Before - Legends A Nightmare on Coruscant Street - Dare You Challenge Response (Yoda) Part two of two up 5/15!

Title: A Nightmare on Coruscant Street
Author: BrentusofGath
Genre: Guess
Characters: Yoda, OCs, a special guest
Time Frame: Many years before ANH
Disclaimer: I am neither George Lucas nor Jim Henson. No one gives me money for this stuff, hence I am poor
Notes: For the I Dare You Challenge. Here is my dare: Write a fic centred on Yoda as a young(ish) Master. Must include: Yoda acquiring the famous gimmer stick, Some samples of his 'wonderful' cooking, A visiting dignitary and/or yoda and padawan attending a political banquet, Master yoda must discipline someone, Yoda trying on 'casual' wear

EDIT: Additional Note: I split this up into two posts, but it will be under 2,500 words, so if there are any judges ready to read this, if you want you can wait until the second post is done in a few days or so. Thank you for your patience, there is no need to panic.




~*~*~*~

Yoda awoke with a start. A gentle breeze nuzzled agaist his fuzzy green cheek from the open window. A curtain swayed back and forth, making no audible sound. His own heavy breathing made the most prominent attack on his senses.

A shadow darted across the blanket and the Jedi Master quickly whipped his head around... nothing. All was still, except for the curtain continuing it's hideous geometric dance against the black tapestry of eerie night.

Strange, this is, the master pondered. Stopped, the breeze has. Why the curtain moves, I do not know. He swung his little feet from under the covers and reached down to the floor to pick up his special pair of pink and purple hot pants. Casual wear, he ruminated.

Just then, a tiny sound, like metal scraping something, filled his tricorne ears. Squeeeeeee. It was a truly unsettling sound, seeming to come from all around his bed. Squeeeeeee.

"Padawan!?" Yoda called out. "If playing a joke you are, very bad medicine, will I feed you. Perhaps break out the bala root stew with the delightfully pungent odor, I will. Make you turn three shades of purple, it will."

All he received for his trouble was- Squeeeeeee.

"Work, that did not," he thought out loud.

Another shadow crept its way across the room, first formless, but as Yoda watched, it morphed into humanoid form, grotesque and malformed. Yoda blinked, trying to focus in the darkness, trying to discern what he was really seeing. The shapeless shape quickly vanished through the wall as his eyes closed.

He finally noticed something, some kind of form hunched over in the corner. It appeared to move slightly, rhythmically.

"Almost four hundred years old, I am. Afraid of the dark, I am not," Yoda called out to whatever it was. "Show yourself; if fight you want, here, bring it!"

This time, a noise from behind drew the master's attention. It was a groan, a terrible groan. It sounded just like his padawan, a Gran female called Veltu.

"Veltu?!" Yoda called out, concerned for his young charge.

"She was good," a demented voice cackled. It filled the room and yet was little more than a whisper.

Yoda lept from his bed, lightsaber humming.

"Ooo, scary weapon," the voice taunted.

Suddenly, the form in the corner stood up. A strange hat came to rest on its head and a hand with very long fingernails could now be clearly seen.

"About to learn how scary this is, you are," Yoda announced. However, it soon became apparent that his saber was no longer humming. He glanced over to find Veltu's head in his hands.

Yoda dropped the severed head to the floor in shock.

The other being laughed menacingly.

"Who are you?" Yoda queried, allowing his rage to filter from his body into the Force.

"You can call me, Freddy." The being bowed formally. His long, knife-like fingernails suddenly sprang forth, just missing the dodging diminutive master.

"Quicker than that, you must be," Yoda chided. He noticed Freddy's eyes narrow and flush red. "Control your anger, you must, if strike me down, you intend." He tried to use the Force to push the maniac against

 

Evil cliffie!

"Padawan!?" Yoda called out. "If playing a joke you are, very bad medicine, will I feed you. Perhaps break out the bala root stew with the delightfully pungent odor, I will. Make you turn three shades of purple, it will."

I still think this is hilarious!

So Freddy is playing mind games with Yoda... Though I really do think that Freddy better watch.

Great job!

 

"Show yourself; if fight you want, here, bring it!"

I can see Yoda doing the Matrix stance then waving his fingers.

Purple and pink hot pants good touch.

I'm not a big Freddy fan but nice use of descriptions. Your challenger will be well pleased.

 

"Work, that did not," he thought out loud.

does it usually?

Pretty good this is. Funny, it is. More I need. Part 2, you must post.

 

You know, "Yoda vs. Freddy" is something I would never have thought of. My money's on Yoda, even if Freddy can come back from the dead. Jedi can come back from the dead too, you know!

 

Healer_Leona posted: Yoda and Freddy. What an intriuging combination.

It isn't exactly Laurel and Hardy, but I thought it had a nice ring to it anyway. Thanks for reading!

LilyHobbitJedi posted: So Freddy is playing mind games with Yoda...

That's what he does best, since he's in the dream.

Lea-El posted: Purple and pink hot pants good touch.

I thought you might like them.

Meredith_Kenobi posted: does it usually?

Obviously, never tasted Yoda's cooking, you have.

ophelia posted: My money's on Yoda, even if Freddy can come back from the dead.

Even if Yoda does win this round, Freddy can always come back.

Thanks for reading! More is here!

---

[b]Part 2 of 2:[/b]



~*~*~*~

"Ahhh!" Yoda rolled over so violently, he fell right out of his bed and thudded painfully on the floor. He jumped quickly to his feet and did a three sixty twirl to survey the entire room.

"So real, that was," he whispered, lips trembling. "Never thought, so frightened to become one with the Force, I would be."

He looked down to his pink and purple casual wear on the floor, but instead, pulled on his wrinkly old Jedi robes and tiptoed cautiously into the main room of his small apartment.

"Veltu?" he called softly, but received no reply. He stuck his head into her room and noticed her sleeping comfortably, blankets pulled up to her forehead.

He decided to let her sleep for now and get in some training on his own to alleviate the tension coursing through his body.

~*~*~*~

On his way to the gym he poked his head into the room of a thousand fountains and noticed a peculiar glow. Many Jedi were standing around a strange, glimmering object stuck in the stone of one of the fountains.

"What is this?" the green master queried as he approached.

"It just appeared overnight," one of the nearby Knights told him. "It's stuck so well into the stone that none of us can remove it."

"Do it, I will."

"Oh, stand back everybody," the Knight chided, "the monster of muscle is here."

"Bala stew, anyone?" Yoda asked. By now his cooking was legendary within the Temple. Everyone scattered for their tastebud's lives, including mr. bigmouth, the Knight.

Yoda heaved and easily pulled the stick from the stone. "Hmm, nice gimmer stick, this is." He strode past the slack-jawed onlookers and out into the hall.

"Oh, remember never to pull on strange sticks, I must," he moaned in agony outside. He leaned on the stick for support, as he would for the rest of his days.

~*~*~*~

Yoda went into the cafeteria to find no one there. Outside, sitting on a bench, seemingly in a trance, was Master Figleaf.

"Ok, are you?" Yoda asked, hopping up to the bench.

"Oh, Master Yoda," Figleaf answered emotionlessly. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Bad nightmare, had myself," Yoda admitted. "Man trying to kill me, there was."

"Did he have a weird hat?" Figleaf asked.

Yoda's brow raised. "Yes."

"And a really tacky red and green sweater? And these long knives for fingers?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Never heard of Freddy Kruger," Figleaf stated emphatically, shaking his head violently back and forth.

"Something strange going on here, there is," Yoda murmured.

~*~*~*~

Back in his quarters, Yoda stuck his head into Veltu's room once more. She still appeared to be sound asleep.

"Something [i]very[/i] strange, there is." He cautiously approached the unmoving form. Gently he touched her, and jumped back about four meters when her head rolled onto the floor- without her body attached to it!

~*~*~*~

"Fix Freddy, I will," Yoda said later, after the shock wore off. He was in the Temple kitchens, on a tall stool, a steaming pressure cooker on the burner in front of him. The diminutive master piled in the roots and leaves and secured the lid in place.

A chair and several meters of rope were also present.

A small bed was prepared in a cabinet. Yoda lay down, clutching onto his new gimme

 

Aah have you ever heard of cruel and unusual punishment. Making him eat Yoda's cooking, a fate worse than death.

I hope you saves some of the stew for the darer who challenged you to write this story.

Good work you showed them.

 

Ah Freddy, you should have known better than to take on the greatest Jedi of all time.

If Yoda can't kill you, his cooking will.

This was absolutely brilliant! I loved it.

Awesome response to the challenge

 

How very... twisted... Yoda and Freddy, an interesting combination in a very difficult dare!

Great job!

 

"Oh, remember never to pull on strange sticks, I must," he moaned in agony outside. He leaned on the stick for support, as he would for the rest of his days.

Yeah, but your reputation was on the line! What's the rest of your life hunched over, compared to that?

Yoda picked them up, put the hat on his head and the glove on his hand. "Who's next?"

This was great! None of the stupid, boring, sensible Yoda for this story - Brentus gives us an ultra cool, slightly crazy Yoda! I love it!

 

Yoda heaved and easily pulled the stick from the stone. "Hmm, nice gimmer stick, this is." He strode past the slack-jawed onlookers and out into the hall.

So his gimmer stick was the stick in the stone? How cool!

"And a really tacky red and green sweater? And these long knives for fingers?"

Too funny!!

He turned to see his lightsaber, in the hands of the maniac. "Nice toy, sonny," Freddy growled. "This thing could use a warning label." He held up his hand and cut his own hand off, cackling wildly.

Yup, they really should have warning labels.


Eventually the need to breathe won out and the spoon was soon in his mouth. "Ahhh!!!!!" Just like that, Fred Kruger howled his last. The only thing left was his glove and hat.

Yoda picked them up, put the hat on his head and the glove on his hand. "Who's next?"

I just love that ending!! Yup, Yoda's stew really is lethal! And Yoda trying on Freddy's hat and glove is too funny an image.

Awesome story!!

 

"Ow!" Freddy was hopping around, holding his shin. "Come here you little sprout!"



This was absolutely hilarious! I loved Yoda's 'casual wear', and his line about being four hundred years old and not afraid of the dark, and how he got his gimmer stick.

And the ending, with Freddy having to eat Yoda's cooking...perfect!

Awesome challenge response, Brentus!

 

Strange, this is, the master pondered. Stopped, the breeze has. Why the curtain moves, I do not know. He swung his little feet from under the covers and reached down to the floor to pick up his special pair of pink and purple hot pants. Casual wear, he ruminated.

Oh golly, this gave me fits of giggles. I was just wondering about Jedi Casual wear. Perhaps it was better not to wonder!


"Almost four hundred years old, I am. Afraid of the dark, I am not," Yoda called out to whatever it was. "Show yourself; if fight you want, here, bring it!" lol I can't imagine Yoda frightened of anything.


Yoda brought the spoon out of the pot. "Time for your medicine, it is." LOL! Okay this needs to go into the Freddy mythos. Now. today! The boy just needs his medicine!

I loved it. This was truly hysterical.