Not so much of a sequel, but a sort of prequel. It?s a pass around idea based on a little section in ?Lions and tigers and padawans, oh my!? It?s a padawan excursion round some of the local Cantina?s, that the masters also get to go to. Uncomfortable with the situation as they might be to start off with, things will soon degenerate into total anarchy, and in many cases misery. Well, that?s the scene set. Invent your own characters and invite them along, or just add more woe to the lives of everyone we?ve already met, like Mace, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. You can do whatever you want with the story. Take it where you will, except remember that at the end, Obi-Wan has a close encounter with a fountain, Qui-Gon a little brush with the law regarding lack of clothing, and Mace has a date with destiny and a gardening implement?

Anyone want to add on?

Come on! Go mad! Extract your revenge on the Jedi. (If you haven?t already been doing so in your own stories!)
**************************

?I?m afraid it?s that time of year, my padawan.?
?Oh, please. Not again!?
?Any suggestions??
?Well??
?POLITE suggestions.? Qui-Gon Jinn emphasised.

Twenty year old Obi-Wan Kenobi mulled the problem over. He ran his hands through his short, spiky padawan hair cut as if that would somehow give him some inspiration.

?We could rob a bank.? He shrugged.
?Polite AND serious, if you please. Master Yoda wants all ideas set before him by tomorrow so that he can sift through the best ones.?
?It?s not going to take much sifting.? The apprentice grouched. ?Nobody is going to come up with any ideas because they don?t want to take part in these ludicrous schemes of Master Yoda?s. Not after the last two occasions. ?

Qui-Gon had to agree with that.

?I never knew that hair waxing could be so unbearably painful.? The tall Jedi Master shivered at the memory.
?We raised the most money though, master.? Obi-Wan replied. ?Lots of people turned up to see our agony. All the people you?ve managed to upset over the years were there!?
?All what people I?ve managed to upset?? Qui-Gon looked shocked.
?I?m just telling you what Master Windu told me. Master Berlingside said he holo-recorded it. He wanted to show the initiates what would happen to them if they misbehaved.?
?I?m glad our pain had some positive outcome.? Qui-Gon said dryly.
?Jemmiah certainly enjoyed it.? Obi-Wan muttered.
?And this is the girl that you?ve chosen to go out with? A professional torturer??

He grinned.

?It?ll end in tears, padawan. She?s too young and too flighty.?
Obi-Wan munched on his toast. ?I like young and flighty, master.?
?Yes.? Qui-Gon studied him a moment, watching the seemingly innocent blue-green eyes light up at the thought, ?That?s what I?m afraid of.?

?We could always have another??
?NO! We are not under ANY circumstances having another sponsored kiss!?
?But it was really successful!?
?You must be joking, padawan! After last year? All our medical bills ended up costing the healers more than we managed to raise for them. An-Paj looked set to have us all castrated!?
?You see, master? This is my entire point; whenever we do something charitable, the whole thing goes belly up!? Obi-Wan stated, spraying crumbs all over the work surface.
Qui-Gon glared. ?Why don?t we have a sponsored eat? That way I could cheerfully rely on you to rob Coruscant of its entire wealth!?
?I?m hungry.? Obi-Wan complained.
?You are ALWAYS hungry. I?m going to have to take you down to An-Paj and get you checked out for worms.?

Obi-Wan?s eyes grew as big as the plate he was staring at, and hurriedly put back the next piece of toast he had selected to eat.

?I don?t know what we are going to do.? Qui-Gon said morosely.
?We could ask Jemmiah.? Kenobi?s voice lifted hopefully.
?No. It?ll probably involve naked mud wrestling in Chancellor Valorum?s garden.

Again, he noticed Obi-Wan?s smile creep back on his face.

?Please, master. She has some great ideas. You would have found the body wax a real laugh if it had been Master Windu. Or Master Billaba.? He added deviously.

Qui-Gon blinked. There was an interestin

 

Sybelle stalked into the refectory looking distinctly irritated. She wandered over to the only occupied table and slumped into a chair next to Jemmiah. She rested her head in her hands and groaned.
"Sybelle." Obi-Wan smiled. "So nice of you to join us. I didn't think you got up until the rest of us had gone to bed."
"Not funny" Sybelle murmured. She sat up and collapsed backwards dramatically in her chair. the others sighed inwardly.
"oh, I am so tired!" she exclaimed, running a hand through her tousled black hair."
"Don't tell us, you've been with that boyfriend of yours again." Jemmiah sighed.
"When are you going to tell your master thay he's an infamous smuggler?"Hartley asked.
"How about never?" Sybelle retorted. "And it's none of your business either. What are you up to anyway?"
"Sponsored cantina crawl." Obi-wan told her. "Want to come?"
"You mean I get paid to drink?" Sybelle asked. "Count me in!"

 

?Mace!? Hissed Qui-Gon Jinn as he saw his friend come out from the council chamber. ?What kind of mood?s he in??
?By ?he? can I assume you are referring to our esteemed and illustrious Master Yoda? He who really should be obeyed at all times? He who is sitting in there banging his stick against the floor because nobody has put forward a decent suggestion for this years annual fund raising bash??
?Ah.? Qui-Gon muttered.
?Do you have any ideas?? Mace?s hopeful expression tweaked Qui-Gon?s conscience.
?I was going to ask you the same thing.? Jinn shook his head.
?Well, what are we going to do?? Windu began to get slightly flustered. ?I can?t go back in there without a serious proposal. He?s threatened to make us sit facing the wall, wearing a dunce cap unless we find a solution!?

The image made Qui-Gon laugh. The whole council. He could just hear his former master?s voice saying; ?Now, stay there you will, until idea you have.? A smile broke out on his face.
?What are you looking so chirpy about?? Windu blinked.
?It?s just at times like this, I realise why I never wanted to be on the council.? Chuckled Qui-Gon.
?Yeah, yeah.? The Jedi master scowled. ?But what do we do??

Qui-Gon shrugged.

?How about we stage a singing contest. We did one about seven years ago, remember??
?Oh, I remember. Unfortunately, so does everyone else. Master Yoda?s rendition of ?Knight life? has left an indelible impression on everyone who had the misfortune to hear it.? Mace rolled his eyes.
?Well, it?s going to be that or nothing.? Qui-Gon folded his arms. ?Nobody else will come up with anything remotely imaginative. Except possibly Jemmiah, and frankly I am shuddering at the thought of what she has got planned.?
?Right! Fine! I give up!? Windu threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender. ?Singing contest it is. Although you might well live to regret it. I?ll go and tell Yoda the good news.?
?What news is this?? came a voice from behind.
?Master!? Qui-Gon spun round. Sith! How did he ALWAYS manage to do that?
?We?we never knew you were there, Master Yoda,? Mace felt as if he had been caught pinching candy.
?No.?? Yoda shuffled between them. ?Then practise more, you should.? He tapped Qui-Gon on the leg. ?A suggestion you have, my padawan.?

Qui-Gon gritted his teeth. He hated being addressed as padawan, especially taking into account the ludicrous height difference between former master and apprentice.

?I think you might have heard my suggestion, master. I put forward the idea of a singing??
?Yes!? Yoda banged his stick down on the ground. ?Good idea, this is. Accept it formally we shall.? He walked slowly back towards the council chamber. ?Come, Master Windu. Speak to the others, we shall.?
Looking over his shoulder, Yoda called out ?Knew that clever idea, my padawan would have.? He said, emphasising the word ?padawan? out of sheer devilment.

?He did that on purpose.? Growled Jinn.
?It?s not time to argue. Let?s go and get this thing confirmed before he starts singing another chorus of ?H-A-P-P-Y, I am.?
?How do you know the other?s will except it?? Qui-Gon asked.
?What, are you serious? Stay in there a moment longer than we have to?? Mace lowered his voice. ?That troll knows he?s got us by the..?

?Master Jinn!? The lilting Corellian voice that Qui-Gon knew only too well accosted him just as Mace?s gestures were on the point of becoming graphic.
?Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.? Qui-Gon said out the corner of his mouth, as a delegation of teenage padawans lead by Obi-Wan and young Jemmiah Gleshan strode towards him purposefully. ?I?ve just saved your neck.? She stopped as they reached the council chambers. ?Did we make it on time??
?On time for what?? Asked Mace.
?Our idea for the temple fundraiser. It?s a beauty, too.?
?I?m sure it is,? Qui-Gon replied with some small satisfaction, ?But I?m afraid you?re too late. Master Yoda?s decided to go with the idea of a singing night.?

There was a concert of small groans.

?Please tell me you?re kidding.? Jemmiah said in disbelief. ?If he sings H-A-P-P-Y, I am? once more, I shall be forced to join a m

 

Adi Galia stood by the window, staring out at the setting sun, a resigned expression on her face. The door slid open, and sybelle almost flew into the roon.
"Am I..."
"Late?" her master finished. "Yes. I wouldn't mind an explanation of what you were up to."
"Me?" Sybelle asked pointlessly, since there was no one else in the room. "I was...um..."
"Practicing your singing for the fundraising event?" Adi Galia asked, reising her eyebrows.
"Right!" Sybelle smiled. "Do you mind if I skip class today? I have a lot to be getting on with. You know, with the singing..."
It wasn't working.
Adi placed her hand on Sybelle's shoulder.
"You have to start taking this seriously." she told her. "Take the easy way out, and it will lead straight to the dark side."
"Dark side. Right. Got it. Can I go now?" Sybelle asked impatiently.
Adi shook her head as Sybelle left the room. There was no hope for some of these students.

****************

"I'm so BORED!" Sybelle complained as she and the other padawans sat in the refectory reflecting on their day.
"You skipped every class you had today. How can you possibly be bored?" Jemmiah asked.
"Hyou ever thought that this Jedi thing is possibly not for you?" Obi Wan asked.
Sybelle glared at him and sipped her drink.
"Jemmiah, how's planning for the Cantina crawl going?" Hartley asked, tactfully trying to change the subject. Jemmiah rolled her eyes.
"Qui Gon's coming, and he's threatening to bring Master Yoda."
Sybelle's eyes gleamed.
"This should be fun." She giggled.
"Sybelle," Jemmiah asked, "What exactly are you planning to do?"

 

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock*

"MMMPH!"

*KNOCK!--KNOCK!--KNOCK!*

"Go away, I'm sick! *SNUUURRF*

Jay Abran slowly creaked open Kylenn's door and peered inside. "Oh please," she groaned, "have some respect for the dead!"

His friend was curled up on her bed, completely cocooned in a blanket save for one stray foot poking out. An impish grin spread across his face as he silently crept up to the end of the bed, eyeballing her poor, unsuspecting toes....

"TICKLE-TICKLE-TICKLE!!"
"AAAAGH!"

Struggling to unwrap herself from the blanket, Kylenn grabbed her pillow and took a wild swing at Abran, not even coming close to hitting her target. A look of mock disgust crossed her face as he just stood there and laughed.

"Oh, you think this is funny. Just wait until _you_ come down with the Corellian Death Flu..."
"If your ideas of revenge are as good as your aim, I don't think I have much to worry about."

She flopped back down, pulled the blanket over her head and groaned. Jay crawled up on her bed and settled himself in between Kylenn and the wall.

"Hey, move over," she protested. Abran scooted himself away from the wall nearly pushing his friend off the bed. "No, you dweeb, the _other_ way."

"Oh, pardon me."

*sigh*

"Alright, Jay, now that you've made yourself comfortable," Kylenn grumped, "is there a special reason why you stopped by or is this just another random act of torture?"

He smacked his hand over his heart, "Oh, I'm wounded...help me!" She giggled while Jay started thrashing around, "everything is going black...it's too late to save me now...I see Yoda! Wait, he's not dead. That doesn't count..."

Kylenn laughed.

He let out a dramatic gargle and went completely limp.

"He's dead, hooray! Maybe now I can have a normal, well-adjusted life."

Jay "resurrected" himself and gave his good friend's braid a hearty yank. "So, anyway, before my fragile little ego was shattered, Sybelle and Kryztan missed you this morning and wanted me to check in on you to make sure you didn't croak out to the Force or anything. And I wanted to inform you we've decided what this year's fund-raising activity is going to be..."

[Moments later]

Kylenn's eyebrows shot up, "a cantina crawl? Oh, brilliant. We already have such a bad drinking reputation that some of the locals call us the 'Red-Eye Temple.' We'd better notify the officials so they can begin evacuating the city."

"Aww, c'mon! It'll be fun!" Jay playfully poked Kylenn in the ribs. "Besides, alcohol is great for killing germs; it might help get rid of that nasty flu bug of yours."

Kylenn snurfled again. "So, who is going along on this proposed misadventure?"

"So far, we have..." Jay began rattling off the names of Masters and Padawans who have agreed to take part, "...and the gruesome twosome, Obi-Wan and Jemmiah."

"Obi and Jemmy? If they want to get into trouble all they have to do is walk down the street. Anyone else?"

"Last and least, Simeon Cates."

"Cates? Sith! Forget walking down the street, he meets trouble just opening the front door! I have a bad feeling about this..."


[This message has been edited by Jedi Kylenn (edited 04-19-2000).]

 

Hi. Your idea has really tempted me. I'm not sure if I can keep up with your run-ons, they're so good, but since I'm having trouble with my own story maybe a change of scenery may help. Well, here goes nothing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Healer Leona walked into the infirmary in search of the Master Healer An-Paj.

Spying him at his desk in the far corner, she strode to his side.

"Slow day?" she asked, making idle conversation.

"Heaven I would call it." he replied his attention on the medical chart he was busy making entries on. "You know" he said, turning toward her, "it's been almost two weeks since Padawan Kenobi has been here. I do believe that's a record."

"That boy certainly seems to have the lost unusual luck." she agreed.

An-Paj gazed at the woman, there was obviously something on her mind.

"Is there something you need?" he asked kindly. Leona had worked under him for the last ten years. She was smart and good-hearted, two fine traits for a healer but she was insufferably shy.

When it came to the treatment of their Jedi patients she was easily able to interact, providing both expertise care and a genuinely caring bedside manner. This was as long as she was in her Healer capacity.

Though she probably knew almost every Jedi in the Temple, they all came through here at one time or another (some like Kenobi seemed to set up house here) he wasn't aware if she had any real friends at all.

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd heard about the latest charity event?"

"Oh, yes" he said with a wide smile, "a number of Masters have already been in looking for the latest in ear plugs. I, of course, suggested Alderean silk fiber. It's almost imperceptible and will cost them alot less."

"The singing contest is only half of it. Before that they've sponsered a catina-crawl." she said, surprised that the news hadn't already reached him.

"A what?" he asked harshly.

"You know, where they go from one bar to another drinking." Leona explained.

"I know what it is. I'd just like to know how Master Yoda approved such an event." He was already unconsciously taking stock of every headache remedy, stomach pump and emesis basin they had.

"This could possibly turn into a worse disaster then the obstacle games." he shuddered at the thought.

Seeing her chance Leona casually made her suggestion.

"That why I was thinking of signing up for it." she said hesitantly.

An-Paj gazed at the petite woman, his brows creased.

"See, I thought that, um, maybe if a healer were to accompany them, strictly as a chaperone, of course, I could see to it that none of the participants overindulged or if they become sick are treated before they really need the infirmary."

An-Paj stared intently at the woman, he didn't need to be a Jedi Master to see there was something else behind her altruistic gesture.

"Can I ask who's already signed up for this jaunt?" he already had a good idea who was on that list.

"I overheard some of the padawans taking and I believe I heard Simeon Cates, Jay Abran, Jemmiah and a few others, if their Masters agree to it."

"Jemmiah, huh?" That would mean Kenobi would be going and the only way his master would probably allow it was if he also were in attendence. Now he saw why the sudden interest in the annual charity event.

"Well" he said with hidden amusement, "perhaps, if you think it wouldn't be too much trouble..." he granted her an opening.

"No, no Master. It would be no trouble at all." she replied hastily, her hand timidly twirling the loose ends of the long braid of hair thrown over her shoulder

"Fine then. I'll put together a little medpac. Just stop by to pick it up before you leave." An-Paj resumed his work, listening to the quick steps as Healer Leona left.

A couple drinks should do the job to loosen that one up, he thought to himself, the Force help Master Jinn.

[This message has been edited by HealerLeona (edited 04-18-2000).]

 

Jesus, how very interesting! What a constellation: Jemmiah, Jedi Kylenn, Sybelle, Healer Leona! It?s definitely hard to starboard, without any ?almost?? So I am laughing hard, my mind is in some kind of an iceberg-crash, and I?m singing loudly ?Every knight in my dream?? Singing night, isn?t it a fresh idea, huh? Dear Healer Leona, send me a couple of Temple psychiatrists by e-mail, will you! It seems to me, I need your professional help? Oh, wait wait! There?s much better way to treat me: just KEEP POSTING! Thank you, all of you!

 

Knock-Knock!

?Urgh?Can?t a girl get some peace??

Knock-Knock-Knock!

?I?m STILL dying.?

Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock!?

?I was dead earlier. And I?m still dead now?Oh, Sith! Just a moment!? Kylenn snuffled in annoyance. She pulled her dressing gown from off her bed, wrapping it round her. She hoped that whoever it was had a good explanation for disturbing her, just as she was beginning to drift off?

?OK.? She replied feebly. ?Come in.?

Slowly, the door opened to reveal the curiously hesitant figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Complete with handkerchief over his nose and mouth.

?Is it safe?? He mumbled.
?Oh, great. Just what I need. Another comedian.?
?I don?t want any germs. Qui-Gon will have me down the healers before I could say AAAACCHHOOOO!?
?You should have thought about that before you came in here.? Kylenn paused to blow her extremely reddened nose. ?Is this a social visit, or do I sense an ulterior motive lurking behind that boyish exterior??
?Can I sit down?? Obi-Wan ventured.
?Sure,? she shrugged, ?Pull up a germ and park your backside.? She smiled inwardly as Obi-Wans? discomfort became more evident.
?Hells? teeth, you look dreadful!? Kenobi frowned.
?Ah. I see you?ve been to the Jay Abran charm school.? Kylenn stifled a cough. ?To what do I owe this honor??
?Er?? Obi-Wan pulled the handkerchief down from his mouth. ?It?s a bit, well, delicate.?

Kylenn arched an eyebrow. This was interesting.

?I mean, I wasn?t sure?you know.?
?No, Obi-Wan, I don?t know. And if you don?t find a way to tell me, then I?ll never know, will I??
He swallowed. ?It?s a bit personal.?
?This wouldn?t be about Jemmiah, perchance?? Kylenn enquired.
Obi-Wan sat back as if shot. ?How did you know??
?Oh, come on! You?ve gone as red as a Tattooine sunset!? Kylenn watched his face go even more crimson. ?Come on, tell Auntie Kylenn everything!?
?Well,? Kenobi looked endearingly confused, ?You?re, er..a girl.?
Kylenn feigned shock. ?I am?? She pretended to look down the front of her pyjamas. ?Yeah, certainly looks that way. Carry on.?
?You know what I mean. You have a female perspective on things.?
?I suppose I do. Can?t say I?ve ever considered it before.? She frowned, scrunching up her nose. ?This isn?t the ?Big Talk?, is it? I thought your master was meant to take you to one side and discuss that with you when you were thirteen or so.?
?No!? Huffed Obi-Wan. ? Well, not exactly. I need your advice.?
?On what??
?I want to get Jemmy a present. You know. Something feminine.?
?Oh, is that all.? Kylenn looked crestfallen. ?I thought I was going to hear some juicy piece of news.?

Obi-Wan looked at the floor.

?I?m sorry,? she half coughed/half laughed. ?Are you sure Jemmiah would like something feminine? Why not get her some flowers??
?Flowers.?
?No? What?s wrong with that??
?She?s not a flowery person.?
?Then what kind of person is she? Obi-Wan, as willing as I am to help, I really don?t know her as well as I would like. Nobody knows her better than you or Master Jinn. She lived with you briefly, didn?t she? When she was ten??
Obi-Wan nodded.
?Why not ask Qui-Gon??

The strangulated cry that came from Kenobi?s throat convinced Kylenn that perhaps the idea had not been well received.

?What sort of ideas did you have, then?? She asked gruffly, her head beginning to throb once again.
?Well. Clothes.?
?Clothes?? Kylenn stared intensely.
?Of the?you know?intimate variety.?

Kylenn threw her head back and nearly choked with laughter, tears streaming down her face.
?Obi-Wan Kenobi, are you talking about getting her some naughty undies?!?? She wiped her eyes, a huge grin on her face.
?Shush!? Hissed Obi-Wan guiltily, looking round as if he expected Qui-Gon to appear in the room.
?Oh, Obi-Wan!? Kylenn smiled, ?What?s wrong with that? It?s a lovely idea. She?s bound to like it.?
?You think so?? Kenobi frowned in earnest.
?Sith, yes. I would, if ever I had the chance to wear ?em.?
?Really??
?YES!? She grinned. ?How long have you two been an item, as it were? Three weeks??
?Four.? Obi-Wan smiled.
?Ooooh. That?s the way the winds blowing, is it?? She tormented him

 

Loving it, Loving it!

I love these Temple outings!

 

Jemmiah I hope you don't mind me borrowing you for a bit.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leona P'lila stood outside the cafeteria as the young people filed past. She waited till she saw a girl not dressed in the traditional Jedi attire. The girl was certainly not hard to miss, there was more of her showing then clothes.

Leona debated with herself if she should really do this, it was so unlike her. Finally deciding it wasn't a good idea she was already turning to leave when the girl noticed her.

"Healer Leona, are you looking for someone?" Jemmiah asked.

"Well, ah, actually I was looking for you." she said, now feeling trapped.

"What has he gotten himself into this time?" the Corellian girl asked rolling her eyes.

"Ah, who?" Leona inquired somewhat perplexed.

"Why Obi-Wan, of course. The only time I see you healers is if someone's hurt. Now I know I'm not, so the logical assumption would be Obi."

"Oh, I see" Leona chuckled "yes I suppose that would be logical, given the amount of time he spends with us."

"It isn't Master Jinn, is it?" her sly smile belying the concern in her voice.

"No actually it's about the...ah..charity event." Leona tried not to sound as nervous as she felt.

"Oh, you're nnot gonna tell me what a bad idea it is, are you?" Jemmiah frowned with distaste.

It semmed most of the adults were dead set against it. She couldn't understand why these Jedi were so down on having a good time. She knew of Corellian Jedi who knew how to party.

"Umm, no. I've already signed up to go and I was wondering if...um if you knew who else might be going."

Jemmiah cocked an eyebrow at her. "Well, I know Mace Windu told me he wouldn't miss it and he's talked Qui-Gon into going.

Jemmiah didn't miss the small smile on the healer's face at the mention of Obi-Wan's master.

"And of course, Master Berlingside and I believe Adi Gallia..."

"Oh, Master Gallia's going?" the healer's face fell with such swiftness it would have been funny if not for the look of despair that replaced it.

"You're interested in Qui-Gon." Jemmiah stated blatantly.

"What...no...no of course not." Leona stammered, her face blushing brightly. "Why would you think that?" She badly wished she could turn and run away.

"I've noticed you're always in the infirmary when he's there" she paused as though in thought, "but I don't think I've ever seen you talk to him." She tilted her head expectantly, looking at the older woman.

Why did this darn girl have to be so observant, the healer thought. What was she suppose to say now. If she tried to deny it it would only make her look more guilty.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with that" the girl cajoled, "he's ok for an old man."

"Qui-Gon Jinn is not an old man." Leona stated defensively, unable to stop herself.

Jemmiah smile widened triumphantly. The healer's reaction was as good as an admission.

Healer Leona stared at the floor helplessly. How did she do that. That girl purposely maneuvered her into that. Here she was a grown woman, expertly manipulaated be a girl barely out of puberty. What was she suppose to do now, confess and become the laughing stock of the Temple.

As if sensing her thoughts Jemmiah spoke up.

"I won't tell him a thing." she said sincerely.

"He never listens to me anyway." she added with a laugh.

"I'd better go now." Leona said rather embarrassed. Not knowing what else to do she turned and hurried away.

A mischievous smile graced Jemmiah's face as she watched the healer walk quickly down the hall.

 

Uh-huh, ?HOW HAPPY I AM?? taking my daily dose of fun! It?s extremely pleasant to listen your duet, Jemmiah and Healer Leona. Your voices sounds so classically enriching one another, what a staggering effect! You did it! It?s a real belcanto?

 

Healer Leona, it is an honor to be "borrowed!" Glad to have you and Kylenn and Sybelle onboard! Anyone else want to chip in? Jane Jinn? Want to help torture poor Obi? Or at least, torment him?
********************
?I can?t do this.? Obi-Wan swallowed. ?It?s all very well for the likes of Kylenn. She?s a girl.? His rich voice trembled just a touch in trepidation. ?I?d sooner eat one of Master Yodas? stews.?
?What?s the problem?? Menali Jay Abran rested his lean face in the palm of his hand. ?How difficult can it be? You just have to walk up to an assistant and say you want to get some frillies for your girlfriend??

Obi-Wan slumped over in embarrassment and hit his head off the table.

?If this is what he?s like selecting the damned things, what state?s he going to be in when he gets to see her in them?? Simeon Cates smiled wolfishly.

Kenobi raised his head just a touch, just in time to see Abran and Cates staring off into space, clearly trying to picture it?

?Cut that out NOW.? warned Obi-Wan.
?You?ll die of heart failure.? Abran shook his head. ?She?s too much for you to handle, friend.?
?Hmm.? Agreed Simeon, chewing his lip. ?Remember her sixteenth birthday party? I nearly died when she appeared in that dancing girl outfit. Especially when she made her entrance in that rolled up carpet!?
?I think SHE nearly died when she saw you two with those feather boas.? Abran taunted. ?And as for Master Windu??
?My master NEVER gets to hear about that, understood?? Obi-Wan cringed at the memory.
?What, you think we?re suicidal?? Simeon asked balefully.

There was an uncomfortable silence as Obi-Wan returned his thoughts to the task in hand.

?It?s no good.? He said eventually. ?If I back out now then I?m a poor excuse for a padawan. I have to try.?
?Do, or do not. There is no?? Simeon began.
?Will you stop quoting Master Yoda at me? Somehow when he dished out that particular piece of advice, I don?t think he had in mind a trip to the ladies underwear section in a department store!? He began to get nervous. ?Oh, come on then,? He muttered, ?If I don?t do it now my nerve will go completely. And I want to have it over and done with before my master gets back from his meeting with Master Windu and Master Berlingside.?

They walked companionably through the gardens. All around them was an aura of complete calm and relaxation. Amidst the peace, the tornado that was Obi-Wan Kenobi lengthened his stride, walking briskly and purposefully, an epicentre of turbulent emotions hurtling onwards.

?Say something helpful.? Simeon frowned. ?He?s about to burst into tears, by the look of him.?

Abran paused, then cleared his throat.

?All this fuss over a few strands of silk.?

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and if anything stepped up his pace.

?You could always buy her some edible ones.? Jay Abran added helpfully.

Kenobi pulled his hood over his face and stalked away, with the others a few paces further back.

How was he going to manage this??
*****************

Sybelle and Letina Sorrell were lounging around in the latter?s apartment, looking thoroughly bored. This in itself was nothing new for Sybelle. If she wasn?t with her boyfriend then she was usually bored. Jemmiah had seen him on a few occasions, and had to admit that he was handsome enough, in a roguish sort of way.

?Don?t you two have any classes to go to?? She grinned.
?It?s OK for you, with your private tutor.? Pouted Letina, tucking a strand of light brown hair behind her ear.
?I didn?t always have a private tutor.? Jemmiah countered. ?I had to have regular lessons, like all the other Nerfs. And wear a uniform. Sith, I hated that! I had to take it up in length, it was so dashed ugly!?
?Yeah, I think most people round here remember that.? Sybelle said coolly. ?It must be great to wear what you want, although how Evla lets you get away with some of the stuff you put on, I really don?t know.?
?That?s because I don?t leave our apartment wearing this kind of thing.? She indicated her short-ish dress and black boots. ?I carry it in a bag, and then change. I also make sure that I keep awa

 

This is hysterical!! I can hardly wait for more! Keep going everyone!

 

Qui-Gon Jinn peeked into the cafeteria. The room was almost empty. Most of the initiates and padawans had already taken mid-meal and would now be attending their afternoon classes.

Deciding he was indeed hungry, the large master entered. Making his way down the counter he placed a variety of healthy edibles on his tray.

Picking a table furthest away from the other diners he settled into a chair enjoying a peaceful meal as he studied a report on the latest enviormental issues on Coruscant.

"Qui-Gon!" a familiar voice called from across the room.

Looking up he saw Mace Windu and Master Berlingside heading his way.

"Mind if we join you?" Mace asked, already taking a seat across from his friend.

"Would it stop you if I said no?" Qui-Gon asked with a stoic face.

"Nope." the tall brown-skinned master replied glibbly.

"Master Berlingside." Qui-Gon acknowledged with a nod.

"Master Jinn" he replied formally as he sat next to Mace who was already shoveling mounds of some indistiguishable food into his mouth.

Watching Mace for a moment Qui-Gon shook his head in amusement.

"Whaa..?" Mace asked through a mouthful of food.

"The only other person I've seen eat like that is my padawan." he stated.

"It's not my fault Council duties have stimulated my appetite."

"Nor is it your fault when your robes don't fit the same." Qui-Gon teased.

"I told you they shrunk in the wash." Mace replied a little too emphatically, causing his friends to snicker.

"Did you know the temple is all abuzz over the cantina-crawl?" Mace decided a change of subjects was in order. "Word's spread like the Corellian death flu."

"Has Master Yoda found out about it?" Qui-Gon's face paled at the thought.

Mace only looked at him incredulously.

"He knows." Qui-Gon lamented. "The little troll's just waiting for the right time to question me, then whap with his stick." Qui-Gon shuddered.

Now it was Mace' turn to delight at his friend's discomfort.

"Jemmiah's assembling quite a crowd for the event. I heard Pipsqueak is even planning to attend.

"Pipsqueak?" Qui-Gon asked.

You know, the little assistant healer of An-Paj. What's her name...Leona I think." Mace answered.

"I don't tink I know her." Master Berlingside said.

"That's because you don't have the galaxy's most accident-prone padawan like Qui-Gon here." Mace chided.

"Well," Berlingside asked with interest, "What's she look like?"

"Oh, she's attractive enough...but..." Mace began.

"Well, what is it, three arms? Two heads? Horns?" Master Berlingside chuckled.

"No, it's just she's as timid as a mouse. Hence the name Pipsqueak. You know, small and mouse-like." Mace laughed heartily.

"That's not very nice." Qui-Gon admonished.

"Hey, I didn't give her that name. That honor goes to An-Paj."

"So, she's shy, huh?" Berlingside said thoughtfully. "You know what they say about the quiet ones."



[This message has been edited by HealerLeona (edited 04-19-2000).]

 

I cannot wait until the Cantina-crawl. Hey, I was in college. Been there, done that. C'mon we need more posts.

P.S. Go HealerLeona! I can't wait to see what you have in store for Master Jinn.

 

Thanks for the invitation! I wish I had your comic abilities, but I don't. My strengths lie elsewhere, unfortunately, so I'll have to pass on this one. Sigh. I wish I could, but my style is just so different, I'd just muck everything up.

I'm enjoying every word of yours, though, and HealerLeona's! Good work, both of you!

 

Once again I shall throw my two cents worth in, if not much else.
*********************************************

Jemmiah, Sybelle, Letina and Kylenn walked quickly toward the department store. They could not afford to stop if they were going to beat Obi-wan there. And yet, Jemmiah did.

"What's wrong?" asked Kylenn.

"Nothing, there's just someone I need to invite to the Cantina-crawl." She replied, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Sybelle was the first to notice who she was talking about. A young blond haired man walked slowly in front of them, staring up at the sky. "Oh, Jemmiah, not him!

"Not Padawan Dull!" begged Letina. "Face it, Jemmy, he just dosen't know how to have fun."
But they all knew it was too late. Jemmiah and/or Master Windu were always involved in one scheme or another to make Padawan Hmiol crack a smile. She walked toward him as her companions hung back.

"Hey!"

"Huh?" he looked down to see who had spoken. Oh, hi Jemmiah."

"Have you heard about the cantina-crawl?"

"Yeah."

"Typical." Whispered Sybelle. "I've never heard him say more than five words in a row."

"You ought to come." Jemmiah continued.

"Sure, whatever." He gave her kind of a blank look, like he really didn't care one way or another, then continued walking.

Alright, let's go." said Jemmiah as she rejoined them. "one of these days me and Windy'll wear him down." Then they took off again.
***

 

?Force save us!? Simeon whistled quietly as the three padawans reluctantly edged their way through the ?Best Buy? department store, in what was one of the classier establishments in the neighbourhood. ?I don?t believe that women actually wear this kind of thing.? He grabbed a turquoise chemise spun from Corelli-silk and rubbed it appreciatively between thumb and finger.
?Simeon!? Hissed Obi-Wan.
?What??
?Will you stop pawing everything you see??
?I thought Jemmiah was s?posed to say that to you?? He replied with a cheeky grin.

The look that Obi-Wan gave him could have fried a Wampa.

?There?s so much.? Abran frowned. ?Where on Coruscant do we start? Everywhere you turn, it?s wall to wall skimpies!?

Kenobi wished the ground would open up and swallow him. The present was a bad idea. Bringing Simeon and Jay was immeasurably insane. He?d never felt so utterly noticeable: three Jedi wandering about the ladies underwear section in a store. He felt as if everyone in the vicinity were staring at him. He looked up from the ground.

Everyone WAS staring at him.

And besides, Jay was correct. Where did you start? He turned to his friend.

?Help!? He swallowed.
?Calm down, Obi. You?re hyperventilating.? Abran frowned. ?It?s easy. All you have to do is glance at some of the stuff and then try and think what she?d look good in.?

Obi-Wan felt himself shake slightly. If the Council had made this one of the trials for padawans to take before achieving knighthood, Kenobi felt he would probably fail.

?This black stuff?s nice.? Called Simeon, holding up a lace bra.
?I think I?ll go off and die somewhere.? Obi-Wan closed his eyes.
********************

?There they are!? Sybelle grinned hugely. ?Have you any idea how terrible this looks! No wonder people are staring at them!?
?Where?? Jemmiah craned her head round a stack of synthi-silk under-slips. Her mouth dropped open. ?What the SITH is Simeon doing with that bra!?
?I?m so glad we brought the mini-holocam!? Letina gloated. ?This is just TOO funny. Kenobi looks like he?s given up the will to live!?
?Hey!? Jemmy frowned. ?He?s trying his best?no! Don?t you dare get me those?those?things! You could go sailing with them!? She sighed with relief as she saw Jay Abran replace them on the shelving.
?How come men don?t know anything??
?It?s biologically programmed into them?? Kylenn hazarded a guess.
********************

?Sith!? Simeon?s eyes widened. ?These are practically invisible!?
?Put them back.? Kenobi said levelly. ?You?re making an exhibition of yourself.?
?What color are you going to go for?? Abran asked.
?Red.? Simeon muttered. ?Definitely red. It?ll match the color of his face.? The two padawans laughed as Kenobi?s discomfort became more prenounced.
?You are supposed to be helping me.? Obi-Wan snapped. ?You?re as much use as a round dice!?
?Dice!? Abran yelled happily, as passers by stopped to look at the Jedi. ?That?s it! Get her something with spots on!?
*******************

?NO.? Jemmiah growled to herself. ?Don?t you DARE get me anything with spots!?
?Shh!? Hushed Sybelle. ?Pipe down, will you? I?m trying to shield us.?
?But it?s got more underwiring than a hot-rodder!? Jemmy?s eyebrows pleaded.
?Yeah.? Letina muttered, glancing at her companion. ?Let?s face it, underwiring is not something you particularly need.?
?A stiff drink is what I?ll need, especially if I have to wear ?em.? Jemmiah cursed.
?Keep filming!? Kylenn giggled.
*******************

?How about that?? Kenobi wondered, nodding over to a display with a mannequin dressed in what could only be described as, loosely speaking, a few scraps of cloth.
?Yeah, if you want her to look like a Hutt?s plaything, go right ahead.? Abran said cheerfully. ?It?s an image I could quite easily live with.?
?Me too.? Simeon nodded, holding up a V-shaped basque against his body.

?I?m going to be sick.? Jemmiah said.
?Not exactly Simeon?s style, is it?? Kylenn wondered out loud. ?What DOES he look like??

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes and tried to reach out with the force for some inspiration.

?Go on, Ben. Go for the black see-through o

 

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, guys, my computer went all slow (oh, the technicality). Nice work, though!

********************************************

"That is the funniest thing I have ever seen!" Letina laughed hysterically, almost falling off her chair with compulsive laughter as she tried to turn off the holovid. Sybelle's boyfriend Griff Rendar smirked at Jemmiah.
"Imagine how much I could make if I copied that tape and sold it." he commented.
"Don't you dare!" Jemmiah retorted loudly, leaning over and attempting to strangle him. Obi Wan walked into the lounge.
"Jemmy!" he exclaimed in a mock-astonished voice. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing" Jemmiah said, sitting up hastily. Letina and Kylenn tried their best to conceal the holocam and the holovid remote under their seats. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, you know, not much. Just...um.." Obi Wan muttered turning a brilliant crimson. "See you later" he said as he hurridly left the room. Sybelle and Griff collapsed into hysterical fits of laughter.

***************************

"See you later babe" Griff kissed Sybelle on the lips as he stood up to go.
"I'll be waiting" Sybelle replied, grinning wickedly.
"Oh gross." Letina whispered, making gagging noises. Jemmiah and Kylenn giggled.
"Fine." Sybelle said, folding her arms and pouting. "At least my boyfriend is able to buy me underwear without making a complete exhibition of himself!"

 

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, guys, my computer went all slow (oh, the technicality). Nice work, though!

********************************************

"That is the funniest thing I have ever seen!" Letina laughed hysterically, almost falling off her chair with compulsive laughter as she tried to turn off the holovid. Sybelle's boyfriend Griff Rendar smirked at Jemmiah.
"Imagine how much I could make if I copied that tape and sold it." he commented.
"Don't you dare!" Jemmiah retorted loudly, leaning over and attempting to strangle him. Obi Wan walked into the lounge.
"Jemmy!" he exclaimed in a mock-astonished voice. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing" Jemmiah said, sitting up hastily. Letina and Kylenn tried their best to conceal the holocam and the holovid remote under their seats. "What have you been up to?"
"Oh, you know, not much. Just...um.." Obi Wan muttered turning a brilliant crimson. "See you later" he said as he hurridly left the room. Sybelle and Griff collapsed into hysterical fits of laughter.

***************************

"See you later babe" Griff kissed Sybelle on the lips as he stood up to go.
"I'll be waiting" Sybelle replied, grinning wickedly.
"Oh gross." Letina whispered, making gagging noises. Jemmiah and Kylenn giggled.
"Fine." Sybelle said, folding her arms and pouting. "At least my boyfriend is able to buy me underwear without making a complete exhibition of himself!"

 

?Is he back yet?? Simeon asked cautiously as Kenobi poked his head round the entrance of his apartment.
Obi-Wan glanced round. He hadn?t sensed his master, but it wouldn?t hurt to be careful. He?d been caught out before, like the memorable time he?d come back from a day out with his friends just a tad later than Qui-Gon had stipulated. OK, three hours later than Qui-Gon had stipulated. His master had waited up in the dark, shielding his presence; so that when Obi-Wan had turned the lights on he?d got the shock of his life?

?It looks fine.? Kenobi checked the room a final time.

Yes, of course. He?s hiding under the table, Obi-Wan thought. He really WAS getting paranoid. Not that he felt that it wasn?t justified: ever since he?d mentioned to Qui-Gon that he was seeing Jemmiah on somewhat more than friendly terms, Qui-Gon had become really strange. He?d get extra lessons, to help drum the importance of his training into his mind. He felt he was always under constant surveillance. And if he came back tired or dull in spirits after a night out on the town, his master would look at him as if he?d just announced he was giving his allegiance to the Sith!

Then there was the little matter of his choice in girlfriend. If Qui-Gon hadn?t actually come out and said that he didn?t approve, he?d made little secret of it. He?d been out with other padawans before, but never anyone who wasn?t force sensitive like himself. In a way, that was part of the attraction. It was refreshing to get another perspective on life, someone whose existence didn?t revolve around the force every waking moment. Or as Jemmy had put it, someone who couldn?t make rocks fly through the air every time they sneezed. He loved her irreverence, and always had.

Qui-Gon didn?t.

This apart, Jemmiah had always got on very well with Qui-Gon, in fact Obi-Wan had been slightly jealous of the way they?d hit it off so quickly, bearing in mind that it had been a good long time before Qui-Gon had accepted his own presence so willingly. They would tease each other unmercifully, which was not normally Qui-Gon?s style at all, and despite her jokes she remained covertly fond of the tall Jedi.

Things had altered dramatically between the two over the last four weeks, and Obi-Wan knew that Jemmiah had been very hurt by Qui-Gon?s coolness to her. And here he was, stuck in the middle.

His masters? words came back to him. Too young and too flighty.

He gestured to the others. ?Come on in.?

Simeon barged his way past Obi-Wan and Jay Abran. Simeon was two years younger than Obi-Wan, and sometimes his immaturity showed; yet Kenobi couldn?t help but like him. He could be annoying, yes, but he was basically a considerate person. He?d made a natural addition to the ranks of the healers.

Hapless. That was the word Obi-Wan thought of in regards to Simeon. He?d seen him eyeing a few of the female padawans, like Ambianca, Letina, Dimallie and Merri but nothing had ever come of it. His overly long padawan haircut always seemed to be unruly and a law unto itself, just like its owner. Black, hooded eyes and furrowed brows tended to give the impression that there was more going on his head than there was ever likely to be.

Menali Jay Abran was a year older than Obi-Wan. Big mouthed, a show-off and full of self-importance, always quick to lead when others didn?t even want to follow. Golden tanned skin and bronze colored hair gave him the appearance of some sort of golden statuette of an ancient Corellian God, and at first Obi-Wan had felt rather inferior in his presence. However, his confidence and sense of humour made him likeable, in his own way.

Kylenn certainly seemed to think so, although she would never admit it.

?I need to eat something.? Obi-Wan said, making his way to the kitchen area.
?You ALWAYS need to eat something.? Abran frowned. ?I?ve never seen anyone eat as much and still have room for more.? He paused. ?Except for Reeft.?
?And Ocen-Bai Talz.?
?And Jodi Mullicar.?
?And Tanni Walesa.?
?And Junine.?
?And Bant!?
?Let?s face it,? Abran said after some consideration, ?We a

 

Oh, boy, I can see another great post coming, one that involves everybody's favourite Healer! I can't wait!

Oh, I loved it when Obi-Wan was remembering how he came back three hours later than Qui-Gon had stipulated, and Qui-Gon was hiding in the dark, waiting for him, so that he got the shock of his life when he turned on the lights! Sneaky old master! He probably should do it more often...

 

Hehehe...Jemmiah you have a deliciously crafty mind! I can't wait to see what happens next! Oh, and my boyfriend thinks the story is rather charming as well, at least until the subject of naughty knickers was brought up. "*sigh* Only a female would write about Jedi shopping for lingerie!"

*wracks own miniscule little brain to come up with a worthy addition to the story...*

[This message has been edited by Jedi Kylenn (edited 04-25-2000).]

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>?What did she say??
?When??
?You went to ask her for a list of people coming on this outing.?
?I forgot.? Obi-Wan looked abashed.


Hint, hint, people. Not much time left to throw in a new victim! I can't wait to start this thing. I have another great scene all worked out for "The galaxys most boring human" when we reach the first cantina. *Evil grin*

 

If this dosen't fit where you were going with the story, Jemmiah let me know. I can easily delte it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Ow, that hurts!" the small boy cried out in pain as Healer Leona dabbed the angry looking scrap with disinfectant. The initiate's knees were raw and bloodied, the result of the skin having been worn away by pressured motion.

"I'm sure it does. Maybe this will make you think twice about sliding down the banister again." she replied containing her amusement.

The spiral staircase in the center of the Jedi Temple had always proven too great a temptation for the countless children that that inhabited its confines.

It rose twenty stories high, looping down in a wide continuous coil and was the proving ground of endless dares and the cause of numerous visits to the infirmary.

"But the padawans to it all the time!" the boy vehemently justified.

Now when was the last time I had heard that excuse, she thought with mild irritation.

"And if a padawan jumped off the top of the Jedi Temple would that be cause for you to follow?" she asked in a demanding tone.

The boy's eyes violet narrowed in disbelieving shock, "No! Of course not." he stated.

"Then let this be a lesson to you. You should learn to think for yourself and not simply follow the actions of others. A Jedi's actions should reflect the ability to know the difference between what is right from what we want." she lectured sternly.

"Yes, ma'am." he lowered his head submissively.

The door opened and Simeon Cates walked through, carrying a small package. He paused scannning the room quickly before entering.

Seeing only Healer Leona attending to a small boy at the far end of the room a look of relief crossed his face.

"Master An-Paj has not arrived?" he inquired with a hopeful grin.

"No, the Force is with you today, Simeon. He was summoned to appear before the Council before reporting here. " the female healer answered eyeing the furtive manner of the padawan.

"What have you gotten into this time?" she asked suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing really." he said glancing around the room again. "I just didn't want to be late again, you know how often I get in trouble for tardiness."

"Yes, for that and many other reasons." she admonished good-naturedly.

Crossing to the supply cart, Simeon lifted a stack of wrapped medical instruments and placed the secretive package beneath them.

Satisifed with their not being noticed he crossed to the assistant healer. "What've we got here?" he asked motioning to the little boy sitting with his head bowed dejectedly.

"Spiral staircase." was all she said and Simeon nooded with understanding.

"Looks like you've already given him the standard lecture on jumping off the Temple roof." he said with an air of impudence.

"Why don't you get a couple of small bacta packs." she suggested, "I've already cleaned the wounds."

Leaving the boy in the padawan's capable hands she retuned to her desk to enter the treatment into her datapad.

"Yes, ma'ma?' he replied dutifully.

Smiling down at the boy, Simeon opened two sterile packs and placed them on the offending wounds gently taping them in place.

"Did you forget to use the Force to slow your descent?" he asked quietly of his patient.

The boy slowly looked up at him, his eyes huge saucers, brimming with tears. He nodded wordlessly.

"How high did you start?" Simeon inquired earnestly.

The boy hesitated to answer, not wanting to get into more trouble then he was already in.

"Tenth floor." he mummured, his voice trembling.

"Tenth floor?" Simeon repeated. "That's impressive. I wasn't brave enough to try the tenth floor until I was years older than you." he confessed.

Instantly the young boy's face brightened at the surprising revelation and compliment.

Leaning in closer to the boy's head Simeon whispered, "You've got to focus on the Force by the time you hit the second floor or there's no way to slow down in time without injury."

The boy glanced immediately in the assistant
healer's direction. Seeing her back to him the boy smiled widely, wordl