Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by jmsbndgrl, Oct 26, 2005.
loved the chapter. it was so sad. will obi and ani fight each other?
Finally caught up!!!
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time!
So much hatred in this chapter- I can definitely see why this was draining to write. Great job as always- I do hope that Palpy won't be going after Padme and the twins anytime soon. I'll be waiting anxiously for your next post to see where the story continues to go.
joanne_jinn: After 106 chapters, this is no joke. Funny that you should suggest it though. One of my readers (they can reveal themselves if they want), came up with the theory that all of this was an elaborate dream Aila was having, so none of it was real. I'm pretty sure if I wrote that all of you would yell at me for making you all sit through 400+ pages of a dream. Aila is not dreaming, she and Obi-Wan are going through all this heartache. (Well at least Obi-Wan at the moment)
Star_Angel: Sidious wants Aila dead, he just has to be sneaky about it because he can't tell his new apprentice that.
WANNA-BE-JEDI-KNIGHT: Well, Anakin survived the Jedi purge and Obi-Wan is heading to Mustafar soon. I would say it is a safe bet that he and Anakin will meet again. Give me a couple chapters.
AngelQueen: Aila has not seen the attack on the Temple. If you go back a few chapters to just before Obi-Wan turned, she went to bed since it was the evening, but that should be evident next chapter.
G__Anakin: Thanks for reading.
Fat_Bird: My goal in this story was to turn Obi-Wan to the darkside, but provide detail to why he fell. I've read lots of dark Obi-Wan stories, but I know of very few that have gone into the backstory that I have. Although it breaks my heart to destroy my favorite character, I felt that if I was going to do it, he deserved to have a story detailing why he fell. I could have easily had him marry Aila and fall to the darkside the next day because of his "attachment," but that isn't fair to Obi-Wan's character. He was very strong, it took a lot to break him.
darksideyesplease: Just goes to show one should not tick off Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SKYWALKER024: Yes, Obi-Wan is blinded and he should know better, but he has been hurt by the Jedi one too many times.
EquestrianJedi07: That child will come back and haunt him. Not literally, but he will remember that for the rest of his life. It is going to crop up in the sequel.
Jaira: Not done yet, it still gets worse.
obsessedwithSW: I thought Anakin was going to return next chapter, but that is going to have to be delayed until Chapter 108. There are going to be lots of little scenes in that chapter, so it will fit well in there.
Amidala66: You can read into that quote what you want. That is all I am saying.
HandmaidenVeme: You have no idea how hard it was to write that. That is what is making the end to this so frustrating. There are very few scenes left, but they are taking me forever to write because they are burning me out.
Exxaciel: Good news is I think Naroko and Ari are safe. Obi-Wan's orders are to hint down the Jedi, but well.... that is the sequel, so I'll leave it at that.
Tatooine_Ghost: Mustafar is coming up with it and with it the final lightsaber battle of this story, so that should answer your question.
Anakin_Heartbreaker: Glad you enjoyed it.
FitJedi: This chapter took forever too, but then again I know what is going to happen.
To Everybody: Ok, I said with Chapter 68 that there would be one more PM only chapter to this story. This is it. Below is the cut version, you can request the PM version from me if you are of age. Please note that the Obi-Wan Kenobi from the previous PM chapters is not around, this is Lord Avarik Dark Lord of the Sith. It is going to be darker in tone and content (but you should be able to tell that by the cut version). You have been warned.
Chapter 107: Calming the Broken Soul
?Unlimited power!? Sidious cried out after Windu?s lifeless body collapsed at his feet, his voice echoed in the room. The hum of his and Darth Avarik?s lightsabers were the only other sound to be heard in the room, but they were drowned out by the Sith Master?s triumphant cackles.
Next to him, Darth Avarik was breathing heavily, a look of triumph slowly fading
I guess Anakin is going to have to show up and tell the entire story to Aila cuz Obi-Wan isn't budging at all.
At least in the movie Anakin told Padme where he was going and that the Jedi had turned on the Republic. But I guess Aila would know that Palpatine was evil and it would be straight out of the movies if he had said anything. Good job on Obi-Wan's part.
I liked it. can not wait for the next chapter.
You weren't kidding when you said that Obi wasn't in this post.
Excellent job!! Please send the pm version my way as I would love to compare (when you have time of course)
catches up on five chapters...oh gross! can I have the PM, pleaze?
So much anger radiating from Avarik even while with Aila in what should be a tender moment. I'm wondering how things are going to play out between Obi and Ani. Can Obi-Wan be brought back from this darkness?
Such anger... aggression... wow. I wonder what's going to happen when Anakin eventually shows up?
Great update! Thanks for the PM
Oh my, how interesting... Obi-Wan's struggling to conceal his actions and the destruction of the Jedi from Aila as long as humanly possible. He knows from the movies that revealing his intended destination to her would probably not be a good idea. Given that he probably doesn't think she'd follow him, he also probably doesn't want someone (like a surviving Jedi) to sneak into her mind and go off in search of where he's going (probably thinking of Yoda or even Anakin). Obi-Wan's being much smarter about this than Anakin was, that's for sure.
Of course, it could mean that the longer he conceals what has happened, the bigger the explosion will be once everything becomes known.
This is going to be messy, mesa thinks.
I wonder how PadmÃ©'s taking all of this. She knows that Anakin's not in the Temple, of course, but she is no doubt worried about him being out there all alone without Obi-Wan to back him up. Will she perhaps go to Aila in the hope of maybe finding something out, if only to see if Obi-Wan is still alive? Heck, PadmÃ© could very well to be the one to reveal what happened to the Temple to Aila, after Obi-Wan's left.
I also noticed that Obi-Wan was a little rough with Aila once she woke up. I doubt it was intentional, but it is definitely a clear sign that Obi-Wan's being consumed by his own anger, and it's beginning to leak into his relationship with his beloved wife. Looks like it's going to all go downhill from here... *eeps*
Really amazing job! I totally love this fic and I love being able to compare and contrast with the movies, and how Obi-Wan is learning from what the movies showed him. I suppose it's definitely a good thing that Aila didn't show him the entire story, namely the OT. He doesn't know the second half of the story, only the first half.
Now Aila being Obi-wan's goddess has taken a whole different meaning. He now sees her as his possession and that is not how love should be. When will Aila realize that her gentle warrior is no longer there?
Excellent post, and please send me the PM version!
After walking out of the Temple and seeing the death around him, he questioned his actions, and only Aila could help him figure out what was right.
Well, even if he would feel any kind of regret, which I doubt, it?s still to late.
*shivers* I still don?t like what Obi-Wan is doing, or what Avarik is doing. But then again, I never have. Oh well, this was a great update and thanks for the pm.
Oh, and I?d like to read the pm version of this chapter. Thanks.
Darth certainly isnt acting like Obi-Wan. Can you pm me the rated version? Thanks
darksideyesplease: We have to give Anakin a job to do, so yes he is going to tell Aila. Obi-Wan might be being clever, but will that help him?
Tatooine_Ghost: Hopefully the next chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day.
Amidala66: Obi-Wan can't come to the comm. system right now, but if you leave your name and number he'll make sure Lord Avarik deals with you accordingly.
palpyisgod2: Yup, Obi-Wan has lost it.
FitJedi: A very good question. Can Obi-Wan be brought back? I know the answer to that, but I can't answer it yet.
EquestrianJedi07: Anakin's arrival is only going to cause more craziness.
AngelQueen: At this point the OT would not really help Obi-Wan. He might know to better protect a certain thermal exhaust port, and he might know where the rebels will be hiding, but that is about it. The OT was how two Skywalker twins fought an Empire and their Sith father was redeemed. Obi-Wan has no children to redeem him right now, and with the future "Always in Motion," you never know hat is going to happen.
HandmaidenVeme: Poor Aila, she doesn't know what horrors I have in store for her.
Star_Angel: Obi-Wan is feeling regret, but like he is done in the past he is pushing it aside, trying to make excuses for his actions.
Jaira: It still gets worse. Are you tired of me saying that yet? Think of it this way, it has to hit rock bottom before it can get better.
obsessedwithSW: When Obi-Wan is dark, he is unrecognizable.
To Everybody: For those of you who requested the uncut it has been sent. You can still request it if you missed it or I accidentally left you off my send list. I apologize for that in advance. Just send me a reminder, I'll get it to you.
Ok, no new post tonight I haven't had a chance to proofread and edit it yet, but it was a good writing weekend. I got 6 chapters written (I'm up to 112), I just need to proofread and edit them before they are posted, but the hard part is done. Believe it or not after 6 chapters, this story still isn't finished yet, but I did get to the all important scene at the end of the Mustafar duel (Now do I end it with a cliffhanger. Because that isn't going to end exaclty as I know you all are expecting ). I would have finished the story, but we still had residual family over and we went to the movies (Casino Royale again). Oh well, I'm close.
For those of you who keep track, right now I am at 112 chapters, so as I get them edited you should see a lot of updates. I suspect there will be 114 chapters by the end of this story, but that depends on if I can get everything wrapped up and the sequel synched up to it. So I think it will be 114 chapters long, but what I thought I could write in chapter 108, had to be split into 3 chapters due to length and content. Things change, but I'll update you all if that happens.
I probably won't finish writing the story until next weekend. Today marks the end of my week's worth of vacation and I get to go face DRL tomorrow So unfortunately, the fic is not my number one priority.
Wow still a good number of updates away from being finished. Can't say I'm sad about it though, as this is currently the only story I'm reading on this site that is updated with any regularity.
Of course I've been updating my own fic once a week and reading Half Blood Prince. (Yes I finally got there and I've been reading over 100 pages a day since the middle of OOTP)
So I finally quit being lazy with Harry Potter and the 6th book moves so much faster.
But it's certainly nice to take a break from Mr. Potter and come see Obi-Wan turn to the dark side.
Of course even when this story is finished, it really isn't, now is it? lol, because then we'll have a sequel and another 114 chapters to read, i'm sure.
Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh noooooo!
Fix it Jinn! Fix it Skywalker! Fix it anyone, just fix it!!
I throughly enjoyed that post, great stuff!
creepy! You would think that Aila would sense something different with Obi-Wan/Avarik. This isn't good.
darksideyesplease: This is the story that will never end! I complained about "The Emperor's Gift, The Emperor's Curse," being too long, this story is ridiculous.
joanne_jinn: How about, fix it Aila!
Anakin_Heartbreaker: Thanks for reading.
WANNA-BE-JEDI-KNIGHT: Aila could tell that something was different about her husband, and she's going to find out soon why that is.
Chapter 108: Birth of the Empire
?Welcome Master Skywalker. Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart.? Master Yoda greeted the young Jedi after Anakin landed his starfighter in Bail Organa?s ship. The Alderaanian Senator had picked up both Jedi and was offering them shelter while they pieced together the mystery of the clones? defection.
?Master Yoda, do you know what is going on?? Anakin called out.
?Turned on the Jedi the clones have.? Master Yoda stated, his long ears drooping in mourning as he felt the ripples in the Force, indicating Jedi all over the galaxy, were losing their lives.
?How many other Jedi have managed to survive?? Anakin asked with urgency. His thoughts immediately turning to Obi-Wan, he did not know what he would tell Aila if her husband had perished. Additionally, his heart clenched with the thought of losing his friend and mentor.
Yoda?s turn was somber as he answered. ?Heard from no one, have we.? Anakin was forced to fight back a stray tear for his fallen comrades at the grim news.
Bail Organa peeked into the hangar area of his ship and gestured that the two Jedi should follow him. As they walked towards him, the Alderaanian Senator detailed what he knew. ?I saw thousands of troops attack the Jedi Temple. That?s why I went looking for Yoda.? The Senator nodded his head in respect to the diminutive Jedi before stepping aside to let his two guests enter the hall.
?Have we had any contact from the Temple?? Anakin queried.
?Received a coded retreat message, we have.? Master Yoda answered, leaning heavily on his gimmerstick as they walked down the hall.
?It requests all Jedi to return to the Temple. It says the war is over.? Organa stated.
?Well, then we must go back. If there are any stragglers, they will fall into the trap and be killed.? Silently, Anakin hoped that Obi-Wan was one of those stragglers, and had not returned to the Jedi Temple. However, Anakin?s need to go to Coruscant was not solely for the benefit of his fellow Jedi brethren. His family was there and he wanted them off the planet while this madness was occurring. He would send Aila with them if Obi-Wan could not be located, knowing his Master would have wanted her to be looked after.
?Hmm. Suggest dismantling the coded signal, do you?? Master Yoda cocked his head as he contemplated this proposal.
?Yes, Master.? Anakin voiced earnestly. He would go without the diminutive Jedi if he needed to, but he would prefer going with Yoda. ?There is too much at stake.?
Yoda nodded thoughtfully. ?I agree. And a little more knowledge might light our way.?
Organa nodded before striding briskly down the hall towards the ship?s command center. ?Captain Antilles! Set our course for Coruscant!?
Aila yawned and stretched as she awoke the next morning, sunlight peeking through the blinds of the window. As she stretched, she extended her arms outward, her right arm extending to Obi-Wan?s side of the bed. However, her hand did not connect with the arm body it wanted to, but a piece of paper that crinkled as her hand hit it.
Frowning that her husband was not around, she picked up her note and read it:
You looked so beautiful and peaceful this morning that I did not have the heart to wake you before I left on my mission. I was eager to leave so that I can finish it and return to you. It should not take long. Don?t wander too far from home, I?ll worry about you. You can go see PadmÃ© and the twins if you like, but please stay near home. We can go out when I return. Please, wait f
supsense is really buidling now!
I wonder who Anakin will go to first, Aila or Padme? Will he even tell Padme at all? She might be able to help convince Aila, but she doesn't even know where Obi-Wan is... hmmm
I have a felling the end is coming
The sequel will come soon after thought, right?
I would produce a more coherent response, but I'm studying calculus at the moment
Great update! Thanks for the PM!