Beyond - Legends Am I Allana or Amelia? - Completed 10/10

Title: Am I Allana or Amelia?
Author(s): FelsGoddess
Timeframe: Post- LOTF and on-going
Characters: Allana Solo, Han, Leia, Jaina, Tenel Ka, etc.
Genre: Diary
Keywords: Allana's diary
Summary: Allana's private diary a few months after Legacy of the Force Invincible and onward. Explores her thoughts regarding Jacen, Tenel Ka, other family members and galactic events.


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Grandma Leia gave me this datapad so I can write down how I?m feeling. She says it?ll make me feel better.

My name is Allana, datapad, around a few people and Amelia to everyone else. My mommy is Queen Mother of Hapes and my daddy is dead.

My daddy was a bad, bad man. Aunt Jaina said he was a Sith Lord. He didn?t used to be bad. He used to come and visit me and mommy and play with me. I don?t know everything he did, but I know more than the adults think I do. I know he killed Mara.

I don?t understand how it happened. He was really nice. It makes me sad to think about him.
I?m on Grandpa Han?s ship right now. Next week is my birthday. I get to spend it on Hapes with my mommy. I wish I still had long red hair like my mommy. Grandma Leia had to cut it off and dye it black so I look different.

I?m supposed to be going to sleep, datapad. Grandma Leia and Grandpa Han told me goodnight. Aunt Jaina will coming in here to sleep soon. If I listen really hard, I can hear her and grandpa arguing about the Falcon. They always do that.

Uncle Luke and Ben are coming, too. I think it?s suppose to be a Jedi thing, too. I?m not sure. Me coming is a big secret to everyone. I?m supposed to be dead.

I?m a lot of people. That?s a lot for a six year old. I?ll be seven soon, though.

I can hear Aunt Jaina coming. I better turn this off. Goodnight, datapad.

 

Aww, that's really sweet!! She sounds like a real little kid. Great start!!

If you have a PM list, please add me

 

What a truly wonderful idea for a story. If anyone needs to keep a journal to sort out their feelings it's Allana. That poor little girl has been through so much in such a short time.

Can't wait to see where you bring this. Add me to your PM list if you start one.

 

Great post, great idea! I would love to read more, if you could please PM me when you update, that would be awesome

 

Very unique POV. And authentically writing by a six year old.

Goodbye, datapad.

Nice touch.

Interested to see where this goes. PM list?

 

Hi: Great story. I have a fondness for diaries written from a youngling's POV. i'm ignoring the aspects relating to Mara but the rest works especially the J&J and H&L being their unchanging selves LOL

PM list please?

 

My mommy is Queen Mother of Hapes and my daddy is dead.

Little kids can be so poignant without meaning to. Great job. I almost wish you'd made this one a Dear Diary entry, just so we could be assured of it going on for awhile.

 

NYCitygurl Will do. Thanks!

KaileneWill do. Thanks!

tahiriveilax Sure thing. Thanks!

madman007 Sure thing. I'll go with the excuse that I've worked with kids for years so I can sound like a six-year-old, not that I still have the mindset of one at times. Thanks for reading!

Jade_eyes Glad you enjoyed. Sure. Thanks!

Lady_Tahiri I wanted to make it an entry, but I missed the first post deadline. Thanks!

PM List
NYCitygurl
Kailene
tahiriveilax
madman007
Jade_eyes

Just as a side note, I know there are some grammar errors in the posts. I put them there intentionally. I'm going to assume, royalty regardless, that Allana still has the grammar of a normal child.

And onto the post...

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Today is my birthday. I?m 7.

Mommy gave me a party with all my family. I wish Grandpa Isolder was here. I don?t know how he died, but I think Daddy did it. Mommy says he died a hero. Some other people in my family are dead, too. They died when I was supposed to.

I have to stay hidden in the deep rooms of the palace so nobody sees me.

It?s stupid.

I love being here with Mommy, but I can?t go anywhere, datapad. I have to stay in a couple rooms so no one sees me for too long. Grandma Leia, Grandpa Han and Mommy argued a long time about if I could even see Mommy on my birthday. Uncle Luke said he?d say it was Jedi meeting. The Jedi kids are still in the Hapes Cluster. I wonder if they?ll stay here. I hope so. When I learn to be a Jedi, I want to stay near Mommy.

I got some neat stuff for my birthday. Aunt Jaina gave me some photocube thing that only shows pictures when I touch it. She said so I can have pictures of Mommy and Hapes on it. It must have cost a lot of credits cause Grandpa Han said something about the Sword of the Jedi isn?t paid that much.

I wish I knew what that was. Nobody will tell me what the Sword of the Jedi means, datapad. Does it mean Aunt Jaina has a special job? Is she really good with her lightsaber?

Aunt Jaina said that it was from Jag, too. Grandpa Han started to say something, but Grandma Leia stepped on his foot to make him be quiet. She does that a lot. I wonder if Grandpa Han has any broken toes.

Grandma and Grandpa gave me some bookchips and hair combs. I hate my short hair. I think Grandma Leia was trying to make me feel better. I do, but I still want my long hair. Mommy used to braid it every morning after she braided hers.

Uncle Luke and Ben gave me stuff from Hapes. Mommy gave me her mommy?s first hunting knife and some of her stuff.

I bet Grandma Leia won?t let me play with it, datapad. She?s weird like that.

The best part of my birthday has been staying with Mommy. She?s meeting with some important person right now, then she?s going to come tell me a story before bed. I can?t wait. I don?t want to leave, datapad, but we have to. We have to leave in three days.

I get to spend all day with Mommy tomorrow. Everyone else is going to check on the Jedi. I think Ben really wants to leave. He keeps turning red when some of Mommy?s cousins talk to him. Grandpa Han and Aunt Jaina keep making fun of him for it. I wonder what Taryn says to him that makes him turn red. It?s probably really gross, like when Grandma Leia and Grandpa Han kiss each other a lot.

I hear Mommy coming! Goodnight, datapad.

 

Very good entry. And so authentic. Your exposure with children really helps the writing for this. Didn't mean to say you sound like a six...er, seven year old. But don't all Star Wars fans still have that little kid inside of them?

Nobody will tell me what the Sword of the Jedi means, datapad. Does it mean Aunt Jaina has a special job? Is she really good with her lightsaber?

Very insightful for such a young one. I don't even think Jaina ever knew what it meant.

Aunt Jaina said that it was from Jag, too. Grandpa Han started to say something, but Grandma Leia stepped on his foot to make him be quiet. She does that a lot. I wonder if Grandpa Han has any broken toes.

That was funny! Always simple observations from children.

I think Ben really wants to leave. He keeps turning red when some of Mommy?s cousins talk to him. Grandpa Han and Aunt Jaina keep making fun of him for it. I wonder what Taryn says to him that makes him turn red.

Look at Ben gettin' the Hapan ladies' attention. Unfortunately, that will be something Grandma Leia will explain to the girl MUCH later in her years!

Excellent job. Keep it up!

 

Sweet update. Great gifts and glad she got some time with her mom. And Han better not say anything about Jag.

Squee!

 

Today is my birthday. I?m 7.

Mommy gave me a party with all my family. I wish Grandpa Isolder was here. I don?t know how he died, but I think Daddy did it. Mommy says he died a hero. Some other people in my family are dead, too. They died when I was supposed to.

Happy Birthday Amelia.. or Allana? I'm still confused about that! That last part about people dying when she was supposed to was very moving. For a 7 year old to say that, and say it so bluntly, just shows why I love children. They're amazing.

I got some neat stuff for my birthday. Aunt Jaina gave me some photocube thing that only shows pictures when I touch it. She said so I can have pictures of Mommy and Hapes on it. It must have cost a lot of credits cause Grandpa Han said something about the Sword of the Jedi isn?t paid that much.

Great gift from Jaina! And you can tell by this that children pick up on everything.

The best part of my birthday has been staying with Mommy. She?s meeting with some important person right now, then she?s going to come tell me a story before bed. I can?t wait. I don?t want to leave, datapad, but we have to. We have to leave in three days.

Ahh. Even though I know it's a story, my heart still aches. Children have that effect

I get to spend all day with Mommy tomorrow. Everyone else is going to check on the Jedi. I think Ben really wants to leave. He keeps turning red when some of Mommy?s cousins talk to him. Grandpa Han and Aunt Jaina keep making fun of him for it. I wonder what Taryn says to him that makes him turn red. It?s probably really gross, like when Grandma Leia and Grandpa Han kiss each other a lot.

Ben, the ladies man If Hapan chicks are falling all over him, he must be good looking


Great post, FelGoddess

 

Wonderful update!!

You've made her observations and thoughts so real. Children see and hear everything, and understand so much more than parents realize. And her thoughts on Jaina being "Sword of the Jedi", pulled at my heartstrings. I don't envy the person who will have to explain just what that entailed to her.

The gifts were great, I especially liked the cube that she received from J&J. So thoughtful. And her noticing Ben with the Hapan ladies.ks Grandma Leia definetly is going to have her hands full.

 

This is just too cute. Could you put me on the PM list?

 

Oh, that's so cute!! I love the way she sees other people - Leia stepping on Han's toes, Ben being embarrassed about Taryn. Love it!

 

madman007 I wonder if the authors even know what it means. I got my inspiration for the bit about Ben from the way his character is written in Fate of the Jedi. There was on particular part in one of the books when he gets annoyed at Luke for mussing up his hair. Thanks for reading!

Jade_eyes Glad you are enjoying it. Thanks for reading!

tahiriveilax This next post will explain more. I love that about children, too. They tend to just say it flat out. Thanks for reading!

Kailene Thanks so much! I am trying to portray her as intelligent but still childlike. Grandma Leia really is.

Alexis_Wingstar Will do. Thanks for reading!

NYCitygurl Thanks! I'm glad you are enjoying it. I thought Taryn and Trista were hilarious in Invincible. I just had to include one of them.


Updating this earlier than I had planned. I was stuck on the BMV for a while and got bored. Lucky for me I remembered my iPod to type this up.

This post is mostly explanation about the events of the Legacy of the Force series.
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I'm on the Falcon, leaving Hapes. I told mommy goodbye in her room. She couldn't walk me to the ship. People can't see her say goodbye to some orphan that she isn?t suppose to care about.

I guess I should explain a few things to you, datapad. I bet you?re confused.

My Mommy is the queen mother of the Hapes Cluster. My Daddy was Jacen solo. He was a Jedi that went bad. I didn't know he was my daddy until he kidnapped me. He used to visit us a lot. He gave me a stuffed tauntaun once.

Daddy fought in a war. This is where I get confused. During a big fight, I could hear Daddy in my head telling me and Mommy to be careful. The Imperial Moffs made a nanovirus, whatever that is, from Grandpa Isolder to kill us. Mommy lied and said it killed me. She asked Grandpa Han and Grandma Leia to take care of me under the name Amelia. Hapes people like to try to kill royalty.

I have to pretend that Grandpa Han and Grandma Leia are my parents around almost everyone or in public. It's stupid. I had to get my pretty red hair cut short and dyed black.

Do you understand, datapad?

The Moffs that tried to kill me didn't get in trouble. At least, not with Mommy. Jag got put in charge of them. They must act like babies cause Aunt Jaina always tells Grandma Leia That Jag says he's a babysitter.

I think they should get in trouble. I got in trouble for lying to Mommy once. Trying to kill people is a lot worse than that.

I guess that's why Grandpa Isolder died. I have a lot of dead people in my family, datapad. My Mommy's parents, Grandpa Han's friend Chewbacca, Uncle Anakin, my Daddy and Mara. I wish I had met everyone. They all sound really neat.

Aunt Jaina took a StealthX from the Jedi base at the Mists. She said she had to go take care of some stuff. I'm not sure where we are going yet. I hope it's something fun. Sitting around thinking about mommy makes me sad.

Mommy and I did lots of fun stuff together. I wish I didn't have to leave her. Her job makes her sad sometimes, I think. I hope it's not always sad. I have to do it someday. She told me she became Queen because her Mommy died. I hope my Mommy doesn?t have to die.

Grandma Leia is calling me, datapad. I have to go. Goodbye.

 

I guess that's why Grandpa Isolder died. I have a lot of dead people in my family, datapad. My Mommy's parents, Grandpa Han's friend Chewbacca, Uncle Anakin, my Daddy and Mara. I wish I had met everyone. They all sound really neat.

In a world without the brainless in profic you could have met them, Allana. They were all neat if they were written correctly! My anger at all those unnecessary deaths has been renewed.

Good update, yet sad.

 

I second madman's a hundred fold. Especially when it comes to Anakin and Mara! It's absolutely beyond illogical.

 

^^^ What they said.

at Jag the babysitter. Wonder where Jaina's off to with that StealthX?

 

I agree with Madman. Especially about Anakin..

Great update

 

I have to pretend that Grandpa Han and Grandma Leia are my parents around almost everyone or in public. It's stupid. I had to get my pretty red hair cut short and dyed black.

...and:

Sitting around thinking about mommy makes me sad.

Mommy and I did lots of fun stuff together. I wish I didn't have to leave her. Her job makes her sad sometimes, I think. I hope it's not always sad. I have to do it someday. She told me she became Queen because her Mommy died. I hope my Mommy doesn?t have to die.

Aw, poor Allana/Amelia.


The Moffs that tried to kill me didn't get in trouble. At least, not with Mommy. Jag got put in charge of them. They must act like babies cause Aunt Jaina always tells Grandma Leia That Jag says he's a babysitter.

I think they should get in trouble. I got in trouble for lying to Mommy once. Trying to kill people is a lot worse than that.

Out of the mouths of babes. Yeah, life doesn't make too much sense.

 

That absolutely breaks my heart. Poor Allana!!

 

madman007 I'm convinced that the authors just off characters for fun. Thanks for reading!

Jade_eyes I still don't understand why Mara was seen as a sacrifice. Thanks for reading!

Lady_Tahiri Probably off doing something Allana doesn't need to know about for several years. Thanks for reading!

tahiriveilax Anakin was so sad. It still bring tears to my eyes when I read SbS. Thanks for reading!

Alexis_Wingstar I feel so bad for her. No, life sure doesn't. Wish it did. Thanks for reading.

NYCitygurl Thanks for reading!

____
Good evening, datapad. I really need to write in you tonight. It?s been a sad day.

I?m sorry for not writing in you the past couple weeks. We went to visit Uncle Lando and Aunt Tendra for a couple weeks. Uncle Lando tried to teach me Sabacc but Grandma Leia stopped him. I guess she doesn?t know Aunt Jaina already taught me the basics.

It all started this morning. I got up and went into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Grandpa Han had a bowl of cereal out for me. He was standing by the sink. His eyes were red. I think he had been crying. Grandma Leia wasn?t at the table like she usually was. He told me good morning, but was quiet while I ate.

I went to my lessons with 3PO as usual. Today we went over history, mathematics and Basic. It was so boring. I like hearing about some history, but when 3PO tells it, it?s so boring. I?ve heard Uncle Luke, Grandpa Han, Grandma Leia and Wedge Antilles tell me about the first Death Star fight. It?s much more exciting when Grandpa Han and Wedge tell it than anyone else. 3PO tells me all these stupid details that don?t seem to matter. Right now, we are reading about the fall of the Old Republic and the Clone Wars.

After that, I ate lunch. Grandma Leia was there. I know she was crying. Her cheeks were still wet. I gave her a hug. I don?t know if it helped. She still seemed sad. I wanted to know what was going on, but something told me not to ask, datapad.

We went to the Jedi Temple so I can practice with Uncle Luke. Sometimes I work with kids my own age. It?s safer for me to work with Uncle Luke. The less people I?m around who know my mommy, the better. Mommy taught me how to put up mental shields a long time ago to keep people out.

Uncle Luke was sad, too, but he still worked with me on levitation. He wasn?t doing a very good job. He kept staring off into space. I finally got sick of it and asked him what was going on.

Today is my Daddy and Aunt Jaina?s birthday.

I?m really glad I didn?t ask Grandma Leia or Grandpa Han.

Awhile ago, on Uncle Anakin?s birthday, everybody was really sad, too. It was different than this. We all had dinner together. Everybody was sad, but they still talked about Anakin. No one has said anything about my daddy all day.

I don?t understand, datapad. Nobody talks about my daddy. I?ve seen a few holos of him that mommy had and some of grandma and grandpa?s but that?s it. I think I?ve only heard his name said three times after he died. One time was right after the battle, one was on the news before Uncle Luke changed it and another was at a restaurant where Grandpa Han and Jag almost got arrested.

I bet you?d like to hear that story, datapad.

Me, Grandma Leia, Grandpa Han, Aunt Jaina, Jag, Uncle Luke, Ben, Aunt Tendra, Uncle Lando and Chance were at a restaurant eating lunch. I was pretending to be Amelia. Some big, ugly guy walked up to our table and called Aunt Jaina a murderer. He started to go after her, but Jag and Grandpa Han jumped up and yelled at him, and then knocked him down. Some of the guy?s friend joined in. Grandma Leia grabbed me and covered my ears so I couldn?t hear what they were saying. Tendra was doing that to Chance. Uncle Luke and Uncle Lando broke up the fight. Some law enforcement people came and tried to arrest everyone, but Uncle Luke had a chat with the officer to keep them out of jail.

It?s really funny when Uncle Luke has chats with people. They get really scared for some reason. I don?t know why. Uncle Luke is really nice. He didn

 

How hard it must be for everyone to grapple with all the unanswerable questions and the loss.

 

at Jaina teaching Allana sabaac.

at it being Jacen and Jaina's birthday. I liked how they all had a family dinner on Anakin's birthday though. And the Daddy/Caedus dichotomy. Poor Allana.

 

3PO tells me all these stupid details that don?t seem to matter.

Ain't that the truth! Poor Threepio.


It?s really funny when Uncle Luke has chats with people. They get really scared for some reason. I don?t know why. Uncle Luke is really nice. He didn?t hold up his lightsaber or a blaster. That?s what Grandpa Han does. He shows people he?s mad at his blaster.

Maybe they remember who Luke's father was. That could be a mite intimidating!


What if Aunt Jaina did kill my daddy? Does that mean she?s bad, too?

Such a fair question. And one that was never addressed before.

This still borders on the cute way you have Allana speak versus the serious nature of her legitimate questions that no adult wants to answer. Allana will eventually form her own answers and become a wise woman in the process.

And why didn't we think of this before? If we really want a redo of the series from NJO, why not let a child write it?! [ENTER PROFIC JOKE HERE]





Just a side note, and I don't usually plug my own stories, but what Allana said about Jacen being two people is close to what I wrote in my Mary Jane Skyler epic. Of course, that part is the third in the trilogy. It's basically what should have happened to Mara...with a little side trip to Earth.