Before A Second Chance; Between JA #6 and JA #7; Rewrite of Musings, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by General_Kenobi_66, Feb 11, 2007.

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  1. General_Kenobi_66 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2006
    star 3
    Title: A Second Chance
    Author: G_K_66
    Timeframe: JA, between #6 & #7
    Characters: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
    Genre: Angst, Vignette
    Summary: This is a re-write of one of my first fics, Musings, which was absolutely pathetic[face_shhh] ;) Hopefully this one will be a bit better, but that's up to you to tell me;)
    Notes: Link to original at the end




    Qui-Gon Jinn watched his former padawan in silence as the ship headed to Coruscant, his thoughts roaming over the events of the last couple of months. Obi-Wan was a changed boy from the one he knew before all this had occurred; The Young?s persuasion to help them, Tahl?s blindness, the clash between Master and Apprentice that had led to Obi-Wan?s leaving the Order, and then Cerasi?s death, which had obviously hit the boy hard.

    Not boy, young man, Qui-Gon corrected himself, though it was the general thought that had caused most of the problem, for Obi-Wan was still a boy, in a sense, but Qui-Gon?s considering him to be older led to expectance of mature decisions. Either way however, Obi-Wan?s offense was still a very serious one, and they both knew that the chances of him being reinstated into The Order were excruciatingly slim.

    But regret for his actions were evident, in the way he had been uncharacteristically silent since they had left. Though Obi-Wan wasn?t usually a loquatious person, it wasn?t like him to be so quiet.

    It is hard to be angry at a boy in so much pain, Qui-Gon thought to himself as he gazed at the sulky former-Jedi.

    Of course it was also difficult to not be angry at a boy who had done what he had done to the man who had taken him under his wing, saving him from the fate of watching plants grow for the rest of his natural life.

    Qui-Gon had reluctantly taken Obi-Wan, deciding to listen to Yoda?s insistence that it was ?The Will of The Force,? rather than to his own internal instinct. The Ancient Jedi Master had informed him that his instinct was clouded by the haunting of Xanatos? falling to Darkness, and by his own denial to his wanting another Padawan, but, stubborn as always, Qui-Gon had shaken the words off, telling Yoda that his judgment was fine, and that it was to be trusted.

    And I should have listened to my own judgment, because Obi-Wan betrayed me, just as Xanatos did, he mused inwardly, trying to ignore the little murmur in his head that Obi-Wan had not gone nearly as wrong as Xanatos had; He wasn?t a Dark Jedi that embraced evil, and lived to kill his former Master. He was just a teenager that had made a mistake and was now paying the price for his actions, just as everyone had to.

    "You might as well say it"

    Obi-Wan's voice startled him out of his thoughts.

    "Say what", he inquired mildly, feigning ignorance that he didn?t feel.

    "That I?m a fool, that I should have listened to you, that it was my own fault for trying to steal the Starfighter... I know that there are thousands of things you wish to say to me right now. ?

    Qui-Gon mulled over this for a second, trying to choose his words carefully so as to not make matter get even more out of hand, and it was several moments before he came up with a suitable reply.

    ?Pada- Obi-Wan?? Qui-Gon winced as he barely caught himself from letting the wrong word slip from his mouth. ?This is a difficult time right now, and I think that we both need time to recover from the events of the last few months. We will discuss this matter later."

    Obi-Wan ran a hand through his short, reddish-blond hair, his blue-gray eyes searching the Jedi Master?s face for any answers. "Very well,? he murmured after about a minute had gone by. ?I guess you?re right?

    Qui-Gon cringed at the look of hurt on the young boy?s face, wising that he could console him, but knowing that he couldn?t offer Obi-Wan words of comfort that he didn?t really mean.

    -------------------------------------------

    They were nearing Coruscant by the time they finally spoke again; it had been about six standard hours of silence, and it was Qui-Gon who broke the stillness.

    ?Get your things. We?ve almost />
  2. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Oh, all of our earlier fics and frightening to look at later. ;) I like how it hurt Qui-Gon to not see Obi-Wan wearing his lightsaber. But he kept his braid and Qui-Gon compares the difference between how Obi-Wan and Xanatos keep theirs. Very nice missing scene.
  3. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    I remember reading your original version when you first posted it. I thought it was pretty good, but this rewrite is even better. =D= It shows that you are maturing as a writer! I like the interaction between Qui and Obi. I find that the stories written about the time between each JA book, especially 6-9, are some of the most interesting to read. [face_peace]
  4. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Very nicely done G_K_66. You did an excellent job of getting into Qui-Gon's head.

    Loved that last line! [face_love]
  5. General_Kenobi_66 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2006
    star 3
    Ardavenport: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for reading[:D]

    Tigris: Aww, thank you[:D] I like doing missing scenes from between the books:D

    Healer_Leona: I was a bit worried about getting Qui-Gon's character down; he's not the one I usually write;) Thanks so much for reading[:D]

  6. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    This was a nice repost of your original story.
    =D=
  7. General_Kenobi_66 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2006
    star 3
    Gkilkenny

    Thanks for reading and replying, both to this and to the original [:D]
  8. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    The two strode down the ramp, shoulder to shoulder, almost as if the two were a team again. Anyone walking by could have been fooled; they were both dressed in Jedi Tunics, and a padawan?s braid still brushed Obi-Wan?s shoulder, something that Qui-Gon had noted with interest. He had expected Obi-Wan to cut it after he left the Jedi, but there it was, the red-gold strands still woven neatly together. Xanatos had never cared about his braid and how it looked; the onyx-colored ends mussed by wandering fingers, as he had developed the nervous habit of playing with the braid, something that Qui-Gon had considered disrespectful and uncaring for the object that symbolized an apprentice?s path to knighthood.

    That?s all behind me now, Qui-Gon reprimanded himself. No good to think about the unchangeable past.

    It?s time to focus on the future.


    Impressive, MOST impressive.


    =D=


    A wonderful portrayal of Qui-Gon. :)
  9. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    I wish I'd seen this earlier! A lovely little vignette...ahhh-Obi angst! ;) Great job!
  10. BrentusofGath Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2005
    star 4
    :eek:

    What a wonderful read!

    Terrific Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan characterizations!

    =D=
  11. General_Kenobi_66 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2006
    star 3
    VaderLVR64: Thanks for reading and replying [:D]

    Luminara_Kenobi: Ah, you know me--I can't avoid angst;) Thanks for reading.[:D]

    Brentus: Thanks so much[:D]
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