Saga Anakin's Life Day Adventure - A humorous holiday tale

It's that time of year again...so I'm writing this fic to celebrate! Just so you don't get confused, it's sort of AU (nobody cares that Anakin's married), and it takes place just after AotC.

So without further ado, here's the first bit. Happy reading!

It was a cool winter day in Coruscant, but Anakin Skywalker was sweating like he was on Tattooine. Today was the big day. He was going shopping for Senator Padmé Amidala Skywalker's Life Day present.

With just a week left until the holiday, Anakin had decided it was time to hit the stores and find the perfect item for his perfect angel.

He'd told his master, Obi-Wan Kenobi that he was going to run some errands. Obi-Wan had seemed strangely relieved. Anakin was wondering why when he arrived at Coruscant Mall.

Anakin pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind as he turned his speeder into the mall's parking lot. He knew from experience that fighting in one of the Clone War battles was easier than finding a parking space.

He drove around a few times and finally spotted an empty space. So did a Twi'lek woman with three kids in an orange speeder. They both accelerated towards the spot. The Twi'lek, with maneuvers worthy of a Podrace driver, won.

After sixteen more unsuccessful tries, he Force-tricked a fat guy into giving up his claim to an empty parking space. And then the real adventure began.

"Hi there! Would you like to donate some money to the Coruscant chapter of Gamblers' Anonymous?" a woman sitting just inside the mall doors chirped.

Anakin started to say no, then changed his mind.

"Here's five credits, in memory of Qui-Gon Jinn, a man who would have benefitted from your organization," Anakin said grandly.

"Thank you very much, and Happy Life Day!" the woman said.

Anakin nodded and started to walk towards Greedo's Gifts, where he thought he might find something Padmé would like. Two steps from the door, another smiling woman stopped him.

"Hi there! Would you like to donate some money to the Coruscant Telemarketers' Support Group?" she asked.

"No thank you," Anakin said. He attempted to walk past her.

"Now, before you decide, let me tell you a bit about what we do," the woman said, blocking his path. "The C.T.S.G. is an organization run to provide-"

"Excuse me, but I think I see my girlfriend," Anakin said. "She gets so possessive sometimes. She just goes crazy if she sees me even looking at another female. And she gets so stressed out around the holidays, she sometimes forgets to take her meds, and-"

"Sorry to, uh, waste your time! Bye!" the woman said, backing off and then turning to run away.

"Happy Life Day to you, too!" Anakin yelled after her. He shook his head and went into Greedo's Gifts.

And was instantly pounced on by a young salesclerk.

"Welcome to Greedo's Gifts, sir," the clerk said. "May I help you with anything?"

"Probably not, but it's worth a try," Anakin said. "I'm looking to buy a present for a-for a woman."

"What are her interests and tastes?" the clerk asked.

Anakin thought. "Politics, bossing people around, and changing clothes," he said.

"How about this nice paperweight?" the clerk suggested. He held up a flat, polished rock. "The natural look is very popular. This one's only fifty credits."

Anakin grimaced and said, "No way."

"Or a figurine for a shelf or desk?" The clerk held up a metal object that might have been a person, but could have been a crumpled piece of paper. "This lovely piece is on sale for half-price. Thirty-five credits with tax."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Anakin said. He scanned the shelves and crossed Greedo's Gifts off his possibilities list.

"Have a nice day, sir!" the clerk called.

 

This is going to be good. It reminds me so much of shopping during the holidays. I like Anakin's force trick for a parking space. I sure there are a lot of people who wish they had that ability. I just like Anakin wonder why Obiwan was relieved to let Anakin run some errands.

I look forward to more of this when you can.


*goes turns on the active topic notification*

 

loved the line about Qui-Gon benefitting from the Gamblers Anonymous organization. Watch it ani, you'd still be fixing pit droids in Mos Espa if it weren't for gambling.

 

This is great! I like this! I'm stickin around!

 

After sixteen more unsuccessful tries, he Force-tricked a fat guy into giving up his claim to an empty parking space.

*laughing my head off* Too true!

Yeah, I'll too be sticking around!

JS

 

CrystalKenobi, let's just say Obi-Wan has a few errands of his own...

DarthIshtar, that's one of my faves, too. Well, you know what they say...it's the thought that counts!

diamond_pony2002, thanks! Glad you liked it!

Jazz_Skywalker, thanks! See you around!

Now, the update! (sorry about all the exclamation points, btw. Anyway, here's the story.)

Anakin was already tired. Shopping was hard work. He wandered aimlessly towards the next store, which happened to be a supermarket. He shrugged, grabbed a cart and started cruising the aisles. From the middle of the store came a huge crash.

"Clean-up in aisle 5," a cashier droid said over the PA system.

Loud, angry voices came from the general direction of aisle 5. Anakin turned the corner and saw Count Dooku and Darth Sidious.

"Dooku, you idiot! What kind of a moron grabs a can from the bottom of a stack?" Sidious yelled.

"It was the best one," Dooku said. "D'oh! Where'd it go?" He started digging through the cans on the floor. "I know it's here somewhere!"

Anakin snickered and left the Sith to fight it out. He put his cart back and went to the next store, Cheers.

Cheers was full of impatient people rushing around frantically grabbing things off shelves. Anakin was surprised to see a familiar face on one of the shoppers.

"Master Yoda!" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Shopping, I am," Yoda said indignantly. "Crime, is that?"

"No," Anakin said. "But I thought you were the type who did all their shopping six months early."

"Busy, I was," Yoda said defensively. "But keep your mind on your shopping, you should, Padawan Skywalker."

"Why?" Anakin asked.

"Distraction leads to bad present," Yoda said sternly. "Bad present leads to angry wife. Angry wife leads to suffering."

"Gee, look at the time!" Anakin said. "Gotta go!"

He browsed through Cheers quickly, then stood in the middle of the mall trying to decide where to go next. He was studying a directory when Dooku and Sidious walked past, still arguing. Dooku was carrying two bags from the grocery store.

"The money for all those dented cans is coming off your Life Day present," Sidious was saying.

"No! Not my present!" Dooku protested.

"You'll be eating all those lima beans too, Dooku!" Sidious said, frowning.

"Does that mean we're having lima beans for dinner, Master?" Dooku asked.

Anakin chuckled as Sidious clenched his fists and started walking fast to put as much distance between him and Dooku as he could. Dooku ran after him, bags of lima beans in hand.

That gave Anakin an idea. He ran back to the grocery store and bought a fruitcake. Then he went to the everything-for-one-credit store and bought cheap wrapping paper, a big bow, and a mushy holiday card.

His mission accomplished, he went to the next store, ILM Photography. Elan Sleazebaggano greeted him.

"Dude, you wanna buy some pictures?" Elan asked.

"No, I just want a picture frame," Anakin said.

"You just want a picture frame," Elan said. "I get it. Here, let me show you our stock."

He led Anakin to the back of the store, where the picture accessories were. A large selection of frames sat on the shelves.

Anakin looked them over and quickly made a selection. He paid for the electric blue neon frame and left for Calrissian's Books.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Anakin said to an old female salesclerk who resembled Jocasta Nu. "Do you sell calendars?"

"Of course," the salesclerk said with a sniff. "We have an extensive selection of calendars right over there."

"Thanks for your time," Anakin said. He strolled over to the calendars. Looking them over, he noticed two other customers. He smiled slyly when he saw them, and what they were looking at.

"Nice calendar," he said.

The two customers jumped three feet in the air and screamed.

"Anakin Skywalker! What are you

 

"Distraction leads to bad present," Yoda said sternly. "Bad present leads to angry wife. Angry wife leads to suffering."

And angry girlfriends, angry sisters, just angry women in general

I love the calender part. I could just imagine the guilty expressions on their faces and hiding that calendar.


I love the cliffhanger about finding out what the long story is.


The scenes with Sid and Dooku was funny also.

*adds this author to my list of ones to keep up with*

 

*pulls thread up*

There. Now do you see why Obi-Wan was glad to get rid of Anakin?

Anyways, on to the story!

"You remember back in the Naboo war?" Sabé began. "When we went to ask the Gungans to help us?"

"How could I forget?" Anakin grinned. "I'm surprised I didn't die from shock when Padmé announced she was Queen."

"I didn't say anything at the time," Sabé said. "But I was mad. I'd risked my life for her, and she just barges in and takes over. I knew I was just the decoy, but it still made me mad. As long as we've known each other, we've both been stubborn. We were always arguing over even the smallest things. Anyways, I continued as her decoy until a couple years after the war, when we
got into a big argument. I don't even remember what it was about. But I told her I'd quit. She smirked and said fine. I left the palace and I never went back. For the last ten years I've been keeping a low profile, staying away from highly-populated political places as much as possible. I wouldn't want people to mistake me for Padmé, after all." She grinned. "It could be bad for my health."

"Oh, right," Anakin said. "Wait. How did you know about the assassination attempts?"

"I do watch the news," Sabé said. She made a face. "Sometimes. Besides, it's not hard to figure out. Where there's a politician, there's controversy, and where there's controversy, there's people trying to snuff it out."

"You're starting to sound like Master Yoda," Anakin said. "But I'll admit it, you're right."

"For once in my life," Sabé said reflectively.

Anakin smiled, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, people-watching. They were laughing at a Toydarian's attempts to balance about twelve packages when Anakin spotted the two Sith.

"Shh!" he said. "Let's eavesdrop."

"-better not screw up this time," Sidious was saying sternly.

"I won't, I promise!" Dooku screeched.

"Shut up!" Sidious said. "And listen. My sources say that Senator Amidala is going to her parents' house for dinner on Life Day. She'll have Skywalker and Kenobi with her. You are going to go to Naboo and kill her. Once she's out of the way, we can take over the galaxy like we'd planned in the first place."

"OK," Dooku said. "Will we open our presents before or after?"

"Before," Sidious said, rolling his eyes. "Now what are you supposed to do on Life Day?"

"Go to Naboo and kill-oh, look! A home appliance store! I need to look at the vacuum cleaners and check out my competition!" Dooku said.

"Kill who?" Sidious asked.

"Huh? Oh, the Senator," Dooku said. "Can we look at the vacuum cleaners?"

"Fine," Sidious said. They went into the home appliance store.

"Did they just say what I think they said?" Sabé asked. Her eyes were blazing with anger.

"I think they did," Anakin said. "And I swear, they will not get away with it."

"How do we stop them?" Sabé asked. "I mean, you could warn Padmé. Or you could tell Obi-Wan or someone."

"But?" Anakin said.

"But I think it would be better to give them a nice Life Day surprise," Sabé said wickedly.

"I like it." Anakin grinned evilly, then another idea came to him. "I still need to get Padmé a present. I've been looking for something really special, but no luck. So what do you think of this..." He proceeded to outline his plan.

"Brilliant," Sabé said. "Absolutely brilliant. Let's do it."

They stood up and began Part One of Operation Life Day Gift. Arm in arm, they entered the home appliance store.

Dooku and Sidious noticed them right away. Sidious smiled tightly and nodded hello.

"Anakin Skywalker!" Dooku said. He laughed nervously. "F-F-Fancy meetin' you here."

"Hello, Dooku," Anakin said, narrowing his eyes.

"And-and S-Senator Amidala, what a nice surprise," Dooku stammered. "Well, I'd-uh, w-we'd better go! M-M-Happy Life Day!"

He started running. Sidious followed at a brisk walk.

"And a Happy New

 

Opps I think Padme saw something that did not make her happy.


I love the Sid and dooku scene that was wonderful.

I can't wait to see the plan that Anakin and Sabe come up with in action. I think Sid and Dooku are going to get a very nice present.

I love the answer machine message that was great. Just perfect.

You did a wonderful job here.

 

Thanks!

And yes, Sid and Dooku will have a really fun Christmas.

Later that night, Anakin was sprawled on the couch watching the Miss Galaxy Swimsuit Hour, eating junk food and drinking blue milk, when the 'phone beeped.

"Who's bugging me at this hour?" he grumbled. Keeping one eye on the holovision set, he thought about answering it, then decided not to.

The answering machine clicked on.

"Greetings, friend," Anakin's recorded voice told the caller. "Do you wish for eternal happiness? Then send a credit to me c/o the Jedi Temple at the sound of the beep."

"Not funny, Annie," the caller's voice said. She sounded very, very angry. "And also not funny is what Dormé told me this after-"

Anakin sat up, muted the holovision, grabbed the receiver, cursed as his snacks fell on the floor, and said, "Y'ello?"

"Cut it out, Skywalker," Padmé growled. "You think you're so smart, but you're not! Nuh-uh."

"Uh...huh?" Anakin said slowly, trying to remember any recent things he'd done to upset Padmé.

"Look, don't play innocent," she snapped. "I know what you were doing today."

"I was shopping for your Life Day present!" Anakin said indignantly, more confused than ever. "Is that a crime?"

"Oh, yeah, of course you have an excuse!" Padmé yelled. "Well, you can take your present and-and-and give it to your girlfriend!"

"Girlfriend?" Anakin frowned. "What the heck are you talking about? What girlfriend?"

"Your girlfriend at the mall!" Padmé screeched. "The brown-haired one!"

"I didn't realize you were at the mall today," Anakin said.

"You liar! You low-down, dirty-liar!" she screamed.

"Spoken by someone who's made a career out of lying, cheating, and stealing," Anakin said calmly.

"Anakin Skywalker, I hate you," Padmé said in the same calm tone. "I'm never speaking to you again."

"This is an interesting development," Anakin told the wall.

"So I hope you have a nice life-without me!" Padmé slammed down the receiver.

"Oh Force," Anakin said. "What'll I do now?"

"Oh, hello again, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, coming into the room. "Eating healthy, I see."

"Go away," Anakin said morosely.

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, seeing Anakin's glum mood.

"I ran into Sabé, Padmé's old decoy, at the mall today," Anakin said slowly. "Apparently Dormé saw us, and told Padmé, so Padmé told me she doesn't want anything to do with me ever again."

"Oh. I see," Obi-Wan said.

"And, well, that's a really bad thing, especially right now," Anakin said. His face turned pale as he considered what would happen to Padmé if he didn't talk to her before Life Day.

"Yes, it is," Obi-Wan said. "So why don't you try and explain things to her after she's had a chance to calm down?"

"It's not like her to go crazy like that in the first place," Anakin said, frowning. "I mean, that's more like something I'd do."

"The holidays are a very stressful time of year," Obi-Wan said. "She's probably just under a lot of pressure, what with everything going on."

"Yeah," Anakin said. Another plan was forming in his mind. "So if that's the case...she just needs to relax. And I know just how to do it."

"Uh-oh," Obi-Wan said. "You're getting that look on your face...that I-have-an-idea look."

"This time, I've got plans," Anakin said. He grinned wickedly. "Yeah. Plans."

"I'll leave you to work out the details, then," Obi-Wan said. He left.

Anakin grabbed the 'phone and punched in Padmé's number. Just as he expected, her machine answered. He waited impatiently until the beep.

"Padmé, it's me," he said. "Look, I'm really, really sorry for what I said. Honestly, I don't think you're a liar and all that. But I'm not either, and I swear, I don't have any girlfriends except you. I hope you won't be mad at me for long, because I have to talk to you before Life Day. I have to, Padmé, I mean it. Well, I'l

 

Taking a quick glance during a break.

this is great. Although I was wrong about it being Padme who saw him. I didn't think about Dorme. Good keep me on my toes.

I love the image of the boyfriend calling the girlfriend and vice versa over and over and then going over there to get one or the other to talk.


I also like Anakin getting her promise in writing. That was funny.

 

*Upsie daisy*

Hi amidalachick, just thought I'd chip in with my 2 cents. This story is hilarious!
I can hardly wait to read what happens next. Anakin's so slick and mischievous, I could definitely picture him doing the stuff you describe!

 

CrystalKenobi, yeah, poor Annie just doesn't trust politicians...

Darth_Lamblike, hi! Thanks for reading! Hope to see you around!

Just a short one this time...

When Anakin got back to the Temple, Obi-Wan was sitting in the living room, with wrapping paper strewn all over the floor.

"Hi, Master," Anakin said casually.

"Ahhh!" Obi-Wan jumped to his feet, trying to hide the wrapping supplies.

"You really should pay attention to your surroundings," Anakin said.

"Very funny, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "Excuse me while I, uh, tidy up."

"Far be it from me to stop you from 'tidying up'," Anakin said. "By the way, did I get any calls?"

"Oh, yes," Obi-Wan said. "Sabé called. I let the machine take it."

"OK," Anakin said. "I'll give her a call."

He wrote down the number Sabé left. Then he called her. The holophone rang. And rang. Ten rings later, Sabé answered.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Hi," Anakin said. "It's me. I just talked to Padmé."

"Oh, good!" Sabé exclaimed. "What did she say?"

"She's coming to Coruscant tomorrow," Anakin said. "Where should we meet?"

"The mall, of course," Sabé said. "Where else?"

"OK," Anakin said. "Morning or afternoon?"

"Morning," Sabé said firmly. "We may need all the time we can get."

"We'll be there," Anakin said.

The next morning, Anakin was sound asleep when someone put a hand on his shoulder and shook him.

"Go'way," Anakin mumbled.

"Padmé's waiting," Obi-Wan's loud, cheerful voice informed him.

"Huuuh?" Anakin asked, opening one eye.

"Padmé is in the kitchen, waiting for you to get out of bed," Obi-Wan said. "It is morning."

With great effort, Anakin opened his other eye and, very slowly, sat up.

"Nice hair, Annie," Padmé, who wasn't in the kitchen after all, said.

"You're awake," Anakin said accusingly. "No one should be awake at..." -he squinted at the clock- "ten-thirty in the morning?"

"I've been up since seven, actually," Padmé said.

"Ugh." Anakin buried his head under the pillow.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said reproachfully. "Get up. Now."

"OK, OK," Anakin said.

"Two minutes, Annie," Padmé said as she left the room. "I need to get some work done today."

Two minutes later, Anakin stumbled into the kitchen and picked up the coffee pot. Before Obi-Wan could stop him, he drank half of it.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan exclaimed.

"Sorry, Master," Anakin said. "We'd better go, I guess. See ya later."

"Bye, Obi-Wan!" Padmé called as she followed Anakin out the door.

Obi-Wan shook his head and settled down to read the Coruscant Daily.

 

Ahhh!" Obi-Wan jumped to his feet, trying to hide the wrapping supplies.


Hmmm must be wrapping that calendar.


10:30 in the morning I wish I could start my day at that time. Thats better than 5 in the morning.

 

Hmmm must be wrapping that calendar.

Maybe.

And yeah, 10:30 in the morning would be a good time to start the day.

Well, here's the next part.

Soon, Anakin and Padmé were at the mall. It was even more crowded than yesterday. Luckily, Anakin Force-tricked another driver into letting him park, and they managed to avoid the fundraising people.

They took the elevator to the third floor and went to the mall's Crunchy Creme doughnut shop. Anakin looked around and quickly spotted Sabé sitting at a table, looking a little apprehensive.

"Padmé, close your eyes," Anakin said.

"Why?" Padmé asked.

"It's part of the plan," Anakin said.

"Okaaay..." Padmé reluctantly closed her eyes.

Anakin took her hand and led her to Sabé's table. Sabé looked up and smiled slightly. Anakin helped Padmé sit down.

"OK, you can open your eyes now," Anakin said.

Padmé opened her eyes, blinked, and looked across the table.

"Oh my," she exclaimed.

"Happy Life Day," Anakin said. "I'll just go and order some food, and you two can, uh, catch up, uh, yeah-I'll order the food." He backed away from the table.

"So," Sabé said.

"So," Padmé echoed.

"It's, um, been a while," Sabé said.

"Yep," Padmé said.

"Yep," Sabé said.

"Mmm-hmm," Padmé said.

They looked over to the counter, where Anakin was standing behind about thirty other people. Two cashier droids and a human cashier were serving them.

"That's a long line," Sabé said, making another attempt at conversation.

"Yeah, it is," Padmé said. She smiled nervously.

"Yeah," Sabé said. She smiled back and shredded a napkin.

They looked over at the counter again. A middle-aged human was arguing with one of the cashier droids. Anakin was studying the menu intently.

"That's a really long line," Padmé said.

"Yeah," Sabé said. "Huge. Gigantic."

"Enormous," Padmé said.

They lapsed into silence. Sabé shredded another napkin. Padmé rearranged the sugar shakers. They looked back at the counter. About twenty people were left in line ahead of Anakin. The line was growing behind him.

A new person walked in and joined the line.

"Hey, isn't that-" Sabé began at the same time Padmé said, "Count Dooku!"

Dooku hadn't noticed Padmé or Sabé yet. But if he did see them, the whole plan would be ruined.

"I'll explain later," Sabé hissed. She darted into the ladies' room.

Padmé hoped Anakin would get back to the table soon. But he was still waiting in line. Dooku was looking around the coffee shop. Suddenly, he noticed her.

"S-Senator A-A-Amidala," he spluttered. "Fancy meetin' you h-here." He gave a weak grin.

Anakin, sensing or hearing Dooku's presence, turned around and winked at Padmé. Then he looked at Dooku.

"Count Dooku," he said evenly.

"Wraah!" Dooku jumped and screamed.

"Fancy meeting you here again," Anakin said.

"Yeah, f-f-funny," Dooku stuttered. "Well, hee hee, Happy L-Life Day."

"It'll be interesting, anyway," Anakin said, grinning slyly.

Dooku gulped and dashed out of the store.

A few minutes later, Anakin had ordered and sat down across from Padmé.

"I hope you're not mad at me again," he said.

Padmé sighed. "I'm not mad. Just surprised," she said wryly.

"Where's Sabé?" Anakin asked through a mouthful of doughnut.

"I'll go get her," Padmé said.

She found Sabé sitting on the counter, swinging her legs and humming a tune.

"What a familiar sight!" Padmé exclaimed.

Sabé grinned and hopped off the counter.

"It's safe to come out now," Padmé added.

"Is it really?" Sabé asked, looking her in the eyes.

Padmé stepped over to her former decoy. "Yes," she said firmly. "Friends?"

Sabé took her outstretched hand. "Friends," she said. "For life."

"Now, what do you say we go and make some plans?" Padmé asked, gr

 

And still more...

"Master! I'm home!" he yelled an hour later.

There were sounds like paper rustling, then a few seconds later, Obi-Wan came out of his sleeping quarters.

"Hello, Padawan," he said. "I assumed you'd be hungry after all that brainstorming, so lunch is in the fridge."

Anakin made a face and dumped the Crunchy Creme box into Obi-Wan's arms.

"I take it you're not hungry," Obi-Wan said, setting the box on the hall table. "How many did you eat, anyway?"

"Uh, Padmé had one, and Sabé had two," Anakin said thoughtfully. "So I guess I ate...well, I lost count after the fifth or sixth."

"I shudder at the thought," Obi-Wan said. "Oh, and there were a bunch of interesting 'phone calls this morning."

"In honor of the holiday season, I haven't played a prank on Yoda in three days," Anakin said. "I don't know what he's so-"

"No, it wasn't Yoda," Obi-Wan said. "In fact, I never did find out who it was. They called about ten times and didn't say anything, and then I got sick of hearing the machine say, 'Greetings, friend,' so I picked it up. They still didn't talk, but after that, the calls stopped."

"Dooku," Anakin said darkly. "He saw us in Crunchy Creme, then he got scared and left. Well, I'll fix him."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said.

But it was too late. Anakin had already dialled the 'phone. When Dooku answered, he said in a deep, scary voice, said, "You have ten days left to live."

Dooku screeched so loud, half of Coruscant could hear him. Anakin smiled and hung up the phone.

"Problem solved," he said.

"I'm sure," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head.

"Oh, by the way, we're going to Padmé's to help her get her Life Day tree," Anakin said casually.

"What? When?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Tomorrow at four," Anakin said. "I told her we'd be there."

"Anakin, how many times have I told you, don't make plans without consulting me first," Obi-Wan scolded. "Especially if they involve me. And what if I was busy?"

"You'd cancel your plans," Anakin said matter-of-factly. "You know you would."

"Alright, alright, I give up," Obi-Wan said. "Tomorrow at four we'll be in Naboo picking out a Life Day tree. Make sure you dress warmly."

"Yeah, yeah," Anakin said, backing away. "If you'll excuse me, I've got some stuff to do."

"Stuff," Obi-Wan echoed. He shook his head as Anakin wandered away.

Anakin spent the next while wrapping Obi-Wan's presents. He slid the bikini calendar into the neon-blue frame, then wrapped it in the paper he'd bought, which was bright red with extremely bright cartoon trees and decorations. He scribbled in the card, "Happy Life Day. Love, Your Secret Admirer." Then he attached the card and bow to the package and stuffed everything under the bed.

 

Anakin spent the next while wrapping Obi-Wan's presents. He slid the bikini calendar into the neon-blue frame, then wrapped it in the paper he'd bought, which was bright red with extremely bright cartoon trees and decorations. He scribbled in the card, "Happy Life Day. Love, Your Secret Admirer." Then he attached the card and bow to the package and stuffed everything under the bed.


I would love to see the look on Obi-wan's face when he opens that present.

Poor Dooku he is so nervous around Anakin. I wonder why.

 

Poor Dooku he is so nervous around Anakin. I wonder why.

Hmmm...no idea...none at all...

Soon it was the next day.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called. "Are you ready to go?"

"Just a minute," Anakin yelled back. "I have to make a 'phone call."

"Well, hurry up!" Obi-Wan said. "It's almost time to leave."

"Shh, I'm on the phone," Anakin said. When Dooku answered, he said in his deep, scary voice, "You have nine days left to live."

"H-H-H-Huh?" Dooku spluttered.

Anakin hung up the 'phone and laughed. He was still laughing when he hopped in his and Obi-Wan's starship.

"I was about to leave without you," Obi-Wan said. "But I decided to wait and make you sit in the passenger seat."

"Funny," Anakin said. "Now move over."

"No, I'm driving," Obi-Wan said.

"D'oh!" Anakin said.

They were soon stopped by traffic. Thousands of vehicles idled in the lanes, turning Coruscant's freeways into a parking lot.

"Come on, let me drive," Anakin said. "Otherwise we'll never get out of here."

"You're not driving, and that's final," Obi-Wan said firmly.

"Hmmmm," Anakin said with a mischievous glint in his eye. He flipped the radio on and turned it to a heavy metal station.

"Music, yes," Obi-Wan said, reaching for the dial. "But this music, no." He changed it to a classical station.

Anakin made a face. "I can't drive, can't listen to perfectly good music, my wife's going to kill me for missing her tree-chopping party...yup, this'll be a great Life Day!"

"And I suppose the solution to your problems involves letting you drive?" Obi-Wan asked, trying not to laugh.

"Well...maybe I'd feel a tiny bit better," Anakin said.

"Alright, you can drive," Obi-Wan said. "On one condition. The music stays."

"Oh, the humanity!" Anakin said. "Actually, I kind of like the view here. You can drive for now."

"I'm honored," Obi-Wan said dryly. "How about some Life Day carols?"

"Yeah, why not?" Anakin said.

Obi-Wan flipped it to a Life Day station. An opera singer was screeching, "I'm dreaming of a white Life Day..."

Anakin grabbed the dial and flipped to a different staion. A group was singing, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."

Obi-Wan sighed and tapped his fingers on the steering console. Anakin flipped to another station. A choir was singing, "The Twelve Days of Life Day."

"Master, we'll be late," Anakin said. "Let me drive."

Obi-Wan looked out the window. The traffic wasn't going anywhere. He looked at the clock. The time was going fast. He sighed.

"Fine," he said. "You can drive. As long as we get there in one piece."

"When have I ever driven unsafely?" Anakin asked indignantly as they switched seats.

"I won't even begin to answer that question," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin ignited the engine, cranked the radio, started singing his own version of "The Twelve Days of Life Day," and sent the ship into a steep climb. Obi-Wan clutched his seat with both hands, trying not to watch.

"On the second day of Life Day, my true love gave to me, two dozen Crunchy Cremes, and a bantha in a pear tree," Anakin sang. He wove the ship expertly between speeders and transports, missing a small spedan by inches. Obi-Wan gulped, swallowed a scream, and crossed his fingers.

"Almost there, Master!" Anakin yelled exuberantly. He drove through a tiny space between two big transport ships. "Yeah! Go me!" He paused for a minute to congratulate himself on his maneuver, then resumed his song. "On the seventh day of Life Day, my true love gave to me, seven clone armies, six packs of beer, five lightsabers, four calling cards, three large pizzas, two Crunchy Cremes, and a bantha in a pear tree."

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan screamed. "Pay attention to your driving!"

"Sorry, Master," Anakin said as they brushed past another spedan. "This song's boring. I need a new one."

"Watch where you're going!

 

Aaaah! Time's getting short! [face_shocked]

*frantically starts writing*

Anyways, the story!

Ten minutes later, they parked the ship in one of Theed's docking bays and caught a cab to the Naberrie house.

"Finally!" Anakin yelled when the cab stopped. He jumped out and waited impatiently while Obi-Wan thanked the driver and wished him a Happy Life Day. Then they went up and knocked on the Naberries' front door.

"Hey, Annie!" Padmé squealed, pulling the door open.

"Padmé!" Anakin exclaimed. He flung his arms around her neck and gave her a big kiss.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

"Oh, hello, Master Kenobi," Padmé said, pulling away from Anakin and giving Obi-Wan a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, Senator Amidala," Obi-Wan replied.

"Come in for a minute while we get organized," Padmé said. She rolled her eyes. "It's part of the tradition. Nobody's ready on time."

"Uncle Annie! Uncle Annie!" Ryoo and Pooja squealed, racing towards the Jedi. "And Uncle Obi!"

"Hey," Anakin greeted them.

"Hello, girls," Obi-Wan added.

"Ryoo! Pooja!" Sola yelled from the dining room. "Leave your uncles alone! Finish getting dressed!"

The girls scampered away, just as a small brown-haired woman hurried in.

"Anakin! Obi-Wan! You're finally here!" she exclaimed.

"In a hurry, Sabé?" Padmé asked.

"Yeah, Padmé," Sabé said.

They looked at each other and started laughing. A look of comprehension dawned on Anakin and Obi-Wan's faces.

"Oops," Anakin said.

"Hey, I don't mind," said the woman Anakin had thought was Padmé.

"Watch it, Sabé," the real Padmé growled, pretending to be mad. She stepped up to Anakin. "My turn."

While they were kissing, Ruwee, Jobal, Sola, Ryoo, and Pooja came into the living room. They all smiled and cleared their throats.

"Guys, it's Life Day, not Valentine's," Sabé called. "Besides, someone might be cutting down our tree right now."

"OK, OK, we get the idea," Padmé said. She quickly pulled on her cold-weather clothes, then they were all ready to go.

Five minutes later, when everyone was piled in the Naberries' speedervan and they were making good time, Ryoo announced, "I have to go."

Ruwee sighed and pulled into a service-station. "Anybody else have to go while we're stopped?" he asked sternly.

Everybody shook their heads. Soon, they were back on their way.

When they got to the tree-fields, they got out of the van, stretching and talking. They weren't alone. In fact, it looked as if everyone in Naboo had decided to get a tree today. The fields were full of people.

"Wow," Sola said. She took Ryoo and Pooja by the hands as Ruwee whistled for attention.

"Alright, listen up, everyone! Since there are so many of us, and so many other people, everyone has to buddy up," he announced. "We'll all try to stay together, but if we do get seperated, just call your buddy's name. Understand?"

Everyone nodded.

"Someone, I hope, brought the ribbon to mark potential trees?" Ruwee continued.

"Here," Obi-Wan and Jobal called at the same time, holding up their bags of ribbon.

"Oh no!" Padmé exclaimed. She held up her own bag of ribbon. "I thought no one would remember, so I brought some."

"I brought rope and a saw, so the Naberrie family Life Day tree hunt has now officially began!" Ruwee proclaimed.

"Yee-haw!" Sabé yelled. "Let's chop down a tree!"

Laughing and happy, they went out to the fields and began searching for the perfect tree. It wasn't hard. Five different people found five perfect trees within two minutes.

"This one, Mom! Can we get it? Pleeeease?" Ryoo begged, tugging at Sola's hand.

"Not that one, this one!" Pooja said, pulling at Sola's other hand.

"Oh! This is the tree!" Padmé exclaimed, gazing rapturously at a short, elegant one.

"You call that a tree, sis?" Sola teased. She pointed at a different one. "I like that one."

"

 

They meandered through the trees away from the Sith. When they were far enough away, they stopped and began examining trees again.

"This one's nice," Padmé said.

"Yeah, but this one's nicer," Anakin said.

"They're both nice," Padmé said. They smiled at each other.

"Here's ano-wraaaah!" Dooku came running through the trees and slipped on a patch of ice. His momentum sent him sliding right between Anakin and Padmé, knocking them into the snow, too.

"Yeow!" Padmé shrieked.

"Sith!" Anakin said.

"D-D-D'oh, I'm so sorr-aaaaah! It's-It's you again!" Dooku stuttered, climbing awkwardly to his feet.

"Well, well, well," Anakin said. "Look who's here." He helped Padmé to her feet, then turned back to Dooku.

"I'd better be g-going," Dooku said, backing away with a nervous grin on his face.

"You'd better be careful," Anakin said. "Accidents can lead to a short life."

"Aaaaaaaah!" Dooku screamed, running away from them. "Maaaaaster!!!!!"

"Weird," Padmé said.

"Forget about him," Anakin said. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," Padmé said. "The snow might be cold and wet, but it is soft."

They strolled leisurely through the trees. Anakin snickered over the memory of Dooku sliding headfirst into the snowbank.

After a while, they noticed how silent and still this part of the field was. Nobody else was around.

"Where is everyone?" Anakin asked.

"Oh! I remember this place!" Padmé exclaimed. "It's a back field. No one ever comes here, because there's so many great trees out there. I found it by accident when I was a little girl. It's so peaceful."

"It's pretty," Anakin said, awed as always by the snow.

"We'd better go back and find everyone else, though," Padmé said reluctantly.

"Yeah," Anakin said softly.

They walked back out to the main field and soon met up with everyone. They were standing around a pretty little evergreen with snow on its branches.

"Greetings, friends," Sabé said. "Long time no see."

"Nice of you to pick out a tree without us," Padmé said, pretending to be mad.

"Don't thank us," Sabé said cheerfully. "That's what friends are for."

"Ha ha," Padmé said.

Ruwee, meanwhile, had solemnly handed the saw to Anakin. Anakin took it and started sawing through the trunk.

"Slow down, Anakin," Obi-Wan warned. "You can never be too careful with tools."

"I know, I know," Anakin said, not slowing down a bit. A few strokes later, he decided the saw was too slow. He pulled out his lightsaber.

"Oh no," Obi-Wan said. "You're not going to-"

Anakin swung the saber and sliced neatly through the trunk. The tree fell with a soft thump.

"He did," Padmé said.

Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"Now you get to drag it back," Ruwee said. He grinned and handed Anakin the rope.

"I don't need rope," Anakin said, waving it away. "Watch this." He Force-lifted the tree and began walking. Padmé and Sabé fell into step beside him.

"Nice lumberjacking, Annie," Padmé said, sliding her hand through his arm.

"All in a day's work," Anakin said nonchalantly. He turned to grin down at her and lost his concentration. The tree fell and landed on Sabé's toe.

"Dang!" Sabé said. She grabbed her injured foot and started hopping around.

"Oops," Anakin said, blushing. "Sorry."

"It's my fault," Padmé said apologetically. "I shouldn't have distracted him."

"It's okay," Sabé said. She dropped her foot. "No harm done."

Anakin picked up the tree again, and they made it to the baling area without any more accidents. Two people were ahead of them waiting to get their tree shaken and baled. One of them had a black hood over his head and the other one was an old guy with a beard. They were holding a spindly, crooked tree missing half the needles.

"Now you see me, now you don't," Sabé whispered. She winked at Anakin and Padmé and left.

The tree

 

Sorry, I got behind on replying.

I loved the go fish game.

I also loved the Sabe and Padme each kissing Anakin etc

Remind me not to go tree cutting with Anakin. I like my toes too much.

All the posts were great and funny. You have a wonderful talent for writing these types of stories.

 

Thank you for the compliment, and thank you so, so much for reading. I really appreciate it.

*counts days left and screams*

Anyways, the story.

The days passed quickly until finally it was Life Day Eve. Anakin and Obi-Wan were standing on the Naberries' doorstep again, waiting for someone to let them in.

"Dang it," Anakin said. "Why won't they open the door?"

"They're probably just being careful," Obi-Wan said soothingly.

At that moment, a brown-haired woman flung the door open.

"Are you guys carollers or something?" she asked, grinning widely.

"Jedi Carolling Inc. at your service, ma'am," Anakin said, saluting.

"Well, come on in," she said. "You must be freezing."

"Very perceptive of you, Padmé," Anakin said.

"You got me," Padmé said good-naturedly.

"Hello again, Senator," Obi-Wan said.

"Hello again, Master Kenobi," Padmé shot back.

"Guys! Quit kissing and let's get this tree decorated!" Sabé yelled from the living room.

"We are not kissing!" Padmé yelled back. She shook her head. "I'm so glad I gave Dormé the week off. Two of them would be two too many."

They went into the living room, where the tree stood in all its undecorated glory. Jobal, Ruwee, Sola, Ryoo, Pooja, and Sabé were unpacking ornaments.

"Good, you're here," Ruwee said. "The Naberrie Family Tree Trimming can start!"

The whole group began singing Life Day carols and hanging glass balls, trinkets, and little holopictures of winter and Life Day scenes.

Unfortunatly, they were so excited that no one noticed the tree wobbling until it was too late.

"Have a holly jolly-oh no!" Padmé screamed.

The tree fell to the floor with a thud. Everyone except Anakin screamed.

"Nobody got their toes squished this time!" Anakin said happily.

"Ha ha," Sabé said.

With a sigh, Ruwee and Obi-Wan picked up the tree and put it back in its stand, double-checking to make sure it was secure. The group picked up scattered ornaments and started redecorating, very carefully this time.

"Thank goodness none of these broke," Jobal commented.

"Yeah, it's like-a miracle!" Sabé exclaimed, throwing out her arms dramatically. Sola, who was standing beside her, jumped away to avoid getting hit. She stumbled into the tree and sent it crashing to the floor on the other side.

"Oh no!" her and Sabé exclaimed in unison.

"I'm so sorry!" Sabé added.

"Clumsy me," Sola mourned.

"You get to put it back this time," Ruwee said in mock anger.

Sabé and Sola picked the tree up again, placed it in its stand, and fixed the few fallen ornaments. For the third time, everyone started decorating.

"Look! It's the teapot I made in fourth grade!" Padmé said, pulling a crooked, rough, miniature green-and-red clay teapot from a box.

"Looks like everybody's favorite Senator has some hidden talents," Anakin said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Please," Padmé groaned. "No politics. Tonight or tomorrow."

"Yes, M'lady," Anakin said, bowing.

Padmé pulled a tiny stuffed bear from the box and threw it at his head. "Get to work."

"Alright, alright," Anakin said. He took the bear and hung it on a top branch.

"I'm not sure if I should risk putting this up," Padmé said thoughtfully, turning her teapot over.

"It'll be safe," Anakin said. He held out his hand. "Here. I'll hang it for you."

Padmé gave him the teapot. He carefully hooked it over a branch.

"Padmé! Remember these?" Sola squealed. She was holding two pairs of mittens on strings. One pair was bright fuschia, the other lime green.

"Ugh! Don't remind me!" Padmé said, wrinkling her nose.

Sola draped the mittens over a couple branches.

"Hmmm," Obi-Wan said. "Since we seem to be trading memories, do you mind if I share?"

"Go right ahead," Jobal said warmly.

"When Anakin was eleven, the young Padawans had a Life Day tree orna

 

The way you described the tree decorating was wonderful. I love the little story Obi-wan told. That was cute.

I can't wait to see the caroling. I'm trying to imagine Sabe and Anakin singing. I already know that Obi-wan can sing. Opps wait a minute thats Ewan who can sing. Nope I guess I need to see if Obi-wan can sing.

 

Awww!!!!! Cute obi story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how could I miss so many posts? Do you think you could PM me when you do? Thanx!!

 

*rescues thread from page 6* Eeek!

CrystalKenobi, nah, none of them can sing. They sound really awful.

diamond_pony2002, welcome back! Thanks for reading!

Well, guys, here it is: the gift that keeps on giving...or posting. Whatever. Read away!

A few minutes later, everyone had warm clothes and songbooks. Padmé led them to the house next door. An elderly couple answered their knock and said they'd love to hear some singing.

"On the count of three we sing, We Wish You A Happy Life Day," Padmé said. She counted, and they burst into song.

The couple winced, and shut the door as soon as they were done.

"That went well," Sabé said, making a face.

"That was terrible!" Padmé exclaimed.

"Obviously, they just don't appreciate good music," Anakin said. "Let's go over here."

They went across the street and knocked. A young couple answered the door.

"Can we help you?" they asked.

"We're carollers," Padmé said sweetly, smiling prettily. "Would you like us to sing?"

"Sure," the couple agreed.

"OK, then," Padmé said. She whispered to her friends and they burst into "Holly Jolly Life Day."

"Excuse us," the couple said, backing away. "We left the cookies in the oven." They shut the door.

"Blast," Sabé said.

They trudged on to several more houses. After several more shut doors, they gave up and went home, where baked treats and hot drinks awaited them.

"OK, so Life Day Eve carolling won't be a tradition," Padmé said, laughing.

"Who cares? This is fun enough," Anakin said through a mouthful of cookie.

"Mmm-hmm," Sabé agreed.

Half an hour later, everyone got up, said their good-nights, and went to bed.

In the middle of the night, Anakin sat up suddenly. He'd heard banging noises and a big thud. He got up to investigate, and remembered something.

"Dang it, I almost forgot all about Obi-Wan's present," he muttered. He went back, retrieved the package from the mess in his backpack, and tiptoed out to the living room, present in one hand and lightsaber in the other.

Obi-Wan was sound asleep until he remembered that he'd forgotten to put Anakin's present under the tree. He got up, took it out of his pack, and snuck out to the living room. He'd just placed it under the tree when he heard a soft sound, like someone breathing. He tensed and pulled out his lightsaber, ready to ignite it at a moment's notice.

Anakin crept around the room, using all his senses to find whoever was there. He saw a flash of white, and heard paper rustling. He dropped his present and headed over, prepared to defend himself. The intruder was near.

Obi-Wan looked around, sure he'd heard footsteps. Those footsteps were coming closer. He started moving towards the middle of the room.

Anakin moved a little quicker, sure now that the person was by the tree. He was almost there when he ran into something.

Obi-Wan took a step and suddenly someone crashed into him. He ignited his lightsaber...and saw a very startled Anakin standing in front of him, holding his own unignited lightsaber. They both screamed.

"Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?" Anakin spluttered.

"What am I doing here-what are you doing here?" Obi-Wan exclaimed.

"Never mind," they both said in unison.

"I thought it was Dooku," Anakin said, starting to laugh. "I was gonna clobber him."

"Wait a minute," Obi-Wan said. "I thought it was Dooku. I was going to clobber him."

They laughed for a few minutes, then yawned and decided they'd better go back to bed. Morning would come soon.

Morning did come soon. Ryoo and Pooja woke everyone up by racing around the house screaming, "Happy Life Day! Look at all the presents!"

Slowly, people came into the living room, rubbing their eyes and yawning. Padmé hadn't even brushed her hair.

"What time is it?" she muttered, squinting at the clock. "Six-thirty?"

"Six thirty-one, Au