Beyond - Legends Ahhh...not Valentines DAY /humor/ Jaina

Title: Not V. Day!
Disclaimer: still don't own Star Wars
Summary: Why Jaina Hates V. Day
Short Story=3posts

This is for my own amusement... it is the fastest written fic that I have ever done, each post done in about 5 min... the last two posts are written much faster than the first, as such it loses quality, get over it. This isn't serious, or at least not totally


I, Jaina Solo, absolutely hate Valentines Day.

In my experience Valentines come in four categories?

From friends?from family?from your current boyfriend?and from?well?the strange people that you have never met and never will, those obsess over you. essentially, the nerfherders.

Unfortunately I have a lot of men obsessing over me, and by extension sending me Valentines.

Every year I get thousands of valentines, and thousands, is not a joke.

Now, I know what your thinking, being one of the most sought after girls in the galaxy has got to be fun, especially on Valentines day.

Well, your wrong?in fact you're really, really, vapin' wrong.

When you have half the known galaxy obsessing over you Valentines Day becomes the most feared day in your entire year.

Do you have any idea how many proposals I get every valentines day?I've never even met 999 guys out of every 1000 that propose, and the one that I have met, well, it's normally some mechanic who I said five words to in my entire life.

Now, all of these random people converge on me on Valentines Day expressing their eternal love. And every one of them is convinced that the instant I get their valentine, whether it's a note, a comm. Message, or a golden wrench with heart engraved into it (no joke, this mechanic gave me one last year, shudder).

Every single one of them is convinced that I absolutely must share their feelings?and every single one of them converges on me in the time span of 24 hours.

24 hours of embarrassment.

24 hours of feeling horrid for having to tell them all that you don't reciprocate their feelings.

24 hours of leaving broken hearts all around me.

My Valentines day always begins the same way,

Waking up to my comm., Beeping

I always think that checking my comm., in the morning will be the worst part of the day?

?I turn it on and it says?

"You have 1384 new messages, there has been an update, you have 1385 new messages, there has been an update, you have 1386 new messages?"

Well, I'm sure you get the point.

Then I have to go thru and delete all of the messages, which always takes, well

FOREVER!

Then I go out of my room and discover how many admirers I have on base?

Last year alone I had eighteen males of various species declare undying love to me over breakfast, thirty-four over lunch, and ninety-seven in the mess hall during dinner?

I felt like I was going to go insane?

?Then who shows up but Lando, who naturally is having a Valentines Day party, what else.

And then who shows up at the party but Wes Janson, which of course means that the punch is spiked, and that a strange Ewok keeps appearing and the drunks keep trying to get the Ewok to dance with them, sigh. Which then chases all of the only mildly drunk to get away from the dance floor and come towards, who else, me.

Leading me to be surrounded by Drunken admirers and the girls that they are supposed to be at the party with?

?Did I mention that I get more death threats on Valentines Day than any other day of the year?

Yea, well, all those girls that the males are supposed to be dating?

Get really, and I mean really, mad at me

Like, you thought a charging bantha was bad, well, it aint noth'in compared to these girls.

And it's not my fault!!!

Well, OK, maybe it is?

?But I didn't ask to be a Jedi, a hero, or get more holo documentary than anyone else. It's not my fault that people find the Hero more attractive than the girl next door.

But, of course, they don't see it that way. No I must be trying to steal their boyfriend. As if.

Besides as anyone who knows me can tell you, I only like human males that have

 

Who knew Corellia had nine hells . . .

Very nicely done. I esp. liked the ewok comments. Oh, and Wes being at the party meaning spiked punch. That was funny too.

 

LOL, this is amazing. Jaina doesn't get an easy life does she!!!!

I mean, I give everyone Valentines but I only give one Valentine that essentially says "ask me out or I'll have my Dad put a blaster bolt thru your head"
darn, what a good image!!! her dad shooting someone for NOT asking her out!!!

And then theirs Kyp
ahh Kyp's the ONLY choice and you know it!!!!!

Because today I've made myself a promise, I'm going to lock myself inside my room, barricade the door, and turn off my commlink?and then no proposals! No death threats! And absolutely no Ewoks?now we'll see who has the last laugh!
NOW YOU GOT THE RIGHT IDEA!!! V-Day sucks and you should barricade yourself every year!!!

can't wait for more!!!

meg

 

lol, I like this a lot. I like the dancing Ewoks.

Death threats...like it's her fault the other girls' boyfriends like her more.

But I agree: Valentine's day is pointless. Lucky for me, I get the message out before people start crowding my inbox with Valentine's day wishes. I only got 5 so far. One was from my boyfriend & he had to get permission to do so

Ah well, I'll just wait and see who asks me to dinner first?tomorrow
Smart girl. Why care about someone on only one day of the year?

 

that was hilarious

 

I'm sensing this might be a J/K fic, but...

It's so funny I can't help but stick around.

~Rebel

 

Great job, i love jaina's comm message thingy

give it to Jag! or else i'll take him!

 

Give it to KYP lol great story!

 

you only got 5... i got like 15 and one was from my ex!

 

Next up in around an hour

around key word

-A

 

only give one Valentine that essentially says "ask me out or I'll have my Dad put a blaster bolt thru your head"



Ah the perils of being Jaina Solo!

Nice job on this

 

Here we go



Part 2

Beep beep?.

Shavit, I forgot to turn off my personal commlink?

Ah, well, it?s probably one of the boys

?You have three messages?

?Message one from seven o two in the morning?Hey Jaina it?s Zekk I was Just wondering if you would, um, go to the Valentines Day dance with me?comm. Me.?

?Message one from seven o two in the morning?Hello Jaina, this message is from Jag, I was wondering if you would grace this evening with your presence, please comm. Me back on my personal channel, thank you.?

?Message one from seven o two in the morning?Hey Goddess I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Dance tonight?It?ll be fun, singing Ewoks, fake ti?welks?you get the picture?I'll pick you up after dinner.?

OK, whom?ll I go with?

Wait a second; I promised that I wouldn?t leave my room all day!

Then why am I thinking about going to a dance?

Because three really hot guys asked you to go?

All right, maybe I?ll go to the party, just this once.

Beep, Beep?

?You have one message?

?Hi, umm, Jaina Solo thisisTommyandILoveyouandwouldyoucomewithmetothedancetonighti?llloveyouforever????

How did they manage to get my private comm. Number?

Guess the barricade and turning off the regular commlink channel didn?t work.

OK, now I have no reason to stay barricaded?and I had better turn my private commlink off.

Now?whom do I go out with?

Who called first?



Is it even possible that they all called me at the same exact time?

Never mind, it must be, because they did it?now how do I choose?

I?ll flip a credit! No, wait that won?t work?theirs three of them.

What do I do now?

I need advice?who can give me good advice on what to do in this situation?

I'll ask Danni!

After all she's a scientist, she'll know exactly what I should do

After all scientist?datologist, it just goes together.

Where did I put my comm.?

There it is?o kriff?I have to turn it on to call Danni, sigh, here goes.

"You have 1384 new messages, there has been an update, you have 1385 new messages, there has been an update, you have 1386 new messages?"

Hey, I didn't throw the commlink across the room this year, progress.

"Hey Jaina! What are you calling about?"

"Well, I have a bit of a problem?I was asked out by three really hot guys, and I don't know who to go to the dance with. Can you help?"

"Of course I can?Soo?who are they?"

"Jag, Kyp, and, o yea?Zekk"

"That two timing bimolecular mass?you TRAITOR, Zekk is going to the dance with ME and if you so much as make him glance at you I will slowly dissect you with my vibroscapel?you hear me!"

Turning off the commlink I wondered what to do next.

---

Ha ha ha...coming up next...Dancing Ewoks[face_grin]

-A[face_coffee]

 

Where is everyone?

 

Ok... So Zekks out.


Pretty funny! Poor Jaina!
I'll take part of her problem if she wants help. Just you know, 200 of the thousands.

 

last one...

As I was wondering, someone knocked.

I now had a huge problem, the room was still barricaded.

?Just one moment!?

Concentrating on the, well, stuff, I use the force to move it out of the way, and open the door.

A young girl is standing there holding a bunch of yellow flowers?

Flowers; something that I have had bad experiences with on previous Valentines Days?

?Every year I get thousands of flowers, OK so this isn?t half bad, that is it wasn?t until I realized that I?m allergic to about half the flora in the galaxy and that I have an allergic reaction to Corellian Iris?, which also happen to be yellow.

Now, I know what you?re thinking?who in this entire universe would get you a Corellian Iris? Well evidently the Corellian Company that sells Corellian Iris? has free shipping, which naturally means that around half of the flowers I get are Corellian Iris?.

And so two years ago, I was sitting in my room surrounded by Corellian Iris? when everything starts to itch and I have rashes everywhere?

Well you get the picture.

So, where was I?

?Ah yes, I?m standing here staring at the girl holding yellow flowers, just kriffin freaked out that they might be Corellian Iris? because they?re yellow, when she steps into my room and says, ?These are from my brother, He said to tell you to read the note.?

Then she turns around and walks away.

Glancing down I realize that these aren?t Corellian Iris?, thank the force, rather there Hapen roses. Yellow Hapen roses.

Yellow and roses, that stands for friendship.

Looking at the card I realize that it?s from Jag. The card essentially says that he?s seeing someone else, and wants to stay friends.

I sigh as I sit down.

At least now I know who I?m going with.

Although I?m kriffin annoyed that they asked me out and then backed out. I stood up and turned on the comm. Recorder, it showed that I had 1783 new messages, but I just needed to listen to the one from Kyp to find out where to meet him.

?Message one from seven o two in the morning?Hey Goddess I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Dance tonight?It?ll be fun, singing Ewoks, fake ti?welks?you get the picture?I'll pick you up after dinner.?

I'll pick you up after dinner?why do I even bother; He would have taken me out no matter who I decided on, that?s just how he is.

O well, It?ll be fun!

---

EDIT: If you wan't to know what happens next you have to head over to KAJSU... that is, if I ever get round to writing it...

-A[face_coffee]

 

lol. That was extremely amusing. It has made my day....yes I finally got an account! hooray! you should know who this is. hehe.

 

*giggle* That was great!

 

Wow...lots of giggles from everyone!

I have met my goal of making you all laugh!

DarthIshtar *giggle* That was great

made you laugh!

Darth_Dot
lol. That was extremely amusing. It has made my day....yes I finally got an account! hooray! you should know who this is. hehe.

O my... if you're here anything can happen!

-A

 

LOL. Keep on typen.

 

What is it whoth you and LOL young apprentice?

-A

 

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golden wrench with heart engraved into it (no joke, this mechanic gave me one last year, shudder). Now that says love....

I only like human males that have the prerequisite green eyes and black hair lol That's our Jaina.

Hm, interesting.