Ahalik Gorena- a JA fic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Hiroko01, Feb 15, 1999.

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  1. MrsKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 1999
    star 1
    hmmm, criticism? Well, I really liked the way Obi-wan just zoned out, it was funny And the pig thing...was that just to get our attention? It certainly was amusing and random!
    At some points the wording gets confusing and I have to reread lines. Do you type this on word and then copy and paste or do you just create it in the post box? If you don't already, maybe you should read over to make sure lines aren't confusing. That's all I can think of, I'll try and be more specific from now on with responses

    Eirtae Kenobi

    [This message has been edited by MrsKenobi (edited 03-02-2000).]
  2. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    All I can say about the pig thing is that it sounded like a good idea at the time. It'll be edited out when I make the next post.

    Obi-Wan's, um, meditation was inspired by the average day in Spanish class. :razz: That, and I had to do *something* to do with him while Qui-Gon talked, so... Glad you thought it was cool.

    [This message has been edited by Hiroko01 (edited 03-02-2000).]
  3. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Ok, [b/Hirok01[/b]--I've reread and reread the flying pig part.
    First in defense of missing it I really didn't visualize a pig. It was more like one of those Mynocks from Empire Strikes Back. Of course, now that I know it's supppose to be a pig , the description is now obvious.
  4. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Ok, [b/Hirok01[/b]--I've reread and reread the flying pig part.
    First in defense of missing it I really didn't visualize a pig. It was more like one of those Mynocks from Empire Strikes Back. Of course, now that I know it's supppose to be a pig , the description is now obvious.
  5. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    I didn't think it was really odd because weird random things happen in my life, why not in the SW world?
  6. LukeRed5 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 1999
    star 1
    I loved it. I thought it was really cool. It actually made me want Leo Dicaprio to be in the film.

    Where did the creator take the scene with Ewan in a uniform from. What is "Nightwatch"? Thats the only film I know of him in a uniform.

    Well, Leo probably won't be in it, but I think he would have made a good Anakin.

    LR5
  7. Azeem TFN Staff, Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 1999
    star 4
    One of my friends made the SW Episode 2 trailer. He is an editor by trade so he is very good. If noone answers, I'll email him and ask him all the films he used for the trailer.

    Azeem
    TFN Theater
  8. LukeRed5 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 1999
    star 1
  9. Return of the Wattowatta Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 4
  10. Cigam Retah Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 1999
    star 5
    I thought the use of the Starship from "The 5th Element" was kind of blatent, but seeing as Besson was influnced by Star Wars, I assume it's ok.
  11. MrsKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 1999
    star 1
    Hiroko, donde estas? Estas bien? Me encanta esta obra, no quiero que la storia muera!

    Eirtae Kenobi
  12. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    Heh heh heh. Remember how I was getting all doom and gloomy about Solo and Ensemble? It's turning out to be the least of my worries. If you happen to be on ICQ one of the two magical nights of the week that I still have time to get on, you can listen to me kvetch about AP tests and ACTs. eek.gif
  13. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    More, Hiroko, more!!!! *whines uncontrollably for a post*
  14. MrsKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 1999
    star 1
    I'm sorry that you have all those tests to worry about I guess for now I'll just keep on saying UP!

    Eirtae Kenobi
  15. Subject Zero Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2000
    star 2
    I love that part where all the Jedi are wearing skirts!

    LOL

    I wonder if they flash any Sith Lords.

    Hmmm...

    SZ
  16. Jaro Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 1999
    star 1
  17. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    Ever get that feeling that when you type in your usename and password, they'll be rejected 'cause you haven't used them in so long?

    Solo and Ensemble was today; went to State on the woodwind choir and bagged a first on my solo, but no state. Everything else, not sure... Yes, so now that that's over, new project! Hiroko is going to learn the oboe.

    As far as the story goes: not only are there tests to deal with (studying, what's that?) but now little brothers who like to cruise for chicks on bolt.com chatrooms instead of doing homework and make parents do crazy things like disconnect it. mad.gif I am SO sorry, you guys... it's a rotten thing to do to just leave the story here. Someday!
  18. MrsKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 1999
    star 1
  19. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

    Staring at the shadowed monster on my ceiling
    Deeply in thought
    Of what I heard
    Of what I know
    Or have known
    Why does the ravaging scavenger
    Sneak through my ears
    And burrow in my eyes
    Must I care
    I wish I didn?t
    Had I not a care
    That man on the ceiling'd not be there
    Here in my head
    Deep in my guts
    Tell me true
    Why do I see you
    Can?t I just push it away
    Swallow the key
    Be without
    I shouldn?t need it
    But traces always overflow the top
    I feel the bell could end this episode
    But perhaps I only wish it
    But now with my dripping stranger
    Must let me be
    Can?t think anymore
    Don?t let me


    They returned to their quarters to find Akretiry there, seated on the corner of Obi-Wan?s bed. Her arms folded tightly under her bosom and the look on her face was so unlike her: a grimness had settled into her expression somewhere deeper than her skin, into the muscle and bone of her face. Perhaps that was how it could look so incongruous on her and so natural at the same time.

    Of what I know
    Or have known

    ?How is she?? Qui-Gon inquired gently once the bedroom?s door had sealed.

    A little beyond, her shoulders nearly touching Akretiry?s knees, resting in the grey light of the window was Bakada?s form. Her body twisted such that her back was turned to face the room but she looked up, out towards the window and the oblivious cloud cars beyond the Temple?s wall. Each one that passed painted a momentary shadow over the crescent line of her cheek and jaw that was visible from the door end of the room.

    Obi-Wan kept his post by the door. He was still in shock about what had happened and at a loss for what to do or say; ?There, there? didn?t quite seem to cut it. Akretiry stood when they entered, giving a nod toward each in turn. When she came to him, her grey eyes gave him a sort of quick once-over looking up and down. There was no malice, or really anything in her expression? it was an act of pure, simple, and un-self-conscious observation. It made him want to squirm nonetheless.

    ?Well...? the other Master replied softly, refolding her arms and stepping back to regard Bakada once again. ?Not too badly, all things considered. I think... she?ll make out pretty well.? Like struts straining to hold the knowing silence up out of view, Akretiry?s words fell flat. She said nothing more and just stood there, pensively, watching Bakada with her lips pressed narrow.

    With a soft scuffle of robes heard clearly in the dead air of the room, Qui-Gon turned around to face his apprentice squarely.

    ?Padawan,? he said, ?Why don?t you see what you can pull up on Madidi??

    Obi-Wan hesitated, casting a long look at his new partner, though his view was obscured by Qui-Gon and Akretiry standing in his way. Felt so wrong to go... Why? How did that come to be?

    Qui-Gon was giving him the Look. Not the harsh one, but the sort of sad, disappointed one that asked him Just do it, will you?

    ?Yes, Master,? Obi-Wan assented, bowed, and scooted out the door.

    ?She... wants me to go now,? Akretiry said, looking hesitantly up to her friend?s face. A momentary glance down and to the side gave the rather unnecessary indication as to whom ?she? meant.

    ?Alright,? he said simply. ?Let?s go, then.? His true reply was in the come-along touch he gave, setting the palm of his hand against the small of her back; the words were just dressing. Akretiry let herself be turned by the nudge? the gentlest of pushes, but fully intended to get her safe and out the door. Her heart let out a grateful sigh for that? if for some reason he?d asked her to stay, she may very well have done so. Whether to ignore Qui-Gon?s wishes or Bakada?s was not a conflict she wanted any part of.

    When they reached the doorway leading out of their quarters, Akretiry turned around to take his arm in her hand, at the intersection of forearm and wrist. It was a gesture, a kind of touch that carried with it
    the weight of faith among the Mornay; Akretiry made it towards him without a second con
  20. Darth Tristeza Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2000
    star 1
    Alright! It's about time! I hope this means you plan to keep going with this fic.
  21. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Didn't really think it was a new post but decided to check anyway.
    Lo and behold it was! Glad to see you're backHIROKO
  22. Celes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 1999
    star 1
    Another post...must have another post!!!!
  23. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    Heck yeah, I'm gonna keep going!

    The next post's a fun one too.
  24. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    Yay! I finally found this one again! Post more, Hiroko!!
  25. Son of the Suns Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 6, 1999
    star 6
    It's been four months since the last time this was upped, so...
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