"All That Glitters" ~ A JA#5 Alternative (take two)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Lwyn`nya Kenobi, Mar 13, 2000.

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  1. JSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2000
    Hey, I just wanted to say that this thread is really good, and please, please POST!! I usually just lurk, but I come out in desperate situations!! I can't see any new posts on this thread!!! I know their there somewhere!

    Jess
  2. Master Lurker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 14, 2000
    star 1
    Just a lurker saying: This is a great fic.
  3. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Why are these posts not showing mad.gif mad.gif
    eek.gif mad.gif
  4. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Lynn, where are you. I just been in the back pages and read your story Face of the Enemy and all I can say is WOW!!

    Please post more here.
  5. Lilith Demodae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    Lwyn, Where are you? Your thread is languishing in fourth page exile. It's been close to a month (could be more, I haven't checked) since you last gave us an actual story post. Please, don't leave us hanging this way.
  6. Kenobi Maul Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 1999
    star 4
  7. Kim-kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 1999
    star 3
  8. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    LW don't you like us anymore?!?!?!

    Please post on THIS THREAD, I am begging you.
    Pretty please with sugar on top
  9. naw ibo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 1999
    star 5
    Just post to let us know you're still alive and well, Lwyn'nya, please .
  10. Lwyn`nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 1999
    star 2
    ((still here, just reading like crazy! Oh! And I've got another story for you guys after this one! Look for it soon, it's titled "Seed of Being".

    http://music.acmecity.com/kidtunes/54/somedayoutof.ram"Someday Out Of The Blue" ~ Elton John ))

    ((Obi-Wan))

    The morning sun found us out on the deserted grass fields by my mother's house. Qui-Gon has barely said three words this morning as he took us out here, saying that there was something we needed to complete before leaving.

    "There is still a tortured soul that needs to be freed," he said.

    Patiently, I sit here by his side and wait. Despite everything we shared and all that has transpired between us, my Master is still something of an enigma. At first it felt unfair that he read my journals, learned so much about me. Things that I wasn't willing to share with anyone. Why should he know so much about me and I know so little of him? Though I was so estatic about him taking me as his Padawan, his reserved nature and paradox actions rattled me. I thought it was about trust and the lack of, and I feared so much that this would break us. That this mission would be our last.

    But I know now it isn't about trust, but healing. Maybe I knew then, but it is clear to me now that Xanatos violated something in him much as my father did to me. For once I see with clear eyes that, for all the trust I felt he wasn't giving me, I wasn't giving him. Kindred souls, I believe us to be. And knowing that makes it all easier.

    From beneath his cloak, Qui-Gon produces the trophied eye from my father's office. A shiver runs down my spine, despite the heat of the day. It's almost like I could feel the murdered Jedi Knight's spirit in aura around the sick trophy. Reverently, my Master removes the glass casing, holding out the encased eye before him as his eyes flutter closed and he begins to chant in a language foreign to my ears.

    Instead of asking questions, I simply sit and watch, opening up my senses to understand what's going on. With my ears, I hear my Master's words and while I cannot understand them word for word, I can understand the meaning. It is a death chant he murmurs. A ceremony of Release. Through the Force, I feel the ebbs and tides surging forth at Qui-Gon's words, coming to rest on the eye held revently in his hands. I feel the Force like fingers reaching towards the eye, as a Mother would to a lost child.

    And with my eyes, I see a breathtaking sight. The eye itself seems to slowly dissolve into brilliant glitters of purple light that swirl and dance like petals in the wind. One purple glimmer of light brushes my cheek as it flies upward and I can almost feel it like a woman's hand caressing my flesh in a form of gratefullness. A form of goodbye.

    And in moments, the sparkles of light have floated skyward, and a lost soul is once again rejoined with the Force.

    Absently, I brush my face with my hand, surprised to see a tear that slipped unknowingly from my eyes. Qui-Gon looks at me knowingly and I see his eyes are moist as well. No words are needed at all.

    We just smile.

    ((more in a sec!))
  11. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    You're back! Yeah!!!
    Please hurry back. That was wonderful.
  12. Kid Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2000
    star 1
    Okay, "a sec" is over now....more please, don't make me beg....please !!
  13. Lwyn`nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 1999
    star 2
    "Are you sure you have everything you need?" my mother asks again for the fifth time as Qui-Gon and I pack our things aboard the small starcraft. Our mission is over, and while I am anxious to return to the Temple, I have to say that leaving home is difficult.

    My Master moves to placate my mother for the fifth time. "We will be fine, Enia," he reassures her with a smile. I move to his side and he places a warm hand on my shoulder.

    "Must you leave so soon?" my mother tries again, "Why don't you stay for dinner?"

    "A tempting offer," Qui-Gon answers, "but I'm afraid we must leave shortly." He looks over at me and lightly tugs on the few strands of hair growing by my right ear. "We have pressing matters to return to." My heart races at the thought, but I turn eyes on my crestfallen mother and the joy fades under the growing misery.

    My Master lets go of my shoulder, almost with a little nudge forward, and I take the prompt, approaching my mother and giving her the biggest hug I can possibly give.

    "Everything's okay now, Mom," I whisper, clinging to her fast. Force, I'll miss her and Owen so much. I never realized how painful it would be come home, but despite my sorrow, I feel somewhat . . . complete. Now that my father is locked away in prison for the rest of his life, all of his amenities and financial assets have been liquidated. Since I'm now considered legally dead, being the sole inheritor of my father's fortune the money now goes to my mother and brother, where it belongs.

    My mother pulls back, and I look at her time worn face. She will always be beautiful to me. And I can see in her face as she smiles at me and runs her fingers through my short hair that perhaps she knows that things will be fine now. The nightmares are over for us. Time can go on.

    She kisses my forehead and lets me go, and I turn to Owen. Things haven't been put right between us and his accusations from that night still sting. He looks at me standoffishly, almost a little guiltily, as if he can also feel this wall between us. I open my mouth to say something, to say anything, but I meet the still-lingering coldness in his eyes and suddenly I find I can say nothing. No words can put right what is wrong between us. Nothing I can say can erase the poison left by my father.

    I mumble a goodbye to him, and he mumbles one back. Before I can give into the hurt and the sorrow, Qui-Gon's hand are on my shoulders, gently leading me away.

    "Come, Padawan," he orders gently. He leads me on board the ship and smiles as he asks me to ready the ship for takeoff. I jump at the chance, eager to get home, and eager to turn my mind away. He says he'll only be a moment as Qui-Gon walks down the ramp towards my family. From my station at the controls, I cannot hear what he says, but he says something to my mother, taking her hand and kissing it like a gentleman of old.

    And then he turns and kneels towards my brother . . .

    ****

    "Goodbye, Enia," the Jedi Master bade the woman farewell as he took her hand and placed a warm kiss on the top of it.

    "Thank you," Enia whispered, looking at the ship, and then at Qui-Gon. Her eyes expressed more gratitude than her words could ever hope to convey.

    Qui-Gon picked up on her thoughts and nodded. "It was a favor returned," he told her.

    "To me?" Enia asked, confused.

    Qui-Gon shook his head and nodded towards the ship. "To him."

    Enia searched the Jedi's eyes and smiled when she saw the warmth in them. A breath she didn't know she was holding escaped from her as peace finally found her. Things were going to be alright after all. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn had found a home within each other.

    Qui-Gon turned towards Owen, who had his arms crossed over his chest as if dealing with his own inner demons. He knelt and regarded the older boy evenly.

    "I know it's difficult," Qui-Gon began, the gentleness in his voice commanding Owen's attention. "The feelings you are dealing with. But you must separate on your own which are directed towards your brother and which are directed towards your step-father. Remember, for as much
  14. Lwyn`nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 1999
    star 2
    Back home at the Temple, Coruscant's morning light poured into the Jedi Council chambers with it's morning vigor. Yet it seemed pale in comparison to the light radiating from the young Jedi as he stood before his Master in the circle.

    Qui-Gon looked down at his Padawan's face with a warm smile. "With your permission, my Masters," he addressed the Council, "there is something I have left amiss in taking Obi-Wan Kenobi as my Padawan learner."

    "Permission granted," Mace Windu informed him, his normally severe features softened in light of this ceremony. Obi-Wan's radiating joy seemed infectious, even to the Council members.

    "Long time coming, it has been," Yoda said with a nod as Qui-Gon knelt before Obi-Wan. In his hands held a small pair of scissors and a small band. Qui-Gon looked from the scissors to the proud boy standing before him as memory struck him. Was it so long ago that he did this last? But looking back on the memory now didn't hold as much pain as it did before. No longer was he moving backwards. There was the future to prepare for.

    Slowly, Qui-Gon drew forth a long lock of his own hair with one hand, holding the scissors in the other. "Even though you are and have been my Padawan for a few months, it is customary to repeat the Master-Padawan vows before the Council. You deserve that much."

    "As do you, Master," Obi-Wan whispered in a voice that only Qui-Gon could hear.

    The sunlight glinted off of the metal scissors as the Jedi Master lopped off a thin, small portion of his own hair. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, will you honor me by becoming my Padawan? To study and learn from me? To fight by my side?"

    "Yes, Master," Obi-Wan tried to speak cooly and confidently, but his voice still shook slightly, hitched by emotion. It was almost all too much: being home again, standing before the Council, the mirrored joy in his Master's eyes. It had only been a few months that built up to this moment, but to Obi-Wan it felt like forever.

    And if he had to do it all over again? Yes, he would. In a heartbeat. And he wouldn't have changed a thing.

    Skillfull fingers weaved Qui-Gon's hair into his own and braided the short braid. The small band held it all in place. Qui-Gon drew back and just stared at his Padawan. Obi-Wan kept his eyes on him as his fingers touched the braid in wonder.

    A smile split the boy's face and before Qui-Gon could stand, his apprentice had wrapped him in a huge hug. One that he returned openly.

    "Welcome home, Obi-Wan," he whispered.

    The End

    ((OKay, so it's not really the end. There's still a short prologue to add, but seeing as how it's nearly 1 in the morning, and I have to be at work in six hours, I'll do it tomorrow. Feedback wanted!!))
  15. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    You want feedback? Okay I'm feedingback.

    Great story REeally! I can't believe its finally finished! Well almost. It was very very good too.
  16. The Butler Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 1999
    star 4
    Happy endings brighten my day!
  17. Katri Tai Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2000
    star 1
    The end!?!? eek.gif Awww..
    But it was a wonderful story
  18. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    OMG I go away for the weekend and when I come back she actually posted, several times at that eek.gif

    Wonderful posts they are too. I love that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have patched things up. I am sorry to see this wonderful story end.
  19. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    I'm really begnning to hate those two ittle words 'The End', but at least we know that there's another story in the works from Lwyn.

    This one has been a wonderful trip through many exasperating emotions. Thanks!!!
  20. Lwyn`nya Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 1999
    star 2
    ((some music for ya:
    http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Interview/7640/EverclearFatherofMine.ram"Father Of Mine ~ Everclear


    EPILOGUE


    ((one week later))

    "Hey!!" a loud, banging sound aroused Max Kenobi from his silent brooding on his cot. Not even bothering to move, Max barely turned an eye to find the cause of his disturbance. The jailer was rapping sharply on the titanisteel bars of his cell, an annoyed look on his face for having to deliver whatever package he was holding in his hand this late at night. "You've got a package fer ya!"

    Seeing that the prisoner wasn't about to move for his sake, the jailer simply slid the package through the maximum security bars that separated them. Let him get up and get his own mail, the jailer thought to himself. The sooner his shift was over, the sooner he could get home! And the sooner he could get away from this guy. He read the reports on how Max Kenobi had shot his own son in cold blood. The guy gave him the creeps something fierce! The sentence of manslaughter was lightened by Kenobi's slick lawyers. They could only hold him a few more days and then, if the evidence of the other charges didn't come in, they'd have to let him go. And that monster would be back on the streets again. The thought made him hurry away faster.

    Five minutes after the guard had left, Max slowly stood and made his way over to the package, lifting it to the dim light of his cell to read it's contents. One visual/audio holodisk recording, with holodisk player. No mention of a return address or whom it was from. The only thing written on the box was that it was addressed to him. Mildly curious, Max opened the package and inserted the slim holodisk into the player.

    Instantly an image of his son appeared. Ben was dressed in the colorless robes of the infernal Jedi, but looking at his cold, impassive face, blazing eyes, and fixed jawline, it was like staring into a mirror.

    "Hello, Father," his son bade him coldly.

    Max nearly crushed the holodisk player as his fist slammed down on the small table. Ben! Alive!! The damned boy was somehow still alive!! Max seethed in rage as his mind raced as to how the boy had survived. He had shot the brat himself! Ben had interefered with his plans, trying to be one of those foolish Jedi, and in killing him, Max had sentenced himself . But it had been worth it. And now, somehow that damned kid was still alive!

    Suddenly, Max was in action, his calculating mind quickly processed it all, finding a way to use this to his advantage. Obi-Wan was alive. The timestamp on the holo recording proved that much. This and some bribery would get him off of the manslaughter charge, and then he could work to moving his empire, getting back to where he was before. If there was one thing Max despised, it was failing in his plans.

    And once he was free, he'd find the wretched boy and correct his mistake. He'd kill him with his bare hands.

    "You're probably wondering why I am alive, much less what I'm doing sending you a communication," Obi-Wan continued, his voice cool and punctual.

    "Jailer!!" Max screamed, banging against the titanisteel bars.

    "Well, I thought that you would be proud of me by me demonstrating that I have learned much from you."

    Max grinned viciously as he stared at the image of the snotty brat. Once again, his clumsy boy had tripped over himself. Once the jailers saw this, and he was freed, nothing would stand in his way of finishing what had begun at the convention.

    "Jailer!!" Max screamed again. Stupid fools. Why won't they run faster??

    "A time relay is allowing me to know exactly when you've activated this transmission," Obi-Wan told him with frosty pride, "So, while you're watching this communication, I, who am still very much alive, thank you, am forwarding all the contents of Pyrite's database to the authorities and business bureau."

    The boy gave an evil smile and Max's blood ran cold. He was what?!?

    "JAILER!!!" The sound of the running footsteps was growing closer, but still not fast enough.

    "Right now, the authorities have in their possession h
  21. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    OoOOoOooOOoooo.. evil Obi! I likee!!

    [This message has been edited by Eryce (edited 05-23-2000).]
  22. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    WOW WOW WOW!!!! YOU GO OBI-WAN KENOBI!
    That was awesome Lwyn'nya!! Just perfect ending!
  23. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Way to go Obi. That didn't quite seem the Jedi thing to do, but I liked it, I liked it!!!! Sorry to see this end, buy your new story seems very promising.

  24. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hahaha! That was awesome!
    Thanks for the wonderful story! I enjoyed it immensely.
  25. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
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