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DFW, TX A Short Story

Discussion in 'MidSouth Regional Discussion' started by Starburstlvr, Apr 9, 2003.

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  1. Starburstlvr

    Starburstlvr Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 2, 2002
    I've had this idea milling around my head for some time and thought I'd begin writing it out. I've never written any sort of fan fiction, so please keep that in mind. I've posted this on the Fan Fiction message board, but man, so many others do that your story gets quickly pushed to the next page.

    And knowing that we have some hardcore and intelligent (might as well begin kissing up now before you read it) members, I've decided to post it here for some feedback.

    This story centers around Obi-Wan - 6 months prior to Episode III.

    Alderaan's Secret

    Senator Bail Organa?s office was lined in hues of deep green and blue - a reflection of the majesty of his home planet. There were no sharp edges or corners in his office. When he became Senator, he insisted that the edges be rounded off, which everyone said made Organa?s office the most comforting office in the Senate. Yet, as Obi-Wan Kenobi stood before him, he sensed anything but comfort coming from Bail.

    ?I need your help Obi-Wan.? Bail Organa?s face, although stoic could not hide the fear that rippled through the Force and washed over Obi-Wan. He was surprised, for he had never sensed those feelings coming from the Viceroy and Senator from Alderaan. He and Bail had been through many harsh battles in defense of the Republic ? and never once these feelings?

    ?This is not a military mission.? Bail quickly asserted then paused. He was a man who carefully considered what he said and the manner in which he said them.

    ?It?s more of a personal favor.? Bail?s eyes dipped down for a moment. He did not feel right about asking Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan was his only option. Bail could feel himself sink slightly into his couch.

    In that moment, Obi-Wan knew. He quickly sat down beside the Senator and clasped his hands together resting them on his lap.

    ?Is she alright?? Obi-Wan asked although he knew the answer.

    ?Yes, of course.?

    ?Then why the fear, Senator?? Obi-Wan?s eyebrows furrowed. If she was doing well, then why these feelings?

    Bail quickly looked over to Obi-Wan. A quick smile escaped his lips. ?I forgot for a moment that you were a Jedi Knight.?

    ?I apologize. I didn?t mean to intrude.? Obi-Wan quickly said.

    ?Don?t. Fear is easily detectable and difficult to disguise.? Bail paused a moment then lowered his voice. ?I have a classified mission that I am undertaking soon, and my wife will take over the duties as Senator until my return.?

    ?If more protection is your request, then I will contact the Council immediately.? Obi-Wan studied Bail?s worried expression.

    ?There is no need for that. Seraela has refused. She said the Jedi Council is dealing with more important matters now than protecting a former Jedi, but I insisted that she have some sort of extra protection when attending this meeting.?

    Bail?s insistence on extra protection had landed him two nights on the couch on which he and Obi-Wan now sat. He remembered Seraela?s face when he mentioned contacting the Jedi Council. For a moment, she had lost her composure. Her expression fell; her light brown eyes showed the faintest hint of tears. He knew instantly he had hurt her, but he knew of no other group more equipped to protect her. Bail began to say he was sorry, but Seraela stood, her composure regained and tears gone.

    ?Can?t this meeting be postponed?? Obi-Wan said as he searched his mind for an alternative.

    Bail softly shook his head. ?I?m afraid not, old friend. The meeting is between the Loyalist committee and the Supreme Chancellor.?

    ?Who else??

    ?As well as representatives of the Confederacy.?

    Obi-Wan looked over to Bail, and with eagerness he found difficult to control asked, ?Dooku??

    ?No, but he will be dealt with shortly. My concern lay with the Trade Federation and Commerce Guild. We have tried desperately these past two and a half years to convince them to align themselves with the Republic. This meeting will prove the most important yet. We actually have a positive out
  2. LebaDraddog

    LebaDraddog Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 19, 2002
    Works for me. Written fairly well, only a couple of minor grammatical issues with it. Good job!
  3. Starburstlvr

    Starburstlvr Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 2, 2002
    Thanks! I realized afterwards that some may think it was similar to the AOTC storyline - protect a woman you care a lot for, but trust me, it's different. I thought it would be interesting to give Obi-Wan more reason for hiding Padmé and Leia with Bail Organa. I'm sure Bail was married, or at least for the sake of argument lets say he was, so I thought it would also be interesting to explore the character of Leia's adoptive mother.

    I'll probably write more this weekend.
  4. Jedi_Jarvis

    Jedi_Jarvis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 7, 2001
    Very nice. Left me wanting to read more.

    I dont think it was too ATOC, several SW plots are kinda like this. And I've never seen anything on Obi's luvs before.
  5. Starburstlvr

    Starburstlvr Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 2, 2002
    I think I've seen a few, but not many stories. Does anyone have information on Bail Organa's wife? As far as I can find, she has never been given a first name. She's only called Lady Organa, and she was the Minister of Education on Alderaan.
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