"Against All Odds" (K/J) * Completed 12/19/02* --- **18 New Posts on pgs 18 & 19**

Oh wow...

JAG???? Him??? Oh brother...

 

You know what this is. I don't have to explain.

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A few hours later, Jag put his hand on Kyp's shoulder. The colonel was pale, and a little shaky, his left arm bandaged. "Kyp, a moment?"

Kyp looked at him with bloodshot eyes. "Yeah?"

"Let's go for a drink. I really need one right now."

Kyp reluctantly stood and followed Jag out of the infirmary. They found a table in the same makeshift bar where they'd had the bad Corellian whisky. The Jedi Master didn't think it was a good idea for Jag to drink when he'd just donated as much blood as he had, but didn't say anything.

Jag slumped wearily into his chair and leaned his elbows on the edge of the table, looking at his drink for several moments in silence before he spoke. "You know I still love Jaina. Losing her to you hurt. Even before I left, because I could sense it coming. I'll admit I tried a few times to get you to back away. But I know Jaina loves you. She loves you more than she ever loved me. I don't like to admit that."

Kyp rolled his glass between his hands, spinning it on the surface of the table.

"Coming back and finding you about to marry Jaina was quite a shock. I expected it, someday, maybe, but not that quickly. I thought maybe . . . she would have waited for me. I knew deep down that she probably wouldn't, that she'd be very hurt. I just . . ." Jag took a swallow, then looked at Kyp. "When I saw the two of you together, though, I knew that was what was supposed to be. As much as I hated it. I've never seen Jaina as happy as she is with you."

"Thank you," Kyp said roughly. "For what you did."

"Yeah, well," Jag muttered, sounding very Corellian in that moment. "I want her to continue to be happy, and that means she has to live. Because she can't be happy if she's dead. And I'd rather have her with you than dead."

They sat in silence for several moments, then Jag said, "I heard you lost a child. You have my condolences."

Kyp took several minutes to respond. It took him that long to get the gut-wrenching impulse to cry to go away. "We were going to have a boy," he said. His voice was hoarse, strained with the effort to keep from wailing. "We were so excited."

"What were you planning on naming him?" Jag asked, though he felt he already knew.

"Anakin," Kyp murmured. "After her brother."

The younger man nodded, having expected that answer. "I never met Anakin. But Jaina told me about him."

"Maybe she wouldn't have lost the baby if we hadn't named him Anakin," Kyp said suddenly. "It seems that all Anakins are cursed."

"I'll agree to that," a voice said, behind Kyp.

He looked up to see his father-in-law standing there, looking drawn and haggard, as if he hadn't slept in the last forty-eight hours. Kyp supposed he must not look much better himself, because he literally hadn't slept in at least that long.

Han Solo dropped into the third chair at the table and started to order the Corellian whisky. The younger men said in unison, "Don't!"

"Trust us," Kyp said. "Go for something else. Actually, here. I haven't touched mine."

Han accepted the glass Kyp slid across the table to him. He downed it in one long gulp, then set the glass down with a bang. "Kliffing Vong," he muttered. "Do nothing but take my family away from me."

Now a part of said family, Kyp nodded.

"How are you holding up, kid?" Han asked.

"I'm . . . still breathing. Though even that's hard to do," his son-in-law answered honestly.

"I know the feeling exactly," Han said. Then he turned to Jag. "Cilghal told me you just saved my daughter."

"I just did my part," he replied, sipping at his brandy. "Besides, Jaina and Kyp saved me at Borleias. It's the least I could do."

Han leaned over and slapped Jag's shoulder. "Well, kid, consider yourself an honourary son. Soon as Leia finds out, she'll be showering you with praise."

Jag looked embarrassed. Kyp used that as his cue to exit and slid back his chair.

"I'm just going to head back, see how J

 

This was sad!!! Very, very sad!

 

It gets sadder.

Dana

 

oh dear

 

This is the sadder I'm talking about.

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He found Cilghal in the infirmary, checking up on Jaina, once again.

"Oh, Kyp. I wanted to talk to you," she said, in a subdued voice.

He instantly froze. "You've got bad news, don't you?"

After a moment, the Mon Calamarian nodded.

He fought the urge to scream. Steeling himself, he asked, "She's still dying, isn't she?"

"No. When Jaina wakes up, which is highly likely to be soon, she'll be just fine, physically," Cilghal said, surprising him. "I'm already seeing signs of immense improvement. She just needs to recover enough to wake. No, it's something else."

"What?"

"I think you'd better sit down, Kyp." Then she glanced at Jaina, and said, "Actually, let's go into my office."

Once Kyp was sitting in the only other chair in the small room off the infirmary that served as the healer's office, Cilghal said, "I'm very sorry to tell you this. I know the two of you wanted children."

"I know about the miscarriage," he said. "I felt my son die. You don't have to tell me that."

She shook her huge head, eyes blinking slowly. "I know you know. That's not what I'm telling you. Jaina will recover, I've stopped the bleeding. But . . ."

Cilghal sighed heavily, then said, "Due to the nature of the trauma, there is a very high chance that Jaina will never again be able to conceive. Going from that, I would say that in all likelihood, you will never have children."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes."

Kyp stared at her in shock, then dropped his head into his hands. "I'm not hearing this. This isn't happening."

She rested a flipper on his shoulder, sympathetically. "I'm sorry, my friend."

He shook her off and stood up. Without a word, he spun on his heel and left her office. Kyp paused briefly to kiss Jaina's forehead, then headed back to the bar.

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Dana

 

more.

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Jag and Han looked up when Kyp sat down at the table and ordered a drink. No one spoke until Kyp had finished his second glass.

"What happened?" Han asked.

Kyp shook his head. "Can't. Don't ask."

"Is Jaina going to be okay?" Jag inquired.

"Oh, she'll be fine. Mostly." Kyp's voice broke, then he shook his head. "Cilghal thinks she'll wake up soon."

"So why are you upset?"

Kyp fixed Han with a pained, pleading gaze, and his father-in-law fell silent.

They spent the rest of the evening watching Kyp get drunk.

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Leia Organa Solo found Kyp in the lounge of the Second Chance, reclining with his feet up on the dejarik table. He had a half-empty bottle of something alcoholic hanging loosely in his hand and was staring blankly at the opposite wall. She'd come searching for him, at the insistence of her husband.

She almost thought he didn't notice her, but then he asked, "You ever wonder what things would have been like if you'd never had the chance to have kids?"

Dark eyes cautious, Leia ventured, "Once or twice. I didn't like the thought."

Kyp took a swig, then said, "I don't like the thought, either."

She approached him, then slowly sat down. "Are you alright? I can tell something's bothering you."

He swung his legs down and sat up. Almost wistfully, he asked, "What's it like to have children?"

"It's . . . Well, I guess it's a lot like having an apprentice. You're responsible for their welfare and education, except that person is part of you, something you created." Leia thought back to the first time she'd held Jaina in her arms. "You look down at this tiny person, and your whole life changes. It's not about you anymore. Everything you'll do from then on is for this little being that you created, this child that . . . This child that is completely dependent on you, because it's helpless. You have to protect the child with your life, because it's defenseless. Everything you do impacts them. It's a terrifying thought.

"After that, when they start to grow, you marvel at how they develop, into their own individual. They get personalities, and you start to see them as another person, only one that wouldn't exist without you. And as they get older, they start leaving you, growing up, moving on, finding who they are."

She looked over and noticed Kyp had tears trailing down his face. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Cilghal just told me that Jaina won't be able to get pregnant ever again, and I have no idea how to tell my wife. We haven't just lost a baby, we've lost the ability to have more. Everyone's been saying, oh, you'll have another one. But there won't be another one." His voice failed him, but he kept talking. "Three months ago, I didn't think about having children, about being a father. We'd only been married two weeks. And then Jaina got pregnant. I started looking forward to it, so much. Having a family, being a father, knowing this child that Jaina and I made. And now I'll never know. I'll never know."

Leia leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. He broke down, shoulders shaking. She didn't speak words of comfort, because she didn't know what to say.

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Dana

 

IMO, the saddest post of them all in this story.

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Two days later, Jaina opened her eyes. Kyp had moved her from the infirmary to their quarters, and kept a mostly silent vigil beside her.

She felt strangely empty when she woke. There was something wrong, but she didn't know what it was.

Glancing to Kyp, she smiled. He was bruised and battered, asleep on the bed beside her. Jaina smoothed a black curl from his brow. She was happy to see they'd succeeded in getting him out.

He woke, and gazed at her with bloodshot eyes. One green iris was surrounded by red almost completely, the result of some damage in the eye or surrounding tissue. She wanted to kill whoever had done it.

"You're awake," he said.

"And you're alive."

Kyp sat up and pulled her into his arms, holding her fiercely, until she could scarcely breathe.

"Kyp," she croaked. "Can't breathe."

He let her go instantly. "I'm sorry. I . . ."

For the first time, Jaina noticed the tears in his eyes. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Do you remember anything on Cantona?" he asked quietly.

"I . . ." Jaina frowned. Her mind was mostly blank. "I remember that, um . . . We went to get you. And . . . I fought a voxyn. After that, I don't remember. Why? Did something happen to Uncle Luke? Or Zekk?"

Kyp caught her hand. His chin was trembling. "No, sweetheart, they're okay. You mean, you don't remember getting hit by the thud bug?"

She shook her head.

He placed her hand low on her belly. "It hit you here," he said softly, his voice cracking. "I felt it."

Suddenly, it was as if a chasm had opened beneath her and she were falling. She couldn't draw breath; her lungs couldn't cooperate. Her heart pounded in her chest, as if trying to escape.

"No," she heard her voice say. "No. No, no, no, no. No, Kyp, no."

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to tell you this way."

"Nooooooooooooooo!" she screamed into his shoulder. "No!"

"I'm sorry, Jaya. I'm sorry. I'm sorry . . ."

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Dana

 

Wow... MEANIE... this is definitely some twitch

Uncharted territory...


MORE???

 

still more.

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Wedge gave Jaina some much-needed leave, and Kyp took her to Mon Calamari. She was quiet, and prone to abrupt explosions of rage or tears. But the outbursts got fewer and farther between.

By the end of the first month, Jaina could sleep a full night without waking up screaming. Kyp treated her like Vortex glass, doing everything he could to make her smile, ignoring his own pain.

Jaina spent hours upon hours in silence, working on the Second Chance in the hangar on Mon Cal, where it sat next to his X-wing. Kyp didn't bother her when she worked, because he knew that, like her father, it was her way of dealing with things.

Something extremely disturbing, however, was that she had figured out how to shut off the link between them. Kyp didn't like it, but wasn't sure how to get her to open up again.

Her parents joined them on Mon Calamari after a few weeks, and Han helped his daughter with her ship.

One afternoon, while father and daughter worked, and Kyp watched, Leia came to stand beside her son-in-law.

"I understand her," the older woman said quiet. "Her need to busy herself. It's the only way to put a cover over the hole."

"Anakin?" Kyp asked quietly.

"Anakin, yes," Leia murmured. "And Jacen. Han, after Chewie died. And in a way, Jaina herself. Also . . ."

She looked up at him. "Han and I never told anyone, but . . . we were going to have a child after Anakin. I was about six weeks pregnant when I miscarried. Luke never even knew. That was about the time Callista left him. We didn't think it was a good idea to tell him."

"Why are you telling me?" Kyp asked.

Leia linked her arm through his. "She'll heal, in time. I did. I'm still healing from losing Anakin, and now from my grandchild, but I know that the pain will pass. It always does."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

She nodded. "Now, tell me, what made you give up the drinking?"

"A talk from Han," he said, with a humourless laugh. "He said that if I left Jaina and went around in a drunken stupor like he did after Chewie died, he'd beat the Force out of me."

"And you believe him?"

"Well, yeah. I know Han."

Leia stood on her toes and kissed his cheek suddenly. He looked at her in surprise.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"I never really approved of you before," she said. "I do now."

He watched her walk away, feeling a little better than before.

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Dana

 

Just a few more posts left on this.

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"When were you planning on telling me?" Jaina asked from the doorway.

Kyp glanced up in surprise. "Tell you what?"

"What Cilghal told you after I- when I was sick."

Guilt filled him. He hadn't known how to tell her, so he'd just pretended like he didn't know. Nearly four months had passed, and he hadn't told her.

Kyp looked away. Jaina slowly walked over. "Kyp, look at me."

Green eyes cautiously looked up.

"Why didn't you tell me that I can't- that I can't conceive again?"

"She never said you couldn't. She said you might not be able to." It sounded weak even to himself. "There's a difference."

"Still, you should have told me, Kyp. I'm your wife. You shouldn't keep information like that from me."

He didn't like how flat and emotionless her voice was. "I didn't know what to say," he whispered hoarsely. "I couldn't figure out how to tell you. I didn't want to add to it."

"You wanted to pretend so we wouldn't have to deal with it until I wanted to try again."

"No, not at all. I've been wracking my brain for months, trying to find the words."

Jaina sighed and looked away. "Well, it doesn't matter now, I guess."

Kyp stood up and pulled her against him. "Sweetheart, believe me. I didn't want to hurt you any more. I didn't want you to suffer any more than you needed to."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "I know."

He tipped her head up and kissed her. "Jaina, make love with me."

"I . . . I don't know."

"Please?" he whispered.

Jaina closed her eyes, then nodded.

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Dana

 

This Leia Kyp thing is kinda weird, but nice!

 

More.

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Three days later, he woke at dawn to an empty bed. It was disturbing because Jaina never left the bed before he was awake, unless she had to use the refresher.

"Jaina?" he called.

There was no response. He slid out of bed and padded to the 'fresher, but she wasn't there.

Then he noticed that her clothes were not in the closet, and her side of the dresser had been cleared out. The only thing he found was the red dress, draped across a chair in the living room.

A datapad sat on the rich scarlet material. With trembling hands, he picked it up.

Kyp,

I'm sorry it has to be this way. Believe me, this is the last thing I wanted to ever do. But I have to. You need someone whole, who can give you children. I can't do that.

On this datapad are the necessary documents for a divorce. I've given my authorisation in the necessary places. I'll understand if you want to file them.

Find someone else, someone who isn't damaged, and marry her. Please.

I love you.

J.

When Kyp finally found his voice, the words he chose would have made a Hutt blush.

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Dana

 

Only one more after this. Seriously.

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When he got to the hangar, he found the Second Chance gone. His X-wing sat untouched in its place. After this discovery, he sat down for a while, and thought out what he was going to do.

The first thing Kyp did was destroy the datapad. He erased the divorce documents, then quite thoroughly smashed the device into thousands of tiny pieces with the pommel of his lightsaber.

After that, he contacted Han and Leia, and told them what was going on. They offered to help, but he just told them to keep an eye out for Jaina, and contact him immediately if she came back.

The military had no idea where she was. Wedge offered his services, but Kyp simply told him the same thing he'd told the Solos. Jagged Fel likewise had no idea where Jaina was. Kyp advised him to keep watch.

He then set out in his X-wing, determined to search every planet in the galaxy if he had to, for as long as it took.

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Dana

 

Is it starting to look up, or should I brace myself?

 

Just when I thought...

Oh well! What happens next????

 

Last one. It's a happy ending.

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Six months later

He found her sitting at an outdoor tapcaf, reading a datapad and talking to, of all people, Jacen Solo. She'd bleached her dark locks to a white-blonde, then dyed purple, green, and black streaks into it.

Kyp wasn't even remotely surprised to see Jacen. Nor was he shocked or surprised by Jaina's appearance. He would have known her anywhere, no matter what she looked like.

The pair didn't notice him until he walked right up and said, "Nice try. But you can't get rid of me that easily, Major Durron."

Jaina spun around, dropping the datapad, her eyes going wide. She wore contacts that turned her brandy eyes to a brilliant amethyst. "Kyp!"

"You still remember me. I'm amazed." Kyp glanced at Jacen. "Hello, Jacen. By the way, your mother is looking for you."

He turned back to Jaina. "Now, sweetheart, what, exactly, are you doing here?"

"Giving you your freedom," she replied.

"Did ever occur to you, Jay, that I didn't want to be 'free'?"

Her eyes started watering. "Kyp. Don't do this. I left so you could move on."

Kyp, exasperated, tired, and annoyed after six months of search, grabbed her and stood her up. "I don't want anyone but you, Jaina Durron. I don't care what you seem to think is wrong with you. You could be missing your head for all I care."

He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her roughly against him. She gasped, but had to admit it thrilled her more than a little. "I LOVE YOU. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. Got it? Or do I have to throw you over my shoulder and haul you off? Drag you away by your hair? Because I will do it."

"I think you'd better listen to him, Jaina, he does look willing to drag you off," Jacen said mildly. "This is all very new and interesting to me. I didn't have any idea the two of you are married. When did that happen?"

"Thirteen months, two weeks, four days, and eighteen hours ago," Kyp supplied.

"I didn't tell you because we were supposed to have been divorced six months ago," Jaina said, turning her head as far as Kyp would allow her.

"Never gonna happen, Jaina," Kyp said, forcing her to turn back to him. "I said 'til death, and I mean it. Longer, if I can work it."

Then he kissed her.

For someone who'd claimed to want out, she succumbed rather quickly. Jaina was ashamed that the instant he kissed her, she kissed him back. Actually, she was close to tears with joy because he wanted her. He didn't care about anything that had happened before, he still wanted her. The loss of the baby still hurt, but the gulf didn't seem to wide, nor so deep, as before. If he wanted her still, in spite of that, maybe it didn't matter.

Kyp's grip on her relaxed and he wrapped both of his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. He took two steps and sank down on the chair she'd been occupying, with his wife on his lap.

After approximately three minutes of watching his sister and brother-in-law attempt to inhale each other, Jacen cleared his throat. They ignored him.

"Guys. Hellooooo? Oh, for crying out loud!" Jacen scoffed and got to his feet. "Get a room, would you?"

As they continued, oblivious, Jacen went to the bar and got himself a drink and some chorith sticks. He obviously had a long afternoon of being ignored ahead of him.

Jaina sighed contentedly as she drew away from Kyp. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I understand. Just don't do it again, huh?"

"Never."

"Good." Kyp kissed her again.

"You know, Kyp we should stop on Hapes on our way back. I know a certain Queen Mother who'd be delighted to know Jacen's alive . . ."

"You know, Jaina, I think you're right."

"Um, guys? What are you talking about? Guys? You aren't going to set me up with someone, are you? You are, aren't you? Oh, Sith."

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end

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LOL, yay!!! Happy endings! I like that!!! Cool

Guys. Hellooooo? Oh, for crying out loud!" Jacen scoffed and got to his feet. "Get a room, would you?"



Setting Jacen up.. that would be a good idea!

Great story Dana, and nice ending! Well done!

Now I need sleep!

 

"Um, guys? What are you talking about? Guys? You aren't going to set me up with someone, are you? You are, aren't you? Oh, Sith."

humor within angst. Wonderful story anf awesoem ending Dana!!! Im glad hwo you brought it all together!

 

Fact time for Jacen. Nuff said. Fact. Story is over. Fact. Mixed emotions. Fact. Happy you'll start a new fiction. Fact. Sad this one is ending. Fact. I'm gay. Not fact. NOT FACT!

Chris

 

I'm going to be writing a short sequel (SHORT) so don't worry.

Dana

 

I can't believe its over.... This was a masterpiece Dana. Thanks for sharing it with us.

J_J

 

ohmigod that was great Dan, are you going to do a sequal cause i think you could write a great Jace/Tenal one off this.

i this so much, i can't believe it's finally finished.

 

oh my goodNESS. i knew that you finished it dana but i didn't know that you were going to post it all at once! holy cow, i cried, i laughed, and i wanted to give Jag one BIG hug.

Jez

 

moves away from Jez. ARE YOU CRAZY HUGGING JAG!! you'll get the cardboard diasease if you touch that thing *unless it's in the process of killing him*