Saga Always There (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, vignette)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Qui-Gina-Jinn, Nov 22, 2008.

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  1. Qui-Gina-Jinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2003
    star 4
    Title: Always There
    Author: Qui-Gina Jinn
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Summary: Duel of the Fates is about to end.
    Disclaimer: I own nothing, am just playing around in the sandbox.
    Author?s note: This is my second ever attempt at writing. It was actually written some time ago, but I haven?t had the courage to actually post it.




    I?m dying, Padawan.

    I can hear you fight the Sith. Now I?m certain that?s what the Zabrak is.

    The lightsaber that pierced me is flashing red through my half-closed eyes. He is good ? too good, I fear.
    I can feel your pain, disbelief and the anger that fills you. Dearest Padawan, don?t let the anger consume you!
    Control it.
    I can feel the ferocity of you attacks and the immense hatred from the Sith. You are good, Padawan, but how long can you last?

    I?m proud of you, of all that you have accomplished. I love you, my apprentice, my friend, my son. Do you know that?

    I hear my lightsaber clattering to the floor as you drop down beside me. Oh, Padawan, I hear the desperation and disbelief in your voice as you try to deny what?s happening.

    There?s so much I want to say to you, so much left to share and yet what I hear myself talking about, trying to convince you about, is Anakin.

    I can hardly speak now. My breathing has become ragged and erratic. I want to say so much more to you, let you know what my heart feels, but my voice won?t obey me.

    The bright light of the Force is beckoning to me, it craves me now. I can no longer resist it.
    Fear not, my beloved apprentice ? we will meet again?


    ~~~~
    Years later:


    Obi-Wan was sitting cross legged on the sandy floor in his small Tatooine cabin.
    Anakin had been right he realised ? it really did get everywhere.

    He quickly banished the thought. The memories of Anakin were too painful.

    Where had he failed? What was it he had said or failed to say? Could he have prevented his former Padawan?s fall to the dark side? He sighed deeply, closing his eyes against the pain of loss and despair soaring through him.
    ?Anakin, my brother, why?? he whispered.
    ?Why couldn?t I see? Why didn?t you tell me??
    He took a deep breath, as he felt a pricking in the eyes.

    ?It?s ok to cry, little one.?
    Obi-Wan?s eyes flew open. He didn?t believe his ears, but they had not deceived him.

    There, right in front of him, stood the spectral form of Qui-Gon Jinn.

    He looked exactly as Obi-Wan remembered him, from the beard and long hair to the long brown robe and the eyes ? those eyes in which Obi-Wan could always find comfort, trust, love and peace.
    ?Master! You- - I ? how?? He was too surprised to form a sentence.

    Qui-Gon chuckled quietly, a small smile playing on his lips?



  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    It would be nice to think that he sent all those loving thoughts
    to Obi-Wan before he died.
    An insightful look at what might have been said.:cool:
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Just lovely, a lovely piece of writing.
  4. KithuraVess Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2008
    star 4
    Wow. That was absolutely fantastic.
  5. kataja Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 4
    I loved the clip here; from Qui-Gon's last thoughts to Obi-Wan's self-reproaches - and to think his old master could help him there!
    Beautifully done too! Bravo!!!
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    A beautiful piece of work. =D=
  7. Takianna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2005
    star 3
    =D= Loved It! A great look at those two who really didn't have much time together.
  8. Obi-Waan_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2007
    star 1
    Astounding emotion. One hardly ever has the pleasure of reading such a wonderful piece centered on Qui-Gon's thoughts. Well done!

    Just one little tip - you might want to change "ferociousness" to "ferocity".
  9. I_am_Kooky Sth Aust. Chapter Representative

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2004
    star 4
  10. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    I loved the peek into Qui-Gon's mind as he lay dying, heartbreaking as it was

    :_| :_| :_|

    I'm glad he was finally able to appear to Obi-Wan at the end

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  11. Sara_Kenobi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
    That was simply wonderful, Gina. Fantastic. :)

  12. Qui-Gina-Jinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2003
    star 4
    :eek: [face_blush]

    Thank you for all those (too) nice comments!
    I didn't think it would be this well recieved...

    It really makes me all fussy to read those comments - thanks all!

    [:D]
  13. brodiew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    Wow. What an emotionally potent fic. I loved Qui-Gon's desperation to share his feelings with Obi-Wan.

    There?s so much I want to say to you, so much left to share and yet what I hear myself talking about, trying to convince you about, is Anakin.

    Awe-some. Stellar sentence.

    I was also impressed with how quickly our favorite regal Jedi returns to child-like awe when his Master again appears.

    Bravo.
  14. Arwen4CJ Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2009
    star 1
    That was very touching. These were Qui-Gon's last words to Obi-Wan
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