Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ROGUE_49, Mar 15, 2003.
Here is a quick UP! for you two. Post this weekend maybe?? [face_plead]
Yay! Page 3! And definetly a post this weekend. I think its about time you all found out what Anakin's been up to...
Hmmm... How should we do this with choir tour em? one before we go or three before we go? cause we can't just do the first two cause that third one is like the same scene different perspective.....see my point? It'd be at least a space of five days... What ya think.
It might decide if I post tonight or not..
YA! POST THIS WEEKEND! I'M HAPPY!
I think that you guys should be getting as many as three posts before Wednesday. Emily and I are leaving for New York on choir tour Wednesday morning and the three posts coming up need to be close together.
So tonight, probably Sunday, and then Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.
OK- What has Ani been up to you all have been wondering?.........
Anakin roamed the halls of the Jedi Temple aimlessly, feeling out of place and sufficiently overwhelmed by the sheer size of his new home. But is it really home? he asked himself, staring at the rich carpeting and massive pillars surrounding him. He thought of the small, dusty abode on Tatooine where he had always lived and of the loving mother who still resided there, and he felt a pang of homesickness. A small part of him rebelled against the grandeur of this great Temple. No, this will never be my home, he decided, not without my mother.
?You miss your mother, huh??
Anakin spun around to see a boy about his own age, with unruly red-gold hair, leaning casually against a pillar.
?Don?t worry,? the boy went on, smiling openly, ?I?m sure you?ll feel differently once you get used to Temple life. Things can be really exciting around here sometimes,? he said with a sly grin.
Anakin?s face flushed when he realized the boy had intruded on his thoughts. ?I will never forget my mother, no matter how ?exciting? this place may be,? he said coldly.
The redhead?s smile disappeared. ?I didn?t mean it that way..?
?Well, it sure sounded like it to me,? Anakin stated defensively. ?And who told you you could read my thoughts, anyway?? he challenged.
The boy gave him a flat look. ?You were broadcasting. A four year-old initiate would?ve known what you were thinking!?
?A four year-old initiate would?ve had enough respect to keep his mouth shut and mind his own business!?
Dark emerald eyes flashed in angry response. ?There?s all sorts of stories going around the Temple about you. I bet you think you?re something special for blowing up that Trade Federation ship and ?saving the day.? Well, I say you?re just lucky!?
?You don?t even know me,? Anakin retorted. ?And for you information, I am someone special. I?m the Chosen One!?
Though, Anakin himself didn?t know exactly what that meant, he?d expected this pronouncement to be greeted with awe and respect. Instead, the other boy just threw back his head and laughed.
?Chosen One? You.?? He shook his head, eyes dancing in merriment. ?For your information, there?s no such thing. That?s just a myth. Everyone knows that! Who told you that you were ?the Chosen One? anyways??
?Qui-Gon Jinn,? Anakin stated evenly, positive that the respected Jedi Master?s name would shut this insolent boy up.
The boy shook his head again, still smiling. ?I can?t believe Master Jinn would believe in something like that. Maybe he was a few cards short of a sabacc hand when he said that...?
?Don?t you dare insult Qui-Gon Jinn!? Anakin was seething now, and in an instant had sprung at the boy, fists swinging.
The other initiate moved quickly, ducking under Anakin?s right arm and lashing out with his own foot. He was rewarded with Anakin tumbling to the ground, and he pounced on him.
Rolling left, Anakin narrowly avoided having a knee connect with his stomach. He reached out, grabbed a fistful of red-gold hair, and yanked. Instead of crying out, however, the other boy used the momentum from Anakin?s tug to head-butt the Tatooine boy in the nose. Anakin yelped in pain and lashed out blindly, his right fist finally connecting with his opponents face.
The two untangled themselves, and breaking apart, eyed on another warily while tentatively reaching up to finger their respective injuries. Anakin gently probed his nose, his fingers discovering the sticky wetness of blood. The other initiate sported a bruised face and split lip where Anakin?s fist had hit him.
By the now, the two scuffling boys had attracted quite a crowd. Other initiates were gathered in a circle around them, interested in the fight. One younger boy with a dark complexion piped up, ?Go get ?im, Aidan!? His cry served as an icebreaker for the rest of the onlookers; everyone erupted into cheers, and the two determined boys went at it again.
Anakin dove for Aidan?s knees, tackling him. The two had hardly begun to grapple again when the crowd
Nicely done rogue 49
i wanna say thanks for the info on doing the links , I think I'm finally getting the hang of this stuff .
R49 & H03 - I copied it to word and printed it out to read. I 'l post later, I just wanted you to know I had stopped in.
Giving you a shove to the top as well - looking for more readers!
I'll be back later with comments after I ride my wild horses.
That was very cool! Hey, call me blonde, (no offense to blondes. It's just a phrase I use. Don't mean anything.) but did you name him Aiden for a special purpose? Was it because you thought it would be creative if it sounded like "Hayden Christensen" and Anakin Skywalker" were fighting each other considering that they're both the same person!
Thanks boady- actually Halcyon wrote that post- mine is the next one
. And you're welcome about the help for the links. um... did you figure out the italics and bold- I know you had pm'd me about it and I completley fprgpt to get back to you. It's imply i's in brackets or b's in brackets and the first one comes directly befreo the pharase you want the formatting to and the second one after with a backslash in the brackets before the i or b- just like the link idea. I'll expaln it better if you need me to- just let me know how I can be of service.
TK- cool- we'll look forward to seeing your review- thoguh you'll have to come up with one for tomorrows psot too now! Yes you eyes do not decieve you- post tomorrow.
dp- wait- youwant to be blonde lol? Actually- Aidan's name was not doen on purpose in the way you suggested. we got the name form somewhere else and fel thtat it really fit his character well. You will be seeing more of him....
Thanks for the reviews guys as well as the ups. See you tomorrow.
o. just infering.
lol . well then , well done Halcoyn (actually both of u) . And yeah I figured out how to underline and use bold letters finally . Only took me about an hour . I'm a moron........
Most definatly worth the wait
but alas another cliffie
When will this torture end??
Once again, need you gals any more praise from me?? LOL, AWESOME!!!
And who told you you could read my thoughts, anyway?? he challenged.
Very funny. This is one of those silly childhood squabbles to the most extreme extent. I just can't imagine a simple fist fight going on in the Jedi Temple. It seems like kind of an oxymoron doesn't it?
I love the nickname for Obi-Wan. Sith-killer. It makes him appear really ominous. Another cliff hanger though!! I'll have to straddle my impatience!! LOL
ok- replies before the post
dp- it's a good thing to do
boady- it's ok- it took me a while too Thanks for reading.
Most definatly worth the wait glad you think so. after the next two posts though you'll have to wait a week while were both gone on choir tour. I hate to imagine how long that wait will seem when the time befroe posts befroe was only a few days!
but alas another cliffie It's not so very evil.. trust me- there are worse ones in this story yet to come.
When will this torture end?? [face_thoughtful] I'm not sure/ Emily and I have over half the story already written, but we don't really have a projected finish date yet.... J/K! Never!!!!! Mwhhhhahahahaha!!
Sorry Nick, aka BD- should have let you do that, lol. Well- Once again, need you gals any more praise from me?? what do you think Nicholas? You of all people know how much I love praise . *whisper* and I think Em likes it more than she might let on at times too. heeh! J/K em. The little squabble was very gradeschoolish wasn't it. Though of course I wouldn't know about such petty, childish things... I was very mature when I was young [face_serious]. The sith-killer is a very loaded title. I think it ellicits a hundred different feelings, depending on who the character (or reader) reacting is. It is very onimous sounding, explaioning why the kids are afraid- though Anakin isn't exactly frightened of Obi-Wan- our take shows him fearing the older Jedi yet it's more of a respectful fear or awe I think. The name means something different to him because he knows the man behind the title.
This next post plays with that a little. Obi-Wan really has become a differnet man since Naboo- he's not really certain of what the Force is trying to tell him, he's going through some major inner turmoil, and is being pushed at from all different sides, expected to be a lot of differnet htings- one of them "a sith-killer" among other things (such as Anakin's Master). I wrote this post in an attempt to demonstrate a lot of conflicting emotions within him- expressed in his physical behavior as well as his thoughts.
I hope you all like the portrayal. I'd love your comments, particularly on what you think of Obi-Wan. I personally find there to be a lot of interesting emotion in this post to look at.
Obi-Wan was seething. Hadn?t he just told Yoda he didn?t have time to deal with this kind of thing? Anakin was trouble, and the Knight was determined not let himself get mixed up with the boy. But if no one disciplines him he will not learn how not to be trouble.
He was alone with Anakin in the hall. This is all Yoda?s fault.
Irritated at the Jedi Master?s stubborn words, Obi-Wan had stormed out of the gardens, his cloak flapping wildly in the breeze. Had he bothered to look back, the Knight would have seen Master Yoda pounding the ground with his ancient gimer stick, face full of disapproval.
Obi-Wan had found himself involuntarily pacing the hall leading to the initiate quarters, trying to rid himself of rising frustration. All Yoda seemed to be concerned with at the moment was insisting upon Obi-Wan to take Anakin as his apprentice. The Jedi Master would not be happy until Obi-Wan gave in to his demands.
Obi-Wan didn?t care. The only thing that mattered now was uncovering the Sith before they could ruin the Jedi Order. If the Council was not prepared to act, he would.
Now, casting out to explore the hall with his Force senses, Obi-Wan determined that there was no one to come to his assistance. The Knight chastised himself silently, As if a full grown Jedi Knight shouldn?t be able to handle a little boy. He would settle this first.
His displeasure at the task shown in Obi-Wan?s harsh tone. ?What?s going on here?? he demanded gruffly.
Anakin drew up to his full height, ready to defend himself if necessary. Obi-Wan was instantly amused by this, as he compared his own towering form with that of the small nine year-old. But the moment Anakin opened his mouth, any soft thoughts the Knight might have had for the boy disappeared. ?Nothing, Knight Kenobi,? Anakin stated matter-of-factly. ?I must get back to the dorms now.? He turned quickly to leave.
Obi-Wan?s arm shot out to secure a rough hold on the boy?s arm. ?You?ll leave, Initiate Skywalker, when I dismiss you,? the Knight stated forcefully. ?Now, I believe I asked you a question, and I want a truthful answer.?
Anakin cringed as the pressure of Obi-Wan?s grip increased. ?It wasn?t my fault,? he whimpered.
?I don?t care whose fault it was.? The smooth, cultured accent of his voice did nothing to diminish the severe disapproval in Obi-Wan?s voice. ?Fighting is not allowed in the Temple. It is very unbecoming a Jedi.?
Anakin looked ashamedly down at his feet. ?I?m sorry Obi-Wan,? he said softly.
Obi-Wan released his firm hold on the boy, but continued to reprimand him. ?Must I explain to you the lesson of how important first impressions are?? The Knight crossed his arms inside his cloak in frustration. ?No one will want to train a disobedient Padawan.? Obi-Wan felt guilty enough as it was. Failure in Anakin to secure himself a Master would only compound the failure Obi-Wan already felt of himself. Your apprentice, Skywalker will be. Prove this to you, Anakin will. This thought held a double meaning that Obi-Wan knew contradicted all his previous ones. He would not think on it.
Anakin was whining now. ?I told you! It wasn?t me who started it.?
?Jedi do not whine, Anakin.?
Sufficiently annoyed by the Knight?s condescending tone, Anakin succumbed to his anger. ?Fine!? he practically shouted. ?Aidan-? he practically spat the name.
Returning anger with anger, Obi-Wan opened his mouth. ?Must I repeat myself?? he thundered down on the boy.
Anakin shrunk back. Obi-Wan could sense a twinge of fear in the boy and began to realize what an imposing figure he presented at the moment. That wasn?t exactly a bad thing, Obi-Wan reasoned, but he didn?t want Anakin to be afraid of him. Respectful, yes, but not dreadfully fearful. Master Yoda had warned Anakin of his unnatural fear. The Knight had no desire to add to this already dangerous state. Obi-Wan allowed his arms to fall to his sides and dropped to his knees upon the floor in an effort to project a less menacing image. ?Come here,? he ord
Nice work! i liked it alot
This is all Yoda?s fault.
Excellent line, you don't really think of Yoda as having flaws and stuff or things being his fault hehe
The Knight wanted to laugh as slight concern blossomed into massive alarm on the Anakin?s face
that is nasty! and really funny that he thinks anikin's pain is laughable.
Keep it up guys this is great i luv it!
You of all people know how much I love praise . *whisper* and I think Em likes it more than she might let on at times too. heeh!
Thanks for the feedback, KC! And here's an UP!
OOO-AHH!!! Very, very nice!!!
I love the personality building that goes on between these two. You can read similar things in the movie, but I love the development of the good "young Kenobi". Wow-he is almost as uncontrolled as Anakin in some respects, only on a more reserved level. Obi-Wan is such a rebel! My first reaction would be, "there is no way he is going to train Anakin effectively!" Very foreboding really!
Anakin drew up to his full height, ready to defend himself if necessary. Obi-Wan was instantly amused by this, as he compared his own towering form with that of the small nine year-old.
My mind is whacky! The first thing that pops into my head is a vision of Vader towering over Obi-Wan on the Death Star. Very ironic! Very nice!
Awesome! . I like how their relationship starts off rocky . Makes it easier to see Anny turning dark later on down the road .
Anxiously awaits the next installment....
I know several of you are Corran Horn fans , if you are interested check out The CorSec Files . I'd love to hear some thoughts on it .
OK - read them both.
The fight - a good insight to Anakin's future, already battling with the Jedi his first week there. Better watchout cuz he's gonna kill you all later! I'm the Chosen One
Obi/Ani - Poor Obi trying to not be too intimidating. I could picture him when Ben calls R2 over in Star Wars. "Do not be afraid." Nice post!
Nice touch too about Ani's mind being too suggestible- hmmmm?
My day is complete...
Loving the fact OB wanted to bolt...
BD- My mind is whacky! The first thing that pops into my head is a vision of Vader towering over Obi-Wan on the Death Star. Very ironic!
I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but that is so true. Kind of a role reversal, if ya know what I mean... Funny to think that someday, Anakin won't HAVE to draw himself up to his full height to tower over Obi-Wan.
boady22- I like how their relationship starts off rocky . Makes it easier to see Anny turning dark later on down the road .
Oh, it gets more rocky from here on out... After Ash and I get back from choir tour, I'll have to check out the CorSec Files- cool name for a story, btw
TK- Poor Obi trying to not be too intimidating. I could picture him when Ben calls R2 over in Star Wars. "Do not be afraid."
Interesting picture! I love it when readers come up with a new way of visualizing things- it's very refreshing and makes it entertaining for the author.
My day is complete...
Lol! What a compliment!
Post coming tonight, I believe- the third part of this scene, from a unique perspective...
Just so ya'll know, there will be a post up later tonight...