A Problem Shared Is A Problem Multiplied Some More...

Posted by HEALER LEONA:

"Do you have an idea?" Qui-Gon asked from in front of the holo connection.

Leona frowned for a moment trying to think of a suitable question.

"Ok, yeah, I think so." she finally answered with a smile, waiting for the large Jedi Master to vacate the seat.
"Are you going to move? Or am I suppose to sit on you?" she asked, the corners of her mouth changing the smile into something more suggestive.

Without a word, Qui-Gon scooted the chair back giving the petite healer room to squeeze in between him and the desktop.

Taking her cue, Leona rounded the chair and its occupant and sat on his lap, her short legs dangling above the floor.

"Comfy?" he asked.
"Not quite." she replied, then proceeded to rock herself back a bit further, causing a surprised grunt to escape him.
"There, that's better." Leona said with satisfaction and began to type.
"Do the two of you want to be alone?" Mace smirked from behind the cozy pair.
"You could've asked that before barging in earlier." Qui-Gon shot at him.

Dear Naughty Nell,

Most of the male population in the temple envies me. A master of considerable talent I have am in charge of a league of underlings, both knights and padawans and I have the last say so on all that happens in my department.

The only problem is that when I'm at home all my authority flies right out the window. Now granted I'm the minority in a house full of women but you'd think that after a hard day in the infirmary I'd be given the right to relax a little in my own home.

But no, the minute I walk in the door they're waiting with a list of tasks to be taken care of, problems to be solved that takes me till all hours of the night just to finish.

Then on top of all that I'm expected to give my total and complete attention to one of my dear wives every night. Not that I'm complaining.
I'd just like to, for once, be the one making the decision of which, or maybe none at all if my choosing?

I can command the very highest of Jedi, including Master Yoda himself yet when at home I'm subjugated to no more than a lowly manservant.

Tell me, how do I become master of my domain and king of my castle.

A-P

"You mean his wives decide?" Mace asked incredulously.
"He comes from a matriarchal society, Mace." the healer said over Qui-Gon's shoulder. "And it seems to work quite well, I might add."
"Hmmmph!" came Mace' indignant reply. "You would think so."

 

Obi-Wan knocked hesitantly on the door a couple of times and received no answer.

Sith, he thought. What am I doing?

Very warily, he opened the door and peeped his head round the corner. His eyes met with almost total darkness.

?Jemmy?? He asked cautiously.

No answer.

?This is stupid.? He grumbled to himself. ?Lights on.? He commanded.

Jemmiah regarded him from under dark brows, scowling.

?I never said you could come in.? She muttered.
?I?m not usually allowed in here.? He replied, trying to keep his tone even. ?Evla usually sees to that.? He cast a glance over the room.
?You?re angry with me.? Kenobi said eventually.
Jemmiah hugged her pillow. ?What makes you say that??
?The fact that the stuffed, cuddly Nargot I gave you is pinned to your Corelli darts board by a large bread knife.?
?Oh.? She said miserably. ?That.?

He risked sitting on her bed. ?May I ask why poor Silas deserved to meet such a grizzly fate??
?It was either ?poor Silas? or you,? She answered eventually, ?and I thought I?d probably spilled enough of your blood today.?
?Thanks.? Obi-Wan said dryly.

Jemmiah looked at him. ?I?m not angry anymore. I?ve never liked arguing with you. It hurts too much.?
?I know.? Kenobi pointed to his nose. When she laughed a little he knew his gesture had achieved the result he was looking for.
?And I?ve been thinking about those temper control exercises you were going to show me.?
?Yes?? He prompted.
?If the offer?s still there I?d like to take you up on it.?
?I see.? Kenobi frowned. ?I thought you told me you?d rather kill me and roast my testicles over a fire than take those classes.?
?I thought a girl was allowed to change her mind.? She replied.

He smiled. ?Are we still friends then??
?Oh, I don?t know. I wanted to hear your excuse for calling me a nymphomaniac Corellian streetwalker.?
?Please don?t remind me.?
?Don?t remind you? Ben, you?re going to be reminded of that for the next ten years at least.? She patted the bed beside her. ?I?ll overlook it on this occasion.?
?I can?t kiss you with this on my nose.? He laughed, indicating once more the Bacta beak.
?Who mentioned your nose.? Jemmy poked him playfully in the ribs.

Kenobi stood up.

?Where are you going?? Jemmiah looked confused.
?I?m going to tell Silas to look away. Or rather, what?s left of him.? He walked over to the comical Nargot impaled on the dartboard and removed his shirt, draping it over the remains of the stuffed toy.

?I wouldn?t want him getting embarrassed.?

****************************

?It?s really quiet through there.? Simeon gulped. ?Do you think she?s killed him??
?Hmm.? Letina wondered. ?Ten minutes, Obi-Wan said. Give him a little more time before we send in the rescue party.?
?Fine.? Cates shrugged. ?I wouldn?t want his death on my conscience.?
?Don?t be so melodramatic, Simeon.? Letina turned her attention back to the screen. ?They?re probably making up as we speak??
Her face brightened. ?An-Paj! We?ve got one from An-Paj!?
?Where?? Simeon thrust his head forwards until it was only inches away from the holo screen, his eyes devouring the words. ?YES!? He whooped. ?This is prime blackmail material!? He looked at her. ?Let me do this. Please??
?You did the last one.? She pointed out.
Reading the disappointment on his face, Letina relented. ?OK. We?ll both do it, right??
?Then let?s get to work, partner.? Simeon chuckled.

Dear A-P,

It sounds as if you are going to have to prioritize what?s most important. Ration yourself, so to speak. Instead of giving your attention to one wife every night could you not make a booking to ?look after? their interests all on the same night? That way you?d have all the other nights of the week free to do all those chores that your wives seem to be complaining about!

Give them something to look forward to. Give them all numbers and let them hold a draw to see which of them gets this specialized attention first. That way you will seem much more important to them than a mere lowly manservant.

Otherwise, if you wi

 

?OK.? Mace scratched at the top of his shiny head. ?So what now??

Qui-Gon looked at his wrist chrono. He?d had no idea what the time was.

?Now you go home.? Jinn said evenly.
?What?? Windu looked momentarily confused. ?This is beginning to get interesting.?
?Boys with toys.? Sighed Leona.
?Oh, come on Qui-Gon. Just a couple more. Then we can call it quits for tonight.?

Hesitantly stealing a glance at Leona, Qui-Gon acquiesced.

?OK. A couple more and that?s it.? He waited until Leona had wandered a way into the kitchen area with the dirty cups before lowering his voice and saying under his breath ?Continue with this tomorrow, yes??
?You betcha!? Mace grinned.
Jinn smiled. ?So. Who next? Better make this quick. My padawan will most likely be back soon and I wouldn?t mind spending a little amount of time with?? He let his voice trail away.
?Of course. I understand.? Windu leered suggestively. ?Not ready for the bath chair and slippers yet, huh??
?Just get your over active imagination back where it belongs.? Qui-Gon pointed at the screen.
?OK, OK!? Mace gathered his thoughts and sat as still as a rock, with a deep furrow etched on his brow as he concentrated.

Leona came back in.

?Is he constipated or does he usually wear that expression?? She asked.
?He?s thinking.? Jinn smiled.
The healer shrugged. ?Constipation seems more likely.?
Windu glared up at her. ?How did you know I was consti?? He stopped as he saw Qui-Gon throw his head back again in laughter.
?I?m a healer, Master Windu. I?m s?posed to notice these things.? She winked at him. ?Prunes are very good for that sort of??
?Thank you.? He snapped.

*******************************

?I don?t know how they have the nerve!? Simeon let his jaw slacken as Letina gave a brief description of the antics in Jemmiah?s room.
?When the cat?s away the vrelts have a good time.? Quoted Letina.
?All the same.? Simeon felt the color mount in his face. ?We shouldn?t just stand here and let them??
?What do you suggest we do? Go in and watch? Give them marks out of ten for technical merit and artistic direction??
?No.? Simeon replied, affronted. He thought about it for a moment. ?We could get a glass and hold it to the wall??
?SIMEON!? Letina gasped.
?OK.? He grumbled. ?It was only an idea.?
?It was a very good one!? Letina smiled. ?Lets get a glass!?

Simeon fetched two tumblers from the fresher room and was just about to hand one over to Letina when another message came through on the Holonet.
?You answer this one.? Simeon waved her away. ?I want to play at being the pervert.?
?Why break the habit of a lifetime.? Letina grimaced as she read the message.
?Sith! It?it can?t be!? She motioned to Simeon with one hand.
?Ha! You don?t want to know what she just called him!? Cates snickered.
?Simeon, listen. We?ve got one from Sal-Fina!?
?You deal with it.? He said benevolently. ?I?m having fun here. Although not so much as some, it would seem.?

Letina gave up trying to persuade him and turned back to the screen.

Sal-Fina! Of all people!

 

Letina read and re-read the letter from Sal-Fina for the next ten minutes as she wondered how best to respond.

Dear Naughty Nell,

I have a big problem. Or rather, a small one.
You see, I find that after all these years of trying as many partners as possible (variety is the Spice of life), nobody measures up to my first boyfriend. Yes, lots of them have caught my eye in a variety of ways but I find my first love was incomparable. I?m really horrible to him all the time but that is just a mask to hide my true feelings for him. People have often cited my treatment of him as cold-hearted jealousy, but deep down I?m a really nice person. I?ve even been called a frigid witch by some of the heartless individuals in the temple but it?s not true.

I?m not frigid.

The other thing is that when I was young and foolish, I took part in a movie. The nature of this film was rather dubious and a number of the padawans have been trying to get hold of copies. What should I do?

Please help,

Yours,

S-F F.

?Phew!? Letina chuckled. ?No prizes for guessing who she was talking about!?

Simeon was about to answer when the door to the Jemmiah?s room opened and Obi-Wan strode forward purposefully towards the kitchen area, wearing his Jedi robe very loosely and by the glimpses of bare leg that Letina saw, not very much else. They watched in amazement as Kenobi foraged around in the refrigeration unit.

?Don?t mind me.? He said without looking round.
Simeon was so surprised that he nearly dropped the glass. ?What have you been up to?? He asked with a smirk.

Obi-Wan reached in for a bottle of chilled Corellian Scrumpi and then went to the storage unit for some glasses.

?Apologizing.? He replied, setting the glasses down on a tray. ?Got any of that Sand Dune Pizza left??
?Yeah.? Letina frowned.
?So. You were apologizing.? Simeon grinned. ?I?ve never yet heard an apology that contained the phrases ?Take me, I?m yours,? and ?couldn?t you take your socks off every once in a while.? Must have been some apology.?

Obi-Wan barely managed to keep his resolute expression as he grabbed half the cold pizza and placed it on the tray. Sith! He didn?t think they?d been making that much noise!

Then he spotted the glass in Simeon?s hand.

?If I find out that you were listening to my private?conversation...I will personally take that tumbler and make you swallow it.? He said in his precise accent.

Picking up the tray, he made his way back to Jemmy?s room.

?Now if you?ll excuse me, I feel my apology needs a little more work.?

With that, he closed the door silently behind him.

Simeon and Letina looked at each other. ?Sith!? Cates said after a moment, ?It?s a good thing I never mentioned what he said about her nails!?

 

Posted By SITH ABIGAIL:


Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow and pointed at Mace. "Ready to leave now?"
"Just one more! Come on, Qui-Gon, you can date Leona anytime, the Council's going to shut this down in a few days!" Mace gave puppy dog eyes, leaving Leona to burst into giggles.

"Fine. Just one though and then you're out!" Qui-Gon crossed his arms in an attempt to look stern but when Leona gave him a quick hug, it just gave the impression of a giant grumpy Teddy bear.
"Okay, okay. I'll type quick."

Dear Naughty Nell,

Well, I'm the most popular Padawan in the whole temple. The prettiest too, of course, but no need to go into that. If we wanted to talk about my looks we'd be here all night, that's how pretty I am, Nell!

Well, to the point, my wonderful Master has set me up on a date with a wealthy boy so she can date his Father. I don't like this boy, he's ugly! Plus, he has this bizarre obsession with cheese.

What can I do?

Padawan Ambianc-- Err, Anonymous Pretty Girl

 

?I?ll do Sal-Fina?s, you do Ambianca?s.? Letina instructed Simeon. ?Unless Kenobi?s intending on putting in another appearance, although I think the chances of him surfacing from his love nest are rather remote.?
?Can?t say I blame him.? Sighed Simeon deeply. ?Go on and type something then!?
?I?m thinking.? Letina retorted. ?You can?t rush a genius!?

Simeon leaned heavily on his hand in sheer idleness. ?You can?t rush a genius?? He repeated. ?Sith, we?re going to be here all night in your case??

Letina directed a small kick at his shins.

?That?s sexual harassment.? Simeon warned.
?You should be so lucky.?

Letina smirked as an idea suddenly took shape in her mind.

Dear S-F F,

Variety may well be the Spice of life, but I should warn you that dangerous levels of either could lead to addiction, nasty diseases and/or arrest. Incidentally, when you say nobody measures up to your first boyfriend, do you actually line them up with a tape measure?
I hope you warmed the metal bit up first.
You should be honest with yourself. By the sound of things, you are not a youngster any more. It might be that your memory is exaggerating your first love?s credentials. Stop fooling yourself. It?s time to stop looking backwards and move on to somebody else. If there?s anybody else left?
As for this holovid, you should relax. The chances of anything that old surfacing after all this time is highly unlikely. Although I should warn you that I know of somebody who has obtained a copy and is willing to negotiate terms with you. When you?ve agreed the final amount, just drop the credits off in a plasti-bag in the ladies freshers by the training rooms, last cubical on the right.

And don?t worry that there?s a copy in circulation at Scandalous Sam?s holoshop on the top shelf of the ?arts? section either.

Yours in naked admiration,

Naughty Nell.

Letina?s eyes shone. ?Isn?t it a good thing only the sender can receive this stuff!? she grinned.
?My turn again!? Simeon coughed politely.

Dear Anonymous Pretty girl,

Take pity on your poor, aging master! She?s going through what seems to be a mid life crisis! She?s only waiting to see if this man measures up to her first true love?

<From what I?ve seen there aren?t many that could> Letina thought to herself.

?If he doesn?t she might well make a play for his son, thus ridding you of cheese boy. Look on the bright side. You?ll never know if that smell is the cheese or his socks. If you and your master swapped dates, that might work out for the best.
Your date might like the more ?mature? type.

<Covered in unsightly blue veins> agreed Letina.

I?m quite certain that if we were to talk about your looks, we?d be here all night.

<Yeah, how do you spell ?Bow-Wow?, Simeon? > Letina grumbled inwardly.

You?d be the one talking, and I?d be the one with my eyes propped open by candy sticks, with keyboard imprints on my face.

Yours cheesefully,

Naughty Nell.

?Phew!? Simeon tapped in the final words and sent the message back to its sender. ?I need another drink!?

Letina said nothing. Instead she sat staring blankly at the screen in complete shock.

?Simeon,? she finally managed to say, ?do you remember when I said that this could only be read by the sender??
?Yes?? Cates wasn?t sure he liked where this was heading.
?It seems I?ve mad a tiny bit of an error.?

He spun round in the chair to face her.

?How much of an error is a tiny error?? He gulped.
?Well, let me put it this way. Although they still can?t find out who sent this stuff, it would appear that we?ve just?sent these messages to everybody!?
?WHAT!!!? Simeon shrieked.

Letina nodded.

?The whole of the temple can see what we?ve been sending.?

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

Angry, Garos decided to scan the frequencies on the temple surveillance systems to find out who this Agony Aunt was. Although really he already knew. It had to be Jemmiah, perhaps assisted by Kenobi and perhaps a few others as well.

He first checked Kenobis apartment. Nothing interesting there. On a chance, he tried Jemmiah's room.

Whoa, ok, time to change! He was a spy, not a pervert!

He tried the adjoining living room. Ahh, there we go!

Hunched over the computer was none other than Simeon and Letina, laughing hysterically. No doubt Jemmiah and Obi-Wan had been in on it too until they had found more...interesting...things to do.

He pulled the holo records of that room for the last twenty-four hours and left the room with the disk.

This would get him some good blackmail. Might even be able to cut himself a piece of the action!

If not, he'd just take it to Master Yoda...

Garos keyed the door, and Simeon answered it. "Hmiol?" He asked, giving Garos a strange look.
"Yes it's me, Naughty. Or are you Nell, I haven't quite figured it out yet."

Cates took a step back. "What do you want?"
"Revenge, pretty much. I tend to keep to myself, but not when I'm trampled on. Not only did I get caught up in your little scam, you apparently thought it would be funny to send my reply to everybody. My master laughed for ten minutes strait!" He pulled out the holo and started playing it. "But now I've got a little leverage, as you see here."

Letina took a step closer so she was next to Simeon. "We didn't know it was being sent to everybody, that was a mistake. Now what do you want for the holo?"
"Oh, I can think of a dozen things, but for now, just get out of my way and let me write." With a very pleased look on his face, Garos Hmiol sat behind the desk.
"But we haven't fixed the-"
"All the better. If I had to go through it, so can everybody else."

*Beep*

Dear Naughty Nell,

I have a problem. My favorite recipe, let us call it B stew, is an old family secret. I've been feeding it to my padawan for years, and he has recently expressed his dislike of it. I have a very large surplus of it built up, and I now have no idea what to do with it. Should I donate it to the Temple refectory? Or should I just force my padawan to eat it? It's rather nutritious, after all.

Hoping for help, FB

***

An evil gleam lit Hmiol?s eyes, and he began to laugh maniacally.

Simeon poked his head between Hmiol and the screen. "Um, Garos? You okay?"
Garos turned to look at him, making Cates take a few steps back. "You'd understand, if you'd ever had it."

He stopped laughing and began typing.

***

Dear FB,

Don't force him to eat it. That might be grounds for legal action.

As for the refectory, I wouldn't chance it. The stew might be incompatible with the human constitution in general. Or any constitution, for that matter.

If you're still looking for a way to use your surplus, I understand Master Yodas 'fresher has clogged pipes...

Chokingly yours, Naughty Nell

 

Posted by WAMPASMAK:

Garos sat up from the console. "Here, have a go." He snickered slightly at the thought of his master reading the reply. "I'll just go sit over here."

Simeon started to sit at the desk, but Letina stopped him.

"It's my turn, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. But don't you wanna fix it, first?"
Garos spoke up from behind them. "No. I don't think that would be fair to everyone you've already done it to." He tossed the holo playfully in his hands.
Letina turned to him. "How did you get that holo, anyway?"
"I have my ways."

She looked at him for a moment, searching for clues, then shrugged and turned back to the console. No hololetters came.

A loud thumping noise came from the adjoining bedroom. Garos turned with annoyance toward the door. "Are they almost done yet?"
"Wait a second, how did you know what they were doing?" Simeon looked with confusion at Hmiol.

"Same ways."

 

Evla trudged back home feeling fatigued and worn out. She was tired, but glad to be able to go back to her apartment earlier than she had expected. Night shifts usually meant just that, but fortunately for her an extra person had been coerced into taking some of the extra burden from her schedule. Jemmiah had expressed a rare desire to stay in that night. That had got Evla thinking?

*************************

?Who is there left to do?? Letina puzzled for a moment.
?Oh, Jay Abran. Junine. Tanni. Jaz. Master Berlingside?? Simeon thought it over briefly. ?Dimallie. We?ve not done her.?
?That?s a bit like kicking a helpless dumb animal.? Letina glanced at Hmiol, still with the holo in his hand. ?Evla! We could do her??
?And say what? ?Dear Naughty Nell, I think my flat is being haunted by a previous tenant. I frequently hear strange noises coming from the direction of my foster daughter?s room??
?Simeon!? Letina rebuked him. ?Don?t be disgusting.?
?Just telling the truth.? He replied. ?I think we should call it a night and do more of the same tomorrow.?
?Is this us or Obi and Jemmy?? Letina asked.
?Now who?s being disgusting?? Cates shot back. ?One thing?s for certain. I think there are going to be some extremely angry individuals out there all wishing to know who Naughty Nell is and ?does she like cold poison in her tea instead of sugar???
?Heck, yes.? Letina mumbled. ?I?m sorry about that. How bad do you think the reaction is going to be??
?On a scale of one to ten on the deathmometer?? Simeon chewed his lip. ?I?d say we?re past the mild roasting in hell and onto the eating Yoda?s stew for all eternity in purgatory stage.?
?I want in.? Hmiol said bluntly. ?If you do anyone else tomorrow, I want in.?
?Or else?? Letina hazarded.
?You know what will happen.? Garos smiled boldly.
?I can?t speak for those two.? She indicated the couple through in the bedroom.
?I?m sure I can persuade them.? Hmiol tried an innocent expression and failed miserably. ?I have a holo that Master Jinn might find interesting.?
?YOU HAVEN?T?!?? Letina gulped.
?How much do you want for it?? Simeon almost cheered.

They were interrupted by the sound of the door activating.

?Master Sovalla.? Stammered Letina.

Evla looked surprised to see the threesome standing by the Holonet terminal.

?What?s going on?? She asked cautiously, looking around the room for damage and disarray.
?We?re looking at that Naughty Nell thing.? Letina replied truthfully. ?Apparently everyone in the temple?s been trying to see if they can find out who it is.?
?That?s nice.? Evla sighed, trying to rub the stiffness from her neck. ?Any luck??
?Not a clue.? Hmiol replied. ?They seem to be an expert in covering their tracks. Whoever they are.?
?They?ll be in hot water when the council catches up with them, that?s for sure.? Evla muttered, loosing her long hair. ?Yoda doesn?t take too kindly to that sort of thing.?

The three padawans eyed each other uncomfortably.

?Where?s Jemmiah?? Evla frowned. ?Didn?t she stay in??
?NO!? Shouted Simeon.
?YES!? Shouted Letina at the same time.

Evla became confused. ?She can?t be both.?
?She was out earlier but she?s in now.? Letina said in relief at recovering the mistake. ?She went for a lie down. She?s got a really bad headache.?
?Really?? Evla?s face betrayed her concern. ?That?s not like her. I?ll go and see if she?s alright??
?NO!? Simeon gulped. ?She asked not to be disturbed, MASTER SOVALLA.?
?Why are you speaking so loudly?? Evla asked.
?I?m not speaking loudly MASTER SOVALLA.? He repeated.

She looked at him as if he?d gone crazy.

?Fine. If you say so.? She shrugged. ?I?ll go take her some headache tablets.?
?No need!? Letina blurted out. ?Simeon?s already done so.? She pointed at the glass in Cate?s hand.

Evla was sure something was going on.

?If she?s that bad, maybe I should call the healers and have someone take a look at her.? The master looked from Simeon to Letina.

Help, thought Simeon!

?I think I?ll be going.? Hmiol smiled. ?Same time tomorrow then??
?Yea

 

?Out!? Qui-Gon said, herding Mace backward to the door. ?It?s time for Council members to be in their bed.?
?I didn?t know you cared.? Windu smiled.
?I don?t. I just want you out.? Qui-Gon started to push him slowly with the force.
?OK, OK.? Mace held up a hand to admit defeat. ?I?m going!?

In the background he could see Leona impatiently hovering as Qui-Gon continued to shoo him away.

?I?m sorry if I kept you and your lady love apart.?
?Don?t be sorry. Just go.? Jinn grinned.
?Same time tomorrow?? whispered Windu.
?Fine.? Agreed Qui-Gon, almost closing Mace?s nose in the door.

Jinn turned and faced Leona.

?Where were we??

***********************************

?Out!? Evla drummed her fingers against the glass.

Obi-Wan sheepishly rolled the covers back from his face and turned his eyes upwards to face Jemmiah?s guardian.

?Hello.? He gulped.
?Is that all you?ve got to say for yourself?? Evla breathed.

Obi-Wan hurriedly considered what to do next. He could apologize profusely. He could take all the blame himself. He could make numerous excuses for what just happened.

He couldn?t do it.

?Er?I can?t think of anything to say.? He admitted.
?Really.? Evla said dryly. ?Then maybe I should ask HER.? She turned to face a rather shame faced Jemmiah.
?I didn?t think you were coming back so soon.? She replied.
?Is that it?? Evla asked.

Jemmiah nodded.

?Then perhaps I should have a little talk with Master Jinn and see what he thinks.?
?No, don?t do that!? Jemmiah said.
?And why not?? Evla asked. ?I?ve obviously got no control over you.?
?Because he?ll get angry with Obi-Wan.?
?I should think he will, yes.? Evla glared at Obi-Wan. ?I thought I asked you to stay out of this room??
?We didn?t plan this, really.? Obi-Wan mumbled. ?I just wanted to speak to Jemmy and apologize for making her hit me. And we sort of ?got carried away.?
?Don?t bother telling me this is the first time you two have been having secret assignations. I have eyes. I do notice things.?
?I wasn?t trying to say that??

Evla sighed.

?We?ll discuss this when we?ve all calmed down.? She looked backwards and forwards between the two embarrassed faces. ?Get up, Kenobi.?

Obi-Wan gave a short nervous laugh. ?Could?could you pass me my pants, please??

***********************************

?I don?t think we shielded him well enough.? Simeon admitted as he heard Obi-Wan?s voice in a stilted conversation with Master Sovalla.
?I think we should leave.? Letina agreed. ?Something tells me that Naughty Nell is getting hauled over hot coals.?
?It looks like Naughty Nell was just too gosh darned naughty.? Cates grinned. ?Pity about having to let Hmiol in on it.?
?I?m sure Jemmy will sort him out.? Letina said under her breath. ?Her mind?s always turning.?
?I should think her stomach?s turning now that Evla?s caught up with her.? Simeon blew out a deep breath. ?Let?s get out of here before she turns him into Bantha fodder.?

As they closed the door behind them Letina asked the question that had been on her mind for some time.

?What did he say about her nails??

*********************************

Evla regarded the rather sorry looking padawan as he underwent the traditional parental reading of the riot act.

?I do care about her.? Obi-Wan said indignantly. ?I know there?s been a lot of trouble with Kryztan??
?A lot of it your fault.? Evla replied.
?If you only knew the half of it.? Kenobi mumbled. ?I got my hand broken in four places defending her. I don?t do that for just any old person. A trip to the healers is never that big a priority for me.?
?I believe you.? Evla said.
?Y-you do??
?Yes. Now go home. I have to talk to someone else now.?
Obi-Wan gulped. ?Don?t be too hard on her, please.?
?Maybe I?ll ask your master what I should say? Evla stated archly.
?P-perhaps I should just go.? Kenobi felt his mouth turn very dry.
?Smart thinking.? Evla nodded as Obi-Wan made to leave.

She saw him hover by the table.

?Can?can I have that last piece of Sand Dune Pizza?? He

 

?What?s your excuse?? Evla sat on the end of Jemmiah?s bed.
?Can I have that glass of water?? Jemmy replied, looking as unsure of herself as Evla had ever seen her.
?Here.? The crèche master handed her the container over. ?You?re lucky I don?t throw it on you.?

Jemmiah took the glass and squirmed uncomfortably.

?We don?t get a chance to be alone.? She frowned as she sipped at her drink.
?Alone?!?? Evla?s voice soared. ?With Simeon and Letina and Garos next door??
?I could whine and say it?s not fair, but that probably wouldn?t get me any where, would it??
?Nope.? Evla admitted.
?Everywhere we go it?s the same. Master Jinn doesn?t like us being together. He says he accepts it but he hates the idea, so he just tries to stop us from seeing each other.? She looked at her guardian with a pitiful expression. ?You know that?s true.?
?Yes, well.? Evla sighed. ?I can understand how you feel but to sneak behind my back like that??
?What else can I do?? Jemmiah replied in a hurt voice. ?I don?t like sneakin? around either but you?ve made it quite clear that Ben?s about as welcome here as I am at Master Jinn?s place at the moment.?
?Oh, that?s unfair!? Evla retorted. ?You know I can?t openly let you and Obi-Wan?you know?at our apartment.?
?We can?t?you know? ANYWHERE, openly or otherwise!? Jemmiah said in frustration.
?If Qui-Gon were to find out that I had encouraged??
?There you go. Qui-Gon. Always it comes back to Master Jinn! Didn?t he ever do anything remotely normal when he was younger??
?Oh, yes. Yes he did.? Evla smiled thinly. ?That?s precisely why he doesn?t want to see you and his padawan make the same mistakes.?
?Sal-Fina.? Snorted Jemmiah. ?I wouldn?t call her normal.?
?Actually, I wasn?t referring to Sal-Fina.? Evla muttered, embarrassed.

There was a pause that lasted a few brief seconds before being superseded by an ear-splitting shriek.

?You! Master Jinn and you!? Jemmiah threw her head back and laughed. ?Oh, please! This is a joke!?
?Excuse me.? Evla rapped her hard on her bare leg. ?I?m as warm blooded as any other human female I can mention.?
?I?m in shock.? Jemmiah admitted and took another large drink of water. She screwed up her face. ?This stuff never tastes the same without brandy in it.?
?I can?t believe I?m telling you this.? Evla replied. ?I?m the one in need of a stiff drink!?
?Oooh, is there any juicy gossip! Do tell!? Jemmiah leaned in close.

Sighing, Evla summoned the courage to speak.

?Qui-Gon had a bit of a funny relationship with Sal-Fina. He?d also been seeing Vernice as well??
?VERNICE ASHDAL!? Jemmiah clapped her hands together in delight. ?YES!!!?
?Quiet!? hushed Evla. ?I was sixteen and he was twenty five.?
?Disgraceful!? The Corellian girl crowed.
?Sal-Fina was a bit of a flirt. Qui-Gon knew she was seeing other people so he didn?t see why he shouldn?t do the same. And it went on like that for about five years. All the time she thought he was being the dutiful boyfriend whilst she was playing around. So it did her ego no good at all when she discovered he was seeing other girls.?
?And how did she find out?? Jemmiah asked, amazed at the story.

Evla looked somewhat abashed. ?She found the two of us together?? she indicated the bed.
?What I wouldn?t have given to have been a fly on the wall!? Jemmiah?s eyes glowed. ?Maybe Qui-Gon?s not so frosty after all!?
?Don?t you dare say anything.? Evla looked mortified. ?Qui-Gon would never speak to me again.?
?He hardly speaks to ME. I don?t understand him. One minute he?s fine and the next it?s like he doesn?t want to know me.?
?Well. Sal-Fina really messed him about. He just doesn?t want to see the same thing happen to his padawan.?
?Are you likening me to?that creature?? Jemmiah looked outraged. ?I?ve never been so insulted in my entire life! She?s like a Giant Mantis!?

Evla raised an eyebrow.

?I am NOT like that.? Jemmiah huffed. ?I can?t help it if people find me attractive!?
?Obi-Wan would agree with you, evidently.? Evla said in a clipped voice. ?Just what was he wearing on his no

 

When Qui-Gon received no answer from his padawan he took that as a sign that his suspicions were correct.

?Padawan?? He growled.
?M-master.? Stammered the young man as he dared to look Qui-Gon in the face.

Jinn strode forwards and jabbed a finger at the chemise. ?Do you have an explanation for that, or do I assume the worst??
?I?ve got no idea how that got there!? Obi-Wan said honestly. ?It certainly wasn?t there when I was dressing??

His eyes went round when he realized what he had said.

?Whoops!? He laughed apprehensively.
?WHOOPS?? Qui-Gon was taken utterly aback. ?Is that all you can say for yourself??

Kenobi shrugged and looked at the floor.

?That better not belong to who I think it belongs, padawan. Or I am going to get very upset.?

Obi-Wan?s courage soared unexpectedly. ?What did you expect, master? We?ve been going out for over two months now. If YOU'RE not prepared to be celibate,? he indicated Leona with his hand, ?then I don?t see why I should.?

Leona flushed a crimson color and Qui-Gon dealt Obi-Wan a look that shot a bolt of fear into his heart.

?We are not talking about me!? Qui-Gon was furious. ?We are talking about you!?
?Master, I am twenty years old! I?m not a monk! And I?ve just had this conversation with Evla, who is probably in the process of murdering Jemmy as we speak.?
?I should think she is.? Jinn said menacingly as he reached out a hand at lightening speed to snatch away the telltale undergarment. ?Now I want to know exactly what went on.?
Obi-Wan frowned. ?I?m sure you don?t need me for that, master. Leona can probably show you for yourself. If you ask her nicely.?
?Padawan!? Qui-Gon scolded.

?I?m going to bed, master. I?m sure you?ll be wanting to berate my moral standards some more in the morning so if you don?t mind I?ll call it a night.? Kenobi winked and put a hand to his back. ?I am feeling rather tired and I?ve got to put some ointment on my scratches. Goodnight, Leona.?

Obi-Wan left his open-mouthed master gaping as he turned and headed for his room.

?For the record,? he looked resolutely towards his master, ?I do not feel remotely guilty and I don?t regret anything that I have done tonight.? He entered the bedchamber and then turned round, a grin on his face.

?Or any other night.?

 

We almost to the end yet? I have a new post ready with some Garos/Simeon interaction (Which is always fun to do). It also tells a little bit more about the system Hmiol uses.

Oh, and where is RTP? I was gonna redo Hmiol and Biwo's profiles, as the characters have gone through a lot of development lately. But I can't find the thread.

 

Qui-Gon made a determined march towards Obi-Wan?s door, but Leona steadied him with a hand against his arm.

?Don?t say something you might regret.? She said quietly. ?Discuss it with him tomorrow when you?ve both had time to calm down.?
?THAT was blatant disrespect.? Jinn glared in the direction his padawan had taken.
?I agree.? Leona nodded. ?But he doesn?t know how else to get your attention.?
?My attention?? Qui-Gon frowned. ?He gets that constantly. It?s my job to bring him up, teach him, guide him??
?But you won?t hear what he says.? Leona surprised herself with her own persistence. ?They are both responsible young adults.?

Jinn snorted.

?OK. They are both adults.? Leona amended with a smile. ?They also care about each other very much.?
?It?s a nightmare.? Qui-Gon shook his head.
?I know how you feel. It?s understandable. But you have to let them make their own choices. If that means they choose each other then so be it.?

Qui-Gon sighed. ?I?ve watched over those two now for more years than I care to admit to. What on Coruscant possessed them to start dating??
?You can?t control how you feel.? Leona watched the tall master sit back down on the couch. ?That?s what makes you alive. What made you decide to take Obi-Wan as your apprentice even though you didn?t want to at first.?

Qui-Gon shrugged. ?I don?t know. It was the will of the force, I suppose. I just ignored what it was telling me.?

?And why did you chose to take Jemmiah in when you could have passed her over to some children?s orphanage??
?I couldn?t do that!? Qui-Gon looked stung. ?That was out of the question.?
?Why? It would have been easier, wouldn?t it? Or better still you could have left her behind??
?If you had been there you wouldn?t have said that.? The master shuddered at the memory. ?It was the will of??
?The force?? Leona smiled. ?Then let me ask you this, Qui-Gon.? She reached for his hand. ?What makes you think for a moment that the force isn?t telling those two youngsters to be with each other? What if the reason you took Obi-Wan as your padawan and Jemmiah as your custodial ward was because the force has some unseen reason for drawing them together??

Qui-Gon looked amazed.

?What if they are just meant to be a couple? You?re the one who is so fond of saying that things happen for a reason. Say they get married in the distant future. Who says they won?t have children of their own? What if those children were destined to become very special Jedi? Who?s to say??

She could see the idea sinking into his head, although his expression remained a mixture of skepticism and bafflement.

?If you stop them from being together, you could be averting the course of history.? Leona smiled, pleased at having won the argument. ?If it?s meant to be, then it?s going to happen anyway. Might as well get used to it.?

Jinn closed his eyes. The whole thing was making his head ache as his thoughts went over and over what Leona had said. He?d always believed in the will of the force making itself known over a course of time. Some times it was easy to recognize; other times it was intangible. Leona had confirmed with her eloquent dialogue something that had been preying at the back of his mind for some time: the fact that from the day they had first met, something had been drawing the ?gruesome twosome? (as they were jokingly known by the other padawans) together. And if it were the case, all he was doing was trying to deflect what may well be inevitable. Like Bandomeer. Like Nargotria. Rela had told him as much time and time again?

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose in weary fashion.

?Fine.? He said reluctantly. ?Let them do as they please.?

Leona blinked.

?Sorry?? She ventured.
?I said let them do as they want. I?m still going to speak to Obi-Wan about both his disrespect and the need to be a little more discreet.?
?You?re going to agree to them going out officially? Doing the sort of things that couples tend to do?? Leona still could not believe it.

?Yes.? Qui-Gon paused for a moment. ?He doesn?t have to kno

 

Hmiol scanned the system, checking to see if there was any new information to be had. He was about to switch it off when he came to the council chamber. Yoda was talking to two other masters, Garos couldn't recall their names.

"A feeling, I have. Check Master Evla's computer. Find what you need, you shall there."

Hmiol turned off the console in horror. Oh, no. Master Yoda was on to it! Or at least, he had a hunch. Garos figured he had ten minutes to erase the files off Jemmiahs records or they were all down, him included. Except.... He didn't know where the files were in the first place.

He started to reach for the comm, when he heard his masters voice from the other room. Master Biwo was already on!

He quickly considered his options. Jemmiah and Kenobi were probably still being grilled, and Letina was too far away, that left...

The one person he did NOT want to see. Especially after he'd found out who had typed his reply. But then, he didn't have much of a choice.

He started toward Simeon's quarters.
***

Simeon moved to answer the door quickly as the buzzer rang again and again.

"Allright, allright, I'm coming, stop ringing, for..." The door slid open to reveal Garos.

"What now?" He asked with annoyance.

"Look, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but Master Yoda's gonna check Jemmiah's computer." He ran into the apartment and toward the console. "We've got about five minutes to erase those files or we're all cooked!"

"SITH!" Simeon rushed to the desk. Sitting down and opening a link to Jemmiah's computer she had given him yesterday for just such an occurrence, he began to delete the files that proved their guilt. Two minutes later, it was over. Simeon leaned back in the chair and sighed. "Garos?" He called to Hmiol, who was turning to leave. "How did you know Yoda was gonna check Jemmy's files?"

"Same way I got the holos." Hmiol tossed over his shoulder.

"Which is?"

Garos stopped and turned around. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"That's no answer."

Hmiol began to turn again, but a thought came to him. Why not? Won't hurt anything...

He moved to the desk, and Simeon stood. Garos sat and began to type, opening hololink after hololink and typing in at least five long passwords, and finally the program came up.

"What is this...?" Cates asked in amazement as he looked at it.

"Up until about fifty years ago there was an old surveillance system in the temple. Then Master Yoda decided that it was an unnesscary use of power, saying he could trust the Jedi to detect anything wrong in the Temple. It took some work," And credits... Hmiol added silently, "But I got the system running again. And now I know everything that goes on in the temple."

"So you use it to blackmail people?"

Garos shrugged. "Not unless they started it."

"Ok, so you sell the footage?"

"Nope."

"Then why?"

Hmiol smiled. "Just to have it. I like to know what's going on. Knowledge is power, as they say."

Simeon glanced at him slyly. "You know, I could tell the Masters about this. I bet they'd be-"

"Forget it. You could never prove anything. The system isn't even there until I call for it."

"huh" He reached for the keyboard, a gleam lighting his eyes. "Mind if I check a few things?"

"Grow up, Cates." said Hmiol as he shut the system down, knowing exactly what kind of, "Checking" Simeon was planning.

 

Nice to see Qui-Gon give a little!! Although if he'd been in Evla's shoes I don't think he'd be as quick to give ground!

Are they going to continue Naughty Nell, or will the close call put them off? And will there be a grudging truce between Simeon and Garos?

 

This is getting very interesting!

I'm gald Qui-Gon's warming up to the idea of Ben and Jemmiah too. I was also pleased to Obi-Wan take a stand ~ 'bout time!

 

Is there more? What comes next? Do they get caught?

We need more!

 

?I think we need to have a little?chat.? Qui-Gon said carefully.

Obi-Wan squashed the soaring panic that threatened to spill over. This couldn?t get any worse.

?Master, before you say anything I?d just like to say a few words.? Obi-Wan looked shamefaced at the table surface.
?Go on.? Jinn said, watching him as he poured the tea.

?I?er. It?s a bit difficult to know where to start.? He hesitated whilst stealing a furtive glance at his master.

Or soon to be ex-master, if he didn?t get this right?

?I?m sure you?ll find a way. You usually do.? Qui-Gon answered evenly before taking a drink. ?After all, you?ve become quite skilful in making little speeches lately, haven?t you.?

Qui-Gon thought he saw his padawan?s face drain entirely of blood. Yes, it was cruel.

But he was enjoying himself.

Obi-Wan appeared to have dried up completely. The words of apology were not so much dying unsaid on his lips but not even forming in his mind.

?Sith.? He mumbled.
?That?s what you wanted to say?? Qui-Gon challenged with a raised eyebrow. ?Well, if you?re done, I have a little speech of my own to make.?

That spurred Obi-Wan into action.

?I?I just wanted to apologize for my somewhat rude behaviour to you and Leona last night.? He stammered. ?It wasn?t polite and it wasn?t called for.?
?You can say that again.? Was Qui-Gon?s only comment.

Obi-Wan continued. ?I shall apologize to Leona later this morning.?
?Yes, you will.? Jinn nodded. ?Was there anything else??

?Er, yes. I shouldn?t have been so impudent. I know you?ve got my best interests at heart and that when you set me all these unfair and horrible rules by which to abide, you are only doing it for my sake.?

Qui-Gon frowned. He hadn?t expected that!

?I never actually planned to sneak behind your back. Not just for fear of getting caught but because of all the bad blood between us afterwards. I don?t like it. But sometimes you don?t give me a choice.?
?There?s always a choice.? Jinn replied.
?Master, I?m not stupid. I?m not silly. I?m not irresponsible??
?And last night wasn?t irresponsible?? Challenged Qui-Gon.
?Well, maybe a little.? Conceded Kenobi. ?But at the risk of sounding like some lovesick whiny brat I happen to care very deeply about Jemmy. Why can?t you see that??

?Are you sure this isn?t just a passing fancy?? Qui-Gon wondered outloud as he reached for the griddlecakes.
?I?m not like that!? Obi-Wan realized his voice was beginning to climb and piped down suddenly.
?Obi-Wan, I could give you a list of all the females in the temple and a few not residing within these walls that have had your hormones raging in the past five years.? Qui-Gon pointed out.

Kenobi opened his mouth to deny it but knew that it would be both futile and also a downright lie. ?She?s special.? He replied in an embarrassed tone that almost had Qui-Gon laughing at the young man?s discomfort.

?I AM very sorry for my lack of disrespect. I will apologize profusely if it means that you will forgive my lack of decorum.? He looked at his master?s unreadable face and felt both guilt and fear travel up and down his body. ?Please master, d?don?t let the council send me away. I couldn?t stand it, not after all these years. I?ll do nearly anything!?

Qui-Gon stared at Obi-Wan in total surprise. Had he REALLY thought that he would?surely he hadn?t given that idea any real consideration? And if he had, what did that say about their bond? This whole darned affair had gone on too long. They were ALL suffering because of it. Jinn sighed, and to his dismay Obi-Wan seemed to take that as a sign that things were not looking too favorable for him.

?Please master, I really am sorry. Look, I?ll do anything if you?d just let me see Jemmy every now and again. I?ll make breakfast for a year. I?ll clean the fresher out for two years. I?ll even put my socks in the laundry basket instead of leaving them on the floor??
?They never make it as far as the laundry basket.? Qui-Gon pointed out. ?Usually because they are welded to your feet.?

Obi-Wan looked down at the ta

 

Hmmp... I could see a temporary truce between Cates and Hmiol, but I don't think they'll be friends anytime soon. It's just too much fun to write scenes with this mutually antagonistic duo!!

 

?Goooooooooooooooood morning!? Jemmiah whistled cheerily as she entered the dining area.
?Is it?? Evla asked her as the Corellian girl helped herself to a piece of cut bread.
?Where?s the treacle?? Jemmy smiled.

Evla watched her as she wandered round in her dressing gown, hair swept back into a towel, save for a few wet strands of chestnut falling as a dampened, wispy fringe.

?You?ve eaten most of it.? The crèche master said ironically. ?Or Obi-Wan has.?

Jemmiah?s smile became a grin.

?Don?t get any ideas about continuing where you left off last night, do you hear me?? Evla sipped at her glass of fruit juice.
?Spoil-sport.? Jemmiah sighed. ?I wish you and Qui-Gon would lighten up just a little bit. It?s not good to get so uptight.?
?I?m NOT uptight.? Evla insisted. ?Just concerned.?
?There?s no need.?
?On what I saw yesterday, there?s every need.? Evla retorted. ?Just be careful, that?s all.?
?I?m a big girl now. I can look after myself.? Jemmiah scraped futilely at the remains of the treacle for a moment. ?What?s your routine for today??
?Morning stint of three hours. All the afternoon off. Night shift again from eight until VERY late. Or should that read morning??

Evla saw the sly smirk at the side of Jemmiah?s mouth.

?You?re trying to get rid of me, aren?t you?? She frowned. ?I mean it. I?m NOT making waves with Qui-Gon.?

Jemmiah swore. ?This is the start of one sith of a day!? She moaned.
?You think that?s bad? Try looking after the crèche children for a day and a night.?
?I did. I got measles, remember??
?Well, maybe now you?ll understand that it?s not all a bed of roses.?
?But you like kids.? Jemmiah snorted. ?Can?t think why. I hate ?em.?
?You say that now, but they?ll come a time when??
?Nope.? Jemmiah was adamant. ?I can?t think why anybody would have ?em. They?re not even remotely funny. They ruin your figure, they ruin your social life and they ruin your clothing by throwing up all over it.?

Evla shook her head. ?How cynical for one so young.?

The holo terminal chirped into life. ?Bit early for a call.? Evla wondered.

Jemmiah shrugged and wandered over to see who it was.

?Ben?? She blinked, adjusting the towel on her head. ?Why are you out of your pit??
?Yes, very funny.? Obi-Wan nodded. ?I?ve got some news. Qui-Gon?s in the fresher.?
?That?s news?? Jemmy frowned. ?What are you going to do, sell tickets or something??

Kenobi sighed. ?I?m taking the opportunity of calling whilst he?s not here.? He paused self-importantly. ?Qui-Gon says we can see each other when we want. No hassles.?

Jemmiah looked stunned. ?Run that by me one more time.?
?I said. Qui-Gon?s allowing us to see each other when we want.?
?That?s what I thought you said.? Jemmiah grinned, waving at Evla in triumph. ?How does eight tonight grab you??
?Don?t push your luck, missy.? Evla growled.
?Ben this is wonderful!? Jemmiah beamed. ?What changed his mind??
?That?s just the thing.? Obi-Wan considered. ?I yelled at him, and the next day he?s telling us to see each other as we please. Although between you and me, I think Leona might have had a hand in it.?
?A hand in what?? Jemmiah grinned wickedly.
?Don?t be crude.? Evla reprimanded her foster daughter.

?He knows about us last night.? Obi-Wan confessed.
?I should think everyone does by now.? Evla muttered. ?Especially if Simeon?s got anything to do with it.?

Jemmiah groaned. ?How??
?He found your chemise tucked into my tunic bottoms.?
?Oh, yeah. I wondered where it had got to.? She smiled. ?I thought some sex maniac had come into my room and taken it.?
?It appears you were right.? Evla said dryly.

?Look, I can hear him coming out of the fresher. I?d better go. Oh, what about the other thing we were doing last night. Ready for round two??
?There?s something else I should know about?? Evla folded her arms.
?N-no. Nothing like that.? Kenobi gulped.
?I?m ready and willing.? Jemmy winked at him. ?Don?t be too naughty.?
?I?ll speak to you later.? He hurried, looking over his shoulder. ?I have to go clean the fresher out.?
?

 

Poor Qui-Gon! He always seems to be put in these positions by Jemmy (no pun intended!).

Very hilarious!!