Before A Very Good Day*3/12* FINAL POST!! BRUCK GETS HIS JUST REWARDS

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ewen, Oct 27, 2003.

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  1. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    I have lost so many readers. Jedi 7, JB 30, and Xanatos. Maybe my stories aren't what they used to be. I am thankful for those who have stuck with me.

    Here is another post from a very unhappy writer. If you area lurker, could you just post so I will know there are more than two or three people reading my story continually.-ewen

    #########

    "Padawan Crion, I think you should return to your master?s side. We wouldn?t want a repeat performance of your actions prior to your first explosion from the temple. Remember the one that even Master Jinn couldn?t get you out of.?

    ?Just what is that suppose to mean Master Plo Koon? I never attacked any master while I was here at the temple the last time, as I feel I should do this time. Another important fact in your statement is that I didn?t want to be kept here at the temple. I had no desire to remain a Jedi,.?

    ?Well, you will be out just as quickly as last if that is your desire this time, if you do not remove yourself from the initiates? wing. The one you seek is not here.?

    ?Just why do you have to speak in some kind of mystical riddle, to make yourself more profound sounding that you really are. I am here to fetch Obi-Wan Kenobi for his master?my master? our master, Qui-Gon Jinn. You know who I want. Why be so pompous about it.?

    ? Padawans should be cautious in their words to a council master. We do not take kindly to the ridiculing one of us.?

    ?I am going to do more than ridicule you if you do not tell me where Master Jinn?s apprentice is.?

    Eeth Koth, a calmer master than Plo Koon, but still one not to tolerate insolence from any mere padawan, spoke up.

    ?Well, you are Jinn?s padawan, silly *BOY*.?

    With the joke he just made he postured himself with his arms crossed and a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he turned to see if mirth had registered on Plo Koon?s face as it registered in his mind.

    ?Don?t play as dumb as you look, Master Koth?

    ?Listen Crion, when all our problems at the temple are over, you will pay for your actions. As for Jinn?s apprentice, if you are referring to Initiate Kenobi, he is in the holding cells down in the cellar of the temple. If I were you, I would use extreme caution when I reached the lower level and certainly if you or Master Jinn are granted permission to visit with the little sith. He could be as dangerous to you as he has proven to be to the temple and the others in it.?

    ?Sith.. Obi-Wan a sith?.. Why you?.?

    ?Padawan Crion?? stop now?

    The command thundered from Master Jinn as he stomped over to where the three stood in heated argument. ?You have no fight with these masters, so step down. Back off, catch your breath, and explain to me what is going on here?. They are doing their duty as they see it. As we will we do what we deem is our duty. Come with me.?

    ?Master Jinn, see to it that you rein in that new or old padawan of yours. If he continues to assault physically and verbally council masters, he will find no room here at the temple for him. Maybe he can be force tied as your former apprentice Kenobi is and shipped away as we plan to do with him.?

    ?Neither of my apprentices, former or present is going anywhere.?

    ?Why should the council masters show any leniency for Obi-Wan Kenobi, you didn?t. If his own master finds him unworthy enough to forfeit his position as a padawan, why should we consider him a Jedi any longer anyway. If he wasn?t a favored one of Master Yoda?s, he would have been on Bandomeer by now. Had he been, the temple would not be virtually under seige by the dark side as it is now.?

    It took all the powers that be to keep Qui-Gon from doing what Xanatos planned to do before he was stopped by his master. He wanted to lunge at Plo Koon but Xani evidently didn?t have that much control, because with the words to his master the newly appointed padawan made his own lunge toward the masters.

    Had Jinn not grabbed the younger man by the nape of his neck, he would have been on top of one or both of the council master
  2. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks for the post Ewen, always out here looking for you. :) I had lurked on the entire ?Could have been Me?, took until the very end to finally post a thank you. [face_blush] That was my first post with you, and been with?ya since. :D

    ?Lay a Whisper on my Pillow? & ?Prophecy Denied? Stayed with ya there
    ?Darker Side of Light? Lurker! and I really liked that one... & ?"Darkest Hour, Brightest Hope? Lurker there. :(


    On to ?A Very Good Day, Indeed?

    Still no answers... :( The jedi are out of character and it does not look good for Obi-Wan. I think Qui and Xani may hit someone before this one is over. [face_devil]

    Sadly, Renny does seem to be the one with the insight, he doesn?t need the force to know the danger is our new dark addition. Bruck just doesn?t get it. [face_laugh]

    Who? Went back through the books, most of the evils were female. Besides Xan that is. I don?t know who you are going to pull out of the shadows but if I had to put forth a guess somebody like the mad hatter Lundi. Although he came along later. :confused: They make a lot of enemies along the road but most come along later and did not use the force. :( :confused: Not a clue...
  3. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Delurks.

    Grrr... this evil council. Hope they'll regret their mistake to doom Obi-wan deeply.

    Ewen, I'am addicted to this story and to every single word you'll write. Can't never get enough of your writing, always looking for more...
    Thank you for brighten my life with your exeptional work.

    Please post soon.


    You started a Obi-wan on Probation story at FFN, would be very happy if you would go back to work on it.
    :D
  4. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Yes, I do have a couple of stories I need to continue and I will. I only have six more weeks on this writing course.

    It consumes alot of time on the computer, writing!!

    Hey, maybe I will improve, but don't hold your breath.

    The instructor and I already don't see eye-to-eye.

    OOPS I hope she doesn't read FF, though I doubt that too.

    Too straight laced, prim and proper to open up and have fun!!!!

    Thanks guys!!!

    PEACE ewen
  5. KSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 1998
    star 3
    I'm always checking your stories, not to worry! I don't get to use the computer until quite late on weekdays, so I can't make any sensible comments beyond "me too." ;)



    So don't think you're losing readers because we don't post, we just can't think straight!

    Great Story!.......
    Incredibly Annoying and Stupid Jedi Council! :mad:
  6. JediANGELA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 28, 2002
    star 6
    delurks




    Im here!!!! Ive been lurking on your other stories Ewen, theyre great, so is this one!
  7. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    Stupid Jedi Council!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Stupid Jedi Council!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Stupid Jedi Council!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Stupid Jedi Council!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Stupid Jedi Council!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And of course STUPID QUIGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  8. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    See ewen we are (almost) all here. I'm just too brain dead to give a real reply tonight.
  9. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    This story is going to end well right!?
  10. jedibear30 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2002
    star 1
    hey there.
    i haven't abandoned you ewen. real life has hit with a vengence. i am back to work fulltime now and have possibly landed a second job at aol. i am reading when i can but work comes first. too many bills piled up in the past few months. i am here even if i can't post as much as i want to.
  11. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
    *de-lurks*

    Still here. :D

    *re-lurks*
  12. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Having itinerated, I would like to add there is no way, in any shape or form our dear Obi-Wan is causing this. So, evil Ewen please do give us some ease in this and [face_laugh] LET ME SEE QUI PUNCH SOMEONE [face_devil]
  13. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    To those who delurked thank you.

    JB30, I know things have been rough and I wanted to see if you were still with us. Glad things are going bit better.

    J.K.150 I suspected you were there all along, sitting on your hands so you couldn't post[just kidding] thanx.

    It is nice to see names I haven't seen before though.

    K. Skywalker- I knew you came out once in awhile.

    Jeday & JediAngela I don't remember seeing your names before, thank you.

    P.K.,JJGirl, & Altaira you truly are my bucket brigade for staying with me!!!

    ############################


    More than once, as the Jedi master Jinn made his way to the holding cells of the temple he *thought* he felt or *heard* something behind him. Each time he whipped around to try to catch a glimpse at what caused the eerie feeling, his hair on the back to stand up, and the goose bumps that spread up his arms, he saw nothing.

    Little did the Qui-Gon know, that though he had dealt with all sorts of evil thrown at him by the dark side, it always had a messenger, a vessel to carry and execute the evilness. Never before had pure evil, the dark force itself come without a living being to carry out the devilish deeds mastered by the force guided by all that was wrong with the galaxy.

    The ruler of the dark force, or simply put the dark force itself in his natural state of being, had the capability of appearing as a shadow of a person for ten or fifteen minutes if need be. Like the time he visited the two odd little boys in the cell, but he could not sustain his appearance as long as he would like..

    For he ?it? was just an entity of evil in the purest form. It lived and breathed as humanoids did, but it couldn?t not carry itself as beings in the galaxy did. It was only an aura summoned forth out of the common need of those who would do harm and seek evil over the force of good. A feeling, a rancorous smell, a streak of bad luck, but it had no body, only a soul. A soul molded and formed out of existing desires of others to do harm, seek vengeance and was malicious for the sake of being so. All pure unadulterated, unfettered evil came together to form the *DARK SIDE*.

    This stalker of the Jedi was the precursor to Darth Sidous and any apprentices that might follow. It was not the maker of evil for those were plenty. He.. [IT].. was the cohesiveness that kept all the devilishness together to form the dark force. The aura of the gut-wrenching wrongness that engulfed the temple and in particular Jinn and his two pupils had no eyes, yet could see.

    The force of the dark didn?t need to see to know and feel exactly where Jinn was headed and was well satisfied that the big Jedi was going there. You might say it was the dark force?s goal to have all three Jedi, Obi, Xani, and Jinn together in one place.

    Now let him see just a touch of the wrath and mind control I can administer to Obi-Wan or *his* other, Xanatos. Crion tasted the dark side and did not care for my flavor but tasting it and becoming focal point of my wrath are two different things. Maybe he will change his mind and return to me once I have finished with him, and his master Qui-Gon.. As for Jinn, unless he does as I say, he will be to watch in agony as both his padawans succumb to the dark side, never again to wish to be a Jedi. At least if he does as I command, he will be with them, in my realm of reality?. the dark side ?..

    ?It is Master Jinn to you Xani, and if you haven?t felt anything, you are not focused on the here and now. I get a sense that we are being watched or followed. I don?t know, it is just that there is something out of place around us. Like and aura is following us and it not one the force, our force created. No this is something from hell itself.?

    ?Master Jinn, There Qui how?s that I called you master you are beginning to sound like you are describing the anomalies I, as a senior padawan use to terrif, the young ones with in my ghost stories. I know you and Master Yoda sat in o
  14. KSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 1998
    star 3
    Uh......The Darkside itself?

    Hopefully Qui-Gon and his boys can do away with it!
  15. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    It seems to have a personality, so not sure. Spirit of the Darth Bane?
  16. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
  17. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    ~hugs quigon~ for once it wasn't his fault 8-}
  18. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    This evil one is as evil as you could get. shivers. You did sum up just how very evil this dark influence can be. :( Don?t think it can be punched. :_| I had to re-read the history of the Sith, oh yeah... that?s who Bane was. Really need to keep up on these things. ;) You did a great job describing him/it nonetheless.

    Doesn?t look like the sun will shine for our three jedi. Glad JJGirl has received some relief about Qui. The plot is growing in epic proportions. :)
  19. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    The darkside is working its evil.

    But we will keep the blue side UP and pull this out of the shadows. :D
  20. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    ~keeps hugging quigon~ Nice and comfy like a pillow hehehehe
  21. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    Ok people's let me show you what i found on another site, while we wait for ewen 8-}

    This story has thee happeest ending i have ever read, and everyone in the end gets just what they want as well, it made me cry for 20 minutes and you people should really read this story as well, it's short only takes 30 minutes to read, let me know if you guys like it as much as i did. No i did not write this a friend of mine did.


    http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/Daydreams.html
  22. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4

    Thanx for being so patient. At least I think you have been patient!!! ewen

    #######################

    Jinn tried to hide his shock at being pushed away by Obi-Wan. Now was not the time to let his ego or his feelings shadow the pressing issues at hand.

    He knelt down beside the overly small cot and got within whispering distance of his apprentice.

    ?Obi-Wan, you have to answer a question for me. I know you must be angry with me but??

    Obi-Wan's mind was slow to register what his master, former master whispered to him. He was was uncommonly confused by the evil that swirled around him and eventually had seeped through past h is shields. It was a subtle act, barely a brush against his mind when the dark side himself inserted thoughts of pure hatred for his master. So soft and light was the mental invasion it was like a feather lightly brushing the skin. Obi-Wan had no knowledge of it at all. He truly believed himself capable of such hateful feelings he had for Qui-Gon. He wouldn?t have imagined some evil coercion had taken over.

    ?Angry? Don?t you think I might have a right to be just a wee bit ?angry?? No Master Jinn, I am far more than angry. I passed anger a long time ago. I just plain hate you. Is that so hard for you to believe? Don?t you think maybe I have a reason for my hatred of you *M.A.S.T.E.R*??

    Jinn could feel the venom spew out along with Obi?s words. Words he thought Obi-Wan incapable of saying to anyone let alone him. He tried to make a mental connection with his former apprentice. Before he had felt a small tendril of their bond still there, but the shields put there in Obi?s mind were too strong for him too penetrate. Little did he know there was not room for him and the ?dark one? already there.

    ?Obi you know Jedi should not??

    ?Hate!?! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. There, that?s the path to the dark side. It was the first litany taught a Jedi initiate. Should I continue? Please don?t begin that lecture on the path of evil, not now, now that I am no longer an apprentice. I know *that* part of the Jedi mantra, frontward, backward, upside down, inside out, and anyway you want to hear it, I know it. Yes, I know the Jedi do not hate but it is a feeling I can well afford to have now. I am not a Jedi or I won?t be. The council masters plan to ship me away from the temple over some trumped up charge that I have interfered with the force itself. I couldn?t have remained a Jedi anyway. I have no master. I am thirteen going on fourteen and have no master. Do you not remember the rules of the Jedi. If an initiate does not have a master he must be shipped away by the age of thirteen. You should know that We had Bruck with us on the last mission for the very same reason, no master.?

    Jinn, ever the Jedi master he was, grew exceedingly tired of Obi-Wan cutting into his sentence and finishing them for him. He also did not like the tone in his padawan?s voice.

    ?That?s enough. I will not have to speak to me in such a disrespectful tone. I am also tired of you interrupting me.?

    ?The great Master Jinn has spoken, so I am suppose to obey. I have to listen to no one now.?

    Xani stepped up between Jinn and Kenobi. He saw the flash of anger set deep in his master?s eyes, causing his brow to crinkle almost as if he was in pain. Xani also saw the big Jedi?s hand raise and start to make a swift downward descent. It would have struck its intended target, Obi?s right cheek, had Xanatos Crion not positioned himself where he did, between them.

    Xan didn?t recognize this Obi. The OBi-Wan that spoke was not Jinn?s apprentice. Something or someone had gotten to him. He also had to assess his master?s erratic behavior because even when he was at his worst, Jinn never used physical means of punishment, any kind and never.

    ?Master don?t do something you will regret. Obi is your apprentice. You may not see it that away, but you will later. There is something going on around here. We need to find out what it is and we will find o
  23. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Always patient, :) and a last check for the night.

    Also, in no conition to read. [face_shocked] [face_devil] Back on the morrow.

    boy, that was hard, slacking on my brigade duty I?ll still read tonight, smack that girl. 8-}
  24. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Obi-Wan was confused by the evil that ? had seeped through past his shields.? If Qui-Gon had not left that opening with Obi it would not have happened. (hate for Qui) I know it?s wasn?t his fault.

    I did like Jinn thinking of him as his *padawan* almost to the point of hurt [face_shocked] and thank you Xani for interfering :)

    The creepy feeling is making me chilled. Xani has touched the dark before. Having touched it before makes sense he is the only one that sees what is happening, How long can he hold out?

    I?m going to late for work tomorrow. [face_shocked] EDIT: TODAY! [face_shocked] :eek: [face_shocked] :eek: [face_shocked] :eek:
  25. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Yes- the big bad guy is here [face_devil] [face_stoned on cough syrup]
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