Adventures of funniness in RPGs

Discussion in 'Games: RPG & Miniatures' started by That_Random_Jedi, Nov 17, 2005.

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  1. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    This one can be summed up in three sentences...

    "Excuse me, pilot? You seem to be trying to use the shields deflect the planet. It isn't working."
  2. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    >>"Excuse me, pilot? You seem to be trying to use the shields deflect the planet. It isn't working."

    "Don't worry sir. I saw it in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation."

  3. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    Polymorph Other is a fun spell.

    This one group of wizards in a crowded city set traps on their belt pouches. Anyone attempting to open the pouch without the correct password was changed into a tramp/hobo type dog. Magic Mouth adds "whoever steals from _____ is nothing but a common cur." Not knowing about this, one of the more obnoxious players (a bard) in an oversized group stole the pouch, then, while away from the rest of the party, opened it. When he went to find the ship the party had sailed in on, some of the crew and dock workers kicked him & tried to drive the nuisance animal away. Finally he got through to the wizard and did doggie-pawing to explain who he was.
    "Well, you cas polymorph self earlier, didn't you?"
    nod
    "well, you know you can change shape up to 3 times with that spell, right?"
    paw smacks self in head.


    In the middle of combat, one of the opposing mages casts polymorph other and turns one of the party into a rat.
    "I ask ___ to change me back."
    "Um, how exactly are you going to to that? you have the vocal aparatus of a rat."
    "Uhhh...."
    we happened to have a rat puppet there that night. I tossed it at him.
    "Here, you can communicate using this"

    Puppets are fun. Folkmanies boot posterior.
  4. Zarm_Rkeeg Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2003
    star 3
    I have now bookmarked this thread... give me a few days to wrack by brains, and I can probably add a couple of extra pages... ;)

    Largely due to:
    I hear ya, bro.


    One that happened just an hour or two ago:
    Playing through the culmination of a 2-year story arc (real world,) we're trapped inside the head of one of our main characters as he faces all of the dead allies & villains that he's ever encountered while fighting for dominance of his body between himself (as he used to be,) himself (as he is no, vengeful and bitter,) an Alias brought to life, a massive dosage of Imperial Brainswashing (personified,) and the life force/memories of a crystaline warrior now vying for dominance. (We're D6, mind you, and have been through most of the WEG supplememnts.) As the scene shifts from Charnge (a made up world in the Unknown Regions) to the Game Chambers of Questal to the Rebel safe world under seige from the Charron and more, we arrive at the players least favoirte destination of all time: the swamp-world of Trinta, from 'Domain of Evil.' After a brief confrontation with his personal demons (represented by the individuals responsible for killing each of the PCs that has died since his character began) a veritable army begins to rise out of the swampy waters: a corpse army consisting of betrayed comrades from Elrood, abandoned friends from Demophon, and scores of others in a host of accusations and anger...

    ...and as I begin to narrate this epic culminating conflict, I'm being drowned out by 'The Old Bamboo' musical number from Chitty-chitty-bang-bang that the PC's little sister is watching in the same room. :oops: :rolleyes:

    Anyway... many, many more stories to come...
  5. Gry Sarth Ex 2x Banhammer Wielding Besalisk Mod

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 1999
    star 5
    Wow.... I see not everyone plays Star Wars as I do! Hehehe. Really interesting to see what some people feel fits into a Star Wars adventure. It might still be the same universe and system, but by God! This is a completely different game you're playing, from the one I do.

    More power to you, bro.
  6. Zarm_Rkeeg Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2003
    star 3
    Well, you could call this particular scenario a 'divergance' from our standard gameplay format... kind of the 'Crisis On Infinite Earths' of our little RPG. But yeah, we've done some crazy things...
  7. Commando-scorch Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2006
    Yeh well me and my friend were playing a battle and he had seven hundred points worth,he had all but three of the jedi in clone strike and rots and thity two clone troopers.

    But my army consited of the AT-AT and five snow troopers......I won didn't even move my snowies but I only used one move in whole game stomp! I killed every single man in his army!!

    He really shouldn't bunch up!!!!
  8. Commando-scorch Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2006
    yeh well me and my friend were having a battle and he 700 points he had all the jedi from clone strike and rots thirty two clones.

    I had the AT-AT and 5 snow troopers, guess WHAT I WON! AND i DIDNT even use the snowies and I only used on move the whole time that is STOMP!!!
  9. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    Recently, in a fallout-based pen and paper, I came across an abandoned "Nuka Cola" production plant inhabited by a large, scaly, mutant. Of course I was unaware of his prescence, so I activated the machinary (it broke down shortly after). Before breaking, it produced a large amount of cola that tasted like, well... s***. I end up in the security room, inhabited by the skeletal remains of two security guards, when I note on the screen that in the room behind me, packaging... where the soda is ending up... a large scaly man is sniffing at the cola. He opens up and drinks from a cherry flavoured cola.

    My perception is high enough, so I am treated to the following phrase muttered from the room over. "Hm. This actually tastes like cherry. If by cherry you mean S***! OH GAWD MY MOUTH BURNS LIKE MY GENITALIA!" Followed by wild thrashing on the security monitor, while the poor man scrapes his tongue, trying to get the taste out.

    We later determined that you can concoct a powerful poison by mixing lime, cherry, and normal flavours together.
  10. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    I would argue that most any soda is poison.

    What most people don't realize is that soda is a dehydrant. The more you drink, the more fluid it takes OUT from your system, the thirstier you get. You are deceiving your bodies and minds. Your system tells your brain you are thisty and need fluid. You drink soda. Your mouth and stomache tell your brain you've taken in fluids. You body tells your brain you need more. You drink More soda...

    [face_whistling]

    and so it continues.

    Try lemonade.

    Actually, we used to mix Squirt with Lemonade to get the happy bubbly fizziness with the quenching of lemonade, with the added benefit of super citric yumminess.


    House rule: whoever finishes off the pitcher of lemonade must make more. Violators will be soaked! One person didn't learn and had to be reminded. I poured a pitcher of water over his head.
  11. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    Well, yeah, soda does dehydrate and decieve. D&D. But, we meant poison in the violent cramps, sweating, vomiting, and dying way.

    Sounds like a cool house rule, though. Now that I think of it, I even live next to a ditch... hm...
  12. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    No one in the party wanted to have a ship (rather, no one wanted the bounty on their heads), but they needed a consistant way to get from planet to planet.

    So...


    "Ma Rooouka Lay" was a ship built of junk and spare parts. The boxy lower hull of a cargo drudger with the sleeping compartment of another design, and a cockpit bubble sphere from a submersible craft. Glommed onto that were various odds and ends, like floodlights, weapons, tractor beam, drive systems, landing gear, emergency water life-raft, etc. It was an ugly freightor.

    Neei-to, a force-sensative Rodian Pacifist was the owner. He became a student to the one party member with Jedi training. He would sell off the weapons systems or just the power crystals in order to make the ship more peaceful in keeping with his interpretation of the Force. He would also drain the power from the party's weapons, or otherwise sabotage their ability to do violence. He was an assertive, proactive pasifist.
    Eeeeenee, a Jawa engineer. He was the one who had to keep repairing the ship (including the disabled blasters) and keep it functioning. He had the cargo hold filled with spare parts or whatever other odds and ends might be needed to install, swap out, or swap for the parts needed. He also had the cargo hold's ceiling height set to 1.1 meters, which kept the party and most everyone else out of his treasure trove of parts and junk.
    Aahrdvaac, a RiDar thief. He would rob others of credits or valuables (strictly via pick-pocketing, since anything confruntational was scary and would make him fly away screaming about tree sloths) in order to help his partner, Eeeenee repair the ship.

    This trio kept bickering and drove the party nuts. Actually, the RiDar pickpocket became a favored NPC. Really, everyone hated Neei-to and the ship. After that, someone was willing to own a ship, just to keep me from using my imagination to screw the party that way.
  13. MercenaryAce Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2005
    star 5
    All of these take place in the World of Warcraft Table top RPG:

    1) Super zombie: one zombie nearly doubled the length of an otherwise short battle by doging an insane amount of attacks in row.

    2) Another zombie was grappling with our warlock. Our Paladin throws a hammer to rescue the Warlock, but misses the sombie and critical hits said warlock, nearly killing him in one attack.

    3) A group of escaped prisoners fortified a mess hall. Being severiled outnumbered, we had the Druid use sommon nature's ally to call forth a monkey. He sucessfully destracted the entire room while we rolled in a lit barrel of gunpowder. Killed everyone, including said monkey.
  14. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    "...Um, how much damage does an angry flaming monkey do?"
  15. dizfactor Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2002
    star 5
    In my game tonight, the players show up in this frontier town on this Outer Rim planet to negotiate with this pirate crew they've been having trouble with. When I first start describing the town square they're walking into, the music we have on changes all of a sudden to this Western sort of thing, like that whistling kind of sound they always play in Westerns before the big gunfight?

    Anyway, the pirates show up, with the pirate leader in the front with a blaster rifle draped over his shoulder, and then all these other thugs climbing out of speeders, heavily-armed, swaggering, looking like a bunch of total hardasses. All in all, the pirate leader steps up to the PCs group of four with fifteen henchmen behind him.

    One of the PCs who's playing a soldier leans over to the Jedi and whispers "I got the three on the left. You take the twelve other guys."
  16. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    I believe that's "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly".
  17. Rogue_Thunder FanForce CR, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2003
    star 6
    LMAO [face_laugh] That's classic. Had you guys been watching Serenity?
  18. Saora_Bin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2005
    star 4
    Playing my Rodian Scoundrel, when all of a sudden the DM tells the other players to go watch TV, because I'm going solo at the moment, and for me to make a fortitude save, which I failed miserably. Confused, we all agreed and continued. I spent the next hour and a half fighting off three Dark Lords of the Sith, barely escaping with my life.

    From nowhere, the DM tells me to make a fortitude save.

    I passed out from exhaustion. I woke up and noticed all of my companions, a Wookie Scout, a Wookie Fighter, and our brand spanking new Human Force Adept. Realizing what had happened, I dropped to my knees and yelled out the name of the one I knew was behind this.

    [image=http://webplaza.pt.lu/poisti/TWOK_5-16.jpg] THRRRRRAAAAAAAAAWN!

    :p
  19. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    A friend and I were playing out a lossly-ruled, home-brewed horror themed rpg (in practice it's more storytelling than anything else). Players make five characters, one of whom is granted "protection". Meaning He/She cannot be killed without putting up a fight, unless they do something incredibly stupid.

    SO, one of my characters, the one with protection, is a professional undead-hunter. He's investigating a house that, so far, has had:

    1) Giant Lizard-things,
    2) A bathroom-o'-many-colors,
    3) A screaming and weeping ghost that claws at the windows and dices ANYTHING outside the house at midnight,
    4) Voices,
    5) Something bound in chains shambling around underground,
    6) Packs of crazed wolves,
    7) Unidentified creatures punching through the roof when provoked.

    So, he discovers a book out of place in the library and decides to set it upright, causing a sound from the kitchen. He goes, and notices that the oven appears to now open into a secret passage, with a faint red glow down the tunnel, off to the right. He, naturally, lights a flashlight and starts in and...

    BAM! A lizard statue comes crashing out of it, inches away from his face.

    For the rest of the game, we couldn't stop making jokes about lizard statues coming out of places such as: Books, doors, closets, pants, other lizard statues, giant lizard mouths, etc. and it has wormed it's way into every game as a joke.
  20. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    This one's funnier, I promise.

    It's an rpg based on the old arcade game "Carnevil" tm, and we've escaped from a hedgemaze filled with chainsaw-weilding demons, when a voice over the park intercom informs us that the park is sort of a gameshow for demonic enjoyment. It also informs us that if we wish to survive, we have to go through all of the warped rides.

    My character, upon hearing this turns to everyone else and proclaims:

    "Well, the voices say to play, so let's go on that Terror Mountain roller coaster. It sounds harmless enough."

    Dirk (My character) also, right before a ride begins asks an undead abomination missing half it's face whether or not he can get nachos while he's on the ride.
  21. dizfactor Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2002
    star 5
    Quotes from tonight's session:

    "Yeah, he won the Silver Medal for Social Climbing through Polite Assassination at the Sith Friendship Games"

    "We should consider retreating."
    "Well, I've considered it, and I've decided it's a really ******* good idea. Run!"
  22. Nktalloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2005
    star 1
    You get bonus points for using the phrase Sith Friendship Games.
  23. DarthBobbalot Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2002
    star 5
    I just got back from a dnd session where we got our asses almost handed to us while fighting some skeletons in one part, we were down one man but that ended up as us getting more exp. Anyway. After we had taken that encounter and opened the next door, the man we were missing shows and so now we have a full party. After we opened the door, more skeletons. These guys were much much simpler than the other ones, rarely getting a hit on me and when they did it was for small damage ammounts, but there were many many more of them. So we all did our thing, i have an Amazon Samurai character which i immediately leapt over the dwarf into the middle of the foray and started pwning, seriously. The friend which came late? Just annoyed the DM as much as possible by deciding to summon 6 Celestial Monkies and 3 Celestial Badgers. All it did was take up time for him casting the spells and adding canon fodder, which admitedly, did work out well with them taking on 2 enemies so we didnt have to. Since my bard was doing little if any damage or anything, i decided to cast Unseen Servant and scoop up mister monkey. So we had monkies throwing their poop all over the place, while overhead there was a floating monkey dropping it on the skeletons, which when the monkey happened to roll a 1, he missed and hit our tank in the face with some poo, blinding him for 2 rounds. "Do these monkies give us any exp if we kill them?" "No, they dont" "I'm killin em anyway." And monkies became priority number one, skeletons didnt matter anymore... Celestial poo ftw.
  24. JediMaster_Waldo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2006
    star 2
    I actually I played for the first time today...anyway we got in a big fight in a cantina and everyone died accept our characters and the bass in the band who kept on playing even though the rest of the band was dead. Also my friend told me one time he did a bust a move check once and his character failed and fell down.
  25. KudosDas Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2005
    star 2
    So we just started a game where we have a Human Noble who wants to be a famous holonet personality, a Bothan Soldier with a crapped out swoop, a Feerion Scoundrel who owns a J-9 labor droid named Frank and a Wookiee Force Adept who hates Jedi and just about everyone else in the universe, the other three members of the party included.

    The game starts off with the four heroes in a turbolift minding their own business when a Jedi drops onto the lift, cuts a hole through the roof, drops in, stops the lift, and dashes out into a fire fight taking place in the middle of a bazzar. This particular Jedi has the nerve to tell the Wookie, of course, to keep his head down and stay in cover. The Wookie doesn't like this so goes out with his sling and sits behind the Jedi shooting rocks at people while the Jedi tries to deflect all the blaster bolts comming his way. Because of all the weapons fire the turbolift locks down, blastdoors come down around the bazzar (which is in a spaceport) essentially trapping the heroes with no where to run. To make matters worse, since the Jedi popped out of the same turbolift the pirates, who are fighting a bounty hunter named Ace who is trying to collect a bounty on the pirates leader, the pirates assume that the heroes are with the Jedi, the heroes having pulled out their weapons when the Jedi was cutting a hole into their turbo lift.

    During the ensuring battle the following occurs:

    1) The first thing our Noble does is pull out his recording rod and procced to record the first five rounds of the battle,
    2) The Bothan Soldier runs down a wounded pirate with a fruit cart,
    3) The Wookie gets a nat crit with his sling taking down another pirate after dealing 1 damage (the pirate failed a Fort SV of 6)
    4) The Jedi misses with a roll of 1, slicing through the support of a sign (the other support had been accidently shot out the round before by our Bothan Soldier) which causes it to almost fall onto himself and the Wookiee,
    5) The Jedi continues to tell the wookie to stay out of the way,
    6) The Wookiee takes a blaster bolt point blank to the chest thanks to the Jedi's inability to hit anything,
    7) The Jedi takes a stun bolt in the back while attempting to disarm another pirate,
    8) The Bothan Soldier takes a blaster bolt to the crotch while standing over the pirate leader who has just come to after being stunned two rounds.
    9) The pirate leader escapes by rolling into a ventilation shaft.

    After the battle the Jedi wakes up, thanks the party and the Bounty Hunter for their help, then dashes off once he explains to the security forces (who show up at this point) that he took down the pirates with a small amount of help from the party. The party of course took down every single pirate.

    Our soldier in need of some serious bacta treatment (the party having been locked out of the lower levels where the pirate leader has escaped to by the security forces), the party decides to visit a private medical clinic to A) Heal the Soldier and B) To find a console the Feerion Scoundrel can hack into in order to give the heroes a way to get down to Bounty Hunter's ship whom they've agreed to help for a share of the bounty. So our Soldier goes in and hops into the bacta tank. Five minutes later our Noble, whose last name is Gold, runs into the clinic screaming that a crazed Wookiee is trying to kill him. Our Wookiee comes in, picks up the protocol driod manning the recption desk, and proceedes to chase the Noble around with the droid, who is screaming at the top of its vocabulator, just outside the clinic with the Bounty Hunter and Scoundrel hack into the mainframe.

    On a final note, while heading down to the Bounty Hunter's ship, our Scoundrel steals a chronometer off some random guy's wrist, pawns it off on a pretty young human women selling comlinks, then buys the Soldier a new pair of pants which happen to be bright purple with yellow stripes running down the side.

    I won't mention the things our Wookiee has said he'll do should the party run into the bumbling Jedi again which of course will ha
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