Saga A Year in the Filk--365 filks for year-long enjoyment--Angel up 1/8

All right, I'm fairly infamous for my tendency to get a parody idea from anything, so I thought I'd do a collection of them. Here, for January 1, is "I Dreamed a Fic" by Leia Organa herself. It may bear a striking resemblance to "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables.

"I Dreamed a Fic"

I dreamed a fic in times gone by
when hope was high and Bail was living
I dreamed that Mom would never die
I dreamed that Darth would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
and vigs were written, read and locked then
There were no bounties to be paid
No filk unsung, no humor mocked then

But the bunnies come at night
To tear all my dreams asunder
and they tear my plans apart
and they AU without shame

Han should have slept right by my side
Luke should have never made me wonder
The EU has destroyed my pride
And sense just fled when Dark Nest came

And still I dream they'll write me right
That the kids and Han will live together
But all the profic is a blight
and it's a storm I cannot weather

I had a dream epics would be
So different from Sith hells I'm living
So different now from what they seemed
Profic has killed the dream I dreamed

 

For January 2, "What is this feeling?" sung by Han and Leia. A filk of a song by the same title from Wicked

"What is this feeling?"

LEIA:

What is this feeling so sudden and new?

HAN:

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.

LEIA:

My pulse is rushing

HAN:

My head is reeling

LEIA:

My face flushing

BOTH:

What is this feeling?
Strong as rancid lum
I'm sure its name will come
Yes...
Annoyance
Unchecked literal annoyance

HAN:
For your mouth

LEIA:

Lack of clairvoyance

BOTH:
Let's just say
I hate it all
Every little thing, however small
Makes me really driven up the wall
With simple, plain annoyance
There's a strange sense of abhorrence
When the angst comes down in torrents
It's so common and wrong
Though I do admit it happened fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be annoyed just by you my whole life long.

REBELS:

Princess Leia you are just too good!
How do you stand him I don't think I could!
He's a scoundrel and nerf-herder
We don't mean to show a bias
But you're stiffer than a girder

LEIA:

Well, these things are sent to try us.

REBELS:

Poor Organa forced to endure
a man whose loyalties are not sure
we just want to say we're sure
her motives are pure
We share your annoyance

HAN AND LEIA:

What is this feeling so sudden and new?

REBELS:

Unchecked literal annoyance

H&L:

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.

REBELS:

For his lack of some clairvoyance

H&L:

My pulse is rushing
My head is reeling

REBEL:

We hate it all

H&L:

What is this feeling?
Strong as rancid lum
I'm sure its name will come
Yes...
Annoyance
Unchecked literal annoyance
For your mouth
Lack of clairvoyance
It's so common and wrong
Though I do admit it happened fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be annoyed just by you,
just simply truly bugged by you
my whole life long.

 

For January 3, we get out of the Broadway realm and into the area of oldies with "Yesterday" by Luke. It may resemble the Beatles:

Yesterday

LUKE:

Yesterday
Alderaan just seemed so far away
Now it seems Darth Vader's here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not the Jedi that I should be
There's some mystery hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly

Why'd Ben have to go?
I don't know, he wouldn't say.
Something still feels wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
Doing right was not some game I played
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday

 

For January 4, "Kiss of the Spider Woman" becomes "Kiss of the Fanfic Woman"

Kiss of the Fanfic Woman

Sooner or later you're certain to meet
in a vignette, an epic, whatever tout suite
There's no place 'round here you're likely to miss
her kiss

Sooner or later, in mushfic or doom
when the boards time strikes midnight she'll walk in the room
and the readers will shake and the OCs will hiss
here comes her kiss

And your hope grows dimmer
When the interest ebbs
and her dark eyes shimmer
and you're aching to move but you're caught on the Web
of the fanfic woman
in her velvet cape
you can scream but you cannot escape

Sooner or later your 'ship will be written
And one touches your heart
You're alert and just smitten
But there's only one pin
that can puncture such bliss
her kiss

Sooner or later you AU success
and your Padawans salute
they say nothing but "yes!"
But your power is empty
It fades like the mist
Once you've been kissed

And your sun grows dimmer
So the posts don't ebb
And your death comes faster
And you're aching to leave
But you're caught on the Web
Of the Fanfic Woman
In her jeans and cape
You can run
You can scream
You can hide
but you cannot escape!

 

People Will Say We're in Love

LEIA:

Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours?
Why do the writers chatter all day on fanfic boards?
I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue
Here is the gist, a practical list of "don'ts" for you

Don't say pet names at me
Don't please my bro too much
Don't sneer at my jokes too much
People will say we're in love!

Don't roll your eyes at me
Your disgust is so like mine
Your adrenaline mustn't flow like mine
People will say we're in love!

Don't start collecting things
Give me my gun and my glove
Nerfherder, they're suspecting things
People will say we're in love.

HAN:

Don't doubt my charm too much
Don't act so vain with me
Don't say something plain to me
People will say we're in love!

Don't punch my arm too much
Don't mimic the kid and whine
You've got no ship but shouldn't use mine
People will say we're in love!

Don't fight all night with me
Till the Death Star fades from above.
They'll see it's alright with me
People will say we're in love.

 

And now for something completely different, here's a rap.

SITH LORD'S PARADISE

DARTH:

As I stalk through the Temple where I've caused so much death
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left
Cause I've been slicin' and dicin' so long that
Even my Master thinks that my mind is gone

But I ain't never killed a kid that didn't deserve it
He be treated like a Jedi, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you planning and why you're damning
Or you and your Padawans might be lined in chalk

I really hate to kill, but I gotta cry
as they die I see myself ready to fry, fool
I'm the kinda J that little younglings wanna be like
With my wife in the night
Telling lies by the morning light

Been spending most my life
living in a Jedi's Paradise
Now I'll spend all my life
Living in a Sith Lord's Paradise
Been spending most my life
living in a Jedi's Paradise
Now I'll spend all my life
Living in a Sith Lord's Paradise

Forgot the situation they've got me facing
I can't live a Jedi life, I was raised by the street
So I gotta be down with the Council team
Too much secret marriage got me chasing dreams

I'm an overtrained fool with childbirth on my mind
got my sword in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a angsted-out Jedi, mold-breaking red-eye
And my Master's real tough, so don't arouse my anger, fool

Death ain't nothing but a heart-beat away
I'm robbing life do-or-die ah, what can I say
I'm twenty-two now will I live to see twenty-three?
the way things are going we'll just have to see

Tell me why are they--so blind to see
That the ones I hurt--aren't Padme or me

Been spending most my life
living in a Jedi's Paradise
Now I'll spend all my life
Living in a Sith Lord's Paradise

Power unlimited, unlimited power
Youngling after youngling, hour after hour
Everybody's dying, but half of them ain't caring
What's going on in the Senate, or how the government's faring

They say I've gotta learn, but no one's alive to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't--I guess they won't
I guess they're faking that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool

Been spending most my life
living in a Jedi's Paradise
Now I'll spend all my life
Living in a Sith Lord's Paradise

Tell me why are they--so blind to see
That the ones I hurt--aren't Padme or me

 

A friend of mine is quite fond of penguins, so a year or so ago, when I saw a book called "Your Personal Penguin," I had to get it for her. Incidentally, there is a song that goes along with it that has now taken root in my head as... Your Personal Palpy.

Your Personal Palpy

I watch you a lot
You're angry, not kind
So let me explain
what I have in mind

I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to lead you to the Dark Side
I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to send you killing far and wide
Wherever you go, I'll have sent you
Here and there and everywhere and close to home, too
I want to be your personal Palpy from now on

Now lots of other Sith Lords seem to do fine
pretending everything will be nice
but if I could be yours and you could be mine
Our unlimited power would be twice as nice

I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to boss you around night and day
I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to ignore just whatever you say
Look at these arms that kept you from dying
I'd like to say again what I'm already implying
let me be your personal Palpy from now on

Now lots of other Sith Lords seem to do fine
pretending everything will be nice
but if I could be yours and you could be mine
Our unlimited power would be twice as nice

I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to lead you to the Dark Side
I want to be your personal Palpy
I want to send you killing far and wide
Wherever you go, I'll have sent you
Here and there and everywhere and close to home, too
Please, may I be your personal Palpy
Imagine me your personal Palpy
I wanna be your personal Palpy from now on.

 

Stemming from the worst pickup line ever...Here's something a little more tender after I "eviscerated a friendly, well-adjusted song."

Angel

Spend all your time working
for that seond chance
for the creed that would make it okay
There's always twelve masters
to make you feel bad enough
and it's hard at the end of hte day
You need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from our veins
Let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
you'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of your angel
fly away from here
from 500 Republica
And the worthlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your Jedi reverie
You're in the arms of your angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's Sith Lords and knives at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that life lacks
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in secret madness
This conjugal sadness that brings me to my knees


In the arms of your angel
fly away from here
from 500 Republica
And the worthlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your Jedi reverie
You're in the arms of your angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of your angel
May you find some comfort here

 

I love filk, Ish-- I have quite a lot of SW filk myself, most of it in a particular thread. But 365 filks a year is niiiice.

I Dreamed a Fic-- What can I say? Perfectly captures the mood of a fanfic writer disillusioned by EU, and stays true to the Les Miserables roots, too.

Yesterday-- It's a great song for Luke, isn't it? I have a Luke parody of it of my own. Nice job--I especially like the third verse.

Sith Lord's Paradise-- The best one, maybe. Perfect parody of Gangster's Paradise, and it is a perfect song for Vader, isn't it?

 

ShrunkenJedi--*shriek of terror* A READER! I thought that I was going to have exactly 365 posts in here because no one was reading it at all. Now that I'm used to you, welcome and thank you for reading. I've wanted to do a year of filks for a while and finally got up the nerve. Thanks for relating to I Dreamed a Fic, liking Yesterday and the third verse, and I am in love with Sith Lord's Paradise. If I could find a guy with a deep voice and a karaoke version of Gangsta's Paradise...
*****
Freeze a Little Dream of Me

LEIA (to HAN):

Cold carbonite above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Luke whining about you to Chewie
Freeze a little dream of me

I wish you were here to kiss me
To hold me tight and tell me you missed me
While I'm alone and chaste as can be
Freeze a little dream of me

Stars fading, but I linger on, dear,
Still craving your kiss
I'm tempted to leave by the dawn, dear,
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till Boushh finds you
Sweet dreams that leave all Jabbas behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Freeze a little dream of me

 

No problem at all-- as I said, I *love* filk I need to do more of it myself. I can't believe you haven't got anyone else in here . As long as you can think up so many filks, go for it!

Freeze a Little Dream of Me - Leia channels Mama Cass! ...Sweet dreams that leave all Jabbas behind you, but in your dreams whatever they be, freeze a little dream of me... I'm sure Han could agree to that

 

A parody thread! I looooove parodies! (I've written about 50 SW parodies!). Wow, I can't believe I didn't see this before! These are awesome-- I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

I love the Sith Lord's Paradise one-- that's awesome! Oh, and I love 'Yesterday' as well. Perfect song for Luke...

WOW 365! (Hey, this is a leap year-- will you be doing 366?)