A topic for short, one-shot stories

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by JediGaladriel, Apr 28, 2000.

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  1. JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 1999
    star 5
    This thread is meant for brief stories of any type... the kind that you can't see starting a whole thread for, but kind of want to share and get feedback on.
  2. JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 1999
    star 5
    I need feedback. This is just a first draft of a story about a test I thought Obi-Wan might give to Anakin.
    by FernWithy/JediGaladriel

    Anakin Skywalker watched the flashing light on the panel, knowing he wasn't allowed to do anything about it. Obi-Wan had rigged a second alert system, linked to the navigation system, to ring a bell if something that was actually unexpected happened.

    Apparently, this proximity alert had been expected. Anakin looked dimly ahead, saw a large asteroid, and watched it approach, hoping that it wouldn't hit. There was no exhilaration at cheating death when it passed -- this was out of his hands, and he hadn't done anything special to avoid it. He just looked at it, cataloguing it in his mind, and noticing the way the veins of carbonite made a pattern in the craters. He couldn't exactly say he was enjoying the ride, but he wasn't unhappy, either. The outer reaches of the Coruscant system had some interesting sights to see, and he let himself see and appreciate them.

    He did not have an urge to take the controls. That was where Obi-Wan had miscalculated.

    This was one of the special lessons, the lessons that made Anakin feel like a building being renovated by an eager architect. The facade was fine, but all the supports were in the wrong places, and needed to be carefully moved. And Obi-Wan usually was careful. Anakin complained about the special lessons, but he understood what Obi-Wan was getting at, and knew his Master was being as gentle as he could. Anakin himself might have made the same mistake with this one, and as mistakes went, this one didn't seem to have many dire consequences.

    Most of Anakin's training was the same as any other padawan's, even if some of it was a little bit late in coming. Those things, like learning bits of gymnastics that the others could do in their sleep, were sometimes embarrassing. He had fallen off the low balance beam so often in the first two months of his training that the other nine year olds -- who worked on a higher, thinner beam with no spotters, and were almost ready to go to the high wire -- started teasing him about being "chosen to bring lack of balance to the Force." He didn't know how rumors about the stupid prophecy had already gotten here, but he did learn that news traveled fast among telepaths, once it was loose. Deciding that he'd rather not be such an obvious target, he'd snuck down during sleeping hours one night and practiced until dawn. He found the rhythm of it finally, and once he did, the rest was easy. When the others came in the next morning, he greeted them from a handstand on the highwire, then handspringed out of it onto the platform at the end.

    The teasing had stopped (to be replaced by what felt like dull resentment), but the lectures from Obi-Wan had started, and so had the special lessons. The first had been on his temper. Obi-Wan hadn't minded that he'd finally mastered his balance, but he'd been very disturbed that it had been done out of annoyance -- anger -- at the other students, so there had been a series of lessons in which Anakin had been exposed to progressively worse provocations, and expected not to lose his temper. He passed some of these tests, and failed others. Obi-Wan was patient with him, and always forgave his failures and reminded him of his successes. He was beginning to think he could win this battle with his temper, if he tried hard enough and let Obi-Wan teach him.

    That was the other part. At first, Anakin had thought Obi-Wan just felt snubbed about him going off to learn something on his own, but he found out that it was something else. "Anakin," he'd said, "the skills can come to many people. Even untrained people may be able to use the Force from time to time. But we pair Masters and padawans not simply to teach skills, but to share experience. You should have come to me. I would have helped you with the beam-work, and helped you handle your anger at the others. You must let me know when such things come into your heart. You must learn trust. In
  3. ami-padme Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 1999
    star 4
    Good stuff as always JG.

    The one thing I had a question about is the voice that tells Anakin that something is really wrong. I wasn't sure what that referred to -- I assuming it was something self-referrential on Anakin's part more than anything.

    Could I repost my last little story in here?
  4. JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 1999
    star 5
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ami-padme:
    Good stuff as always JG.

    Thanks. I'm a little nervous on this one.

    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The one thing I had a question about is the voice that tells Anakin that something is really wrong. I wasn't sure what that referred to -- I assuming it was something self-referrential on Anakin's part more than anything.

    I'm thinking its the same self-preserving voice that he probably would hear a lot later -- the voice of Anakin inside Vader, I guess -- but I'll try to make it clearer. That's a good point.

    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Could I repost my last little story in here?

    That's why I put the thread up.

  5. ami-padme Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 1999
    star 4
    Okay, then I'll put this up again...

    Shadows Before Darkness

    This story is set sometime during Ep. II (Anakin and Amidala are romantically involved, the Wars have started, etc.).

    Where is he?

    She had long lost count of how many times she had asked herself that question. Just thinking about it twisted her stomach.

    Why hasn't he contacted me?

    No answer for that one either. At least none that she wanted to hear. Couldn't he let her know he was all right? He had to know how worried she was. But there was nothing.

    She knew how he was when something upset him. How frightened and angry and defensive he could become. Not necessarily with her, or any one in particular. Sometimes, despite the Jedi control he had learned, his emotions would simply escape him. And to have to face something like this...

    Amidala sighed and rested her forehead against the window. She had been standing there for hours, watching the hangar bay for any sign that he had arrived. None appeared.

    It had been three days since Obi-Wan had contacted her, hoping desperately that Anakin was there. It had been five days since Shmi died. No one had seen or heard from Anakin during that time.

    Amidala felt her heart ache as she tried to imagine how Anakin must have felt...watching his mother die...not being able to save her...Amidala shuddered. He had waited so long to go back for her, only to have this happen the day he arrived. The day he arrived! What an unspeakable nightmare.

    After it happened, Anakin simply disappeared. He hid himself, both physically and mentally, from Obi-Wan, and lost himself in the utter confusion of the scene in Mos Espa. Obi-Wan scoured every part the settlement and found nothing. Finally, he contacted Amidala, on the chance that Anakin might already be on Naboo, or might have at least spoken with her. He hadn't.

    So, now there was nothing for her to do but stand by her window and wait.

    Amidala had wanted to go with him to find his mother, but the unrest and violence that had compelled him to leave for Tatooine also forced her to remain on Naboo. Chaos seemed to be sweeping the Republic from the Core Worlds to the Outer Rim. She couldn't simply leave on what might have been a lengthy trip in the midst of all this confusion. Her people needed her here.

    Still, she had to admit to herself that she would be very hard-pressed not to go to him now if he were to contact her. She absent-mindedly fingered the japor snippet around her neck. If she could just find him, make sure that he was fine, and bring him right back here, she wouldn't have to be gone for much longer than a day or two. Sabé could certainly handle things for that short a time.

    But what if he isn't fine? What then?

    Amidala shook her head and returned her attention to the hangar. He would show up. And he'd be fine. They could go from there.


    Amidala curled herself up in the corner of the chair, pulling her blanket up to ward off a sudden chill. She yawned contentedly.

    Then her eyes snapped open, and she sat straight up in the chair.

    When did I fall asleep? she wondered.

    After attending many hours of meetings and conferences, Amidala had rushed back to her room, anxious to check her holo-messsages. Of course, she had told Sabé to pass her a note during the meetings if one came in from Anakin or Obi-Wan, so she had no real reason to expect anything to be there. But she had hoped so anyway.

    No messages. No off-world arrivals in the Palace hangar, or in any hangar, as she was now checking them all.

    So, she had retaken her position by the window, this time seated in a chair, and continued to wait.

    Amidala stretched a little. Clearly, several hours had passed. The sun was setting; her room was quickly darkening. I better check the messages again, she told herself.

    As Amidala moved to get up from the chair, she glanced up at the window. And froze.

    Anakin stared back at her through the reflection.

    Before she even turned around to face him, she could tell how terribly wrong things were. He didn't look as though he
  6. JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 1999
    star 5
    Hmm, went looking for this, and found out that the thread it was on has disappeared completetly ("Destroyed... by the Empire..." ) So, because there's been little feedback on this thread, I'll use it to bring us back up.


    "Storm's coming up, Ani... you better get home quick."

    Anakin awoke from a thin, restless sleep, old Jira's voice still ringing in his ears. He heard it often. The dream only came back to him in fragments -- her warning, the storm rolling up over the desert, the fire...

    He shuddered. The fire was the worst of it. It seemed to come with the storm, to rain out of it. His face...

    "Are you all right?"

    He jumped at Kenobi's voice, then chastised himself for it. How distracted was he, to not feel a presence as strong and distinctive as Kenobi's coming into his small sleeping room at the Temple? Focus. Learn focus. "I'm all right," he said. "Nightmares."

    "I know. They've been getting worse over the past few months, haven't they?"

    There wasn't much point in arguing. Anakin had been Kenobi's padawan for almost three years now, and if he'd learned nothing else (and he sometimes thought he had learned nothing else), it was that he couldn't lie to Kenobi once the man got in his head to find the truth. And, at any rate, Anakin hated lying, and had never done it well in any case. He nodded. "What does it mean?"

    "I can't tell you what your own dreams mean, Anakin. Particularly when you tell me so little about them."

    Anakin started to say, "I can't remember," but stopped. There were ways a Master could help remember dreams... but something told Anakin that he didn't want to remember this dream in Kenobi's presence. There was something about it, some shameful secret, some...

    Kenobi was looking sharply at him. "Anakin?"

    Tell him now, and let him help. "It's just dreams."

    "You should not ignore your visions, Ani. With your talent... "

    The rest began to simply wash over Anakin. At first, it had felt good to be told he was special, that he was supposed to have all this talent and destiny. Now, it felt oppressive, like a huge


    weight bearing down on him. And it made him sad -- Kenobi was a good Master, he thought, and sometimes a good friend. But when he talked like that... Anakin felt like he'd stopped being Anakin Skywalker, and turned into some stranger named "The Chosen One," who would never be anyone's friend. Certainly not someone who could be bothered by plain old bad dreams, or someone who just needed to be told that it was safe to go to sleep again.

    He shook his head. He was thirteen. He was too old to need the human equivalent of a nightlight, anyway.

    Too old to be homesick (was there ever a right age to be homesick for a waste of rock like Tatooine?).

    Too old to still miss his mother.

    Mistake. Her face rose in his mind -- wise, tired eyes, sad smile, gentle touch...


    There was real concern in Kenobi's voice, and Anakin noticed that Kenobi's hands were on his arms, pushing him back. He was confused for a moment -- why was Kenobi pushing him? -- but he looked at himself and understood. Kenobi wasn't pushing him; he was catching him. He himself was leaning forward bonelessly. "I'm sorry," he said, embarrassed. "I guess I need to go back to sleep. I'm tired."

    "Tell me what you saw."

    Anakin shook his head. It wasn't a refusal. He just couldn't think of what to say. "My mother," he muttered. "That's all I know."

    Kenobi's grip loosened, and he let Anakin slip back down into sleep.


    Tatooine, again.

    Storm's coming up, Ani... better get home quick.

    He stands at the edge of the desert, and hears the voice, but he sees no one. Padmé was there a moment ago, holding his hand, but now she has been swept away, and he can't find her. He can feel her heart beating inside him, somehow, and knows she is alive... but she has disappeared into the rising wind. Beyond, the harsh sail of sand and dust and rocks is sweeping across the Dune Sea, coming at him with inexorable patience. There was
  7. ami-padme Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 1999
    star 4
    A while ago, I posted a series called http://www.fanfiction.net/master.cfm?action=directory-authorprofile&UserID=7297Missing Images that chronicled Anakin and Amidala's relationship between The Phantom Menace and Ep. II. Well, I've had some ideas for some other scenes since then, and this is one of them.

    It takes place just before the "pod-fixing" scene in TPM (the one where Jar-Jar sticks his face in the energy beam?Qui-Gon and Shmi are discussing Anakin?"It's working! It's working!"). I'm including it as the prologue to the other scenes. Thanks to everyone who gave all the great feedback to the rest of this story?more is always appreciated.


    Anakin jumped out of his pod racer's seat and scurried around to the back. He saw Padmé jump at his action, but then she smiled. She had a really great smile...but he got the feeling she hadn't used it much lately. That was too bad.

    Well, she'll be smiling tomorrow, he promised himself. He hadn't talked about the race with her, but Anakin had sensed that he would win. It was one of those strange feelings he could never explain. But he trusted it. His...lackluster...performances in his other races wouldn't have much bearing on this one. Racing to avoid punishment from Watto was one thing. Racing for his new friends, and for her, was quite another.

    "Wait until you see the crowds tomorrow, Padmé. The last time, there were people standing in the stairwells. I don't think they'll let people do that this time though."

    "Why not?" she asked.

    "No one pays much to stand. The Hutts thought it was a waste of money. And they're more stingy than Watto."

    She laughed a little then. Boy, was he lucky that he was with them when the storm started. He would never have seen her again otherwise, or found out that Qui-Gon was a Jedi. This was the most exciting thing to ever happen to him, and he had almost missed it.

    Of course, this was likely torture for Padmé. Qui-Gon was all right ? he was a Jedi, he could handle anything. But it was easy to tell that she wasn't used to it, and had no idea what to do with herself.

    He snickered. Tatooine was an ordeal for people who had lived there all their lives. Important girls who traveled the galaxy with Jedi shouldn't even past it, much less be forced to stay...with slaves no less.

    "What's so funny, Ani?" She had heard him snickering and stopped working to look at him.

    He shrugged. "I was just thinking about how much you must hate being here."

    Padmé shook her head. "No, it was very kind of you to offer your home to us ?"

    "Oh, I didn't mean here. I meant on this planet. It isn't the best place to get stuck."

    She seemed to be worried about offending him, but finally said, "No, it's not. But we're here, and for now, there's not much to be done about it. It's not so much that I don't like it here, as it is wishing that I could be somewhere else."

    "Home?" Anakin asked. Not that he knew where that was. He figured that Qui-Gon had told Padmé and Jar-Jar not to tell him too much about their mission.

    "Yes," she said, and her eyes seemed to drift away.

    I shouldn't have said anything. He had upset her by reminding her of whatever was going on. Anakin experienced her discomfort, and he really wanted to get rid of it. It was the same way with his mother...and a few other people under certain circumstances. Sometimes it was like reading their minds; other times, like now, the emotions felt like they were his own. Often, when he knew there was nothing he could do to help the person, he frantically wished he could turn it off.

    But this wasn't one of those times. He had helped them when Jar-Jar got into trouble, and he had helped them when the storm started. And he had helped Padmé keep her mind off things, at least for a little while. "Did I show you what I did with the steering?" Before she could answer, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her to the other side of the racer, chatting about the importance of handling and control.

    He wasn't sure she understood everything that he was saying, but
  8. Flamberge Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 1
    I realize that most people don't follow other fan's films until they actually make it to the screne, especially if it is their first foray into the fan film arena. But if any of you are interested, I have info on my upcoming fan film and the Movie Poster for it, located at http://flamberge.iwarp.com/flamfilms/ http://flamberge.iwarp.com/flamfilms/
    Let me know what you think. Yes that is me on the poster.
  9. The_Scream_Man Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2000
    star 5
    VERY cool man. I really liked it. My only thing would be to maybe make the fave central, and eliminate th moon with the 1 in it. but cool none the less
  10. Flamberge Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 1
    thanks for the comment. It is weird because I had trouble with what to put in the center of the poster. I knew I wanted the layout like it was, but the cetner I was drawing a blank. So I decided to put a planet there, but I didn't know what else to do. The planet was too big to be by itself. My original idea was to have the main character's ship infront of the planet in a sillouette type view, but I haven't built the ship yet. Finally I decided on the I. Maybe I will fix it later. did you like the Flamberge Films banner? Thanks again.
  11. elwood731 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2000
    star 1
    Good luck with that.

    Be sure to repost when you have some shots from the film itself too.

    Posters and still photos, something that whets the appetite of fan film junkies.
  12. Jean Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2003
    star 1
    Upping for the move
  13. _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2000
    star 4
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