Saga A Resolution Between Shadows and Light--RotS AU, Updated 6/28!

Your posts never cease to amaze me...

Wow...you captured so much in this...everything Obi-Wan is feeling all of his sorrow and regret...wow.



?He is not lost!? It was the first time I had said those words since his fall, and they burst out of me before I even really had time to examine them. Such a wonderful expression of Obi-Wan's hope!

It wasn?t until that moment that I realized how devious, how ruthless Sidious was. Every fiber of my soul ached for Anakin as I got a picture of how the days since I?d left Coruscant must have been for my friend?pulled a thousand directions at once, trapped, torn, not sleeping, not eating. ?Force,? I choked. I couldn?t help the thought, treacherous though it was . . . no wonder he had fallen. And it is nice to see that Obi-Wan understand ssome of what Anakin faced.

He looked like an old man, broken, used up, and at the same time like a fragile, vulnerable child. And such an incredible description of Anakin!

Again.. simply wow.

I can't wait for the next part!

Ani-maniac

 

Wow! What an incredible post!

He doesn?t trust me? Who?s the only living Jedi who can honestly say he?s faced three Dark Lords of the Sith and defeated two? Who defeated General Grievous? Who?all right, calm down, Kenobi. Take a deep breath. This isn?t helping. I crossed my arms over my chest. ?Then we understand each other.?

Now Obi-Wan, that's getting technical. You actually defeated three, but you can't bear to count Anakin's because you would rather save him.

What is wrong with you? What evil casts a shroud over your eyes to cloud your vision? What fog obscures your judgment? The boy is lost!?

?He is not lost!? It was the first time I had said those words since his fall, and they burst out of me before I even really had time to examine them. But as I said them I realized how firmly I believed them, how I had to believe them. That hope alone had kept me moving the last few days when all I wanted was to curl in on myself and sob until the huge rift that had torn my heart in two scabbed over, until I no longer felt my soul?s blood ebbing slowly away into the dark and echoing chasm that had once held the presence of the other Jedi. That hope, fragile and insubstantial as it was, was all I had left to cling to. For if I failed here, if I failed now, then Anakin was truly lost. I had truly failed. And the Empire had already won.

At least for me.

What a powerful, moving passage! "...until I no longer felt my soul's blood ebbing slowly away into the dark and echoing chasm that had once held the presence of the other Jedi."

Your writing is incredible!

I knelt down and tentatively reached out to touch his cheek, running the backs of my fingers over his too-hot, feverish skin, and I could feel the burning behind my eyes start to prickle, the lump in my throat intensify until the tears were slipping down my cheeks and I could barely see through the wet blur over my vision. ?I?m sorry, Anakin,? I whispered. ?I?m sorry.?

It wasn?t an apology just for the last week, the last few days, the hell of Mustafar. It was an apology for Tatooine, and the Jedi Council who had used but never trusted him, and his mother, and Padmé, and the last fifteen years of his life.

Sakura, you manage to make us see Anakin with new insight. You give us a deeper understanding of how Sidious manipulated him in every aspect of his being.

Wow!

I am eagerly looking forward to your next post!

 

Just found this!!

MARVELOUS!!

The thing I like about AUs is that the writer UsUaLlY makes Yoda a bit wiser as a result of his prior arrogance. Glad to see it yet again here.

Oh... love the love intrigue goin' on btwn the doc and Obi-Wan.... I see potential for the replenishment of the Jedi Order Das is good :-D

Great story overall. UP SOON!!

 

I'll reply later when I actually have something articulate to say.

 

To AngelQueen: Yeah, well Onasi's not my favorite person either. Even though he is rather entertaining to write. And yeah, go Obi-Wan! He's slowly starting to admit more and more to himself In other words, progress is being made. And that, ladies and gentlebeings, is why Obi-Wan Kenobi was perhaps one of the greatest Generals of the Old Republic. I totally agree with you!!! Go Obi! And oh, the council. Don't get me started on them. Though I rather like Yoda these days. Obi does need a hug, though. I feel bad for him even as I write him. And you're right about Onasi. He doesn't take a hint.

To light-: Well, not actively trying, but you know that's a great compliment to receive from a reviewer. Thanks so much! And don't worry, things will get better. I promise.

To Ani-maniac: I'm so glad you're enjoying it so much, I really am. And I'm really happy you liked the description of Anakin. I spent a long time on it before I got it to say what I wanted it to say. Thanks so much!

To Star_Drifter: Thanks! Ah, Obi-Wan. We all know how humble he is. And thank you thank you thank you! I just write these characters to the best of my ability!

To Josh-Halcyon: Wow, thanks! And that certainly is what I was trying to do with Yoda. I'm glad you like Obi and Shian.

To astarael: *hands a tissue* I have some flowers here for you when you come back.

 

If he thought his scorn could hurt me he truly did not understand what I had faced over the years. ?Then you understand what I will do to you if you destroy Anakin in this . . . quest of yours.? I didn?t know what else to call the fiery compulsion I had seen in his eyes as he spoke of luring Sidious and putting an end to the Empire.

I knelt down and tentatively reached out to touch his cheek, running the backs of my fingers over his too-hot, feverish skin, and I could feel the burning behind my eyes start to prickle, the lump in my throat intensify until the tears were slipping down my cheeks and I could barely see through the wet blur over my vision. ?I?m sorry, Anakin,? I whispered. ?I?m sorry.?

It wasn?t an apology just for the last week, the last few days, the hell of Mustafar. It was an apology for Tatooine, and the Jedi Council who had used but never trusted him, and his mother, and Padmé, and the last fifteen years of his life.

I love him!!! he is the sweetest thing
perhaps those two can become close again? they both seem to care for eachother
please! i hate when they figth
the histoy is really great, honestly

 

?He is not lost!? It was the first time I had said those words since his fall, and they burst out of me before I even really had time to examine them. But as I said them I realized how firmly I believed them, how I had to believe them. That hope alone had kept me moving the last few days when all I wanted was to curl in on myself and sob until the huge rift that had torn my heart in two scabbed over, until I no longer felt my soul?s blood ebbing slowly away into the dark and echoing chasm that had once held the presence of the other Jedi. That hope, fragile and insubstantial as it was, was all I had left to cling to. For if I failed here, if I failed now, then Anakin was truly lost. I had truly failed. And the Empire had already won.


I like this part--it links nicely to the OT Obi-Wan who says, 'then the Emperor has already won." And I like seeing Obi-Wan's hope--maybe this time we won't have to wait twenty years for Luke to be the new hope if Anakin can pull himself together.

Great update!

 

Wow.

Another great update.

Obi-Wan and Onasi seem to have really laid it on the table. On the plus side, it made Obi-Wan say out loud that he realizes Anakin isn't lost and can still be saved, if they make the effort. It's put a voice to the thought and now he can act on it.

I did love his mentally reviewing his accomplishments. Like he's presenting a resume. LOL. Onasi really brings out the worst in him. LOL. Shian had better be careful. Sooner or later, they're going to do something like mark their territory in the facility. LOL

I think Obi-Wan now realizes that the true battle against the Emperor will be to bring Anakin back to the Light Side, and to keep his children safe. Nothing else really matters in the war.

Heh-heh, Onasi backed off. I guess he realized that Obi-Wan is NOT someone you wish to push too far. And, it's a lesson to Obi-Wan that even HE can be goaded to something like that. The only difference is Anakin didn't have quite so much control -either by not being raised in the Temple from birth, or just his own mental wiring. A good lesson for future Jedi.

I like how Shian is describing Anakin's condition prior to Mustafar. I think that might have made a difference. If Anakin was that strung out, physically, it might have affected his judgement. (That, combined with what Palpatine had been doing to him for over ten years). No food...no sleep...Those are things that affect your judgement. I don't think THAT totally made him fall. However, I think that might have made a critical difference when he confronted Sidious and Mace Windu, and how he reacted then. After that, he felt he was committed to the Sith no matter what and everything else followed.

I hope Obi-Wan goes to talk to Yoda about how he thinks THEY might have been partially responsible for Anakin's fall. I have a feeling Yoda will -more or less- concur with him.

I liked how he goes to apologize to Anakin. It's not Obi-Wan's fault though. I think that the only mistake Obi-Wan made was not appreciating the fact Anakin was NOT raised in the Temple from birth and might find it harder to adjust to the Jedi ideal. I'm sure Obi-Wan thought he was doing the right thing -so Anakin wouldn't feel apart from other padawans. But, I think it might have mentally made him feel more isolated and that he couldn't turn to Obi-Wan when his council would easily have made the difference.

Can't wait for the next post.

 

To michaellover: He is, isn't he? I have to agree. And I'm glad you're liking it!

To Anakins_Force: I'm glad you caught my linking attempts! I have fun with that, anyway. And I'd tell you, but . . . .

To TorontoJediMaster: Glad you're continuing to enjoy! Yeah, that was pretty much the purpose of that chapter--to "lay things on the table" and for Obi-Wan to actually articulate a few things he hadn't quite admitted to himself yet. Marking their territory? LOL. And I'm glad you liked his mental "resume." And yes, that is the real battle, isn't it? I think Obi does realize that, as does Yoda. And yeah, Onasi backed off. Obi-Wan is certainly NOT someone you want to push too far. I got the idea for Anakin's run-down physical condition from Matthew Stover's novelization, and I certainly think it did make a difference, though of course it wasn't that alone, just as you said.
And yeah, it isn't Obi-Wan's fault. Since when does he blame someone else when he can blame himself, though?

 

Hi Sakura. I've been reading your fic right from the beginning - excellent, excellent work. Love Obi-Wan's wry humour, and the way he goes on, without giving up on Ani. An Anakin's pain and doubts, and how he thinks of Padme. And healer Risto... oh heck, everyone.

Excellent work, again. Your style is flawless, and the descriptions drag you right in. I'll be following this closely.

Bravo!

 

To Princess_Arulmozhi: Wow, thanks. I have to say, I've been really impressed by the stories of yours I've read on here. To have a writer of your skill and ability reply to my fic in such a way is . . . incredible. Thanks so much.

We're getting up to where this story is at FF.net! One more post and we'll be even! Later this week I should have a new post for both sites--the first time I'll be posting simultaneously on both.

Thirteen

?You still seem . . . distracted, Obi-Wan.?

That deep voice brought my head up with a start. ?Master?? The word was still an automatic response to the sound of that voice, even after all these years.

My eyes fell on Qui-Gon Jinn sitting on Anakin?s bed right across from the chair I had taken to keep an eye on the injured man. My master?s lips twitched upward into a small smile. ?Don?t look so surprised, my apprentice,? he said gently. ?Convinced yourself that I was a figment of your imagination, then, did you??

I grinned ruefully. ?I have to admit it. But?ah?aren?t you??

The smile widened. ?Not at all. Do you think I?d leave you and Yoda to struggle through things on your own?? He shook his head. ?And I thought you knew me, Obi-Wan.?

?Then?? I felt like an apprentice all over again, befuddled by some cryptic direction of my master?s I couldn?t seem to understand no matter how hard I analyzed it. It had taken me a long while to realize it that struggling so hard to analyze Qui-Gon?s directions was often half my problem. ?I?I?m afraid I don?t understand, Master.?

?I have become one with the Force, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon said. He shrugged. ?Yet my will was such that I managed to retain my identity.? He shook his head. ?But now is not the time for metaphysics. I urge you to seek out Yoda if you are inclined to discuss things of that nature further.? His face turned grave. ?You are troubled, Obi-Wan. Hurting.?

His words sent a tremor through me, as if they threatened to destroy the wall I had struggled to place around my emotions, as if they were a lever that when thrown would open the dam and allow the floodwaters to burst through.

But I couldn?t allow that. I had to be strong. Now was not the time for my personal heartbreak, no matter how profound.

I couldn?t look him in the eyes, even when they were insubstantial and glowed slightly. ?I . . . failed, Master,? I said softly.

He made a sound of disgust. ?Apprentice, enough. You made mistakes. You weren?t the only one. Yoda, too, Master Windu?all the Jedi. Anakin. Padmé. All of you made mistakes. Self-reflection is helpful, yes, but torturing yourself over this is pointless.?

?But I made so many mistakes,? I burst out. ?How could I have been so blind? You were right all along?I failed to listen to the Living Force, and now we are all paying for it.?

?Oh, Obi-Wan.? Qui-Gon?s voice was affectionate and gentle, though slightly chiding. ?Would you take so much blame upon yourself? Yes, part of the fault was yours. But more, surely rests on Palpatine himself, who manipulated us all for so long, the Senators who went along with him, Master Windu, and even Master Yoda. And the great amount of the fault rests upon Anakin. He chose to fall, apprentice. You did not make him. Not even Palpatine forced his hand. It was his fingers upon the lightsaber.? He sighed. ?I realize that this doesn?t help much. Apportioning blame is never a useful exercise. Just know that I do not think you have the most to bear in this instance.?


The sound of stirring on the bed woke me, and I lifted my head and blinked sleep out of my eyes, only realizing as I awakened that I had fallen asleep sitting up. I blinked, expecting to see Qui-Gon?s glowing form seated on the bed in front of me, but the room was empty except for Anakin, a diligent medical droid keeping track of his vital signs on the monitor, and myself. I ran one hand over my face, trying to pull myself back to coherence with pure strength of will.

?O-Obi-Wan?? That hoarse, raw voice was Anakin?s, and I

 

Hey! First post!wow...what a great chapter. can we have anakin begin to recover soon, though, this angst is tearing my heart out. and how about some introspection on anakin?

Keep up the good work

MTFBWY.

 

I love how Qui-Gon talked to Obi-Wan. I love how Obi-Wan won't give up on Anakin. I hate Sidious! Dang, he needs to be gone already. I really love this story.

 

I've been reading this story over on FanFiction, but I've been keeping track of it here as well since I spend more time at this site. I've been re-reading it with every post, and I find this chapter particularly intriguing.

I've always wondered since Anakin was the "Chosen One" of the Jedi prophecy, might he not also be regarded in a similar way by the Sith. After all, he was conceived of the Force itself and the Sith would almost certainly have had there own take on this -- the Jedi don't have exclusive rights to the Force. So, I liked it very much when you brought it up.

But Sidious was not foolish. He knew that he needed the Sith?ari on his side, if the prophesied one had indeed appeared. And he had little doubt that Skywalker was that one. The Jedi saw it, too, though with their skewed version of the prophecy they had failed to recognize his true potential. Fools, then and always.

This all poses some interesting problems for everyone concerned, doesn't it? Anakin can't be the "Chosen One" for both the Jedi and the Sith, can he? He will obviously continue to be an unfortunate pawn in the power struggle between the dark and light, and for that, I feel very sorry for him. I wonder if Yoda will reinterpret the prophecy at this point -- at least the part where, in order to bring balance to the Force, the Chosen One must destroy the Sith. Yes, Palpatine must be stopped, but then what do you do with Anakin, who, it does appear, is as much a Sith as he is a Jedi? In the canon, the prophecy is not fulfilled until Anakin, the Sith, destroys Palpatine and sacrifices himself.

It has bothered me that Anakin is always played by one side or the other -- dehumanized and reduced to a tool. Perhaps Obi-wan can change that now and make everyone realize that Anakin IS the balance in the Force.

Sorry for the rambling. You just got me thinking.

Thanks again for the great story.

 

*gasps* Sid knows where they're at! They have to leave now! *whacks Yoda and Obi-Wan* Get a move on, guys! The Sith's a-comin' and the Chosen One is in no shape to toss him down something! You need to get him and Padmé out of there!

If they want, they could always leave Onasi behind and let him try and kill Palpatine.

Great post, Sakura! Nice to see Qui-Gon show up again and start to set Obi-Wan straight and stop his wallowing in self-pity. Qui-Gon's good at that.

Again, awesome job! Can't wait for more!

AQ

 

He laughed at that, a painful, bitter sort of sound that twisted into a cough. ?Right . . . Master.? His voice was hard with aching sarcasm. He blinked again, and his shoulders shook as the breather inhaled and exhaled for him. ?You . . . should . . . than? . . . me, then, O-Obi-Wan.? His voice cracked and broke on my name like that of the adolescent he?d been only a few years ago. It might as well have been a lifetime. ??The . . . sh-shadow of . . . greed, attachmen? . . . is,?? he rasped mockingly. ?Now . . . you don? have to worry . . . ?bout bein? a bad Jedi. No? attached t? me anymore . . . .?

It's like he doesn't trust himself! he's giving up before the real battle starts!!
oh Ani!!! for them to forgive you, you need to forgive yourself first

 

I was baffled by the request. Why would it be this fear that ran so deep in him? Was his horror at that particular action so all-encompassing? I didn?t understand. But I could no more refuse his plea than turn off the Force around me. ?I promise,? I said. ?I promise. I will take care of her.?

This reminds me of the comments we made in the Parthenon (resource forum) earlier this week. Anakin's fear seems to run deep because of his life as a slave--he had no control over his life and he fears losing the few people that he does have. Padme and his mother were the only ones that really showed him how much they loved him and he's scared of having no one left. I like it that you show Obi-Wan wondering about why he's so afraid--it's something that he should have thought more about in canon. Great update.

 

To palpyisgod2: Actually, this story should be finished around the twenty-chapter mark or so--well, maybe a little bit later than that, but around there--so yes, you're going to be seeing some Ani-recovery soon. And as for Anakin introspection--just wait until you get a look at the next few chapters!

To Fat_Bird: Glad you're liking it so much!

To Bu-sanda: Wow, thanks for the interesting comments! Feel free to ramble anytime I don't mind! Hmmm, I might have to have some serious deliberation on this topic near the end of this story. I can see the ideas now !
It has bothered me that Anakin is always played by one side or the other -- dehumanized and reduced to a tool.
I couldn't agree more. To me, that is the real tragedy of Anakin's life. I'm planning to make it a big issue in this story as Anakin comes to grips with what his life has become.
Thanks again for commenting! flowers!

To AngelQueen: Yeah, things are really heating up now. I really feel like the end is in sight (but don't worry, there are still quite a few more chapters!). It's just that I know where I'm going now, and I can see it. And you're right, Qui-Gon is good at that.

To michaellover: I know. Poor Ani. None of this story has been easy on him.

To Anakins_Force: Yeah, I was thinking about those comments too. It seems to me to be really true. Obi-Wan doesn't have that kind of fear, so it's difficult for him to understand. Even more so for say, Yoda or Mace. I'm definitely going to play that up more here, I think.

 

Awsome!!!

 

Why, thank you.

 

o boy o boy only one more ch. to catch up where i left of on ff.net on ch. 14!!! whooooohhoooo!

great chapter by the way

 

Thank you for the PM!

Such bittersweet chapters... Obi-Wan genuinely wants to help Anakin but doesn't know what to do.

Now I am a sucker for Obi/Ani stories, but this one is the icing on the cake. I hope you don't mind if I print a copy to read during differential calculus...

And thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable interlude to college applications. Darn you Stanford and your three short essays...

Bananakin

 

Oh wow...

This, as always, is an amazing post!



This part with Anakin is so heart-wrenching... for him to say this:

?You . . . should . . . than? . . . me, then, O-Obi-Wan.? His voice cracked and broke on my name like that of the adolescent he?d been only a few years ago. It might as well have been a lifetime. ??The . . . sh-shadow of . . . greed, attachmen? . . . is,?? he rasped mockingly. ?Now . . . you don? have to worry . . . ?bout bein? a bad Jedi. No? attached t? me anymore . . . .?

Wow...

And this line shows so perfectly how well Sidious can manipulate situations:

The appearance of Jinn?s spirit was a surprise, but it was not one beyond his ability to twist it to his advantage. Just as it had been with Kenobi?s unexpected appearance. Sidious surveyed the lights before him, and his smile widened.



I can't wait for the next part!

Ani-maniac

 

To light-: Now the pressure's on!

To Bananakin_Fruiteater: Should I keep sending them to you? And print it all you want! Differential calculus? *shudders* Now I feel stupid. I only made it to pre-cal my senior year of high school, and even then I nearly failed. Good luck with applications! Being a freshman in college, I feel your pain--the agony is still fresh.

To Ani-maniac: Thanks, as always. I'm glad you're thinking Sidious is coming across well. Bad guys are fun, but hard.

 

The smile widened. ?Not at all. Do you think I?d leave you and Yoda to struggle through things on your own?? He shook his head. ?And I thought you knew me, Obi-Wan.?

?Then?? I felt like an apprentice all over again, befuddled by some cryptic direction of my master?s I couldn?t seem to understand no matter how hard I analyzed it. It had taken me a long while to realize it that struggling so hard to analyze Qui-Gon?s directions was often half my problem. ?I?I?m afraid I don?t understand, Master.?

I love the interaction here between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon! You have them down so perfectly! I can just hear Qui-Gon's voice, and see him shaking his head ruefully, saying, "And I thought you knew me, Obi-Wan."

He looked up at me through the shield of his lashes. His eyes were heavy, only slightly open, but I thought I could see flashes of the clear, transcendent blue Anakin?s eyes should have been in them, and it quickened my battered heart, gave me a breath of hope.

*breaths in deeply of that hope* Ahhh, that's better!

?Promise . . . you won? let Padmé . . . die,? he managed hoarsely, face twisted with impatience at his own stumbling tongue. I could feel his desperation, low and urgent, beneath the blanket of drugs dulling his sense in the Force. ?If I?no matter wha??please. Pr?mise me.?

I was baffled by the request. Why would it be this fear that ran so deep in him? Was his horror at that particular action so all-encompassing? I didn?t understand. But I could no more refuse his plea than turn off the Force around me. ?I promise,? I said. ?I promise. I will take care of her.?

Understand this, Obi-Wan, and you will understand why he fell.

It would not be allowed to happen. Vader would not be allowed to falter. He was a Dark Lord of the Sith now, Sidious?s hand, the perfect extension of his will, the heir to a galaxy swathed in the dark brilliance of the Sith?s power.

The appearance of Jinn?s spirit was a surprise, but it was not one beyond his ability to twist it to his advantage. Just as it had been with Kenobi?s unexpected appearance.
Sidious surveyed the lights before him, and his smile widened.

Oh, oh!

Sideous has discovered where they are! Oh, not good!

How is Anakin going to have time to recover if they have to run?

Hey, maybe they can throw Onasi at Sidious!

After all, we wouldn't miss him!

Another fantastic update! I can't even begin to guess how you are going to get them out of this situation!

Much more, please!