Saga A Quiet Mind - Anakin/Qui-Gon, Clone Wars vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by rhonderoo, Apr 11, 2004.

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  1. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    *All characters, et. al belong to George.




    [image=http://www.rhonderoo.com/a_quiet_mind_copy.jpg]


    ?Master Qui-Gon, I don?t want to be a problem.?

    ?You won?t be, Ani.?

    ?I?m not allowed to train you, so I want you to watch me instead and be mindful of what you see. Always remember, your focus determines your reality.? Qui-Gon paused, eyes locked on Anakin. ?Stay close to me, and you will be safe.?

    ?Can I ask you something??

    ?What are midichlorians??

    Winds whipped Qui-Gon?s long hair, blowing strands across his strong face.

    ?Midichlorians are microscopic life forms living inside the cells of all living things that communicate with the Force.?

    ?They live inside of me??

    Qui-Gon paused. ?In your cells. We are symbiont with the midichlorians.?

    ?Symbi-what??

    ?Symbiont. Life-forms living together for mutual advantage. Without midichlorians, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the force. Our midichlorians continually speak to us, Ani, telling us the will of the Force.?

    ?They do??

    ?When you learn to quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you.?


    Excerpt from The Phantom Menace Novelization, by Terry Brooks


    The memory spiked in Anakin?s mind as he made his way wearily down the corridor of the Jedi memory library. His genetic make-up had been a topic of controversy since his acceptance as a Padawan. He had decided a long time ago, he felt neither one way or the other about the whole thing as having more midichlorians than anyone else hadn?t exactly been an upside to his peers? acceptance of him. Or the Council either, for that matter.

    He had been back on Coruscant less than a day, with his leave of three days just beginning. He had been to the Council chambers for the usual briefing like so many times before in the past 2 years, but for some reason today?s visit brought back memories of the fateful day that brought him into the Jedi fold. The memory of his former master had been heavy on his heart the last few weeks, and he had made a point of taking the time to come here to be alone with Qui-Gon.

    You are the only one of the Jedi who showed any compassion to me at that time, Qui-Gon, I miss you. He kneeled before the statue, his eyes closed to block out the turmoil of those memories of the past.

    Anakin loved Obi-Wan, but sometimes it honestly felt more brotherly than fatherly. Anakin thought wryly that he himself had been the only one to expect Obi-Wan to act as a substitute parent, the order itself felt the master and padawan relationship to be more sibling-like. Perhaps this was why sometimes they both felt that they had been thrown together to make the best out of whatever the Force gave them. He winced, some of the arguments that he had shared with his master searing his thoughts.

    Would there ever be a time when they would love and respect each other unconditionally? Deep in his heart, when he wasn?t in the closed off inclination of self-protection and preservation that had plagued him since birth, he thought of Obi-Wan as a paragon of Jedi virtue and patience. A paragon that he respected and longed fiercely to emulate, sometimes so much so that it hurt. He longed for this for nothing else, if only to give Obi-Wan a moment of pride. Something he wasn?t entirely sure his master had ever felt on his behalf. Why can?t I be like him? What do I have that makes me different? Why do I fear?

    Anakin reached up with his left hand, his real hand, and laid it reverently on the cold metal of the statue that bore Qui-Gon?s resemblance. There were times he would give anything to have his quiet wisdom around to be his guide. Qui-Gon?s connection to the living force had been something tangible that Anakin picked up on even in the short time he was given with the Jedi Master. It felt as if this hard-to-attain and sometimes controversial aspect of the Jedi culture was slipping away more and more with the events of the past two years.

    Would you have been disgusted at the current state of t
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    This was incredibly moving. You captured Anakin's painful need for Obi-Wan's approval, and his struggle within himself.

    A paragon that he respected and longed fiercely to emulate, sometimes so much so that it hurt. He longed for this for nothing else, if only to give Obi-Wan a moment of pride. Something he wasn?t entirely sure his master had ever felt on his behalf. Why can?t I be like him? What do I have that makes me different? Why do I fear?

    It's lonely to live with a paragon and saints don't necessarily make the best parents. You've done a wonderful job getting inside this conflicted Anakin. SUPERB!

  3. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    Thanks VaderLVR! [face_blush] This is especially flattering as you are the master of these vignettes and in getting Vader/Anakin's head! Thanks again!
  4. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    This is a shameless self-bump for the morning crowd. 8-}
  5. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    I'm part of the morning crowd. I'm glad this was up there for me to catch. It's a lovely piece.
  6. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    Thanks Opal! Glad you stopped by! I wrote this late last night, but remembered this morning that most folks (including myself!) read in the morning! For me, its because I sometimes need a little break at work. [face_blush]
  7. Gina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    A stunning piece!

    It was the times that he felt that Qui-Gon would be disappointed that disturbed him the most.

    Anakin stood, touched the statue again and spoke quietly, ?I?m still learning Qui-Gon, please don?t give up on me, yet.?


    You beautifully captured Anakin's desire to live up to Qui-Gon's expectations. This viggie really portrays how much Qui-Gon meant to him.
  8. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Awsome! That was juz great! Loved the inner turmoil feelings/thoughts that you portrayed of Anakin! And the fact of the 'sibling' relationship he thinks instead of the father/son. Great work!
  9. Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 1999
    star 6
    Oh, wow. (Love the cover art. ;)) Like the others have said, great job getting inside Anakin's thoughts.

    Anakin loved Obi-Wan, but sometimes it honestly felt more brotherly than fatherly. Perhaps this was why sometimes they both felt that they had been thrown together to make the best out of whatever the Force gave them.

    That is SO true! We've talked about this before and, not to diss' Obi-Wan or anything, but I can't help but wonder if things would?ve turned out differently if Qui-Gon had trained Anakin. Children & teenagers need parents before siblings or friends.

    You are the only one of the Jedi who showed any compassion to me at that time, Qui-Gon, I miss you.

    :_|

    A sense that something was coming that there was no stopping. He was convinced that ending this war would make it go away. There was nothing that would keep him from seeing it come to an end quickly and efficiently if he had anything to do with it.

    **shivers**
  10. Dally Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    I like it! I like how you caught Anakin's uncertainty and turmoil. Looking forward to more!
  11. Dork-Vader Star Wars Sketch Card Artist

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 14, 2003
    star 4
    Very nice, Rhonda!

    As far as Qui-Gon living, if he had Anakin may not have been taken in by the Jedi Council. If he hadn't been taken in, would he still see Obi-Wan as that older sibling? Would Qui-Gon have gotten in even more trouble with the council for trying to teach Anakin in secret? Without a true master, would Anakin have been an even easier target/pawn for Palpatine to seduce to the dark side? Would Mace still run like a girl?

    Hard to see...

    D-V
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Up you go! This one is too good to miss!
  13. Qui-Gon Tim Memphis, TN FanForce Chapter Rep

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2000
    star 5
    All I can say is....

    BRAVA!!!!

    Once again, you've done a fantastic job delving into the mind of Anakin. If only those who got paid to do so had your efficient, effective insight!
  14. rhonderoo Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2002
    star 9
    Thanks for all the kind words, guys. Will get back with individual comments as soon as I can! :)
  15. Reihla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2002
    star 3
    Great job! I especially like the way you show Anakin's internal conflict - the darkness that is growing in him along with the desire he still has to overcome it.

    The way you portrayed his affection for Obi-Wan, along with his desperate desire for his master's approval, was good too. Sadly, that is something we don't see alot of in canon. I enjoyed Anakin's quiet reverence for Qui-Gon as well.
  16. leia_naberrie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2002
    star 4

    When you learn to quiet your mind, you will hear them speaking to you. Anakin stood, touched the statue again and spoke quietly, ?I?m still learning Qui-Gon, please don?t give up on me, yet.? With that, he turned and made his way out of the hall and the temple.

    <sighs and applauds>
  17. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    You did a great job of capturing Anakin's inner turmoil.

    Beautifully written.

    ~ Jedikma :)
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