A Promise Kept: A Young Anakin/Obi-Wan Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by MoonScribe, Feb 4, 2001.

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  1. MoonScribe Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2000
    star 1
    This was one of the first fanfics I ever wrote! Hope you like it!


    Title of Story: A Promise Kept: A Young Anakin/Obi-Wan Story
    Author: Moonscribe
    Rating: G
    Summary: A few months after Qui-Gon's death, Obi-Wan tries to come to terms with having Anakin as his apprentice.
    Disclaimer: All characters are owned by LucasArts and affiliates and no infringement is intended by this story. This story is purely for entertainment purposes only and no profit is made by its creation.


    Obi-Wan Kenobi leapt into the air and flipped over the barrier. He landed on his feet and immediately ignited his lightsaber. He slashed left, right, behind. Training bots exploded into blazing pieces of metal. The Force flowed through him as he attacked the oncoming bots. Sweat poured down his face. Fatigue burned the muscles in his arms and legs, but he pressed on until there was nothing in the universe but himself and the lightsaber he held in his hands.

    With a final stroke of his blade, Obi-Wan destroyed the last of the training bots. He deactivated the lightsaber and stood breathing deeply in the cavernous training center in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. His arms and legs trembled slightly from his exertion,

    "Quite a mess you've made here."

    The voice came from behind Obi-Wan. He turned. Mace Windu strode toward him through the debris. He was carrying a towel in one hand. He offered it to Obi-Wan

    "Thank you, Master." Obi-Wan clipped the lightsaber to his belt and took the towel from Windu. He wiped his face and neck.

    Windu glanced at the lightsaber hanging from Obi-Wan's belt.

    "I see you are still using Master Qui-Gon's lightsaber," he said.

    "It's not forbidden, is it?"

    Obi-Wan immediately regretted his words, for there was a note of challenge in his voice he had not meant to express. If Windu heard it, he gave no sign, except for a slight raising of his left eyebrow as he regarded Obi-Wan.

    "No, it is not forbidden, but usually it is customary that when a Jedi loses his lightsaber, he construct another to take it's place."

    "I know, Master. I've been very busy with Anakin's training. I haven't had time to construct a new lightsaber. And, I---" but Obi-Wan could not speak the rest of the words which swelled in his heart. This was Qui-Gon's lightsaber, the very lightsaber Obi-Wan had drawn to himself at that last desperate moment in the melting pit on Naboo, when the Sith warrior, triumphant above him, had watched with malicious glee as Obi-Wan had dangled beneath him.

    Hanging there, sensing his Master's life ebbing away, knowing his own death was imminent, Obi-Wan had summoned from deep within the Force the strength and the will to leap from that pit, reach for Qui-Gon's lightsaber where it lay near his Master's feet, ignite it even as he soared through the air toward the Sith, and use it to kill the dark warrior. Qui-Gon's lightsaber had saved his life. To replace it with another seemed blasphemous to Obi-Wan.

    Obi-Wan avoided Windu's eyes as he walked towards the control console on the walls of the training hall. He activated the machinery which would sweep up the shattered pieces of the training bots and transfer them to the recycling plant where they would be used to construct new bots.

    He hoped Windu would not think he was being rude or disrespectful, but Obi-Wan still found it difficult to talk with anyone about that final battle in the bowels of the Queen's palace on Naboo. He had, of course, given a report to the Council of all that had taken place during the final duel with the Sith warrior, but he had not allowed any emotion to color his descriptions, no feelings to shade his observations. He had been clinical, detached, composed.

    The machinery hummed and throbbed about Obi-Wan as he turned back towards Windu.

    "Was there something you wanted to see me about, Master?" he asked.

    "Yes, Obi-Wan. It's concerning young Skywalker. Come to the Crystal Chamber at the hour of the Ninth Bell. Yoda and I will be waiting for you."

  2. jodiwent Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    That was good, I enjoyed reading it. I like the way you describe things. I liked the whole pet part.
  3. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I agree with Jodiwent. That was delightful.

    I liked how you described Obi-Wan preferring something not as riotous as the zooilogical gardens but enjoyed the balcony outside the HIgh Council chambers.

    And I loved the tsrup!
  4. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Yes, Jodiwent likes pets. You should read "Luminous Beings", Moon Scribe, because Jodiwent has a long section there involving Obi-Wan and a pet linaxus. It's a long story, but definitely worth the read--funny and heartwarming!

    I liked this story! I felt sorry for Obi-Wan at the beginning, faced with such a challenging pupil, and also having to deal with the loss of his own master and sometimes wishing he'd never made the promise to train Anakin. The part where the tsrup caught the fish and ate it was great! Laughter seems to be the best medicine in many different ways--it certainly brought Anakin and Obi-Wan closer together. The ending was good, too, where Anakin showed that he wasn't just learning superficially, but was really understanding what Obi-Wan wanted to teach him. Good job!
  5. Senni_Arava Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 3
    <<waits impatiently for something else by Moonscribe>>
  6. MoonScribe Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks everyone! Yes, I'll defintely check out "Luminous Beings". I have one more early story which is about Amidala which I'll post tomorrow. Thanks for reading!
  7. princess-sari Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2000
    star 4
    That was great, MoonScribe!! (Not that I expected any less.) ;)
    I loved the way Obi-Wan still didn't feel connected to Anakin, even though he made that promise to Qui-Gon and stood up to the Council to fulfill it. It was very realistic that he needed time to get used to the idea of becoming Anakin's Master--or a Master at all for that matter. And I agree with Jane--laughter *is* very often the best medicine.

    I'll be watching for that other story tomorrow!!
  8. MoonScribe Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks princess_sari. Yes, I agree, laughter is the best medicine. :)
  9. KnightMara Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 1999
    star 4
    Having shamefully uhm, *cough* lurked *cough* on your previous thread, I felt compelled to reply to this one. I'm not a fan of JA, but your stories have pulled me in anyway. Your writing is very touching, laced with humor and a sense of reality. Your descriptions are also perfect, and your characterizations are well constructed.

    Like others, I am anxiously awaiting more of your stories (even if they are JA) :)
  10. MoonScribe Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2000
    star 1
    Thanks KnightMara for your very kind words. I'm glad you liked my stories. I have one more to post and that will be it for the fanfic I've written so far. That story will be called "The Birth of a New Hope" and is about Amidala. It's about the same length as this one, so it's not very long. I'll post it sometime this evening. Thanks all for reading. I hope to write more fanfic in the future.
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