Beyond A Promise Kept -- Part Two (2012 Calendar Challenge -- February) [Leap] - Updated 03/05

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ceillean, Jan 4, 2012.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Ceillean Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2001
    star 5
    Title: A step in the right direction
    Author: Ceillean
    Characters: Kyp Durron
    Timeline: a few years before the Vong war
    Notes: Written for the 2012 Calendar Challenge. The theme for January is "Resolutions". I chose Kyp because I've always wondered what happened to his character between his last appearance and Vector Prime. Whatever happened to the kid from Kessel and how in the world did he turn into the jerk he is during NJO?
    This is the start of an inner change, I suppose. Enjoy. :)





    Drayven Alden swallows.

    It?s the only indication that a professional newscaster such as Drayven Alden is affected by what?s happening around him. He doesn?t blink, he doesn?t frown, he doesn?t move. All he does is swallow, the slightest, obvious, movement underneath his chin. A two second pause, that?s it.

    More than enough to make me want to throw the vid screen across the room.

    I sit forward, elbows on my knees, hands clenched tightly together as I stare at Drayven Alden?s wrinkled face, a face associated with galactic news but also associated with truth.

    He is one of few reporters who tells it like it is, one of few who never holds back, sometimes even putting his life on the line in the process.

    Drayven Alden is out in a war zone, a reporter of over twenty years.

    Not a soldier, no.

    A reporter.

    And the Jedi sit idly by, twiddling their thumbs, while innocent individuals are slaughtered.

    I get up from the cushioned chair and send out a burst of energy through the Force. The vid screen shuts off, leaving behind a deafening silence. Miko stands in the corner, one foot perched against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He looks at me, watches as I pace the length of the small living area. I sense he has something to say, he always does, but he holds his tongue.

    Very wise.

    The door opens behind me. Ganner Rhysode steps over the threshold, having to duck through so he doesn?t bump his head against the frame. He makes heads turn when he enters a room because he walks with an air of arrogance and strong-will.

    Behind him Wurth Skidder enters with a grin. He?s young and cocky but he?s a good kid with a good heart. Wurth hides behind Ganner?s tall frame and I hear his muffled voice as he asks with a smile. ?Is it okay to come in? Because you?re angry and that usually means heads will roll.?

    On any other day I might smile, I might even laugh. But today I am too upset with what the Jedi represent in the common world. We have been morphed into a group of puppets, manipulated into doing what the Chief of State wants us to do.

    ?Prep the X-Wings.? I say quietly, running a finger along my chin. ?We leave in one hour.?
    ?We going somewhere?? Ganner asks while raising his brows. ?Is Master Skywalker sending us on a mission??

    I take a deep breath. Here stand my friends, a close knit like minded group. Will they stand at my side when they?ve heard what I have to say? When they understand the implications? The consequences to face?

    ?No.? I say. ?I am.?

    *

    While the squadron preps for take-off, I head to see Master Skywalker. I am not at all surprised to see Chief of State Fey?lya seated opposite Skywalker, a smug expression on his features. He sits straight, taloned hands atop the table, calmly waiting, anticipating, watching.

    Violet eyes rake me with a contemptuous stare. I?ve long gotten used to the looks, especially by those claiming high power, who in my opinion, have no business filling the seats.

    ?Master Durron.? Fey?lya makes it sound like an insult, as if I were not worthy of the title. I let it go because I am not here to start a personal squabble with the Chief of State. The Jedi, the people of the New Republic, politicians are the ones who made me the man I am today and so they have to deal with me. ?I trust you realize that Master Skywalker and I are in the middle of a meeting.?

    I shrug and put on a cold, thin lipped smile. ?I am aware.?

    ?And yet you enter without announcing yourself first.?

    I shift my gaze to Master Skywalker. He sits comfortably with his hands atop the armrests. He />
  2. LexiLupin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2011
    star 4
    :D You write such a delicious Kyp. [face_love] Determined, taking charge, and on the warpath for the little guy... [face_love]

    You ALSO write a delightfully hate-able Fey'lya. He's just so... slimy. Eew.
    (almost makes me wish he didn't go out with such a... bang. (ha) I can't really hate him after Star by Star)

    Wurth hides behind Ganner?s tall frame and I hear his muffled voice as he asks with a smile. ?Is it okay to come in? Because you?re angry and that usually means heads will roll.?

    [face_laugh] That is... unfortunately accurate... [face_laugh]

    I also really like that you don't demonize Luke and criticize his inaction. It's more complicated than that and it's nice to see a pro-Kyp story that isn't an anti-Luke story, that captures the difficulties Luke faces in his position as head of the Order. In fact, this is highly reminiscent of the conflict in Dark Nest among the Masters, when trying to balance duty as a Jedi vs duty to the GA. It's fun to see those same themes echoed 10-15 years earlier with the New Republic (and that slimy bothan) and, of course, it's fun to see how Kyp started to get to the point where his character is at in NJO and DN. (You know- before the authors TOTALLY forgot he even existed at all...)
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Yes a nice story about a character we see not that much in profic.
  4. Iverna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 20, 2008
    star 4
    I love this. All of it. It's a great bit of character insight!

    The interaction between Kyp and the guys - awesome. Perfect. Kyp walking in on the meeting is very cool as well. I never liked Fey'lya so it's twice as cool. *lol* Kyp has the right idea of how to deal with the guy. *g*

    I really like how you've shown the difference between Luke and Kyp without casting either of them as the bad guy. And I love seeing Kyp as this honourable, determined man who's sticking up for those who need it. That's something we don't see enough of in canon, and yet, it's exactly what Kyp was doing and would do. This is now my personal canon version of how this happened.
  5. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    I laugh.
    Right on, Kyp. Shove it in that worthless Bothan's face.

    Great piece! Enjoyed your balance between Luke's and Kyp's roles.

  6. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Ceil!

    Your Kyp, in first person, especially - ROCKS! His insights into Luke's hands-tied position, his resolve to make a difference and not cow-tow to the ones who think their poop don't stink [face_laugh] :p

    Woot! I love Kyp. He embodies all that the Jedi should be and initially established themselves to be.

    The whole problem was that they became stuck being allied with only the NR interests [face_thinking] instead of an autonomous, hire me when you need me, consult me as needed body.

    o_O

    Rapturous sigh over Kyp, at all in your capable hands. :* [:D]

  7. JediMara77 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    This was really good. I liked that, in the NJO, there were different views on what the Jedi should be like, even though it wasn't really handled properly. Same as in TJK. And FotJ. LOL. Disagreements are normal and a part of life, and Jedi should be able to disagree and still get on with what they're supposed to do. I like that, even though Kyp disagreed with Luke, he didn't disrespect him.

    I like this timeframe and am looking forward to seeing more of it.
  8. Thumper09 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 2001
    star 4
    Great story! I really like how you bookended it with the swallowing and the thoughts of the reporter. That was a neat way to bring it all full-circle.

    I enjoyed the insight into Kyp, and since I've never been a fan of Borsk I had to silently cheer at how Kyp interacted with him, LOL.

    It's good seeing Kyp standing up for what he believes in regardless of the consequences, and it's also good that he's got support for that in Miko and the others.

    Good job!
  9. Ceillean Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2001
    star 5
    Title: A Promise Kept
    Characters: Kyp Durron, OC's
    Timeline: ca 21ABY
    Notes: February Challenge, "Leap". The actual theme is incorporated in the second part of the story, which should be finished in the next few days. It's a tricky scene to write.



    A Promise Kept, Part One

    It was one thing voluntarily wasting your time doing stuff you usually wouldn?t do. It was an entirely different story when you were forced to take time off.

    Thank you, Master Skywalker, Kyp thought grimly while he stared through the window out towards the inner core of the city. It was damned difficult to admit but dammit?he was bored. Last mission hadn?t really turned out the way Kyp had expected it to go. Instead of coming back with intel for the Chief of State, Kyp had returned with a free pass to a lengthy stay at Coruscant Medical including a spectacular view of the insides of a bacta tank.

    He was still a little sore but it wasn?t anything he couldn?t handle. Absolutely and perfectly fine. Definitely ready to get back to work saving the galaxy.

    But Master Skywalker was proving to be a very stubborn man. He didn?t want to see Kyp anywhere near the Jedi until the Doc?s gave him a clean bill of health. Which they weren?t going to do anytime soon.

    The bastards.

    Instead of annoying his fellow Jedi at the Academy, which would have undoubtedly been a lot of fun, Kyp decided to hang out at Eliziya?s place instead.

    He glanced at the time piece attached to the wall and sighed. She had went out shopping hours ago and although he could have attended her trip to the mall?well?his legs kind of still hurt and his back was sore and he didn?t think he could be on his feet all day without hurting himself some more so?

    She?d laughed at his stupid excuses, kissed him and left him to face off with boredom.

    Han wasn?t answering his com link and Nikk was out doing stupid things because that?s what Nikk did. And even though it was a tempting thought, accompanying his best friend, Kyp knew he would most likely end up knee deep in trouble. Because Nikk was a trouble magnet.

    So safest place at the moment was indoors with only boredom to fight off. And boredom was being an ass about it.

    After an hour of killing off brain cells by watching the holonet, the front door to Eliziya?s apartment swished open. Kyp was on his feet in an instant, hurrying through the living area and down the hall. He stopped when he saw all the bags she was carrying from places he?d never voluntarily set a single toe in. SpaceStep, Vellaic Ink, element!, Unisa?

    ?Did you buy the entire mall?? Kyp asked, stepping closer and smiling at Eliziya across the small bridge of bags.

    ?Not quite.? She leaned forward to go in for a kiss and Kyp obliged willingly.

    ?Did you bring me something??

    She raised an eyebrow. ?Really??

    ?Oh, come on.? Kyp gestured to the bags. ?Look at all this stuff. I bet you brought me something, right? ?Cuz I?m going insane here, you know. There?s nothing to do.?

    ?There?s plenty of stuff to do, Kyp.? She said, angling past him and leaving the bags standing smack in the middle of the hall.

    ?Like what?? Kyp countered, following her into the kitchen and feeling oddly annoyed all of a sudden.

    Eliziya turned his way and simply shook her head. ?You are impossible. And yes, I brought you something.?

    He tried not to seem too eager. Because he was a grown-up after all. Rummaging through all the bags took a few minutes but eventually he?d hit the jackpot.

    ?Oh hell yeah.? He said with a grin, planting a kiss on Eliziya?s cheek and heading back to the living room with his new prize.

    ?How old are you?? She called after him. ?Five??

    Kyp didn?t answer because obviously he was way older than five. Back on the sofa, he ripped open the bag of cookies he?d found amongst all the clothes (the chocolate ones, his favorite) and activated the news tablet Liz had brought along.

    ?You could have just read the news on the net, you know.? Eliziya said.

    Kyp shot her that look he usually reserved for people who were />
  10. MiralukaJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2008
    star 4
    A very interesting look at Kyp from a period we don't really hear much about him from canon. Can't wait to see where this goes from here.
  11. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    love the update

    And Eliziya sure is nice being with Kyp
  12. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Ceil [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I love the back and forth between K/L. And I love his single minded focus on cookies ;) the chocolate ones :D

    Wow, tight spot for Jax [face_worried] Kyp with his boundless compassion and gratitude will want to help.

    Looking forward to part #2. [face_batting]

    BTB, you probably won't be surprised when I tell you I was hoping Liz would come out wearing something sassy and slinky and Kyp would forget even there was such a word as bored. [face_laugh]

    [face_mischief]
    Yum!

    Hugs!


  13. LexiLupin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2011
    star 4
    Well I'm certainly intrigued- can't wait to see where you're going with Jax.

    And I'm not so sure about that whole obviously being older than 5 thing... [face_laugh] Ah Kyp, he's so adorable.

    He was still a little sore but it wasn?t anything he couldn?t handle. Absolutely and perfectly fine. Definitely ready to get back to work saving the galaxy.

    Well of course! He's Kyp, a Jedi, and not to mention, AWESOME...

    She had went out shopping hours ago and although he could have attended her trip to the mall?well?his legs kind of still hurt and his back was sore and he didn?t think he could be on his feet all day without hurting himself some more so?

    Or not. [face_laugh]

  14. Thumper09 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 2001
    star 4
    I feel bad for Kyp, going so stir-crazy while he heals. Looks like he's about to get something to occupy his attention for a while, though. This is a really interesting start, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he responds to learning Jax is on trial. Kyp obviously cares about him a great deal. Great post!
  15. Ceillean Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2001
    star 5
    FINALLY finished the next post. Kind of miffed that I couldn't finish it on time but I was sick. [face_plain] Glad that's over with.

    I'm not sure if I'd given a timeframe for this story but it plays around the time that Leia is still Chief of State. Kyp would be in his early twenties, I think. [face_thinking]



    Kessel, Spice Mines

    He shouldn?t have blinked.

    They were watching him and if they saw him blink they?d see that he was deathly afraid. But who wouldn?t be? Jax had just broken the guy?s arm after all. And the snap was so very loud so?yeah?maybe blinking was okay after all.

    Kyp did his best not to show his fear though. Hands balled into fists at his side, nails digging little crescent shapes into his palms, he stood with a straight back and his chin thrust forward. He let blood run freely from his nose, tasted the metallic tang on his lips. He wasn?t going to move.

    Not until all this was over and done with.

    Jax was a huge man, three times the size of the other man begging to be left alone. He kept apologizing over and over again but Kyp didn?t believe him. And neither did Jax.

    ?I told you to leave the kid alone.?Jax said quietly. ?I told you not to touch him, didn?t I??

    The man nodded eagerly, tears in his eyes as he cradled his broken arm. ?I?m sorry.? Barely a whisper and certainly not sincere.

    Jax leaned closer and lowered his voice to a deadly whisper. ?You come near him again and I will kill you. I will rip you limb from limb and feed you to the bogies if I have to. Understand??

    He turned away from the man with the bleeding arm and raised his voice. ?This kid is under my protection. You mess with him, you kriffing mess with me.?

    No one responded. And no one dared moved. They stared at Jax and at the man with the broken arm and then their eyes shifted to the young bleeding boy, who stood by and silently watched.


    *
    He was beyond nervous. Not that he was about to say so out loud of course but it was pretty damned obvious given the way his hands were shaking and how he was sweating. Kyp stepped out of Eliziya?s speeder and glanced towards the imposing spire-like structure that jutted out of the ground like a great spear. The CDC ? Central Detention Center ? loomed before him, a monster from his past just waiting to devour him alive.

    As the door clicked shut behind him, Kyp breathed in the cool Coruscanti air hoping that centering himself would make him feel human again but not even Jedi calming techniques were helping any. He felt vulnerable just standing on the parking lot still half a kilometer away from the gates but close enough to see armored transport vehicles readying for lift off.

    Last time he?d been here it hadn?t been because he wanted to visit a friend.

    Nope.

    Last time he?d been here, he?d waited for the New Republic Senate to decide his fate.

    Kyp leaned forward and braced his hands on his knees. He wiped his palms on the thick fabric of his pants but still they felt clammy. He closed his eyes, breathed in deeply and focused on the smells that the breeze brought along. Industrial stench, garbage, oil and coolant liquid, food processing, waste?

    I can?t do this.


    There were half a dozen other places he?d rather be?but not inside a prison?not again.

    Not ever again.

    I can?t ?

    ?You don?t have to do this, Kyp.? He heard Eliziya?s soft footfalls as she walked around the speeder. A moment later he felt her hand on his shoulder. ?You?re not okay.?

    He cleared his throat, barely recognized his voice. ?I?m fine.?

    He stared up at the detention center, towards the peak of the building that twinkled like a rare clear gem while the last beams of sunlight touched upon it.

    A part of him wanted to take the controls of the speeder and get away as fast as he possibly could.

    But he wouldn?t. Because it wouldn?t be the right thing to do.

    Despite his personal fears, he would walk through the gates of the CDC with his head held high. He owed it to his friend.

    ?I have to do this.? He said slowly.

    *

    ?I don?t have anything to give in return.? Kyp sai
    />
  16. LexiLupin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2011
    star 4
    Glad you're feeling better! [:D]

    I really liked this- but it's too short! You could do a lot with this, if you ever had the urge to expand it into a longer story.

    And poor Kyp in the mines. [face_worried] Jax constantly calling him 'kid' though- he's like the inmate version of Han. :p[face_laugh]

    ?You got off Kessel. Knew you?d make it.?

    ?So did you.?

    ?Didn?t work out too well for me, though.?


    In all fairness, it didn't work out too well for Kyp at first either, between being captured and tortured by Daala, nearly killing Luke, blowing up Carida... [face_whistling] Guess maybe there's a time and a place for news like that... :p

    I'm so glad you finished this. :D I really like Kyp sort of facing his old demons to help out a friend. And, of course, facing Leia. :p

    [:D]
  17. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    love to see that Kyp made a difference for Jax

    A great entry
  18. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Kyp's gratitude and loyalty for past kind deeds :* :* And Liz's emotional support and practical suggestion :D

    Perhaps Jax isn't innocent literally, but there are gray areas involved since he took out a barbaric inhumane menace that had to be stopped & doubtless Jax didn't trust the authorities :p

    I am glad Kyp feels he "paid back" & Jax isn't caged up [face_thinking]

    On a writing-tech note, your descriptions are stunningly vivid as to emotive umph LOL and to feeling right in the midst of the scene with eyes, ears, & all other senses.

    =D= =D=

  19. Thumper09 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 2001
    star 4
    Great story! I liked the flashbacks and how they tied in to the present. Those glimpses of Kyp's life on Kessel gave a good insight into his relationship with Jax and how Jax influenced him. Kyp's decision to go back to CDC really showed how much Jax meant to him. It must have been hard for Kyp to not be able to get Jax freed completely, but at least he rescued him from the coldness.

    I agree with Jade_eyes: your descriptions are wonderful.

    Excellent job! =D=
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade