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[AFD 2008] how do i get people to stop reading my storys

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by poor yorick, Mar 30, 2008.

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  1. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Jun 25, 2002
    i dont want to get anybody mad but i don't really get it

    everytime i post a new fic i get these replys from people i dont even know. when they post they say stuff about the story and good job adn things

    this never happind to me on any other site

    how do i get them to stop?
  2. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 15, 1999
    Welcome to the boards! :D

    I have to say that we are really big on replying to authors around here and I'm not sure what to do about that. A few suggestions:

    [li]Write about characters that nobody recognizes. Readers won't know what to say because they won't know who you're talking about. [/li]
    [li]Write in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. That seems to bother people.[/li]
    [li]Kill your protagonist in the first chapter. You won't have anywhere to go after that and readers will stop responding.
    [li]Don't use NOUNS or VERBS. They're entirely overrated.[/li]

    I hope that helps!

  3. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 5, 2000
    Oh man, I have one I want to say so badly, but probably would get in trouble for.
  4. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 22, 2003
    Hi ophelia!

    This is a problem a lot of people deal with. Some suggestions would be to try running all your paragraphs together. Ideally all your sentences too. You know what, spacesbetweenwordsarentreallynecessaryeither

    Anything you can do to butcher grammar and spelling would be helpful really. Be also sure to be as mean to anyone who tries to read your fic as possible without getting banned by the fascists.

    Best of luck, ophelia. There's some good advice in here that'll have you well on your way. :)
  5. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 12, 2005

    Definitely good advice about not getting banned by the fascists. I'd take it if I were you. ;)
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    ophelia, you are wel on your way. not capitizing i or the beginings of sentence and making sure you dont check for speelling errors is great. keep on doing thatt and you have it maid!
  7. HyperionRising

    HyperionRising Jedi Youngling star 2

    Sep 15, 2007
    Try writing unpopular pairings, unnecessary OCs (also Mary Sues), posting on the wrong board, starting stupid threads on the resource board, whining, and proclaiming the awesomeness of your story in the thread title.
  8. ShrunkenJedi

    ShrunkenJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Apr 26, 2003
    [face_thinking] I suggest creating a sock, and continue posting your stories in the same thread as 'unauthorized fanfic of the fanfic' with a completely different style...
  9. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Aug 7, 2002
    Lots of "ums" and "then, like" type words.
  10. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    i fnd tht if u typ lyk ur txtg, tht is gr8 2. u no?
  11. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    I have plenty of experience with this and these are all true suggestions from either my stories or reading, ahem, certain people's works: :)

    1. Write about the death sentence. All your Eastern European readers will either flee for their lives or stick around the thread to argue with you, not read the story.
    2. Write a perky character named Op Helia. Make her look like you. Make her go from ________'s unnaturally hot apprentice to ___________'s unnaturally hot wife within one post. Continue until the toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.
    3. Write a long post with a weird cliffhanger. Within ten minutes, lock the thread and say it's because not enough people read your stuff.
    4. Write a one-shot story that is three paragraphs long and contains no punctuation.
    5. Write about the war in Iraq as it would happen in the GFFA. Every military officer or military mom on the boards will despise you.
    6. Kill Padme. No joke. I did this once and had five people boycott the story.
  12. jedi_of_ennth

    jedi_of_ennth Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 1, 2005
    The judicial (and by "judicial", I of course mean "completely arbitrary") use of parenthetical author's notes throughout a story is quite effective in throwing readers off the fanfic bandwagon. Just fyi.
  13. Robimus

    Robimus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jul 6, 2007
    Actually I think the fact the links are missing for the "story" boards seem to be missing is a good start. This is why the Empire Banned April Fool's Day:p.
  14. TNPredsFan

    TNPredsFan Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 10, 2004
    Omit all punctuation including quotation marks They are useless and detract from the story you are trying to tell
  15. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    I find writing a story up to the point of crisis and then leaving my readers hanging for 4-5 years always works for me. Of course then you have to deal with the threatening PM's. *sigh*
  16. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Write chapter 1 of a story and then wait 2 years to write chapter 2.
  17. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Jade Pilot's been spying on me!!!! [face_laugh] That's the only thing that'll get me to stop. I bump and up and send PM's at least twice, then even I give up. [face_laugh] And when it's a Luke/Mara story, whoo!! It's either at the point of crisis or the point of mush, which leaves me all kinds of frustrated. Except it doesn't have to be four to five years, sometimes four to five weeks is tooooo long. [face_laugh] ;)
  18. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 20, 2002
    Call your readers poopyheads. They'll stop reading - not because you insulted them, but because they're so horrified that someone actually resorted to so silly an insult.

    Make each story post so long that people have no choice but to say "tl, dr."
  19. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    No matter what, turn the conversation around to YOU and YOUR writing. The whole galaxy revolves are you, after all, and don't let them forget it. ;) Talk about yourself, yourself, yourself. No matter what. Talk about your own work even when replying to others' stories. Do this repeatedly. Eventually everyone will get sick of you. [face_whistling]
  20. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Don't update, but leave excuses for the weirdest things for not writing. "I was going to write, but the temperature dropped .5 degrees and I had to go to a therapist to cope my cousin's ex-boyfriend's dog's yoga instructor's comma splices in her Master's thesis. Sorry! I know it's been 9 months!"

    Oh, and my favorite: Update your story once a year in time for the awards eligibility, say you have no time and meanwhile write an epic on another board and hope no one notices.
  21. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 20, 2002
    Post the entire story in 1337-speak.

    Then again, lazy did that once, and I loved it. But I think I was part of a very small minority who actually read the original version. :p
  22. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2003
    Post the entire story in 1337-speak.

    Even better, post it lolcats style!

    "i r in ur fic, makin ur charactrz do stuf" or something along those lines. :p
  23. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Write all dialogue in Valley Girl...oh, wait, that gets me more readers.
  24. Bri_Windstar

    Bri_Windstar Jedi Master star 4

    May 27, 2002
    For me, from a reader standpoint, I find incredible out-of-characterness and an inordinate about of bad writing usually does the trick in turning me away. :p
  25. Robimus

    Robimus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jul 6, 2007
    Oops, their back. Very good, carry on then.:p
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