Saga Anakin's diary AU/HUMOR: Anakin/Obi/Palpatine/Dooku/OC's: It's Back!! Updated 6-24-2009

Title :Anakin's diary
Author: hyperspace_police
Characters: Anakin/Obi-Wan/Dooku/Palpatine/and the OC's Kynstar and Sam.
Timeframe: During the Prequels, basically after The Phantom Menace...
Genre: Humor
Summary: Anakin's thoughts during the gaps between the prequels (and possible during the prequels...). Part of a series of diaries that cover the same events. The versions of Obi-Wan, Count Dooku, and Chancellor Palpatine can also be found via the links in my bio. This is an attempt at humor. I hope you find it amusing and enjoy reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars characters. I just like to play in the Sandbox of Mr.Lucas. I do own Sam since she's loosely based on myself and Kynstar owns Kynstar which is based on her Dooku loving alter ego.

Enjoy!


Anakin?s take on events that coincide with Obi?s diary.

Hope it?s enjoyable...


Master Windu told me that I should keep a journal, or diary about my new life here at the temple. And I have decided that it was good advice. Besides, Master Obi-Wan has one. I see him using it almost every evening.

I wish that Qui-Gon was still here. He was much more laid back than Obi-Wan is. I just don?t understand Obi-Wan. I am grateful that he is taking care of me. But, he?s really confusing.

One minute he?s just fine and he tells me to make myself at home and help myself to anything in his quarters and the next he?s yelling at me for eating...(I?m just hungry, I am a growing boy...surely he knows this) and sometimes he just sits in his room and cries.

Is this what it?s like to be a Jedi? I don?t see Master Windu cry...not even when Yoda hits him on the shin with that kriffing stick of his. (That little guy is lethal with that thing.)

I just hope that Master Obi-Wan likes me. I know that he?s a Jedi and that means he has to be nice to everybody. But, I just hope that his problems are not with me.

I have made some friends here and Master Yoda lets me work on droids and stuff. Just the other day, he had me help him get his hover chair to go faster so he could chase Master Windu.

But, I just want to see Obi-Wan happy again like he was when I first met him. I really like him when he?s not moping around. He has a really great sense of humor and he?s really smart and knows all these neat places to eat in the lower parts of the city.

Those are my favorite parts. It feels more like home down there.

Well, I talked about Obi with Master Windu and he suggested that I try and do something to cheer Obi up. He suggested some jokes...So; tonight I?m going to try one of them out.

Master Windu says to wait until Obi is asleep and then put whipped cream on his hand. Then I?m supposed to tickle his face with a feather and he?ll smack himself in the face with the whipped cream. I don?t really see how that is supposed to make him happy.

But, I?m no Master and I?m not from a big city or anything so I?m going to try in tonight.

I like this whole journal thing. I feel better. I hope that someday Obi-Wan will see me as a good padawan and come to accept me. I look up to him. He?s like the father I never had....

 

Oh NO! That's not gonna help Anakin to get Obi to stop calling him a brat! Nope nope nope...

 

Oh dear...the ole cream in the face trick! But poor kid... Mace that was an awful trick to have Anakin do! Guess it shows that deep down Mace doesn't trust the boy. Sorry couldn't help with that bit!

Glad to see this one started Wow girl you have 4 diaries going on now!

 

Kynstar and Jaria
Thanks for reading...Hope I'm at least making you chuckle a little

Here's a little more Ani:

Well, it's been a couple of days since I put anything in here. I'm beginning to wonder about Master Windu...I think he might just like to see Obi-Wan get upset. He said something aboout how Obi-Wan used to do these things to him, you know, when he was a padawan.

And I don't understand Master Obi-Wan, he told me to try and make friends. So, when a couple of guys said, "Hey, we're going to go and clean the fountains"...I went along...I'm not exactly popular. A lot of the other padawans are jealous because I never had to wait to get picked by a Master.

Well, they can have mine. He's moody. They wouldn't want to be the padawan of Obi-Wan Ke-mood-swing....I hope he never hears me call him that...But, I have heard HIM call Master Yoda a troll. Personally, I like Yaddle. She's so cool and she's way more fun than Yoda.

And the stories she can tell, they're great. Anyway, now I have met Obi-Wan's friend Siri. She's really nice, but she doesn't dress like the rest of the Jedi, no robes and she likes color...Not so much brown. I mean, I come from a kriffin' sand planet and get taken to the biggest city in the galaxy in the company of a beautiful queen who wears all sorts of color and what do the stinkin' Jedi give me?

More brown. Brown underwear, brown under tunic, brown tunic, brown pants, brown boots, brown belt, brown robe...Brown brown brown...everywhere I look is brown....It's more than I can stand.....

I mean at least Master Yoda gets to have yellow skin...If it's skin in his species...I wonder what kind of species Yoda is anyway, I've asked around and nobody seems to know exactly...Weird...

Anyway, I was sitting there the other day, eating some ice cream, banana flavor...And Obi comes in and just looses it. Then the next day he says he's going to go talk to his friend Siri, and I think great...Somebody that can help him straighten out...

But, he was even more upset then. I decided that Obi was getting scarry and so I went to see this Siri person. Then Obi found me there...And I never knew he had a temper. Usually he is so reserved. Siri let me spend the night on her sofa. And it was a really nice sofa. Ours is lumpy but, Obi says we can't get a new one becasuse the one we have is the one Qui-Gon picked out.

Oh well, Siri says that he's just going through a very tough time and that it's not my fault and that he'll get better. I hope so. I think it would be cool if Obi was more like Master Windu. He's so cool and that man knows a little something about color.

 

Shame on Windu, he knows that Obi-Wan won't like that!

Is this what it?s like to be a Jedi? I don?t see Master Windu cry...not even when Yoda hits him on the shin with that kriffing stick of his. (That little guy is lethal with that thing.)

Yes, everybody knows Yoda's gimer stick is lethal!

Aww, Anakin just wants Obi-Wan to accept him, although I think after the cream trick he will be forever known as brat, I mean boy!

Edit: ARRRGGH! You posted an update while I was typing my reply... well, I'll just say that it was funny too...poor Ani and BROWN!

Yes, Windu does know a thing about color...

 

Brown underwear? Oh dear.

 

Ewww I gotta agree with Jaira there about the underwear...unless it's leopard print!

Poor kid... juz trying to have some ice cream...he didn't realize it was Obi's fave Chunky Monkey!

 

Is this what it?s like to be a Jedi? I don?t see Master Windu cry...not even when Yoda hits him on the shin with that kriffing stick of his. (That little guy is lethal with that thing.)

 

Lovely - very funny, but very sweet too.

I love Mace and Yoda in this! I can believe Yoda's antics, but Mace... I thought he knew better! Hilarious!

 

Ludo_Kresh
But Mace thinks it's funny...I always pictured him as the Temple prankster...Him and Obi...

Jaira
Thanks for keepin' up with me and my silliness..brown indeed

Kynstar]/b]
Leopard print...now theres a plot bunny waiting to be unleashed....

Palyp560
Lethal indeed...

NaomiOrganaSolo
Thanks for reading...Mace knows better, he just chooses to be naughty...

This catches Anakin up to where Obi is, so now they can be read as companion to one another...
Well, it?s been a bit since I put anything in here. I lost this journal and I just hope that Obi-Wan didn?t have it...Some of the things I have said would not make him happy....That or he might find out that I?m the one that creamed him...He thinks it was Master Windu.

Today I got up early...I wanted to show Obi-Wan that I could be an excellent padawan. I beat him to breakfast....Ok I have to admit that I only did it because I was going to get to show Obi-Wan what a great pilot I am.

It started off great...I was mastering every maneuver that Obi gave me. Then I remembered that Master Windu said that I should try and impress Master Obi-Wan.

So, I started with a reverse lane change and then pretended that I was pod racing. Obi was so impressed that he was speechless. I took it as an incentive to give him a little bit more.

I did a few upside down loop de loops...and a couple of dives. Obi seemed to be enjoying himself. Master Windu had told me how much Obi liked stunt flying. I assumed that I had made my masters day.

When we got back to the temple, Obi didn?t seem like he had enjoyed himself. In fact, he threw up and worse than that....He threw up in from of Siri. He seemed really embarrassed about the whole thing.

And I had no idea that I was breaking Coruscant traffic laws. We didn?t have any traffic laws on Tatooine. Oh well, at least I had some fun.

We had to go in front of the Council. First Obi and then me. Master Obi-Wan looked really upset when he came out of the council chamber...So, I was really nervous when I went in there.

Then Master Windu gave me a high five and patted me on the back and told me what a great job I had done. He said they hadn?t seen piloting skills like mine before. And told me that I would be a great pilot and asset to the Jedi Order.

They did tell me that I have to obey traffic laws, but that I gave Obi-Wan a flight he would never forget.

Now, Master Obi-Wan has given me lines. I have to write, ?I will fly like a sane person and not break traffic laws? until he tells me to stop.

Oh well, I?m hungry, so I?m going to go find something to eat.

 

He has to write lines! Oh, and Mace? Baaad Mace!

 

Anakin is hilarious. I love seeing the events from his POV. It's always the same with kids..."But I didn't know I was doing anything wrong"

 

ROFLMBO!

4 diaries? Which one am I missing?

PM when updating. Like I really need to tell you that. Right?

 

Yes, PM me too! I'm watching all these diaries too and sometimes I can't keep up with them all!

Ole Mace is getting Obi-Wan through Ani huh? I must say, this is a different take on Windu than what I'm used to!

And no wonder Obi-Wan hates flying...all those years training with the brat, I mean boy...

You should do a Yoda diary, that would be hilarious!

 

Who knew Mace Windu had such a twisted sense of humor?

Poor Obi!

Great job on this

 

Looks like you are getting quite a gathering there hyperspace_police!

Great chapter! Poor Obi...one has to feel for the guy! Mace feeding lil Anakin ideas! You oughta be ashamed Mace! But it is funny!

 

Mace had that idea??????
Wow, I might have to re-think my dislike of him.
It stems from the whole Palpy vs. Mace thing.

Anyway, that was hilarious.

 

Jaira: Is there anything worse than lines?

iLoveAnakin7: Poor kid, and kids sure do say that all the time...

Aya-Na_Bashu: PM you I will, on all of them...

Ludo_Kressh: I really see Mace as a bit of a Temple prankster...

Kelia: Twisted..Yes, just not by the darkside...

Kynstar:

Palpy560: Mace wasn't all that bad...Do you dislike him cause he tried to kill off Palpy???

Thanks to everybody for reading....

Enjoy!!!


I can't believe it...I've put my Master into the Healer's Ward. Master Yoda tried to tell me that I'm not the first Padawan to do this and he says that Master Obi-Wan put Master Qui-Gon in there plenty, but I'm still petrified by the whole thing.

I was suprised that when I went to see him, he didn't yell or anything. Actually, he laid there with at dumb grin on his face and told Siri that he was glad she was watching out for me while he was in the Healer's Ward.

Then he rambled on about how pretty Siri looked and that I looked like I had grown and that Master Yoda made really good root leaf stew...When we left, Siri said it was probably the drugs talking? The whole thing is really confusing...

Anyway, on to what happened. See, the other day, I went to visit Chancellor Palpatine. It's something I do on Tuesday's. He has a real interest in my career. He says he's grateful that I helped save his home planet of Naboo.

So, like I said, I visited the Chancelor. While I was there, he told me how I was like the most powerful Padawan he had ever seen and that the Council should realize this and he encouraged me to start proving how much more advanced I am when compared to the other padawans my age.

So, when Master Obi-Wan decided to show me the trampoline exercises, I saw my chance. I was going to impress him, no matter what. And I wasn't going to fail this time.

I took the training saber Obi gave me and watched him perform the complicated jumps and intricate swings. I was confident that I could match him. But, before I joined him, I traded the training saber for his saber that he had laid on top of his folded robe.

It went great at first. Until Master Obi-Wan realized I was on the trampoline with him...Then he sort of paniced and things got crazy.

I could see that he was going to land on me...And I realized that if he did, he would impale himself on his saber so I twisted. Now, I admit, that I overcompenstaed...I sort of cut a hole in the trampoline. I knew that Master Obi-Wan was going to probably break something when he hit the floor. BUT, that was better than impaling himself on a saber!!!

Well, he didn't agree with me on that one. He did a weird twist and before I knew it. He was impaled...Thank goodness that sabers make it where the cut doesn't bleed too badly. Then to top it off...He fell through the hole and landed on the floor with a sickening grunt.

He was unconscious. Luckily for me, Master Windu was in the training room and his quick thinking probably saved Master Obi-Wan's life. He calmed me down and we followed the Healer's back to the Healer's Ward and waited.

Master Obi-Wan was out for several days. And I got a very stern lecture about Training rooms and why we use training sabers. But, the chancelor says it was Obi-Wan's fault and he seemed almost sad that Master Obi-Wan was going to be OK.

His job must be really stressful. Oh well, I'm just glad that Obi-Wan is going to be OK.

I've got to go. Siri is here and we are going to visit Master Obi-Wan. I'm taking him some Ice Cream to cheer him up.

Oh yeah, and I've got to finish the lines Master Windu gave me: "I will only use a Training Saber in the Training Room"

I really hate lines....


Here's the link to Obi's diary, companion to this one...
Obi's diary

 

^ LOL!

Anakin, Anakin.

Palpy560: Mace wasn't all that bad...Do you dislike him cause he tried to kill off Palpy???

Yes. The whole debate just makes me go nuts with rage.


Anyway, very funny update. Anakin always listens to the wrong people.

 

No Anakin, you can't use the Force to write those lines.

Obi-Wan's on some really high powered pain killers, isn't he!?

 

But, the chancelor says it was Obi-Wan's fault and he seemed almost sad that Master Obi-Wan was going to be OK.


Poor Ani! Has no idea what Palps is all about!

I hope he doesn't spill the ice cream on him, or eat it before he gets there, boy, wouldn't that further confirm his misgivings of the brat, I mean boy...

 

I just discovered this today, awesome job! I'm happy you made one for Anakin too, because I was really wondering what his side of the story was. Figure it's all Mace's fault. Anyway, great job and I can I also be pmed for this?

 

That ice cream better be Chunky Monkey, brat...I mean, boy. You hurt Obi.

 

All of this is hilarious. Poor Anakin is being set up by everyone in this tale! I'm glad I found it. Great job! Would love a pm with the next update if you do those.

 

Poor Obi-Wan will be lucky if he survives Anakin's training.

Very funny update