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Saga Always There (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, vignette)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Qui-Gina-Jinn, Nov 22, 2008.

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  1. Qui-Gina-Jinn

    Qui-Gina-Jinn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2003
    Title: Always There
    Author: Qui-Gina Jinn
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Summary: Duel of the Fates is about to end.
    Disclaimer: I own nothing, am just playing around in the sandbox.
    Author?s note: This is my second ever attempt at writing. It was actually written some time ago, but I haven?t had the courage to actually post it.

    I?m dying, Padawan.

    I can hear you fight the Sith. Now I?m certain that?s what the Zabrak is.

    The lightsaber that pierced me is flashing red through my half-closed eyes. He is good ? too good, I fear.
    I can feel your pain, disbelief and the anger that fills you. Dearest Padawan, don?t let the anger consume you!
    Control it.
    I can feel the ferocity of you attacks and the immense hatred from the Sith. You are good, Padawan, but how long can you last?

    I?m proud of you, of all that you have accomplished. I love you, my apprentice, my friend, my son. Do you know that?

    I hear my lightsaber clattering to the floor as you drop down beside me. Oh, Padawan, I hear the desperation and disbelief in your voice as you try to deny what?s happening.

    There?s so much I want to say to you, so much left to share and yet what I hear myself talking about, trying to convince you about, is Anakin.

    I can hardly speak now. My breathing has become ragged and erratic. I want to say so much more to you, let you know what my heart feels, but my voice won?t obey me.

    The bright light of the Force is beckoning to me, it craves me now. I can no longer resist it.
    Fear not, my beloved apprentice ? we will meet again?

    Years later:

    Obi-Wan was sitting cross legged on the sandy floor in his small Tatooine cabin.
    Anakin had been right he realised ? it really did get everywhere.

    He quickly banished the thought. The memories of Anakin were too painful.

    Where had he failed? What was it he had said or failed to say? Could he have prevented his former Padawan?s fall to the dark side? He sighed deeply, closing his eyes against the pain of loss and despair soaring through him.
    ?Anakin, my brother, why?? he whispered.
    ?Why couldn?t I see? Why didn?t you tell me??
    He took a deep breath, as he felt a pricking in the eyes.

    ?It?s ok to cry, little one.?
    Obi-Wan?s eyes flew open. He didn?t believe his ears, but they had not deceived him.

    There, right in front of him, stood the spectral form of Qui-Gon Jinn.

    He looked exactly as Obi-Wan remembered him, from the beard and long hair to the long brown robe and the eyes ? those eyes in which Obi-Wan could always find comfort, trust, love and peace.
    ?Master! You- - I ? how?? He was too surprised to form a sentence.

    Qui-Gon chuckled quietly, a small smile playing on his lips?

  2. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    It would be nice to think that he sent all those loving thoughts
    to Obi-Wan before he died.
    An insightful look at what might have been said.:cool:
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Just lovely, a lovely piece of writing.
  4. KithuraVess

    KithuraVess Jedi Knight star 4

    Nov 19, 2008
    Wow. That was absolutely fantastic.
  5. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    I loved the clip here; from Qui-Gon's last thoughts to Obi-Wan's self-reproaches - and to think his old master could help him there!
    Beautifully done too! Bravo!!!
  6. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    A beautiful piece of work. =D=
  7. Takianna

    Takianna Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 22, 2005
    =D= Loved It! A great look at those two who really didn't have much time together.
  8. Obi-Waan_Kenobi

    Obi-Waan_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 14, 2007
    Astounding emotion. One hardly ever has the pleasure of reading such a wonderful piece centered on Qui-Gon's thoughts. Well done!

    Just one little tip - you might want to change "ferociousness" to "ferocity".
  9. I_am_Kooky

    I_am_Kooky Sth Aust. Chapter Representative star 4

    Jun 28, 2004
  10. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    I loved the peek into Qui-Gon's mind as he lay dying, heartbreaking as it was

    :_| :_| :_|

    I'm glad he was finally able to appear to Obi-Wan at the end

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  11. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Sep 21, 2000
    That was simply wonderful, Gina. Fantastic. :)

  12. Qui-Gina-Jinn

    Qui-Gina-Jinn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 2, 2003
    :eek: [face_blush]

    Thank you for all those (too) nice comments!
    I didn't think it would be this well recieved...

    It really makes me all fussy to read those comments - thanks all!

  13. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 11, 2005
    Wow. What an emotionally potent fic. I loved Qui-Gon's desperation to share his feelings with Obi-Wan.

    There?s so much I want to say to you, so much left to share and yet what I hear myself talking about, trying to convince you about, is Anakin.

    Awe-some. Stellar sentence.

    I was also impressed with how quickly our favorite regal Jedi returns to child-like awe when his Master again appears.

  14. Arwen4CJ

    Arwen4CJ Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 20, 2009
    That was very touching. These were Qui-Gon's last words to Obi-Wan
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