JCC a star wars advice for success in life and love thread.

Hello. I, a star war, am an adult person who has never been successful or in a relationship of any kind. This gives me a unique insight into the problems other people have in their lives, and therefore I have decided to offer you my consultation services free of charge (a once in a lifetime opportunity).

So, if you have any questions or problems in your life, or if you just need help making a decision of any kind, I am here to provide you with out of the box thinking that you won't find anywhere else to apply to your life.

Ask away!

 

My dishwasher sometimes won't finish the cycle. What could be wrong with it?

 

i have to go grocery shopping but i really don't want to. i guess my question is, will you go grocery shopping for me?

 

I'm bored. What should I do?

 

It sounds like your dishwasher is disinterested in things it used to enjoy doing, and is unable to focus on work tasks. These are signs of depression. I recommend reaching out to your dishwasher to see if there is anything you can do for it. Therapy is a good start, so try recommending that. Ultimately, your dishwasher will only be able to help itself if it wants help.

I too find myself not wanting to leave the house for long periods of time. Luckily, you live in a time and place where the groceries will come to you, with the proper enticement. Groceries are attracted to cold, brightly lit places, or cool, dark places, depending on what kind of groceries you are looking for. I recommend putting your refrigerator outside and leaving the door open. This will draw a number of cold loving groceries on its own, but you can also 'sweeten the deal' for some groceries by placing an opened box of baking powder inside. For those groceries which make their homes in cupboards, you could detach one of your cabinets from the kitchen and place it outside, but a cardboard box in the shade is much cheaper and works just as well. Lining the bottom of the box with some kind of paper will help draw them in as well.

 

Join the YPG/YPJ

 

I'm not very good at relationships either, what should I cook for dinner?

 

There is an ant in my garden which is really pissing me off. I really want to kill it. I actually just want to kill something. An ant, an epic. Doesn't really matter which. What should I kill?

 

I tried that already. They denied my application

 

I don't know dinner is, so I'm not sure what their tastes are, what they're allergic to, etc. Does dinner eat meat? Do they have celiac's disease? I think you should assume the worst and prepare a meal this is vegan and contains no gluten. They might enjoy something like a bean salad, which has a lot of fresh produce and plenty of protein.

 

I believe the rule is "if it bleeds we can kill it". As far as I know, ants don't bleed...but should that stop you? I recommend first killing off your idea of what is impossible, and work from there. Eventually, you may yet find a way to kill that which does not bleed.

 

Why would you want to epic? He seems like a nice fellow.

 

I don't want my son to play so much Overwatch but when I tell him he says "what about all that time you waste on that stupid Star Wars forum?" then I hang my head and slink out of the room. I worry that I'm not doing this right. Can you help?

 

I've been considering dehumanizing myself, but how can I truly face to bloodshed?

 

I don't have kids, but I have had pets. I've heard that bad behaviors can be a result of the reproductive cycle, and removing these processes can be a good start in removing the behavior. Spaying or neutering your child may help with correcting them and it also helps control the pet population.

 

Take good rest.

 

I asked for a vegan meal on the plane but they brought me a Kind bar that clearly says "HONEY AND OAT" on the wrapper. Seeing as I am not actually vegan, I love honey and oat Kind bars, and I ate meat directly before boarding the plane, how can I complain about this without being a total a-hole?

 

Maybe he's thinking that if he kills epic he can replace him and become epic himself.

 

I think finding a good lawyer to help you with this would be a good start. I don't know anything about law, but this sounds like as good a reason as any to sue the pants off a multinational corporation to me. The bigger an a-hole you are, the bigger the settlement is likely to be, probably.

 

I don't even see the problem here. What violates veganism? Oats? Honey?

 

Something bad is going to happen: you're going camping. You made the conscious decision to do that so I'm not sure why your subconscious needed to alert you to this very bad time you are about to knowingly have.

 

Honey is an animal byproduct. Do you know what veganism is? Do you know where honey comes from?

 

I certainly don't need advice on how to fail at life and love. I will be watching this thread closely.

 

What is the moral rationale behind that? I get things like leather. But honey?

Are vegetables also disallowed if they are from a garden fertilized by manure?

 

There is no **** in my garden.


Oh, question.... should there be **** in my garden? I feel like my veggies are fine without it, but I could use a second opinion.