Before "All said and done..." (Obi/Qui/OCs) JA - *Part IV, updated 10/03/2006*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Princess_Arulmozhi, Feb 7, 2006.

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  1. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    He adores you, Qui-Gon, he thought with a pang.

    Oh that was so cute! [face_love] Great post!
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I thought I'd forgotten about him.

    Apparently not, a small voice within taunted.


    Indeed not that he should come so quickly to your mind. Oh dear, Qui-Gon that is not a place to find yourself not up to par. :( :(

    He adores you, Qui-Gon, he thought with a pang.

    Ohhh, awwww. That is so sweet for him top have noticed. [face_love] [face_love]
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... hehe I just adored Ky telling Obi of when they first met -- does make sense that Qui-Gon wouldn't want to tell his apprentice that their first meeting was burping in his face when he was an infant ;) [face_laugh]


    And oh dear.. why do I sense Qui's going to need rescuing? Walking things off, with a paralyzed arm isn't a good idea Qui ..[face_worried] I told you not to do that, big gundark but does he ever listen? :p


    Edit -- Actually, Princess you might want to change your note to reflect that Shane Callister belongs to Neon Star, he's not actually mine. Though I would keep him permanently if she'd let me ;)
  4. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    ~hugs and is fed vast quantaties of sweets~

    ~bounces excitedly~

    Well now, of course Obi adores him! Who doesn't?

    And that was wonderfuly touching! I think I like this knight. I can aprove of Jinns friend Kyran. I like him. He's cool. I mean....

    Qui-Gon was wonderfully written in this Chapter! His thoughts were so easy to follow, and yet gave him the feeling of disorganization that the angry have! Loved it to pieces!

    But there is one thing I would like to know.... WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM???

    Where did he go? If he was so insistant on listening to the Force when Obi-Wan disagreed, why in the world didn't he listen to it now?

    ... I think that was three things.

    At any rate Master, I really can't wait for the next post, and I can't tell you ow much I'm enjoying this!

    Your little one,
    Seven
  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I don't know how I missed this before. I must be getting REALLY old. :p Anyway, I've read the first chapter and love it. I'll be back soon to read the second one. Bravo on another amazing bit of work! =D= @};-
  6. SakuraTsukikage Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    Oh, Qui-Gon . . . surely you should know better than to walk in those areas of Coruscant by now--but I completely believe that he doesn't. ;)

    I'm loving it!

    There was a moment of silence as Obi-Wan polished the counter, his hand making vaguely circular motions on the already clean surface. His face was lowered, but Kyran caught a sliver of brightness as the boy's blue-green eyes rose briefly, shimmering in the light, a hint of a smile that hovered on the boy's lips.

    He adores you, Qui-Gon, he thought with a pang.


    That has got to be one of the sweetest, most touching passages I've read in a long time. [face_love] [face_love]
  7. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    One could expect no protection here. All was darkness, despite the faint pinpricks of light that seeped through avenues now forgotten. These were areas not safe even for a Jedi, he remembered. A Jedi attracted more danger than he could usually ward off, and though they were guardians of peace and justice, there were limits to how much they could guard.

    What a terrific place to go for a walk, Qui-Gon! :rolleyes:

    Go back, came the inner voice. Get back to the Temple. Now.

    Rest first, he wanted to argue back. Too tired. Just a few moments, he begged. Just a few mom--

    He barely felt the blow that came crashing on his head.


    o_O Now you've done it, Qui-Gon! You went for a walk in an area that you should have stayed away from!

    Exciting update, PA! I can't wait to see just who has Qui-Gon, and how long it will take Obi-Wan to realize that his Master is in trouble! :D

    I don't think he'll be too worried about past disagreements anymore! [face_mischief]

    Star
  8. corellian-jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 2
    He certainly does adore Qui-Gon! [face_love] Looking forward to the next part.

    By the way, congratulations on Best Author, P_A. You certainly deserve it!
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I think Qui_gon is in BIG trouble while his best friend is going to have to rescue him
  10. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Absolutely wonderful, Princess! You definitely deserve to be awarded Best Author! =D=

    I feel so bad for all the heartache between these two. I don't really blame any of them, though I hope Qui-Gon comes to his senses soon. He's holding on to his pride, and it's really going to hurt Obi-Wan if they don't get past it soon. I like the way you write Kyran, too.

    Can't wait for more!
  11. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Hehehe, I want to hear some of those stories too :p

    And what'sup with Qui now? Bashed on the head now. I'd say he needed it, but this doesn't look good.,

    More soon!
  12. Dragonlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 1
    The Qui-Gon segment:
    ...the hell?

    :)Seriously, though, what's up? If you hadn't been careful to say right arm I'd have almost said that he was having some sort of heart problem, but that didn't seem like it at all. Then I thought that something was wrong with Obi-Wan and I almost had a heart attack, but the rest of the post ruled that out as well. Has he been drugged? No matter what it is, it's concerning...especially since Obi-Wan apparently didn't feel anything. Wonderfully intriguing, in any case.

    The Obi-Wan segment:
    I love Kyran. I love Obi-Wan. I love Kyran and Obi-Wan. Funny how Qui-Gon, normally described as the less rigid of the two, doesn't let go of his anger quite so easily as Obi-Wan seems to have. And the end, of course, really tugged at my heartstrings.

    In sum: Lovely as always, and I eagerly await the next installment. And congratulations on the well-deserved winter awards!
  13. Mind_Tricked Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2005
    star 1
    Great update! =D=

    Poor Qui-Gon! What happened to him?

    I loved the image of Qui-Gon as a youngling. Striking contrast with Obi-Wan's image of his Master. Can't wait to read more of that!

    Please, post more soon!
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    He adores you Qui-Gon
    Of course he does and Qui-Gon can be such a meanie

    This is a great story I nearly missed it.

    "Did you know that your Master used to suck his thumb?"

    Obi-Wan almost dropped a small saucer, before he righted it with the Force, carefully onto a shelf. "Pardon?"


    Finally some one is telling Obi-wan about his Master

    Could you PM me please with updates@};-
  15. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Thank you for all the marvelous comments. Replies coming soon. Meanwhile, next update. Shane Callister belongs to Neon Star, Kyran Josel to Layren.

    Gods, I love writing this.

    ************************

    Part III

    Shane Callister held his arms out, flexed his fingers, laced them together, and gave a vigorous pull. A faint snap relieved a good deal of stiffness and he shook himself for a moment, before re-aligning himself with his surroundings.

    ?We?ve arrived at the Temple, Sir Knight.?

    Shane turned in the direction of the voice and nodded. He gave what he knew would be seen by the pilot as a genuine smile, and moved towards the exit, which he heard open with a swish.

    ?If I may help you with your bags???

    Shane made a vague motion with his hands. ?No, that won?t be necessary. Thank you.?

    He spent a moment in gathering his Force sense to a quivering point within his mind. Stretched out with his senses. Felt the shuttle. The cabin. The pilot?s approximate position, from where he stood. His bags. Other odd objects in the cabin. The faint whirring sounds, the confused babble of noise that reached him from outside.

    ?Are you sure?? came the pilot?s concerned voice again, and Shane inclined his head. He stood straighter, easing his wings, which lay close to his back, unfurled ? they rarely saw use in this and other, confined spaces. Fortunately, this particular journey had been a relatively short one.

    He put out a hand and looked straight ahead, acquiring the position of his bags with pin-point precision, then bent to pick them up, face slightly at an angle. Feeling the pilot?s curious gaze, he smiled. ?Thank you again, but I am perfectly able to take care of myself.?

    The pilot was far too intelligent not to sense the good humoured answer, and probably felt a good deal of surprise. ?If you can, you can,? he replied cautiously, automatically moving back towards the cockpit.

    Shane Callister felt for the door, carefully eased himself down the steps, and set foot on the ground. The confused rumble of Coruscant?s mighty populace struck his ears like thunder, almost physical in its assault.

    ?Sir?? came the pilot?s tentative voice from inside.

    ?Yes?? Shane turned his whole face in the direction of the voice.

    ?Do those wings really work??

    Shane?s lips twisted in a wry smile, immediately sensing the others? intense curiosity?a curiosity that he had probably tried very hard to suppress, but which had broken out, now that he was at journey?s end. ?Only when I want to fly.?

    There was a chuckle, and he heard the shuttle?s doors slide shut.

    Jedi Master Shane Callister shielded his sightless eyes from the glare of the late evening suns?a habit he still had not thrown off?and began walking towards one of the numerous jumbled pathways leading towards the Jedi Temple.

    ********

    ??and then he raised all the hells of Corellia, when he brought us to the Temple kitchens,? finished Kyran, as Obi-Wan?s low laughter rose to join his chuckles. ?We were never allowed to forget that one?and I still dislike going to the meal halls. I stay away if I can help it.? He placed the glass of strong Chirae Essence that Obi-Wan had unearthed from the depths of a closet, after a great deal of search among dusty cabinets.

    ?I suppose you cook for yourself?? asked Obi-Wan, having finished his cooking chores, and at something of a loss about what to do next.

    ?How dare you presume that,? was Kyran?s amiable reply. ?I?ve already trained my padawan to knighthood, or she would usually do it ? and failing that, I invariably depute Shane for the job. Or, if your Master isn?t in one of his icy, misty, unreachable Mount Manarai moods, him as well. But I,? he analyzed his slender fingers as he spoke. ?I never sully my beautiful fingers if I can.? He shot a look at Obi-Wan, who was looking at a table in the corner. ?And you may stop debating about whether that table needs cleaning ? it doesn?t.?

    Obi-Wan jerked, as though pulled out a reverie, and smiled a little. ?It?s been a while since were
  16. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5


    Obi-Wan squinted, pushing away the pain and a certain cloudy darkness that seemed bent on engulfing him, and became aware of himself lying half on the floor, half in Kyran?s arms. ?Master Josel,? he enunciated thickly. ?Pardon.?

    ?You can ask for as many pardons as you want later,? came Kyran?s voice cut in briskly, as the older Jedi touched his forehead, turning aside. ?Your Master?s been hurt.? His voice sounded strained.

    How did he know? The question seemed silly, the moment he remembered the Force-bond the Masters shared. ?Yes.? He blinked at the ceiling a moment. Sudden energy poured into his veins; he could not sit still. ?Qui-Gon. Must go to Qui-Gon.?



    Obi must have forgotten who's presence he's in ;) Ky has known Qui since he was a toddler :p Enjoying this marvelous tale, immensely, Princess! =D= And if you love writing it so much maybe update twice a week? :D
  17. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved how you built up the tension, easing it in the beginning and then as they talked, Obi-Wan was slowly relaxing and then bam, they realize that Qui-Gon is in trouble.

    Great job with this. You write so darn well.
  18. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Gods, I love writing this.

    It really shows P_A. Superb intro to Shane in this! LOL The entire post just leaves me giggling with delight. I love it when fics thrill me!
  19. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    He adores you, Qui-Gon, he thought with a pang.

    awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. [face_love] now go save buckethead, Kyran.

    lol. excellent and mushy
  20. corellian-jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 2
    You enjoy writing this? Good. :p

    Obi-Wan's concern is very sweet...

    ?And where do you think you?re going??

    Obi-Wan looked up in surprise, an unspoken question in his eyes. Where else?


    :* for our favourite Paddy-wan. Do continue!
  21. Dragonlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 1
    Oh, I can definitely tell that you love writing this. The excitement and the intensity come not only from the words themselves but from the discernable feelings behind them, and that is what is truly making me enjoy this so much. :) I'm loving Kyran more and more with every installment, and I'm definitely seeing the likenesses between him and Obi-Wan. And I'm eager to see what you do with Callister. The gang's all here...*grins*

    Looking forward to the next installment.
  22. Mind_Tricked Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2005
    star 1
    =D=

    ?How dare you presume that,? was Kyran?s amiable reply. ?I?ve already trained my padawan to knighthood, or she would usually do it ? and failing that, I invariably depute Shane for the job. Or, if your Master isn?t in one of his icy, misty, unreachable Mount Manarai moods, him as well. But I,? he analyzed his slender fingers as he spoke. ?I never sully my beautiful fingers if I can.? He shot a look at Obi-Wan, who was looking at a table in the corner. ?And you may stop debating about whether that table needs cleaning ? it doesn?t.

    -fantastic passage!

    You know, there's a theory that students usually adapt their teachers' worst traits. That would explain Obi-Wan's stubbornness, wouldn't it? ;)

    Can't wait read more!
  23. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    ?Master Qui-Gon merely lost his temper with me,? Obi-Wan answered evenly. ?It has happened?? he had been going to say ?often?, but realized that this would not only be a mere figure of speech, but might also give Knight Josel the wrong impression about his own apprenticeship. ?It has happened sometimes.? He paused, weighing his words. ?There have been times when we could not see eye to eye.?

    ?I foresee the day when you will grow to be a great negotiator,? Kyran said, an amused smile glinting in his eyes.


    See, he is naturally gifted! ;)

    ...there was a young man caught in the crossfire, and we barely made it to the shuttle?s ramp and the Ambassador was singed and?? he stopped, blinking.

    ?A young man caught in the crossfire,? murmured Kyran, eyes half-lidded. ?That explains it.?

    Obi-Wan looked at him, puzzled. Then, he too made the connection. ?Oh, Force.? So this was why?he should have known.

    ?Your Master never could bear innocents getting injured,? said Kyran quietly. ?Shane and I accept that this is a part of war?all Jedi must? we desperately wish such things didn?t happen, but they do. There are times when we cannot reconcile ourselves to it either, no matter how hard we try. Qui-Gon always did feel too much.? He paused. ?It is what makes him what he is. A great Jedi.?


    He knew you would see it eventually, Obi-Wan! [face_mischief]

    Now, let's just hope to rescue Qui-Gon in time! :D

    Wonderful update, PA! I'm glad that you love writing it, because we all love reading it! [:D]

    Star
  24. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    Oooooooooooh!

    You STILL didn't tell!

    But that was a wonderful post! And I loved the wings! Wings are neat!

    I simply adored this post!

    More soon?

    Seven
  25. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Obi-Wan felt a pang. Perhaps there would always be some part of Qui-Gon that he would never reach. Some part that would always be closed to him; that would not open, regardless of his devotion.

    His heart clenched tightly, unbearably. He felt that he might suffocate, not be able to draw breath. He bit lips that threatened to tremble, forcing himself into rigidity. Well, then. You will just have to live with this knowledge.
    Poor Obi-Wan, what a hard thing to realize. :( Hopefully Qui will be able to be more open with him eventually.

    I'm glad they know now that something's wrong with Qui, I just hope it isn't too late! [face_worried] Hurry Kyran!

    Obi-Wan isn't going to be a happy camper when he wakes up, that's for sure. :(

    Can't wait for more, Princess! [face_batting]
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