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A Shakespearean Tale

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Tar-Jinn, Jun 13, 2002.

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  1. Tar-Jinn

    Tar-Jinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2001
    Hello everyone.
    To begin with, I am a newbie to writing... That being said, I have an idea of a story I would like to write, but I simply can't write it. I tried several times and I can't. And it has been bouncing around my head ever since I saw TPM in 1999, and I still can't write it, so I became a bit desperate, and perhaps someone could help me?


    So this is the idea:
    It starts more or less like Shakespeare in Love. It is late XVI century, England, ruled by Elizabeth I. A young hack writer named Will Shakespeare goes to a pub with his friends, Christopher Marlowe the writer and Ned Alleyn the actor, and, inevitably, in the process of draining his sorrows caused by his unsuccessful career, gets drunk. While drunk, he has the strangest dream, and inspiration comes to him... he sets out to write a story.


    The story, as you guessed it, is The Phantom Menace rewritten in Elizabethan English. :D

    There are some changes, of course:
    It takes place in an archipelago of islands ruled by an old, peaceful King. A remote island of Naboo is blockaded by some evil forces, so the King sends out two of his knights... and so on, and so forth. Instead of a Pod Race, Anakin wins a chariot race, the Jedi are wizards, and Palpatine is an evil sorcerer, Darth Maul is a real demon, and instead of electing a new chancellor of the Republic, the lords and ladies of the Realm are electing a new King - because the old one is childless, and once he is banished, there is no one from the royal bloodline to rule. Anakin was lost with his mother when they both went out sailing (a thunderstorm coupled with pirates/slavers)... only instead of being a child of the Force, he is actually a child of the banished King who thought he was dead (the rightful descendant to the Throne).

    Ric Olie is useful for a change, when he says that "The main mast has been hit", because the people in the theatre can't see this. (Or when he says: "Coruscant... the entire island is one big city.") It can't be much worse then Polonius' declaring "O, I am slain!" (Which, excuse me, I hope it's not blasphemy, always struck me as as great an Olie-ism as there can be - and unintended comedy relief.)

    Anyway, the play ends more or less like TPM, with an alliance being formed, Qui-Gon (played by the illustrious Alleyn himself) slain by the demon of the evil magician, and Obi-Wan (probably played by Will himself) training Anakin.


    What happens afterwards is that Will wakes up with the greatest hangover in his life and discovers the script that he wrote in his sleep (yeah, right, those hundreds of pages handwritten with a quill in one night...). He shows it to his friends to read, and starts working on the sequel, "Amidala and Anakin".

    Only it turns out that one of his friends has been working for sir Francis Walsingham... Will is arrested, on charge of treason. Reasons?
    Princess (alas, with the Realm being a Kingdom, she can't be a Queen) Padme Amidala wears a lot of make-up, multi-layered gowns and speaks in stilted speech... like a certain Queen of a certain England.
    And Anakin says "I am not a slave, I am a person!"... a dangerous thought to put into people's minds while the slave trade is generating huge income to England.
    And Anakin says "Are you an angel?" (Would it be "Art thou an angel?"?), which is quite close to blasphemy anyway.

    Anyway, Will's neck is - quite literally - saved by the Queen, who happens to like the play. He is not executed, only admonished and advised to forget and to write a different play. So "Amidala and Anakin" becomes "Romeo and Juliet", the plot to banish the King and supplant him with an impostor becomes "Macbeth", and the decoy scheme becomes "The Comedy of Errors".



    I hope no one would see it as a blasphemy to the Bard. But like I said at the beginning, this is one story I would really love to read: The Phantom Menace in Elizabethan English (of course, only parts of the actual script would be in the story, methinks). And I have intended to write this story for those past
     
  2. Jacinta_Kenobi

    Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 23, 2001
    now THAT is an awesome idea. I think that sounds cool!

    I don't think I would ever be able to write something like that by myself...I don't think I could have ever come up with that great an idea, so I salute you for getting this far!

    Hm...Well, I know the are others that re better qualified as writers for this, but, if worse comes to worse, I am here, and willing.
     
  3. Greesha

    Greesha Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2002
    That is a REALLY GREAT IDEA!!!!!
    I don't know if I could help write, but I will read it when it does get written.
     
  4. Ty-gon Jinn

    Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Holy cow, that sounds great!! I'd be willing to help, if you need me. That seems like one of the coolest fanfic ideas ever.
     
  5. PeterTutham27

    PeterTutham27 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2001
    Oh my Gosh! That is one of the awesomest ideas I have ever read! I love it! I'd be willing to help out in any way that I could- I can't really write in iambic pentameter, but making things sound old and refined is something that I CAN do!

    Awesome ideas!
     
  6. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    Wow!
    That is an awesome idea!
    I like it alot!!!
    I'd be happy to help but I'm not sure exactly how much help I would be.........


    still that is a really cool idea and I will definately be a reader!
     
  7. Ty-gon Jinn

    Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Methinks thou art a genius, o Tar-Jinn,
    And I wouldst love to see this fic begin.


    Iambic pentameter. :p
     
  8. Jedi Girl of Corellia

    Jedi Girl of Corellia Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2000
    I tried to do a Star Wars version of Macbeth. I go about three scenes done... hehe... I'm never going to try that again! It was soooo hard! My brains started to turn to mush. :p

    Good luck with this though. :) I would love to read it when you're done.
     
  9. Tar-Jinn

    Tar-Jinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2001
    Aye.
    I will read it when it does get written.
    I will definately be a reader!
    I would love to read it when you're done.

    That's the real problem, isn't it? Writing. :D Make no mistake, in between my failed attempts, I have tried to find such a fanfic in the past three years, so that I wouldn't have to write it... but apparently, no one else thought about this - or decided to follow this idea.
    It is a bit insane, isn't it? And a bit... arrogant? To presume to imitate the Bard's style?

    But perhaps, now that I have your support - and now that I can count on your help - we could come up with something together. Sheesh! I'm feeling better already!


    Jacinta_Kenobi, about coming up with the story...

    I think that it came out of seeing Menace, Shakespeare in Love and Elizabeth in short intervals one after another... it was actually Cate Blanchett's delivery of the last line in Elizabeth that did it for me... sent shivers up my spine, literally! And reminded me of Amidala.

    (Off-topic: I mean, it's just like reading Tehanu, one of the Earthsea books, and coming up with a story of a 10-year old Jedi, Eagle, who has to choose between two masters: one more orthodox in following the Code, one less - and in meditation gets transported (his mind, not his body, that is) to Earthsea, where he meets Ged/Sparrowhawk and learns a bit about keeping balance and duties of a wizard/Jedi... and finally learns his true name: and learning that he is a dragon of Earthsea, a magnificent spirit of life and fire, one that cannot be bound by any rules, he wakes up from his dream, and takes upon his true name: Qui-Gon Jinn... and refuses Yoda's offer to train him.

    (The story is currently on hold after a couple of chapters, because I would like to write it properly, and Ms. LeGuin's style is quite hard to imitate. So, it's free for the taking.)

    But I digress.)


    Jedi Girl of Corellia... Macbeth, heh? I would like to see this.

    And, LOL, so if PeterTutham27 antiquates the dialogue, and Ty-gon Jinn writes it in iambic pentameter... we'll have a story! Between the two of you, I won't even be needed, LOL.

    Although somehow I think (who am I kidding: I hope) that no, not really. So, to everyone else I have not yet mentioned: I still think that any help would be needed. So, thanks, but expect me to act on your offers!


    OK, to the real topic of this post.
    There are several concepts I'm unsure of that we'd better deal with now.

    I think it would actually be funny to have Jar Jar, of all the characters, to speak modern English. I mean, I think - ergh, methinks, that the way we speak now (especially you/thou, do/dost, does/doth) would sound to Will like Jar Jar's dialect sounds to us... and the prospect of having Jar Jar as the most intelligible character for a change is... alluring to me. What do you think?

    The other trouble is 3PO. Anakin, being a slave, can't have a servant... perhaps 3PO can be his childhood servant/friend who somehow also was on that ship Queen Shmi and her firstborn were on... and also didn't drown?

    Then, it's Shmi. How much should she remember? I'd guess amnesia is the cheapest answer. Or perhaps she knows everything, only thinks that her child has to grow before facing the scheming, possibly treacherous, courtiers... and who would raise Anakin better that her King's faithful servants, the Jedi wizard-knights?


    Now, the most important part. I originally intended to use as much of the dialogue from the Plays as possible, because it would be the easier way to write this. I mean, to use the most cliched piece... that pep talk from Henry VI - St. Crispin's Day - simply begs to be Padme's talk to the Gungans/Naboo before the battle. Perhaps some of Iago's bits could be turned into Palpatine's monologues when he motivates the Lords and Ladies of the Realm to banish the old King - explaining his motives? Just parts of sentences, especially
     
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