Beyond - Legends Alone (Jag Fel)

Title: Alone
Author(s): Killik_Twilight
Timeframe: After The Swarm War
Characters: Jagged Fel
Genre: Angst
Keywords: Vignette
Summary: Jag Fel is alone in the universe
Notes: I?m feeling particularly angsty. Can?t you tell?

Alone

Jag Fel was alone.

He sat on his bunk cross-legged, sitting meditatively ? but he was hardly meditating.

A torrent of thoughts whirled through his mind ? memories of love, of war, of death, of life. His time as a child in his parents? home, his training at the Rata nebula academy, the war against the Yuuzhan Vong, his brother Chak?s death?

One thing that crossed his mind more often than not, though, was Jaina Solo ? or, rather, her betrayal of him.

Jag supposed he shouldn?t have been too surprised that she would eventually turn on him ? she was a Joiner, and a Jedi! and most of all, she was weak.

The Jaina he had known during the war against the Yuuzhan Vong was a strong woman, certain of herself ? of her place in the universe. This new Jaina? he wouldn?t have recognized her if she hadn?t been with her brother.

To tell the truth, he hated her. They could have shared so much together? and she threw it all away because she wasn?t ready. She couldn?t commit to him.

His mouth dropped in disgust. Commitment was the most important thing in his life ? his commitment to his family, to the Chiss, to the men and women under his command ?

As he continued reflecting, Jag supposed that he and Jaina would have never worked anyways ? they were too different, too far apart to ever achieve a common balance. Oh, she lit a fire in his soul ? but passion would fade ? it was commitment that would keep them together.

And then there was the small matter of the Dark Nest Crisis and the Swarm War. Jaina had participated willingly in a war against his people, and for that, any charitable inclinations towards her had been burnt out of him.

Or so he thought.

Jaina had always managed to confound and twist him ? she made him feel human, which was a liability out here in the Unknown Regions. He had decided long ago that he could not afford attachment ? and then she came along, waving aside his conceptions and ideas and drawing him out.

Jag Fel did not like to be drawn out. To be drawn out was to vulnerable, to expose oneself to pain ? and yet she had done it anyway, and he had gone along willingly.

What had she done to him?

If she had done it to him, it was only because he had allowed her to ? not because of her Force powers, or her feminine wiles ? he, in the end, was the one responsible for himself ? not her.

Logically, Jag supposed, he should hate himself more than he hated her, for being so gullible and trusting.

Even Shawnkyr had not been able to temper the fire in his soul. She was his best friend? and he had failed both of them. He had allowed Jaina and her fellow Jedi to do far too much damage to the Chiss, all because of his sentiment ? his attachment.

His love.

He hated love. It made him weak. It made him vulnerable. It made him?

?human.

No, Jag decided, it was better to be alone. Better to shield oneself from a universe that grew progressively darker and stranger, if only to preserve oneself.

Pushing all thoughts of Jaina from his mind, he left his quarters ? and a note ? in the dark.

[fin]

KT

 

I can tell you were feeling angsty .

Commitment was the most important thing in his life ? his commitment to his family, to the Chiss, to the men and women under his command

I especially liked this line. I thought it captured something very important about Jag.

Jag Fel did not like to be drawn out. To be drawn out was to vulnerable, to expose oneself to pain ? and yet she had done it anyway, and he had gone along willingly.

What had she done to him?

If she had done it to him, it was only because he had allowed her to ? not because of her Force powers, or her feminine wiles ? he, in the end, was the one responsible for himself ? not her.

Logically, Jag supposed, he should hate himself more than he hated her, for being so gullible and trusting.

I think you captured something very true here as well. It's just like Jag to blame himself for letting it all happen rather than Jaina. It shows how mature a person he is, how much integrity he has.

He hated love. It made him weak. It made him vulnerable. It made him?

?human.

Ooooh. All I can say there is ouch. Poor Jag .

As far as angsty Jags go, this one was excellent .

 

Pushing all thoughts of Jaina from his mind, he left his quarters ? and a note ? in the dark.

uh-oh...

great job! as much as i hate to see my jaggie suffer, you did a wonderful job in portraying his emotions.

 

Very, very angsty. Poor Jag.

Great work!

 

ahhhhhh another Jag, lol it was really good, and I did feel sorry for him. GREAT JOB Master!!!!

 

I like this Jag, K_T. He feels real, a little angry, a little scared, a bit more uncertain than most characterizations.

Excellent viggie!

oldj

 

Me too. Jag's life is a whole tangle of commitments ? and he does his best to honor those.

Thanks. As for Jag blaming himself, well, he does blame Jaina, but he knows she isn't the sole person responsible for this. And from my reading, integrity is important to Jag.

Indeed, poor Jag?

Thanks.

/me nods sadly.

It's not that I like to see Jag suffer, but he's only human. Thanks.

Indeed. Thank you!

Heh, yeah. Don't we all.

Thank you, Padawan!

Thanks. oldj. I based his feelings somewhat off of my own. But he's definitely uncertain ? even the most sure among us have times when we question the order of things.

KT

 

I really like this, KT!!! It's a great look into Jag, and even though it's angsty, let's face it, the guy has reason to be. Post SwW, I find it hard to buy happy Jag stories.


He hated love. It made him weak. It made him vulnerable. It made him?

?human.

Here is Jag in a nutshell. He doesn't want to be human because to be human makes him susceptible to being hurt. But he is human...and so he has to deal with the pain that comes along with it.

Loved this!

 

Great job!!!

I agree with Inara, Post Swarm War happy Jag stories are very hard to buy. If he did survive the crash, he has very little to be happy about..

FL

 

ooh, depressing, intriguing, but somehow...hopeful.

or maybe that's just me hoping

more? if there is, i'm in for the ride.

 

Thank you ? and oh yes, it's angsty, and even more yes that Jag has reason to be.

/me nods. Very, very true?

Thanks!

Oh, yeah. And who knows how badly injured he might be?

Heheheh? but hopeful? What hope? *trains lasers on it* lol just kidding.

Teehee. Maybe, maybe not.

This was intended to be a vignette, but I have several ideas of how to continue it ? and you'll notice I left a open part at the end regarding a note?

KT

 

So angsty... I loved it! I'm thinking you intended for this to be a vignette, but I think it'd turn out extremely interesting if you'd continue. Either way, it was excellent!

 

Thanks Peachy. I probably won't continue this ? more of a semi-sequel or something.

KT