[AFD 2008] how do i get people to stop reading my storys

BWAAAAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Wait...you aren't talking about ME, are you?

 

Omt vwls...

 

I read that too quickly and thought "Vomit owls?"

 

O Rly? You can do that?

 

It's certainly easier than keeping them down.

 

Write about joiners. Some people really love bughugginess.
Also, make sure to promise that you will update, only to miss the deadline.

Also, make sure to pair up Luke with any female who is not Mara. As well as try to pair up Han with Bria Tharen.

 

No Wai!

 

So did I!

 

Aboove a;; make sur yuo dont proffread your woek becase who need's a beta anwyay!!!!!111!!!!

 

Write a really hot romance and find your story was mod-edited and removed from the boards, along with a 24 hour suspension. No one can read what's not there (thanks, no thanks to VaderLVR64, I now have personal experience with this )...of course, why then am I posting here now...

 

Never thank your readers and never read anyone else's work or post comments full of generous praise. I mean, who has time???

 

Post a thirty page story all at once. No one will touch it.

 

Without paragraph breaks.

 

Write about a Mary Sue, and put that in the tile of your thread. Then have every male in the SW universe fall in love with her. That's a sure way to lose readers, and FAST!

 

Shavit! Then I should be good...

 

Try writing it in Klingon and add appendixes for Klingon tech terms

 

I was liek wat? But ya rly.

 

Here's a way. Take a hugely beloved character from Star Wars and write them way out of character and then kill them off - wait... sorry, that's already been done.

THE ALL CAPS ARE A GOOD IDEA. BuT tHeN yOu CaN cApItAlIzE eVeRy OtHeR lEtTeR tOo.

That would get annoying quick!

 

Post under the name "Qui-Gon Tim". No one will ever read it.

Then don't write anything else for 6 years.

Then show back up in an April Fool's Day thread.

That'll teach 'em to read your fic!


Or, write a Star Wars story, but all the main characters are from VeggieTales and Scooby-Doo...

... and make sure to point out that it is in no way a "cross-over".

 

OMG, curse you.
*tries to ward of bunny with a stick*

On topic:

youcanalsowritelikethis.ofcoursetoreallygeteverybodyoutyoumightaswellleaveoutallinterpunctuationevenifit
wastheonlythingslightlystructuringthischsosofletters.nobodywillbotherwithmorethanalineofthatkindawriting.
Really.
oristhereanybodystillwithme?
see,provingmypointexactly.



EDIT: Sorry.
But, actually, having the readers sidescrolling without end might keep them out as well.

 

Scrolling..........hmmmmmmm. Interesting.

Most of the time I don't get much scrolling. What causes it? Sentences.that.are.so.long.that.the.page.
has.be.wider.to.acccommodate.them????????
??????????????????????????????


Inconveniently long spacers?

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EDIT: OK, I broke those nasty long lines up with spaces. Yes, they cause serious scrolling.

 

I wish I could swap places with you. Many do actually. You've been blessed with the gift of attracting readers. If you want people to stop reading......just.......I don't know. I haven't been in your position. But I guess you could always not follow the show not tell rule. That will drop your popularity quicker than a frog can suck down a fly.

 

Actually, I think that was sarcasm on her part. I seem to remember her winning Most Underrated...

 

Huh? Oh...darn. I got to learn what is real and what is sarcasm . Sheesh. This is like the sixth time this has happened with me.