Before And In Conclusion... (a JA era Obi-Wan monologue) Completed 2-5!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by sheleigh, Jul 5, 2005.

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  1. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Title: And In Conclusion?
    Author: Sheleigh
    Disclaimer: I have never made, nor will I ever make any assumptions of ownership. Blame Lucas Film for the insanity.
    Timeline: JA era. Obi-Wan is approximately 18 years old.
    Summary: Obi-Wan?s account of a particularly harsh mission.
    Author?s notes: This was originally going to be a brief vignette where I tested my hand at first person writing. (First time for everything, I suppose.) However, I?ve been bitten by the plot bunny, so I?ll run with it, despite my apprehension of the writing style. Enjoy!


    ****

    I am typically a very placid person. Energetic, yes, and on occasion my Master will call me strong willed, though I prefer to think of it as opinionated. Sarcasm is my major defense and on occasion cynicism will be utilized. Despite my personality's quirks, and any of my odd habits, I am a very nice individual.

    But, Force help me, if I have to listen to another politician slime his way into the hearts of the people or declare his everlasting true and heartfelt adoration for his oppositions beliefs, I may just commit myself to the darkside. This particular mission has been a delight, and its memories shall ever live in my heart. Regardless of the images of joyous celebrations and a bureaucracy not taken by corruption?

    It was anything but.

    No this mission began with the first call from the council. My Master and I had just returned from a particularly grueling assignment where (without going into specifics) we had been shot at, thrown into a fire pit- it, thankfully, was not lit- and.. oh yes! were almost skewered by a particularly feisty group of natives. Luckily, despite their backwater tendencies, they understood that our ?magical? glowing swords could probably cut them, considering the ease with which it cut through chains.

    No more than a day had past (much of which I spent in blissful unconsciousness) when we were once again called to the hallowed halls of the Jedi Council. It was there that we learned of mission to Ricsosse IV. Even thinking of it makes me want to shudder. And, when really one ponders it, who actually names a planet Ricsosse IV, when that particular system lacks a Ricsosse one through three?

    I digress. The council prattled on in great detail about the delicacy of the situation, and how the transitional government was trying to keep control. Apparently Ricsosse IV had been a dictatorship for as long as anyone could remember (and considering how old Master Yoda is? well?). The planetary government had fallen into shambles when the last dictator suddenly fell ill and died, leaving no heir and no logical means of what to do next. Naturally, a planet wide upheaval occurred where what remained of the dictatorship clung to power, much like a sweaty tunic does to ones person after a work out. The government was overthrown, and the transitory government put in place, where its first call was to the Republic, as a show of good will, and an attempt to weasel their way into the Senate.

    I admit that around this point I started to fade in my active attention. I was listening, but may have been sidetracked in my thoughts just the slightest. Not that I stayed in that state for long. Master Qui-Gon, unfortunately, realized that my attention had started to slip, and while I may not have physically betrayed my loss of focus, I think I may have a mental bruise where I was firmly prodded over our bond to please pay attention, young Padawan!

    His voice rang in my head for hours, I swear. One does not realize how precious the silence of their mind is until it is reverberating with the sound of grumpy Jedi Masters.

    As I was saying, the Republic willingly accepted the salutations of the planet (never mind the fact that it wasn?t actually the official government), and as a show of goodwill offered to send Jedi negotiators to oversee the groups efforts. And somehow out of the many thousands of Masters, knights, and Master/Padawan teams in the Temple, my master and I were chosen. And for once in his life, my Master
  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    This is very good I could imagine Obi-wan saying those things
    His voice rang in my head for hours,

    ?Padawan, you have a bad feeling about everything.

    How about ?I am being paranoid again, Master.? Or ?Master, this situation is giving me the heebie jeebies.?


    I?m sorry, but when the food squirms when I?m trying to eat it, I simply must draw the line.
    Thank the Force, it had a bed. Two in fact,


    It is interesting and I smiled the whole time I read it

    Bravo [face_dancing]
  3. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 2
    You really captured Obi-Wan's personality in this. I could hear him saying these words, which means you got into his psyche! =D=
  4. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Need I remind you that just last week you had a bad feeling about your dinner. Your dinner for Force sake.
    ROFLOL!! Loved the suggestions of new lines as well!!

    This was delightful sheleigh!!
  5. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  6. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hee hee, I love it! I could hear Obi-Wan's voice in my head as I read this. Need more! :)
  7. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Splendiferous! I especially liked the "heebie jeebies" line. [face_laughing] Qui-Gon is a bit of a card in this one. Just great!

    I agree with everyone so far--I can so totally hear Obi-Wan's voice in my head when I read this. The word choice and the wry tone and the sentiments expressed are all very Obi. I love it. Keep it up!
  8. Obi-WansApprentice Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    As always, Sheleigh, you never cease to impress me. =D=

    But, Force help me, if I have to listen to another politician slime his way into the hearts of the people or declare his everlasting true and heartfelt adoration for his oppositions beliefs, I may just commit myself to the darkside.
    Here, here!

    And, when really one ponders it, who actually names a planet Ricsosse IV, when that particular system lacks a Ricsosse one through three?
    This sounds like him so much, I'd swear he'd been borrowing your computer and posting under your name! *thinks* You really did write this, right, Sheleigh? You're not hiding Obi-Wan in your closet or anything? :eek: Are you holding out on me!? You are! You evil, evil woman, you! ;)

    Naturally, a planet wide upheaval occurred where what remained of the dictatorship clung to power, much like a sweaty tunic does to ones person after a work out.
    :eek:
    Obi-Wan? Working out? Sheleigh, are you trying to kill me!? ;) :D

    I think I may have a mental bruise where I was firmly prodded over our bond to please pay attention, young Padawan!
    If this happened to me everytime I wasn't paying attention in class...*shakes head* Hee. I'd just be happy that I have Qui-Gon's voice in my head! :D

    One does not realize how precious the silence of their mind is until it is reverberating with the sound of grumpy Jedi Masters.
    [face_laugh]

    And while we are on the subject... might I suggest a new line? How about ?I am being paranoid again, Master.? Or ?Master, this situation is giving me the heebie jeebies.? Need I remind you that just last week you had a bad feeling about your dinner. Your dinner for Force sake. And just yesterday you had a bad feeling about the meeting with the High Council.?
    I LOVE IT!!! Sheleigh, you. are. a. GENIUS! [:D]

    All I received for my personal comedy act was a swat to the head, and a reminder to keep studying.
    Ah, the love of a Master and his Padawan. Can you feel it? [face_love] :p

    I?m sorry, but when the food squirms when I?m trying to eat it, I simply must draw the line.
    For some reason, this brought to mind that scene in The Addams Family. That scene where Wednesday was poking her moving mush with her fork. [face_laugh]

    Master Qui-Gon, I should mention, ate with the dignified stoicism truly deserving of a Jedi Master.
    [face_sick]

    You try sleeping next to your entirely too big Master who hogs the covers. Considering his towering height over me, its hardly like I could steal them back. Perhaps if I had a large lift, or maybe a small army of men, but not likely otherwise.
    [face_laugh]
    I can just picture it, too... Obi-Wan would try to pull the covers back to his side, fail, and fall out of bed. *snicker*

    Soon we were engaged in a morning spar which we managed to attract a large crowd of mostly females, all of whom were eyeing my Master and I with something akin to what I?d seen in the eyes of potential murderers just before they tried to shoot me with a blaster.
    To quote an infamous reply to another of Sheleigh's stories... "I'd be at the front of the group shouting, 'Have my Force child!'" [face_laugh]


    "I want more!"

    Hurry and post! *poke*

    Fantabulous beginning!




    Obi-WansApprentice [face_love]
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    [face_laugh]

    that was great. here good little bunny, come get your bribe for biting Sheleigh
  10. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Tee-hee! How funny! Your wit and dry humor are commendable, sheleigh, as well as your actual writing! I had thought about keeping track of my favorite lines, but then I would be copying and pasting nearly the whole thing... and that would be redundant. :p So instad, let me simply say that I enjoyed it and am eagerly awaiting the next installment.

    ((Ah... must suck having someone inside your head... I mean, is it your fault if the people are babbling and your attention wanders just a little? I mean, as long as THEY don't know you're half-asleep...))
  11. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Gkilkenny- Thank you! [face_blush] I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, and thought the characterization of Obi-Wan was exact. :)

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon- Thank you for your lovely comment. :) Obi-Wan's psyche, as it turns out, is a lot more fun to write than I orginially thought. [face_laugh]

    Leona- [face_blush] Thank you! That particular passage was more fun to write than most, considering its the only time I really had a chance to portray Qui-Gon's character through his past sayings.

    DarthIshtar Thank you! :)

    Bastet- :D Well I hope this next segement allows for much of the same enjoyment wise. Thank you!

    May- [face_blush] Thank you for your kind words. Obi-Wan's a particular joy to write when he's being sarcastic, and considering that is most of the time... :D

    OWA- Good grief, girl. Its almost as long as the actual post! ;) And while I wasn't trying to kill you, if you found aspects that were worthy of it, than I must say that I'm most pleased. Hurry and post? well is you insist. Here's the next part.

    PK- Oi! no feeding the bunnies... I don't have that much time to write. ;)

    Fluff-slayer- First off- love your user name! Thank you so very much for your kind words. [face_blush] I somehow think that Obi-Wan's attention may have to wander a bit more before he gets the 'here and now' idea down. :p

    AN: Next chapter/post/segment is here. I hope that you enjoy it as well! Thanks for reading, all, and for the wonderful feedback. :)

    ****

    Master Qui-Gon had gleefully trounced me in the saber duel. As was usual from him, he easily knocked me around the gym, explaining where my weaknesses were, and how to improve. Finally, after about an hour of intense dueling, he swept his saber in an arc while simultaneously sweeping his leg out in a dazzling kick. I suddenly found myself flat out on the mat, trying to figure out how my lightsaber had ended up in his hands and just how he had managed to twist around like that. And while he may have managed to maintain that blasted composure of his, his eyes once again betrayed his merriment.

    I personally find it slightly disturbing that he takes so much pleasure in smacking me around. I didn?t think I was that bothersome as a young apprentice!

    We briskly walked (though I?d beg to differ with Master Qui-Gon. We fled.) from the gym, dodging women who seemed all together too happy to be handing towels, massage oils or whatever else they could get their hands on to us. Once we had safely occupied (and locked) our rooms, I set about making myself comfortable, thinking- incorrectly, as usual- that surely some brief reprieve would be granted. If the amount of alcohol that our hosts had consumed the night before played any role in beginning the day?s agenda, then surely it would be at least three more hours until they came out of their drunken stupor.

    About this time I discovered that Ricsosse natives have about the same tolerance to alcohol as my master has to Huttese Opera: infinite. No more than a quarter of an hour had passed before the comm chimed; Master Qui-Gon answered it with his usual promptness, and before I really knew what was happening, I had been whisked from my entirely too comfortable chair and out the door.

    I swear by the Force, the real reason Padawan learners wear a braid is not to show honor of their station in life, but to provide their Masters with a convenient and comfortable shoulder high leash.

    I felt like a pup being herded by its den mother. Rather forcefully too. Somehow my semi-frequent reminders to Master Qui-Gon that I?m nearly eighteen and on occasion can manage to think for myself are either ignored or (and this is the most infuriating response) kindly treated with utmost respect, complete with nods of understanding, and then promptly forgotten.

    Masters. I suddenly find myself fighting with the irrepressible urge to sigh loudly.

    And if that prod of Padawan! is any indication, I didn?t manage to repre
  12. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Oh, great post! :D Loved this-My job in all of this? I?m the decorative Padawan room ornament. Er, can I have one of those? ;) Can't wait for more!
  13. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    [face_laugh] Ack--can't--stop--

    I swear by the Force, the real reason Padawan learners wear a braid is not to show honor of their station in life, but to provide their Masters with a convenient and comfortable shoulder high leash.

    I felt like a pup being herded by its den mother. Rather forcefully too. Somehow my semi-frequent reminders to Master Qui-Gon that I?m nearly eighteen and on occasion can manage to think for myself are either ignored or (and this is the most infuriating response) kindly treated with utmost respect, complete with nods of understanding, and then promptly forgotten.


    Another fantabulous chappy, shelieigh! Poor Obi, with his Master using his Padawan braid like a leash... though I must admit, I would probably be guilty of the same given half a chance. Ah... How do you DO this anyway? I would like to say "stop, you're making my sides hurt", but not being able to read this would be worse. Much, much worse.

    I wonder what's next? Will we get a peekie of a different genre? I love Obi-Wan's perspective on all this; you write him super-well! :* Keep a'writing!

    ((Thanks. You're the first person to mention my sn. I thought it was at least a little clever.. [face_blush] ))
  14. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    My Master has found justifiable cause on numerous occasions to raise his voice to me, though normally he simply settles for The Look. Roughly translated The Look means hell and damnation for all who encounter it. Unfortunately, I find myself to be on the receiving end of that far too often.

    XD thats entirely in character....It reminds me of TPM when Obi says " The negotiations wERE short" and Qui-gon gives him that look XD.

    My job in all of this? I?m the decorative Padawan room ornament-

    [face_laugh] Tru Obi-humor XD

    As I raised my ?saber I mentally groaned.

    I knew I had a bad feeling about this.

    Master Qui-Gon?s snort of laughter didn?t escape me.


    XDDD very enjoyable. Poor Obi-wan XD
  15. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Loved the chair throwing incident and the decorative Padawan room ornament and the whole tone in general. Very funny. I can just picture the whole thing.

    Great job with it.
  16. Obi-WansApprentice Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2002
    I agree with Bastet. Are those Decorative Padawan Room Ornaments for sale? Is financing available? :p

    "We briskly walked (though I?d beg to differ with Master Qui-Gon. We fled.) from the gym, dodging women who seemed all together too happy to be handing towels, massage oils or whatever else they could get their hands on to us. "
    :eek: Massage oils? [face_mischief] :D

    "My Master has found justifiable cause on numerous occasions to raise his voice to me, though normally he simply settles for The Look. Roughly translated The Look means hell and damnation for all who encounter it. Unfortunately, I find myself to be on the receiving end of that far too often."
    [face_laugh]


    I loved the chair-throwing incident! The braid-pulling made me giggle. :p

    Lovely humor, lovely imagery...lovely writing all around! Can't wait to see what happens next!

    *poke*

    Obi-WansApprentice
  17. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] I'm glad I took a look at this! It really sounds like Obi-Wan. Great job!
  18. Neo-Paladin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 4
    This has captured my attention and evoked more than a few smiles from me. I can't wait for more.
  19. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I'm really enjoying this, but I just don't understand why Ican't feed the bunny? [face_innocent]
  20. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Soon we were engaged in a morning spar which we managed to attract a large crowd of mostly females, all of whom were eyeing my Master and I with something akin to what I??d seen in the eyes of potential murderers just before they tried to shoot me with a blaster.

    I swear by the Force, the real reason Padawan learners wear a braid is not to show honor of their station in life, but to provide their Masters with a convenient and comfortable shoulder high leash.


    Roughly translated The Look means hell and damnation for all who encounter it. Unfortunately, I find myself to be on the receiving end of that far too often.


    LOL I'm loving this! Intense but funny! More soon!
  21. Valiowk Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    We briskly walked (though I?d beg to differ with Master Qui-Gon. We fled.)

    Hehe. Poor Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. :p

    I swear by the Force, the real reason Padawan learners wear a braid is not to show honor of their station in life, but to provide their Masters with a convenient and comfortable shoulder high leash.

    ROTFL! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh, I can't stop laughing at that image in my mind. :D :D :D

    My job in all of this? I?m the decorative Padawan room ornament

    Awww, our dearest Obi-Wan with nothing to do (or so he thinks ;) )

    Great job, sheleigh! :)
  22. Phoenix_Reborn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
    Poor Obi.

    Wonderful so far sheleigh.
  23. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Bastet- Sure... for four easy payments of $99.95! Thats right! only Four easy payments!! :p Here is more. :)

    Fluff-slayer- Ahaha! I have achieved my goal then! A peek into a different genre? perhaps. Read on to find out.

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya- Thank you! Poor Obi-Wan indeed... [face_devil] By the by, your user name is interesting... any particular meaning behind it?

    Diane- [face_blush] Thank you :)

    OWA- Hah. Maybe... but why have decorative Padawan room ornaments, when you can have leather clad Obi-Wan? Hah. Yes massage oils. Honestly, lady, you pick up on all the odd things. :p And just for poking me... here is another chapter.

    Tigris- [face_blush] Thank you! And I'm glad you took a look as well!

    Neo-Paladin- Hopefully you get a few more smiles from this one. :)

    PK- By all means... feed the bunny. I think he got mad when I denied him his carrots. This particular chapter was a real pain. Lots of carrots! He doesn't like mine for some reason. :( :p

    Arwen- Ah! Welcome, my friend! Thank you for the kind words... here's more... relatively soon, right? [face_laugh]

    Valiowk- Well I think he has his hands full now! Thank you for the lovely review. :)

    Phoenix- Poor Obi, indeed. Thank you for the kind words. :)


    Note: Sorry about the slight delay- as I said earlier this chapter gave me quite the hassle in writing. I despise action... the skill in writing it remains... elusive. But enjoy nonetheless, and thank you again for the wonderful and lovely feedback. :)

    ****


    The battle we found ourselves engaged in was decidedly one sided. Though Master Qui-Gon and I have long since learned how to work as a unit, and quite well at that, we were overpowered by sheer number.

    A number that would seem slightly difficult to tip toe past security. Especially when they are armed with blaster rifles. Blaster rifles that, might I add, can not be concealed under their entirely too well fitted uniforms.

    I moved to stand directly in front of the delegates, with Master Qui-Gon taking the main defensive position. Together we managed to fight back a good number, but for every one we managed to knock out, there was two more to replace them.

    It was becoming readily apparent that our only hope lay in security getting their act together, and bringing back up. I leapt forward deflecting a bolt that slid past my Master?s defenses. Though he had no visible reaction the bond immediately flared with gratitude. In a series of parries that left my side partially undefended, I managed to take down three more men. The Force alighted in warning and even with enhanced reflexes, I turned too late to protect myself.

    A searing pain shot through my shoulder, followed by another one to my leg. While I may be a Jedi, and have been taught to deal with pain, the initial contact is always gut wrenching. Try though I may, it is nearly impossible to fight while your usable limbs consist of one leg and an arm. Hardly conducive to any style of lightsaber fighting, and especially the one that I?ve focused on.

    Acrobatics while injured means many hours spent in the healing center, complete with the complimentary lectures my Master so loves to give. ?Flair for the dramatics, young Padawan!?

    About this time, fortunately, the coma-inducing ?sleep medication? that Jedi healers are so driven on using when I?m in the center kick in, and I?m freed from the confined torment that is my bed? or at least the human encyclopedia my Master becomes on such occasions.

    Suddenly I was foresaw many long hours in the healing center. The unexpected blow of two blaster bolts getting past my defenses brought me almost instantaneously to my knees. Instinctively, I knew that I had to get back up, simply because there were far too many of them for Master Qui-Gon to fight alone (though he may have had a better chance than say? me). I lurched myself back up, the throbbing in my leg intensifying instantly.

    My Mast
  24. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    Ooh! Ooh! I think I get to reply first!!!

    Well, I believe my prediction was correct--we DID get a taste of fluff in there. Hehe! A good writer writes each story in all genres, not just one. [face_laugh] How in the world are you managing this?

    Poor Obi and his bad luck. Everyone seems intent on casting him as the clumsy one that has had one too many brushes with every physician in the galaxy. I, for one, would like to see the written lines that found this idea. I mean, surely every Jedi must be allowed a few (hundred) slipups. It's dangerous work preserving peace and harmony!

    Edit: Is Obi-Wan really a "froggy" apprentice, or is that a typo? :confused:
  25. Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2000
    star 3
    I just found this, and it is absolutely amazing! I haven't found a story that made me laugh this hard in ages!!

    With my master?s startled mental shout of Padawan! ricocheting in my mind I fell to the floor in an undignified heap, unconscious and bleeding.

    Typical.


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I love this!! Keep up the great work!!!
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