the inevitable while dozens of eyes bore into him with excited expectation.

Dex Berlingside returned with a tray of drinks and before even being able to set them down, An-Paj grabbed for the tallest glass, not caring what it was, he drank it down.

"It was during my last wedding" he began keeping his eyes firmly planted on Leona. At least this way he could at least pretend there weren't quite a few others listening intently to his story.
"She was the youngest of the sisters, fifteen years my junior, you must remember. We're allowed two weeks of time alone, what you would call a honeymoon, before she would join my household. It was during these two weeks that I found myself having..ah, difficulty fulfilling my obligations as you so tactfully put it."
"How did you solve your little problem?", Simeon Cates questioned with a stifled smirk.

An-Paj tuned on the padawan, mentally marking him for future punishment. It wasn't necessary to answer but the amused looks on everyone's face gave him the desire to pass on some of the humiliation.

"Oh" he sat proudly upright "a little meditation and the addition of dietary vitamins proved quite the adequate solution as I'm sure Mace can attest to."

Mace' eye's went wide as everyone turned to look at him amid the sound of soft feminine giggles and masculine snickers.

An-Paj gazed around the table.

"My turn." he said, "Sal-Fina, truth or dare?"

 

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was GREAT!

Viagra? *snicker*

 

LOL! THAT WAS GREAT!

 

Posted by LILITH DEMODAE:

*******************

Lilith and Krelo sat at the edges of the group, fully ready to enjoy every second of this game. Lilith had never played, and Krelo hadn't played it since she was quite young, but they were both looking forward to the revelations sure to come out tonight.

They each had drinks and were seated far enough out that they could hear everything, but that no one would ever ask either of them to join the game.

Or so they thought.