Before All I Am is Emptiness. Obi, Qui. *Author's note 0626* Hope to break author's block this summer

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Aug 14, 2006.

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  1. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Title: All I Am is Emptiness
    Author(s): Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: pre-TPM
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, others
    Genre: Drama, h/c, some mush, some angst.
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, AU
    Summary: Prequel to Book I Tears of the Force. Obi-Wan's missing five years and Qui's dealing with his missing padawan, mix of 3rd party and 1st party (Obi-Wan) POV. Readers of Book I & II know that in Book I Qui-Gon is reunited with his lost padawan, gone for 5 years and thought dead, after a successful mind wipe.
    Notes: This is LOOSELY based on a reference in JA #3 and the timeline is different, assume Obi-Wan is late teens when he disappears, he is not 13 as in JA.
    Second note: This deals with slavery. It will not be graphic, but it will not be pretty.


    Phindar:
    I knew I was lost?and I would lose everything: who I was, what I knew, and who I loved. Lost?no matter how much I wrapped my memories within barriers, I could feel them leaching away. The times??? and the last thing I remembered?was who I was...

    I was? I was?..

    ?.and then?I was gone.



    Chapter 1.

    The whimper of a child broke the silence, that of one all but still a baby, that knew only food and sleep and comfort and now its absence. The whimper of one lost and alone, and not knowing how else to ask for what it needed.

    A child now screaming, harsh hiccupping sobs of fear?it had been abandoned. Pleading arms reached out, but there was no one there to cradle the young one and whisper soothing words to calm the trembling body.

    A young man crouched on the ground, panting in panic, and his eyes were vacant and confused; it was from his throat that the whimpers escaped. He was that child, in all but years, and all his mind knew was that he was alone, all alone, and once, he had not been. He was alone?and the child he was needed comforting. The scream that tore from his throat was heartbreaking. The cry of an abandoned infant.

    Around him, Phindians cowered and averted their eyes. There was nothing they could do, for to help was to accept the same fate. Once a mind was wiped, the being had no way to survive. The being died, or was enslaved. Either fate was death, either in truth, or a living death.

    No one ever recovered from a mind wipe. No one.

    Not even one who had once been a Jedi.

    For now there was nothing but mindless terror. The Jedi was gone. The nearly adult man was gone. Obi-Wan Kenobi was gone.

    Only a terrified child remained, trapped in the body of a young man.

    And a bright spot in the Force dimmed and went out.

    There was sudden silence, too, in the spot where his Force presence had long resided, in the mind of his master, Qui-Gon Jinn. The Jedi suddenly knew, as he had never quite acknowledged before, the comfort that presence had brought him over the long years and how its sudden absence ? hurt.

    Inexplicably, a warm glow and gentle laugh in the corner of his mind that was his padawan of several years standing ? his friend, his companion, and student ? was gone, snuffed out.

    Disappeared.

    The Jedi master stiffened, nose sniffing the air, Force senses outstretched as was one hand ? to touch ? an empty hole in the Force.

    ?Obi-Wan?? he murmured, as the color drained from his face. Grabbing his cloak, he hurried to find his padawan.


    Edited because I wanted to go in a slightly different direction so the "end" of this post will be incorporated into the next chapter, expanded.
  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    That was excellent [:D]
    And knowing the other story and reading it made this
    an easy read.


    I will pursue you to the end of the galaxy, padawan mine. Be strong; I am coming. Look for me in the stars, in your heart, and in the glow of the sunset for I shall be there until the day we meet again.

    He knew he would find him again. Someday.

    It wasn?t the Force that promised that.

    It was his heart.


    I find I love reading angsty stories about Obi-Wan
    but I always want him to be alright in the end.
    So I loved reading this.

    Very nice =D=

  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Very compelling and well-written so far. I'll be following it.
  4. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    I just finished reading Tears of the Force Book II and had still tears in my eyes from that. And now your new story here :_| Poor Obi, and poor Qui! Also we know that they will be together finally, they will probably have a very rough path.
    Great start for another great story from you!
  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Definitely put me on the PM list for this one! ;)

    No one ever recovered from a mind wipe. No one.

    Not even one who had once been a Jedi.

    For now there was nothing but mindless terror. The Jedi was gone. The nearly adult man was gone. Obi-Wan Kenobi was gone.

    Only a terrified child remained, trapped in the body of a young man.

    And a bright spot in the Force dimmed and went out.

    There was sudden silence, too, in the spot where his Force presence had long resided, in the mind of his master, Qui-Gon Jinn. The Jedi suddenly knew, as he had never quite acknowledged before, the comfort that presence had brought him over the long years and how its sudden absence ? hurt.


    :_| Gorgeous, but heart breaking. =D=
  6. foxsolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    Would you mind giving me a link to Tears of the Force?
  7. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Gkilkenny: I find I love reading angsty stories about Obi-Wan but I always want him to be alright in the end. Me, too.

    DarthIshtar: Hope I continue to deliver.

    Fifilla: Great start for another great story from you! Aw, thanks.

    VaderLVR64: Gorgeous, but heart breaking. That's the intent.

    FoxSolo: Not at all...Book I is in Before the Saga and it's here: Book I Tears of the Force and the sequel in Saga is
    Book II Tears of the Force

  8. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    I love the fic! I was emotional and gripped me. Keep writing, I can't wait for an update! :)
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was so sad, that he kept remembering how upset Obi-Wan was about the mind wiping and then to have it done on him. Loved the description of the way he was after the wipe, almost a baby in a teenage body. Cruel was that person who stole him away. And poor Qui-Gon, desperately looking for him and finding nothing but the saber. He must be frantic with worry.

    Looking forward to more.
  10. no-one Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2003
  11. karebear214 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderfully, captivatingly sad, poignant, and realistic. I'll definitely be looking forward to more.
  12. Tatooine_Ghost Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2006
    star 4
  13. rabideuphonium Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2005
    star 1
    Beautiful. I get so excited every time I see your name up on the boards, especially when there's a new story! Can't wait for the next post!
  14. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Dimyavie: Okay, update here.

    Dianethx: Poor Qui is frantic.

    No-one: I know.

    Karebear214: Wonderfully, captivatingly sad, poignant, and realistic. Thanks. I'm going to have this story "mod" approved in places, for this story is meant to have dark and realistic scenes. Slavery is not a pleasant ordeal.

    Tatooine Ghost: So glad.

    Rabideuphonium: aw, [face_blush]

    I must apologize to early readers: I needed to revisit some of the first post, so I edited that chapter down to an intro and did some revising. A lot of what follows you originally read, and in some cases, quoted. I got struck, finally, by a bolt of lightning on this story, so added in a fair amount of Obi-Wan 1st Person POV - in the early part and then in the end. In the middle - well, the story has no Obi-Wan.


    Chapter 1 A Long Day?s Nightmare


    ?Here now, stop that wailing,? the Phindian snarled, grabbing the young man?s arm and trying to roughly yank him to his feet from where he huddled on the ground. The slim shoulders shook as the man that had once been known as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi, curled in around himself and resisted the tug. ?You?re a strong one, even if kinda small. You might fetch some good credits on the slave market.?

    And a cruel grin split his face.

    ?You been somebody once?now you?re no one. A nobody. And no one?s gonna miss you. ?Been,? I?ll call you ?Been,? for what you yusta be. Whaddaya know; I never knew a Jedi that once was. I hates Jedi, does you know that? They?se kills my pappy when I just a young ?un. Ain?t nothing more important to me than family, or getting back at them that has destroyed mine.?

    ?That fellar Jedi you with ? youse his family. Let a Jedi see what its like destroying a family ? and I?se got a problem with you, too, Jedi boy. I knows you knew me face and would find me. I knews yesterday I?d hafta find you and catch you.?

    The Phindian grinned at the sight ? the Jedi lying in a heap on the ground, fingers weakly opening and closing as if to grip something they couldn?t find.

    ?Your powers don?t protect you at all, does they? I bet if I was to slap you ? yup ? kick you ? yup ? you feels it like any ordinary being. Hurts, Been?? He laughed at the pained moans.

    ?Don?t turn them tearful eyes to me; I have no sympathy for you. Wail away, Been, wail for your death for I?se taken away so many memories you probably don?t remember how to even live. Sorta shame you don?t know what?s happening to you.?

    The Phindian dragged the human male to his feet and held him upright. ?You hardly knows how to walk, does you?? he snarled. ?Took so many memories away from you you?re helpless, like a babe in arms needing to suckle its mother still. Makes it a bit difficult to sell you?a slave gotta be able to do something!?

    The Phindian shook the man and peered closely into his youthful face, clean shaven and empty eyed, and suddenly laughed. He didn?t know if he liked the vacant look the best, or the bruise starting to form over a broken cheekbone, or the crimson stripe dripping from the nostrils like an ill-painted tattoo.

    So, Jedi weren?t impervious to pain after all. Almost mythical in stature to those who hadn?t met any, they were ? at least the humanoid ones ? little more than any other beings, who could feel pain, cry, and bleed.

    ?Been, I think I?ll keep you for a while and see if I can teach you how to work. I kinda like the idea of a helpless and mindless Jedi as decoration, so until you stop amusin? me or don?t learn to work hard, I?ll keep you. But once youse no more use to me; I?ll slit your throat and dump you somewhere ? maybe send your dead body postage due to that Jedi Temple of yours. Now, that would be a sight, it would. ?Course they wouldn?t care, would they? Jedi have no emotion, so they say. Probably just burn your body and then forget about you.?

    **

    Why had he let Obi-Wan leave alone that morning? Qui-Gon could have kicked himself, though it wasn?t like Obi-Wan could
  15. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    The two of them had discussed whether a Jedi could resist a mind wipe; now they knew.
    :_| So sad!

    I like it how you rewrote the two chapters!
    Hope you update soon!
  16. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    You leave it THERE!??? :eek: ARGH! [face_frustrated]


    ?Here now, stop that wailing,? the Phindian snarled, grabbing the young man?s arm and trying to roughly yank him to his feet from where he huddled on the ground. The slim shoulders shook as the man that had once been known as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi, curled in around himself and resisted the tug. ?You?re a strong one, even if kinda small. You might fetch some good credits on the slave market.?

    And a cruel grin split his face.

    ?You been somebody once?now you?re no one. A nobody. And no one?s gonna miss you. ?Been,? I?ll call you ?Been,? for what you yusta be. Whaddaya know; I never knew a Jedi that once was. I hates Jedi, does you know that? They?se kills my pappy when I just a young ?un. Ain?t nothing more important to me than family, or getting back at them that has destroyed mine.?


    Oh no, my baby is in trouble! [face_worried]

    A great story, and another lovely chapter! =D= Your writing is so powerful and lyrical, truly a joy to read! [face_love]
  17. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    ?Does you condemn this mother never to knows her child, or does you trade your memories for hers? Decide Jedi. Someone?ll lose their memory within minutes.?

    Though the Jedi didn?t visibly move a muscle, he seemed to stiffen. His voice even colder, he seemed not to hesitate even as he spoke, ?I know my duty.? His free hand swept out and pulled the woman and child behind him while his other hand tossed the deactivated thermal detonator into a soft bin of colorful cloth before grabbing for the Phindian?s arm, but the moment?s delay had cost him.

    ?No!? the Jedi shouted as the device slammed into his head. The Jedi first stiffened and then began to collapse, fell into himself and lay convulsing on the ground. In the commotion, a silvery cylinder was kicked aside, unnoticed.






    So that's how it happened
    Obi-Wan giving his life (or memories) for another
    So brave of Obi-Wan
    No wonder Qui-Gon never gave up
    searching for him.[:D]
  18. ___Sithspawn___ Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2004
    star 3
    *sneaks in*

    Well, this is interesting...I certainly don't envy Obi-Wan. Been, is it? Could that be the real meaning of the name he takes after RotS?

    I'm looking forward to whatever comes next...
  19. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I am back working on this story (had to finish a story in Saga) and will post an update soon (cross fingers).

    Fifilla: Yes, this story will have lots of sadness and pain in it, but moments of humor, too. At least those of us who read the sequels know how it ends, don't we? ;)

    VaderLVR64: You leave it THERE!??? ARGH! Well of course! And of COURSE Obi-Wan, 'er, "Been," is in trouble. Nearly every chapter he's in.

    Gkilkenny: Best I could do, to set up the story, sorry. [face_worried] :)

    Sithspawn: I certainly don't envy Obi-Wan. Been, is it? Could that be the real meaning of the name he takes after RotS?
    I'm looking forward to whatever comes next...
    Shhhh, you'll give it away.

    Next chapter or two will be Obi-Wan's POV - before Obi-Wan disappears from the story. [face_devil]
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was so sad, that Qui-Gon was able to see what happened to his apprentice but couldn't do anything about it. He can't even find the kid since his mind has been wiped. Will he ever know where Obi-Wan has gone? After all, he is still Force-sensitive. Perhaps it becomes instinctual after a while - no thinking, just feeling.

    Good job.
  21. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
  22. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I hope to bring this story back from hiatus shortly...I think I have to hunt down a beta or muse to get me through the next chapter. The STORY is pretty much complete, but I am SO STUCK on the next chapter.

    Thanks to patient readers and thanks for your posts...hopefully...since I'm just about done with a Saga story I can re-devote time to this story.
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