JCC ALL JCers are Required to Read This

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this post is going to be a rough ****ing ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this message board, we have been ****ING UP in terms of sequel trilogy posts and general social interactions with Theonering.net. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so ****ing AWKWARD and so ****ing BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Diggy, I've been having so much fun with my fellow JCers this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to ****ing find you irl to do it myself.

I do not give a flying ****, and Theonering.net does not give a flying ****, about how much you ****ing love to talk to your fellow JCers. You have 361 days out of the ****ing year to talk to JCers, and this week is NOT, I ****ing repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the geek community, and that's not ****ing possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid *****: OTHER MESSAGE BOARDS DON'T LIKE BORING MESSAGE BOARDS. Oh wait, DOUBLE ****ING NEWSFLASH: THEONERING.NET IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE ****ING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ****ING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little ***** that have talked openly about posting at a different board IN FRONT OF THEONERING.NET MEMBERS. Are you people ****ing retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore Celebrations. If Theonering.net openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Trekkers.com over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE **** WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be posting at other boards, I don't give a **** if your boyfriend is on it, if your brother is on it, or if your entire family is on that board. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do ****ing NOT convince other JCers to leave with you.

"But Diggy!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this post, "I've been cheering on our boards in all the topics, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID ****ING ASS HATS, IT ****ING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW ****ING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ****ING UP IN COSTUMING AND PROPS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being ****ing WEIRD in The Sequel Trilogy Forum (for example, being stupid ***** and saying stuff like "durr what's a wookiee?" is not ****ing funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for Star Trek. The opposing. ****ing. Franchise. ARE YOU ****ING STUPID?!! I don't give a **** about geek honor, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN FRANCHISE AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A CONVENTION? ARE YOU ****ING BLIND? Or are you just so ****ing dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the geek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE ****ING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR ****ING MATCHUP. I will ****ing **** punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a **** if you REPORT me, I WILL ****ING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Diggy, I'm now crying because your post has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this post applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little ***wipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird **** that does weird **** during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S CHAT ROOM.

I'm not ****ing kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS MESSAGE BOARD. I would rather have 40 posters that are fun, talk to people in person, and not ****ing awkward than 80 that are ****ing nerds. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to people it's face to face interaction", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't ****ing show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn **** block for our board. Seriously. I swear to ****ing God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner in tonight's chat room, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this post, I would apologize but I really don't give a ****. Go **** yourself.

 

*yawns* Relax, and have an alcoholic beverage.

 

Only hot party girls are allowed to get away with rants like this.

 

This thread is useless without the threat of a **** punt.

 

Wait, there's a CHAT ROOM? You people still do that?

 

I don't understand what is going on. Is my head on fire?

 

I applaud the effort that went into that. This makes me exempt from having to read the entire thing.

 

But I tried! Don't yell at me!

 

I said **** punt

 

Did you?

*looks*

Ah, found it... my apologies... thread is no longer useless.

 

I don't see any criticism against those who have not donated to my yacht fund.

 

You were probably busy looking for **** punch.

 

Subservient chicken

 

"Is that Latin?"

 

All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

Speaking of which....whatever happened to Darth_AYBABTU?

 

He was **** punted off of the boards for being too boring and cheering on another franchise.

 

I didn't know message boards were this serious.

 

Are you Vegeta?

 

Needs more Michael Shannon.

 

Don't we all my Indian friend. Don't we all.

 

He left to pursue his American idol dream. He ended up marrying the first woman on the FBI's most wanted list. They have a daughter together, and enjoy a quiet life raising cities.