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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Adrift---a planet demands Obi-Wan's life-- Author Reply 11/28/10

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Durhelediel, Jul 15, 2004.

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  1. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Ack! Kynstar you beat me to posting a review!! Ahh well. Another very good chapter. Was so nice to wake up and find this waiting for me. I especially love your characterization of Qui-Gon. He is very self-sacrificing that "take me" is exactly what he would do. =D=


    Very well done my padawan. I guess it's about time for you to be promoted since this fic is almost finished ..... :_| :)

    (happy/sad at the same time )
     
  2. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    I don't post as often as I should, but I wanted to let you know how much I've enjoyed this story. Almost at an end? That's not good news! So I guess you'll have to start on a new one? Hopefully?
     
  3. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Kynstar- Again, thank you. Hm...still not telling. You'll have to read and find out.

    Master- Yay! We going to have an official ceremony? ;) ::is happy/sad as well::

    AnakinsHeir- Phew this one has been a wild ride! Lol Yes, it will soon be finished, hopefully by tonight (on est), though a new one will not be in the works for a while. I'm going away for a week and will not be at a computer at all during that time. Perhaps I'll start on something on notebook paper...depends on the muse. I have a whole lot of other completed stories online. Just check out my bio for them (I recommend 'Blurred Present') ;)

    Thank you all for your support! I would have never been able to finish this so quickly without it!
     
  4. masterobiwankenobi

    masterobiwankenobi Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Just found this. it is really good, definately something i've never read before. can't wait for more.

    Peggy
     
  5. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Peggy- so glad to see that you found this! The Obi lover that you are, I'm hoping you are enjoying it!
     
  6. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Chapter Sixteen

    The Jedi left, and once again Obi-Wan was left to face the Mother Planet alone. Though this time there was one difference: he knew now that someone was there and fighting along side him. He was not alone. He remembered everything about his former life now.

    Forget them, Father, The Mother Planet crooned to him. Thou and I wilt soon be together for eternity, balancing the evil on my shores and below them. Thou shouldst be preparing thyself.

    Obi-Wan smiled serenely at her. I know who I am now, and it is not who you want me to be. I might not have a choice about you killing my body, but I do not have to obey what you want. The Force is here?I can feel it clearly. Once my body is gone, so am I.

    The Mother Planet regarded him for a moment, testing his honesty. The She spun around and gestured. Suddenly, Knight Justain was there again. Thou hast poisoned him against me! She accused him.

    The Knight placed his hands in the opposite sleeves of his robes and raised an eyebrow. Why should I do that?

    Thou hast been trying to warn him since his arrival!
    The Mother Planet raged. Thou knowst why I need to balance and thou hast been trying to undermine me!

    Justain smiled calmly at her. Why should I let you kill another Jedi without their knowledge of what you are getting them into? Perhaps if you'd just ask, one of us would be foolhardy enough to volunteer, though I doubt it.

    The Mother Planet glared at him, her eyes turning into echoes of her air of flame. Thou art jealous of him since he is stronger than thou art.

    Justain shook his head. That is what you don't understand and never have, Mother. Jedi are not like regular humans. Yes, we have access to the Force, but we do not go jealously after each other, nor do we use monetary means to get what we want. We are guardians of the Republic and champions of peace. We are always ready to accept death.

    Thou were not,
    She pointed out.

    Justain looked saddened. Some of us are fools and would do anything to rectify a past mistake.

    Obi-Wan watched their conversation carefully, seeking for some sort of guidance from Justain's wistful and regretful words. Here was someone who had already done what the Mother Planet wanted and, as far as he knew, was still balancing, though just wasn't strong enough to continue much longer. Which was why She needed him. He wondered if he was a strong enough Jedi to help Justain reach the Force when he left.

    Mother Planet.

    Surprised, Obi-Wan turned at his master's voice. He had thought that the Mother Planet had barred them from returning to his aide, yet here the same small group of Jedi were again, this time behind him. Qui-Gon smiled at him reassuringly, though Obi-Wan felt a lingering fear coursing through his Master that he felt had something to do with him.

    What are thy and thy friends doing back again so soon? The Mother Planet asked, clearly caught off-guard.

    Qui-Gon turned his blue eyed gaze to the manifestation. I have a compromise for you so that we both will gain what we seek.

    Her face was guarded. Thou canst have nothing that I wish.

    Listen to him, you should,
    Obi-Wan heard Master Yoda say in his usual calm way. Gain much you can.

    Fine,
    the Mother Planet snapped. What is it that thou hast to say? She reached out and Obi-Wan felt himself being drawn to her side, away from the Jedi. He tried to resist, but it was if he were caught in a whirlwind. He glared at her from his new position beside her.

    Qui-Gon pretended not to notice as his padawan was taken away from him. His eyes were resolute, though, when he said, You say you need power to restore the balance of your planet, correct?

    The Mother Planet nodded, still wary.

    But you think that only by using one Jedi, in this case my padawan, Obi-Wan, can you achieve what you wish, correct?

    As the Mother Planet nodded again, Obi-Wan found himself wonde
     
  7. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    =D= Now that is a MUCH better solution... very good Qui-Gon, very good...


     
  8. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Great! :D Figured they'd do that! Glad she's willing to try it. If she thinks about it this provides even more power. And if the Jedi do intend to keep coming back (well... except after the purge of course *snrk* wonder how she's gonna cope once that is done? hehehehehe)

    Great work!! :D :D Yippee for Qui!
     
  9. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Master- Good ol' Qui, right? lol ::sings and dances:: You didn't guessss you didn't guesss....

    Kynstar- Yep, Qui has his brain working even when there is a threat to his padawan. Too bad you guessed though. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do to get Obi out of this mess. I kindof backed myself into a corner. lol

    Although, I am thinking of doing an alternate ending with the way it probably should have ended. Not sure though...
     
  10. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Chapter Seventeen

    Obi-Wan opened his eyes, feeling more exhausted than he ever had in all of his seventeen years. He was in a round room softly lit a yellow color. Masters Yoda, Qui-Gon, Kyran, Han'yaie and padawan Anya were sitting in a circle around him, slowly opening their own eyes.

    Qui-Gon's gaze immediately came to rest on Obi-Wan. "You're looking?more solid," he said in way of greeting. "How are you feeling, Padawan?"

    Obi-Wan lifted a hand to brush back a sweaty strand of hair from his forehead and was surprised to see it was a clear color. His eyes widened and he watched his hand slowly become the solid flesh that he knew it to be. "Tired," he croaked out of a dry and raspy throat.

    After being out of his body for so long, it felt strange to suddenly have weight to his movements again. He tried to lift his head, but found he had no strength to do so. He sighed and closed his eyes again. A warm hand pressed on his forehead and he felt love and pride flow into him. He smiled, knowing it was Qui-Gon standing there.

    "Glad to have you back we are," Yoda's voice came to him. "Make us old you should not."

    Obi-Wan's eyes flew open and he stared at the small green master in shock. "Was that?a joke?" he wondered.

    Qui-Gon chuckled. "Yes, Obi-Wan. Just because one is a Jedi Master does not mean that they lose their sense of humor."

    Obi-Wan blushed, embarrassed. That wasn't what he had meant, but he left it alone as Master Han'yaie walked up to him.

    "Tell me how you feel. And be more descriptive than when you told your master," the Healer instructed, placing his hands above Obi-Wan's chest to feel his physical well-being.

    Obi-Wan took stock of his body. "I feel?exhausted. All my muscles ache, my throat hurts, and everything feels too heavy for me to lift," he said truthfully.

    Han'yaie directed Anya to his side. "Feel that, Padawan?"

    She nodded.

    "That is what it feels like when someone has returned to their body. They have internal scarring that will take time to heal. You, Obi-Wan," Han'yaie said, redirecting his conversation to the young man on the table. "You will need plenty of rest. Nothing strenuous and plenty of exercises to get your muscles back up to their regular strength. No overdoing it. On our way back to Coruscant, I'll show you what I mean and write it down for you. Understand?"

    Obi-Wan nodded once, then lay his head back on the padded table. He glanced at his master?and noticed something odd. "Master, what in the Force are you wearing?"

    Qui-Gon glanced down at his mostly naked body and flushed. "Hm, forgot what I was wearing in all the excitement to get you back, Obi-Wan." He grinned at his padawan. "And I'd be more concerned about what you were wearing, if I were you."

    Confused, Obi-Wan forced his head up again to take a look at his body. Gone were his tunic and pants?and lightsaber. In its place was a lot of shell and some sort of gem necklaces?and a mesh that did nothing to protect modesty. Suddenly, he was very aware of the fact that Anya, close to his own age, was in the room.

    "Um, it's chilly in here. Can I have a tunic or cloak or hole to hide in?" he said, his face heating.

    "Oh, Obi-Wan, really! I?m a healer!" Anya told him in exasperation.

    "But you are also a girl," Qui-Gon pointed out mildly as he took Han'yaie's cloak to cover his padawan up.

    "Master!" Obi-Wan hissed, feeling his face heat more. He was sure it was a brilliant red by now.

    Yoda gave his version of a laugh?a dry, barking sound. "Young I was once. Know it well I do. Perhaps now leave Anya should until proper clothing Obi-Wan has."

    Han'yaie nodded, hiding a grin. "Anya, you're tired; I can feel it. Why don't you go rest for a few hours? I'll wake you when we are ready to return to Coruscant."

    Anya shot Obi-Wan a glare, as if blaming him for not allowing her to do her duty as a healer's padawan, but she obeyed her master without a word of protest. Once she left, Han'yaie let out a deep throated chuckle before he tu
     
  11. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003

    "Yes, Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, his tone plainly wondering if Obi-Wan needed something else and ready to fetch it for him.

    Obi-Wan smiled. "Nice thighs."



    ROTFL!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Yes yes he does have nice thighs ;)


    =D= Well done padawan! You finished it very nicely! !!
     
  12. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    ::bows head:: Thank you, Master. You've taught me the importance of throwing humor into bleak and tight situations. Thank you for your guidance. This fic would not be the same without it.
     
  13. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    ALTERNATE ENDING: --begins at Chapter Fifteen?

    Qui-Gon's eyes flew open to reveal the round room that they were physically seated in, feeling as if a bucket of cold water had just been thrown on him. His eyes immediately traveled to Obi-Wan's body.

    "No!" He cried, jumping up. Obi-Wan's body was nearly gone. Only an extremely faint outline could be seen on the table. He tried to grab his padawan, but his hands went straight through Obi-Wan's body. "No! Obi-Wan!"

    "It failed," Han'yaie whispered in a dejected tone. His padawan crossed over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders in a silent gesture of support.

    "Qui-Gon?" Kyran tried to console Qui-Gon, but he would not let his friend touch him.

    "Obi-Wan! Come back to me, Padawan! Stay with me!" He cried, tears rolling down his cheeks and not caring. All he knew was that he had failed Obi-Wan and now his padawan was to pay a price that was unfair.

    "Qui-Gon, sorry I am," Yoda's voice came to him as if from a great distance. "Mourn him we will."

    "Go away," Qui-Gon whispered, numb. "Just go away." He didn?t hear their footsteps, but he did hear the closing of the door.

    Obi-Wan faded a bit more in the gloom of the room.

    "Oh, padawan," Qui-Gon whispered Obi-Wan, longing to hold him close to him to keep him beside him. "What can I do to help you? I have no ideas left?nothing left to offer?no brilliant scheme.

    "You were a good padawan. Did I ever tell you that? If I did, then never enough. You fought to prove to me that you were worthy to be my padawan, but I never had a doubt. Why could I not tell you that, especially after Melida/Daan?"

    He didn't know if Obi-Wan could hear him, but he was determined to tell his padawan everything he could before Obi-Wan was lost to him. Already, Obi-Wan was mostly gone, passed from the physical to the spiritual world, and not even the Force for Qui-Gon couldn't feel him there.

    Swiftly he continued, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks. "I admire your ability to stand up to me, Obi-Wan. At first, I have to admit that it alarmed and shocked me. The only one to stand up to me like that was Han'yaie and he's known me since I was in the crèche. But I grew used to you?or rather, you grew in my heart. After Xanatos I never wanted to grow close to another padawan again. I even drew away from Kyran, though he forced me to face him.

    "Then you came along. The Force plainly wanted me to save you from the farmer's path, but I resisted. I'm so glad that Yoda hit me with his gimmerstick and made me see reason before it was too late. You?" Now he choked up. He cleared his throat and rasped, "You would have made a fine Knight. I would have been proud to know you as my former padawan."

    The only response to his words was a glimmer as Obi-Wan's body completely disappeared as if it had never been. Qui-Gon did not yell or scream like he so badly felt like doing. Instead, he laid his head down on his arms and wept.

    **Author's Note: Okay, so I went ahead and did the alternate ending. lol See? A lot shorter this way. And, shock shock I killed Obi! A first for me, heehee. Okay, I'm out for a week. I'll check back with everyone when I return from Boston. Peace! :}
     
  14. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Hehehehe!! Nice thighs indeed! *snrk* that was juz hilarious!!!! And the idea that he forgot what he was wearing attributes to his love and affection for his Paddy! How sweet!! ;)

    Alternate ending was good :D Specially Qui bleeding his heart out for Obi. Sweet!

    Humor and mush at an end is good too ;)

    Great work! Awesome story! *Eards perk up* You say there could be a sequal? Sweeeeet! And to find out who messed with those two records could be great to find out ;)
     
  15. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    I've snuck online at the hotel...or one of the ones we're at up here in beautiful New England. lol Couldn't stay away all week, but not sure if I'll be able to get online again (depends on if the hotels have internet or not and how much money I have to 'bribe' my friends with laptops on getting online. heehee

    Kynstar- I'm so very pleased that you liked the ending. Well, both endings. lol And, yes, I'm thinking about a sequel, though it's very hazy right now. Though I do have another fourteen hour drive ahead of me and since I think I'm allergic to dramamine I'll be awake (and fighting carsickness).

    Well, I have to give the computer back, heehee. Take care!
     
  16. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    hehehe believe it or not I get car sick easily too! I gotta take that nasty stuff *shudders*.

    Funny thing is... I don't get air sick or sea sick. Weird ain't it? But I DO get car sick.

    Well if/when you do start the sequal give me a heads up! :D
     
  17. JEDI-KNIGHTS_R_L

    JEDI-KNIGHTS_R_L Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2004
    I love this stroy you did such a good job. But I did not like the alternet ending to sad. But i am so glad that you saved Obi-Wan. I almost lost home there at the end.
     
  18. masterobiwankenobi

    masterobiwankenobi Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Every time i turn around i miss
    a post or four. :( but i caught
    up eventually. :) i liked the
    first ending better, especially
    the lovely image of obi's
    wardrobe. ;)[face_love]

    As for the second ending i can't
    believe you killed him, although
    it fit the mood that i was in last
    week perfectly. lol. I really liked
    this story. Can't wait for your next
    story. :)

    Peggy
     
  19. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    =D= Sequel! Sequel!
     
  20. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Yay! I'm back! I'm back! So nice to be back! ::hugs chair, floor, desk, computer, internet cord, webcam, etc::

    I've missed you all (and your posts) but I had a blast in jolly New England, though it is absolutely wonderful to be out of a car(or van) right now.

    Kynstar- Well, as you see I've survived it, though I had to do it without meds. That, I must say, was an experience. The last two hours were filled mostly with me shouting "Shut up!" at those in the front of the van who had decided to start singing as loudly as possible. Ah, the joy of traveling with 11 people! lol And I didn't get a chance to start on my sequel. It's still hazy and I cross-stitched a lot (got a lot done too). I was really careful with my cross-stitch. I kept having visions of me poking myself with the needle in my eyeball. lol

    Jedi-Knight- Well, that's why the alternate ending was just that, an alternate. I have never killed Obi-Wan before and just couldn't bring myself to do it for the real ending, though he probably should have really died. Guess I'm just a romantic at heart. :D

    Peggy- Heehee, we post fast, don't we? And glad you liked both endings. Yes, I did kill Obi-Wan. Figured it would shock my 'regulars', heehee. I think I succeeded. Speaking of killing, I had to really learn patience on this trip. There was one person in particular, whom I will simply call Diva Princess, that I had to restrain myself from tossing out of the back door of the van...but I did indeed refrain and we all have made it safely back home again. heehee

    jeday- Yay! Glad to see that you liked it all! And I'm most glad I picked you up on this story instead of a different one. lol My latest work has not been very well but this one was much better.

    Well everyone, I travel HOME home Thursday but out of the dorm for a week I go tomorrow so I won't be online much after tomorrow night. Well, not until I'm Home safely anyways.

    ::glances at bed:: Wow, I get to sleep in a real bed tonight...

    ::falls over, snoring::
     
  21. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Welcome back! Glad to hear you made it back safe and sound! Your Master stayed up as long as she could ;) But sleep overcame her as well! ;) I was fixing to head off to bed when I noticed that this was at the top, so had to take a peak! ;)

    cross-stitching, eh? Well do try... oh take that back DO NOT poke yourself in the eye! ;) Forgot Master Yoda's teachings of 'do-s or do not-s' hehehe Welcome back and whenever ya start on the sequal do drop me a line! ;)
     
  22. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    *hugs and tackles padawan in a flying leap screeching* Padawan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! you're back!!!!! I tried to stay up last night and wait for you to get home. I KNEW you wouldn't be able to resist getting online the instant you got home after all this time away ;) But alas my tired eyes drooped and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. To make up for all that I wrote a short story around 7:30 this morning for your knighting ceremony *sniff sniff* Maybe now that you're back my own Darth Writer's Block will go away. I missede you!!! welcome back!


    [:D][:D][:D][:D]

    [face_dancing][face_dancing][face_dancing] Yay my padawan's back!
     
  23. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Wheee back home again! How nice! Though it's quiet in here with Princess Leia (our kitten) gone to the vet to be declawed (we got tired of her tearing up our furniture). lol

    Kynstar- Let me get my papers written first and I'll start on that sequel. ;) Though I think that most of today will be getting everything caught up. Wow it's so wierd to be back online after being gone a week or so!

    Master- ::falls over from being tackled:: Ack! lol Master, control yourself. heehee Though it is nice to be missed. And I missed ya too. More than once on that trip (on the long long LONG drives) I wished for internet to talk to you since I was limited on my cellphone minutes. But I'm back and good to go. :D
     
  24. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Ok, I think I'm going to try to get this archived, so I need some volunteers to beta.... Do I have any?

    (and Kynstar, you don't have to if you don't want to since I kind of volunteered you lol--let me know)

    ::looks around hopefully:: Anyone?
     
  25. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    I don't mind :) My offer still stands if you need me :)
     
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