Before A Very Good Day*3/12* FINAL POST!! BRUCK GETS HIS JUST REWARDS

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ewen, Oct 27, 2003.

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  1. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Time period: JA
    Characters: QGJ, OWK, Bruck, OCs.
    Synopisis: Jinn can overlook the obnoxiousness of Bruck in order to help him find a place in the Jedi order, can Obi-Wan? Will Bruck hurt or help the improving relationship between Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi?

    italics indicates mind speech or thought

    TITLE: A Very Good Day, Indeed!!

    The day or at least the climate of the day matched Obi-Wan?s soaring spirits. Nothing could be more perfect than what he had just experienced. He had been given the rest of the day to enjoy the outside. Master Jinn had been so pleased with the way he executed the fifth kata, he permitted his apprentice a half day?s break from the normally grueling afternoon filled with practice and more practice.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi was a member of the highest order of the land, the Jedi. He was the proud apprentice to one of the most revered masters of that discipline. If he had one goal, a dream of his destiny he wanted to fulfill, it was the be the best Jedi in the order once he too was deemed worthy and old enough to be a Jedi knight.

    From now Obi-Wan had to be content with how his training went. He had at least ten to twelve years of apprenticeship under Jedi master Qui-Gon?s Jinn?s mentoring before he too was a knight in the order. Before he could be a master he would have to tutor successfully a padawan like himself.

    Obi-Wan lay in the lush green grass on a steep little hill far enough away from the temple to be absolutely solitarily alone, yet still on Jedi temple property. This day of relaxation was just what he wanted; the solitude and outdoor scenery his choice for a perfect day. He had one leg propped up, crossed over the other, held up by his knee, sucked on a blade of sweet ginger-root grass , and his arms folded behind him as a pillow. He studied the floating clouds and counted his blessings.

    Contentment would be the best word to describe the apprentice. Just three months previous he thought he would windup in the Agricorps overseeing onion fields and moisture farms. Little did he even dream that the most sought after master by all available initiates would choose him to be his apprentice.

    Yes, a very good day indeed. The best one second only to the day I became the Jedi apprentice to Master Qui-Gon. Nothing could top that day; maybe the day of my knighthood but I am not sure that could beat my becoming Master Jinn?s apprentice.

    ?Well, well, well, what do we have here? It is the Jedi charity case of the temple ?Oafy-Wan. Shouldn?t you be in class like a good little padawan??

    Obi-Wan?s serene thoughts and very good day was interrupted by his worst enemy at the temple, Bruck Chun. Yes, good old Bruck with his striking good looks, solid white head of hair that the sun?s rays only beautifully accented more, stood in front of Obi enough so to block the sunlight he was there to bask in.

    His looks alone brought attention to Bruck Chun immediately from any master that saw him. Bruck's problems had nothing to do with his attention grabbing looks. It was his Jedi capabilities, or lack of them for any master to really consider him as their apprentice once they got past his dark stare with his ebony hollowed-out eyes. In other words, he was considered what padawans and older initiates called a Jedi dud.

    ?Maybe I should ask you the same thing *Initiate* Chun.? The word initiate was cruelly accented so that Bruck knew his station.

    Although Obi-Wan was only an apprentice in the Jedi order, his station was higher than Bruck?s and he required some respect from the boy who was actually older than he.

    ?Don?t you have a class to go too? Or maybe you are expected back at the crècheling ward soon. Could that be the case? Better be careful. Crèche master Marian will be out looking for you. You know how she is if she thinks one of her crèchelings have gone missing.?

    Obi-Wan who had for a moment sat up half way when he noticed his deliciously pleasant feel
  2. Xanatos_son_of_Crion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 2

    Woo-hoo! First replie.


    Qui-Gon, if you think you can handle both Obi-Wan and Bruck on the same mission, you must have surper-powers or something. I wish you luck.


    Great story!
  3. Seraphena Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2003
    star 3
    bruck and obi on the same mission, with Qui-Gon, I have a bad feeling about this.
    Wonderful!
  4. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Welcome back ewen. Let the fun begin!
  5. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    I enjoyed reading this.

    Obi-wan's relationship with Qui-Gon as Master and Apprentice was described well.

    I liked the fact that a Jedi was relaxing instead of racing over the galaxy on some quest...

    This part was fine......
    He had one leg propped up, crossed over the other, held up by his knee, sucked on a blade of sweet ginger-root grass , and his arms folded behind him as a pillow. He studied the floating clouds and counted his blessing.

    Also, I learnt more about Bruck.
  6. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Xani- Nice to hear from you. Thanks for the feedback

    Keeper_of_the Swords- Hope I can keep it interesting enough to keep you reading.

    P.K.- What can I say. Feels like being back with friends. I chose this story to put up because unlike the others, it is finished except for editing a bit here and there. .

    Seraphena- You are new to my stories. At least I have never seen you post before. I hope to put up another post by the weekend, Friday I think. Please stop back by. There are so many good stories on this board, including Xani?s, I can see that I will have to fight for feedback!!!!!!

    PEACE ewen
  7. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Obi-Wan found himself the third wheel that evening at last meal. His master had refused to speak to him after Obi-Wan?s own refusal to answer when his master called him out on his feelings for Bruck Chun. No, his feelings were not Jedi-like, they were the most vile destructive thoughts one being could have of another. Of course Obi-Wan did not say that. He could never trust Bruck and that to Obi meant he could never be a true friend to him just for that reason.

    Padawan Kenobi let the eerie lingering silence between him and his master be his answer and for that Qui-Gon had become livid with him. Livid through the bond for the Jedi initiate did not have a clue that there was a disagreement between master and apprentice and he was the direct cause of it all.

    Had Bruck known, that would have delighted him even more. More delighted than he was already because Obi felt Jinn had been a little too Jedi-compassionate when it came to his arch nemesis in question.

    The reason Obi did not want to answer was two fold. One underlining cause of his refusal to answer his master was the shame he felt because of his animosity toward Bruck. Another reason he balked on answering his master was because he felt Qui-Gon should have known through their bond how he felt and in some degree should have sided with his apprentice.

    Obi-Wan felt Master Jinn ignored his feelings in order to boost Bruck?s ego and Obi-Wan refused to be any part of something that improved his worst enemy?s predicament. Put simply, Obi felt Qui-Gon should have been a little more loyal to him and not Bruck Chun since Master Jinn knew how spiteful the oldest initiate could be, especially toward Kenobi.

    Master Jinn was also well aware of Bruck?s lies that nearly sent Obi-Wan to the Agricorps without a chance to fight for Master Jinn again.

    This had been one of the worst days in his life and Obi-Wan had no desire to end it in such a disheveled way. Qui-Gon had all but ignored his pad aan to make sure Bruck felt at ease with them. Maybe it was not a sight of Obi-Wan by his master but it felt like it. Kenobi did want to make amends to his master. He intended to speak pure and honest thoughts about Bruck, but Master Jinn made it so diffiuclt with his unrelenting stone stare, Obi-Wan's words started to come out wrong.

    "Padawan Chun forgive if I have been less than attentive to you. I know my behavior has been uncharacteristic for a Jedi and for that I apologize If there is anything I can do to make you feel more at ease or part of us, please allow me to do it."

    How?s that Master. Couldn?t get any more Jedi proper than that now could I?

    Obi had meant for his shields to be in place and in place securely against the bond with his master. Talking back to one?s master even in thoughts was frowned upon in the order and was cause to reprimand an apprentice.

    Obi-Wan looked to his master and saw one eyebrow cocked up higher that the other; a sure sign he was displeased with Obi-Wan in some way. Only then did the padawan realize his shields had slipped a bit and Qui-Gon ?heard? every word thought by Obi. Not good, not good at all.

    He suddenly dropped his gaze and waited for some harsh lecture from his master. He hated for Bruck to hear them just as badly as he regretted disappointing his master. However, the reprimand didn?t come and Obi was a little shocked to see an almost smile on his master?s face as Jinn sent a private message through their shared mind thoughts.

    Next time Obi, put some sincerity behind it and mean what you say. Oh and yes you might want to work on your shielding. A crècheling could have done better than you just now.

    Padawan Kenobi?s mood was greatly improved by the little humor that passed between the two. Bruck being the bumbling initiate he was, failed to thank Obi. Jinn?s apprentice got the feeling that although Bruck could not har his thoughts as his master had, he didn?t believe the words any more than Obi meant them.

    Still out of sorts with the time Master Jinn took to share with Bruck
  8. Xanatos_son_of_Crion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 2

    Poor Obi-Wan

    :(


    Poor Bruck

    :(



    I know I should be totally on Obi-Wan's side, but I feel a little sorry for Bruck 'cause he never gets taken as an apprentice and then in the books he died, so...No comment


    Except to say: great job!

  9. Seraphena Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2003
    star 3
    you made up for it being short by it being really good.

    Only then did the padawan realize his shields had slipped a bit and Qui-Gon ?heard? every word thought by Obi. Not good, not good at all. :)

    Seems likes boths sides could use some self confidence. Love how you are portraying bruck in this!
  10. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
  11. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Xan, you only feel sorry for Bruck because you're the one who corrupted him 8-}
  12. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Hey Ewen! Welcome back!

    I like the JA with Bruck and this one is starting good... Glad your back.

    Bruck is rotten as usual. Obi will have his hands full, his own lack of confidence won?t help. It is hard with a jerk like Bruck rubbing your nose in it every opportunity. :D
  13. Xanatos_son_of_Crion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 2

    [face_laugh]

    PadawanKitara:
    *Blinks*

    Oh yeah! I did, didn't I? No wonder I have this reappearing nightmare where Bruck is chaseing me screaming "It's your fault!" And here I thought it was cause I had too much suger! 8-}

  14. jedibear30 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2002
    star 1
    welcome back ewen. good to have you back. this looks like an interesting story. see ya later
  15. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Jealousy and revenge, yumm the the makings of a tasty story, I see your off to a great start. 7
  16. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Altaira, "7", JB30, along with P.K. & Xani plus the newcomers,"Keeper" and Seraphena[interesting *real*name], it is beginning to feel like a family homecoming!!

    How about a post today?

    PEACE ewen
  17. Xanatos_son_of_Crion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 2
  18. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
  19. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Me, me... gets me away from the yard work. :D Breaks over, back outside.
  20. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    ##The three Jedi just off the ship after landing on Dagobah##


    Obi-Wan was only a few seconds behind Qui-Gon in powering up his own Jedi saber.

    So much for an easy safe mission. The padawan?s first thrust forward brought instant gratification in way of a successful hit to his opponent.

    Obi-Wan was like any Jedi when it came to the aspect of bringing fatal harm to another being, he despised doing it, but soon found as most older Jedi had, it was necessary, if he wanted to out survive his rival.

    He bit his lip until blood was drawn, as he maneuvered his way toward the army of ?Antrapids?; ant-like creatures that walked upright on their back two legs. Their other four remaining legs and their antennae tentacles were used as a deadly chemical weapon.

    A simple jab forward or the waving of a saber would not be a deterrent for these bug-like beings, that possessed more insect anatomy equipment, than human qualities. Nothing less than the real thing, a battle engagement would stop them. They were more than willing and ready to fight until their death.

    In papers read about them some scripted that the Antrapids preferred death over failure in battle.

    The author-penned description did not exaggerate their tenacity to stay their ground and battle, possibly to their death. Never have I come against a more determined bunch, not even the Hutts under Jabba?s command.

    One after another he struck down each Antrapid that advanced toward him. Preferably with a non deadly blow, he succeeded in downing them, even if it meant their death. Thoughts of the outcome to him if not successful or one misstep kept Obi-Wan alert and more than cautious.

    He studied his lesson well on the war-like species of beings on Dagobah. It passed through his mind more than once the query as to why they had waited for the Jedi?s arrival. Normally they were very seldom seen unless they had an agenda to complete. Padawan Kenobi wondered if the Jedi were their *agenda*?

    Meanwhile toward the front of the outside of the ship, Qui-Gon, with Bruck glued to his side, was in his own heated battle. Bruck used the most common and basic of Jedi saber techniques, however it was clear he was not being very successful with the child-like maneuvers.

    Master Jinn got the distinct feeling Bruck Chun?s movements and faked battle engagement was just that, a facade. He didn?t seem real interested in actually making contact with the creature and the more he was advanced upon, the closer he huddled next to the large Jedi master.

    Qui-Gon, too engrossed in battle, could not take the time to assess exactly what it all meant, other than Bruck was not fully prepared as an older initiate should be.

    His time and thoughts would best directed at his opponents and his own apprentice, who, while he might have feared the attack, at least made an attempt to actually retaliate against his aggressors.

    Qui-Gon found it easy to overtake several of his adversaries as he waded through a proverbial army of creatures that were not armed with any made weaponry, but the weaponry they were born with; their four unused legs and twin hair-covered antennae tentacles with each hair acting as a pinpoint weapon filled with a deadly toxins.

    Some Jedi believed death might be the more welcome outcome once the poison was injected into ones?s body. The consequences of the poison was almost less desired than one?s death if struck with many of the pinpoint hairs, particularly while they went through the horrendous process of recovery; It took sometimes weeks for the venomous poison to be purged from one?s circulatory system and major organs and had to begin immediately after the poison was injected into them, if they hoped for complete recovery.

    Bruck did manage to make a couple of good moves ?well average moves to complete his duty. His opponent fell after several minutes of battle. The Antrapids were a little like Bruck Chun in that they were not particularly good at the battle moves. But what they lacked in strategy they
  21. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    [face_shocked] oh no... Obi-Wan is poisoned and hiding it! I know he is just an apprentice but some things should be told. He did handle the Antrapids well.

    Bruck was no help at all. Hope Qui-Gon doesn?t think that lazy coward only needs more training. Qui needs to see the truth that useless is who he is. This may take awhile. :mad:
  22. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    I like this, remind me of Gundarks and Xenomorphs. (The ant-like creatures of the ALIEN series)
  23. Xanatos_of_Telos Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Um, Obi-Wan, I seriously suggest you tell Qui-Gon what happened. Otherwise, I fore see some major problems....


    Bruck! You should have remembered your Temple lessons! A lot of help you were!

  24. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Obiwan quit being bad and tell him what is wrong so he can help you.
  25. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
    Yucky bugs, reminds me of Starship Troopers. Bruck will not have to scheme a way to rid himself of Obi, Obi will take care of that himself I see. Soooo exciting :D 7
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