Before Always [JA&TPM Viggy] Reposted, slightly revised

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Padawan_Jess_Kenobi, Mar 28, 2003.

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  1. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Title: Always
    Author: Padawan Jess Kenobi
    Rating: JA, (Obi is 14) and then it jumps to TPM. Mush/little angst.
    Summary: A promise lasts through even death
    Keyword: Repost, slightly revised
    Disclaimor: I make absolutely no money of this, but you can still sue me of you really wanna. As of now, I have a pack of gum in my pocket. That is all you get if you sue. HA!!

    I actually quite liked this fic, and I just wanted to repost it to see if I could milk anymore reviews out of this story. ;) Remember, consturctive critisicm is always appreciated, and don't be afraid to say something you think I can improve on. :)






    Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi turned his gaze to the above sky. Stars twinkled so bright that even the light from the moon could hardly outshine them. Everything was peaceful and still. The moon cast a bright yellow glow that was reflected into the lake at his feet. Silver bands of light traveled across the glassy surface, giving it depth and meaning.

    A figure made himself present behind Obi-Wan. Without turning his head, Obi-Wan identified the powerful presence to be his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan looked down into the water in front of him.

    "What do you see?" Qui-Gon asked. His voice was powerful, yet gentle.

    Obi-Wan broke of his gaze to look at Qui-Gon. "What do you mean, Master?" he asked in curiosity.

    Steady midnight blue eyes that reflected the night sky looked into Obi-Wan's own orbs of sapphire coloring.

    "Look into the water. You reflection will tell you things about yourself that you never saw before."

    Obi-Wan complied by lowering his head until his reflection was in view. A young boy of 14 was staring back out at him. Ginger hair and sapphire eyes shown. Without lifting his head he addressed his Master. "I don't understand, Master. I see only myself."

    Qui-Gon gave a small smile, "look again, Padawan," he said, "there is more."

    A gentle wind slightly rustled the still water. The wind seemed to whisper words. Look closer? look closer.

    Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes and looked harder into the reflective pool of liquid. A hand now rested on his shoulder. Qui-Gon's voice mixed with the wind, Its there? look closer... closer

    The breeze seemed stronger now, and it lifted Obi-Wan's padawan braid upwards. The light of the moon and stars combined, made a brilliant yellow glow shine on his braid.

    In contrast to his ginger hair, dark brown hair was visible through the entwined strands. The hair that made the braid, was a combination of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gojn's hair, made together into one thin line of crossed strands.

    Obi-Wan could see it now. He looked again into the water, this time truly seeing. Qui-Gon silently stepped next to him, his reflection now visible in the glossy surface.

    Now that he looked carefully, Obi-Wan noticed that his sapphire eyes had a dark blue tint to them. Obi-Wan looked along the water to the picture of his Master, then back to his own. He could see it now.

    The resemblance. Qui-Gon Jinn's features were faintly ingrained into his own youthful face. "Like Master, like padawan," Obi-Wan murmured to himself. In a louder voice he said, "What does this mean, Master?" Obi-Wan broke his attention from the surface of the glass-like material to look up at his Master.

    Qui-Gon smiled, "it means that I will always be with you. On our last mission, you doubted this."




    Obi-Wan lowered his eyes to look at the crimson scar that adorned his arm from elbow to wrist. A small token from that mission, among with many others. Obi-Wan closed his eyes in painful remembrance.


    Their last mission had been one to the hostile planet of Maaclei. Obi-Wan could recall it as clear as day. It was a war torn planet, filled with the air of malice. Everywhere you looked someone was suffering, dying? and Obi-Wan knew he could do nothing about it.

    The air was filled with such a foul stench that it had hurt to breathe it in. The ground was course and rough, bearing no comfort. Even the sky was a misty gray, and n
  2. Lurkalidth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 2
    Hi!
    This has to be one of my all-time favorite vignettes. It's just so poignant. You did an excellent job. :D
    Thanks for re-posting this.
  3. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    One of my favs as well Jess. A wonderful vingette that brings tears to your eyes.

    Bravo!
  4. SHADOW13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2003
    star 1
    Poor obi.
    Great vig though. I wish I could write like you can
  5. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Lurkalidith: This has to be one of my all-time favorite vignettes. It's just so poignant. You did an excellent job. Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm really glad that you like this! :)

    Arwen: One of my favs as well Jess. A wonderful vingette that brings tears to your eyes. :D Thank you! I have this new obsession lately, trying to make sweet stories, and making people come close to tears. [face_devil] ;)

    SHADOW13: Great vig though. I wish I could write like you can [face_shocked] [face_shocked] You do know that is the best compliment you can give an author, right? The best. Are you sure you want to give it to me? ;) Well, if your sure. *hugs* THANK YOU!! :D
  6. InTheSockOfTheNight Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2002
    star 3
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