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Saga Angels - TPM AU, A/P Short Story - Completed July 18, 2007

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jade_Max, Jan 27, 2007.

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  1. Jade_Max

    Jade_Max Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2002
    Disclaimer: It's George's sandbox; I'm simply destroying the sandcastles

    Title: Angels
    Author: Jade_Max
    Genre: "What If" Short Story
    Timeframe: TPM - AU
    Summary: What if Anakin had been older than Padmé at the time of their first meeting on Tatooine? How would their first conversation have gone? (Anakin is 16, Padmé is 14)
    Notes Thank you to Knight-Ander for a rabid plot bunny that chewed on my brain while I was trying to write my other A/P and A/B stories. :Þ Adopted from the Plot Bunny Thread.

    Note: I'll be keeping a PM list for this story - let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.


    Angels

    Padmé stepped into the small junk shop with a slight wrinkle of distaste marring the bridge of her nose. It was clean, she gave it that, but crowded. Piles of junk, half-repaired robots, bits and pieces of every ship system she knew about and those she didn't littered every nook and cranny. The floor was covered in a fine layer of sand - but then, everything she'd seen thus far on Tatooine was.

    Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was speaking with the shop owner and she paid him little mind, instead turned to look at the flickering image of a pod racer with the silhouette of a young man standing beside it that was mounted above the main desk. A bent head behind the desk caught her gaze. Curly dark hair spilling low over forehead and cheek, hid their features from view and she stepped forward curiously. Whoever it was seemed to be completely absorbed in what they were doing.

    "Hello?"

    Padmé's breath caught as the owner of those curls looked up and was snared immediately by the clearest crystal blue eyes she'd ever seen. It took her a minute to realize that the boy, who looked about her age, hadn't responded; he was staring at her the way she was staring at him. Heat suffused her cheeks and she tore her gaze away from his. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

    "You didn't."

    Padmé's breath caught. His voice was mellow, caught somewhere between adult-hood and that of a child. It didn't crack, but it held the hint of deeper tones to come. She dared another look at him and took a half-step back. He'd stood up. He was well on his way to being six feet tall, if she didn't miss her guess. She darted a look back towards where Qui-Gon had disappeared with the shop owner.

    "If we have what you're looking for, they might haggle over price all afternoon. I wouldn't hold your breath," the boy told her, hesitance evident in each of the syllables.

    Padmé's shoulders dropped. "Oh." She turned back to the boy, curiously drawn to him, feeling safe in his presence the way she did in Master Jinn's. She struggled for something to say, but the boy's intent gaze was flustering her, making her brain act like much. What was wrong with her?

    "I'm Anakin," he finally ventured.

    She exhaled, feeling both relieved and chagrined he'd had to be the one to rescue her. "I'm pleased to meet you, Anakin. I'm Padmé."

    Anakin smiled, his lips tilting into a grin that revealed even white teeth. "Padmé." He repeated her name, taking another look at her. "Are you in disguise?"

    She jerked as if struck. What did he just say? "P-pardon?"

    He stepped closer, around the desk, looking at her carefully. "I asked if you were in disguise. It must be hard to hide your wings."

    "My wings?" Padmé echoed, feeling at a complete loss. What was he talking about?

    Anakin nodded, solemnly, but his eyes sparkled. "Must be hard to walk around mortals for an angel. Want to tell me what it's like?"

    Padmé blinked, the words sinking in slowly, as she took in the seriousness of his expression coupled with the sparkle in his gaze. "You're making fun of me."

    "Never." His expression turned contrite and he backed away, hitting the desk with his hip and almost stumbling. He looked away, embarrassed "I'm sorry if you think so. I just... you're the prettiest girl I'v
     
  2. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    "I'll see you again, Padme. Sooner than you think."

    That was rather... ominous. :p

    =D= I thought it was very well done, Ms. Max

    I would have liked to have seen more... can we have a continuation? [face_batting] Leaving us hanging like that is kind of cruel. :D
     
  3. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    That was amazing Jade_Max, sweet and cute and just awesome. I loved it.

    I would also love to read more from this universe.
     
  4. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    I think little Anakin used that pickup line better. :p
    My sentiments exactly! [face_laugh] I enjoyed it very much. I have to ask... are you sure you won't continue? ;) Are you Very, Very Sure? [face_mischief]
     
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I don't guess I need to say it, but I will anyway. Put me on the PM list! ;)

    Another great start! =D=
     
  6. Rhodna

    Rhodna Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2006
    I aboslutely love this - I was smiling through the whole thing! :D They seem even better suited for each other this way.

    Please, do continue! [face_praying]
     
  7. Knight-Ander

    Knight-Ander Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2002
    Once again you did an excellent job with my idea, Jade. =D=

    Loved how Anakin's "angel" line worked, but just not quite as well as he might have liked; him being Mr. Smooth one moment then stumbling over his workbench the next.

    Again, well done. :)
     
  8. Jaded_Rose

    Jaded_Rose Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2006
    Brentus, that is just cruel. Don't you know how many projects this lovely author has going on? The proper way to beg is simply to bombard her with more plot bunnies! ;)

    BAM - will Qui-Gon be overprotective from Ani's influence over Padme, since he isn't a cute little kid?

    WHACK - What is up with Shmi? Is she still there, or sold, or at the Lars'?

    POW - how does Padme deal with this fascination?

    KABLAMMO - will their romance happen quicker, slower or (gasp!) not at all.

    There. Don't you want to write more? [face_batting]

    But seriously, this was really awesome. Surprisingly, that silly line worked, especially with the awkwardness on both sides. Don't you just love teenagers?

    Remember my bunnies, if you ever decide to continue with this amazing story, you wonderful, crazy. brilliant author, you! (A little flattery never hurt anyome!)

    J_Ro
     
  9. obsessedwithSW

    obsessedwithSW Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    =D=
    Wonderful and full of promise!

    If I havent said so already sign me up for each and every story you write. I want to be o your pm list permanently!


    How many WIP can Jade_Max juggle before she cracks?[face_devil] It is sort of like guessing how may marbles in a jar.
     
  10. Jaded_Rose

    Jaded_Rose Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2006
    [face_batting] Jade_Max can juggle forever. Isn't that right? [face_batting]

    J_Ro
     
  11. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    I loved this. You captured that awkward teenage thing wonderfully. Smooth with his words one moment trying to impress a girl and then a bumbling fool the next. The ending made me raise an eyebrow. o_O Making plans to see her again is just sneaky but something I can see a teenage Anakin doing in that situation.

    Awesome work, as usual.
     
  12. Jade_Max

    Jade_Max Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2002
    Note: I blame the continuation of this story on Jaded_Rose for all the plot bunnies she spit out that wouldn?t leave me alone. *smirk*




    [b]BrentusofGath[/b] ? Ok, I gave in. I had intended to leave this as a Vignette and then BAM! Plot bunnies bit me from the left and right. Just think TMP with an older Anakin ? one that?s aware he sees things in the future, and has ?special powers?. He?s just not trained to use them.

    [b]Star_Angel[/b] ? Thanks :) I?ve decided to keep going with this. Hope you enjoy it!

    [b]leia_naberrie[/b] - *laughs* I think little Anakin used the pickup line better too *laughs* But then, teenage Anakin is still very much trapped between a child and becoming a man? but that?ll be explained later.

    [b]VaderLVR64[/b] - *laughs* No problem, Kim ? glad you?re enjoying it so far!

    [b]Rhodna[/b] ? Do continue? Don?t mind if I do ? thanks for reading!

    [b]Knight-Ander[/b] ? Aww shucks, thanks. It was such a cool idea, it just nibbled and nibbled until I couldn?t work on anything else so I had to work on it. I couldn?t resist making him the cross between his innocent younger self and the confident adult he eventually becomes. It?s fun ;)

    [b]Jaded_Rose[/b] - *runs screaming* NO NO NO! AHHHHH!!!!! I?ve been chomped! This is all your fault, I blame any future chapters on you! I haven?t been a teenager Anakin?s age for about 10 years, but I do remember how awkward it was. I also remember boys that that age ? I?ve a younger brother who?s just moved out of that phase.

    But damn you and your plot bunnies!

    lol, juggle forever ? you have too much faith in me *laughs*

    [b]obsessedwithSW[/b] - *chuckle* I?ll be sure to add you to my PM list for when I start new stories ? and update *chuckle* As for how many WIPs? I think my limit with the same pairing is 4 ? other than that, I?ve worked on as many as 12 WIPs ? but not all being posted at once *laughs*

    [b]Daenarrah[/b] ? Ah, is he making plans or is something else giving him insight and letting him know that it?s not the last time they?ll meet? *grin* TMP with hormones - this should be interesting.
     
  13. Jade_Max

    Jade_Max Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2002
    Chapter 2

    Anakin finished his work early and was sent home to rest as he had to be in early the following morning to resume working on Watto?s pod racer ? the racer he?d partially destroyed in the last race he?d participated in.

    He caught sight of the outlanders immediately; the girl especially. She was flat on her back being threatened by a very familiar Dug. Despite her prone position and the Jedi moving to intercede, Anakin could see the ire blazing from her eyes. The strange looking creature she?d been with was on the ground next to her and it didn?t take a genius to see that it was the creature who?d gotten them into the predicament.

    Anakin almost smile as he stepped in. ?Watch it, Sebulba,? he told the Dug in huttese, drawing his attention, ?They?re big time outlanders. I wouldn?t want anything bad to happen to you before we race again.?

    The Dug pushing himself upon his legs as high as he could go, but the diminutive stature of the Dug only came to Anakin?s chest, and the fury blazing in those black eyes was unmistakable. ?If you weren?t a slave, boy, I?d crush you here and now! You won?t walk away next time we race!?

    Anakin?s eyes narrowed. He knew better than to pick a fight with Sebulba, at least one in public. He slapped the Dug?s pointed fingers away from his chest. ?Yeah, it?d be a shame if you?d have to pay for me.?

    Sebulba snorted, moving back to the table where he?d been sitting prior to the whole incident. It was the table he always used when not racing. Anakin ignored him, crouching next to the prone young woman and her strange looking companion. Padmé was staring up at him in astonishment. Anakin switched back to basic, offering her his hand. ?I wouldn?t pick fights with beings from this city. It?s a good way to disappear - or end up a slave of the Hutts.?

    Padmé?s gaze disappeared over his left shoulder and Anakin saw the Jedi?s hand coming to rest on his shoulder. He managed not to flinch when that image came to pass a moment later and the strong, capable hand of the Jedi fell on his shoulder and squeezed. Just enough to give him a warning. ?Thank you for your help, young man.?

    Anakin helped Padmé to her feet as the Jedi moved beyond him and offered the strange looking creature his hand. He didn?t address the older man until everyone was on their feet. Finally, he turned, and met the cool eyes of the party's leader. ?It was nothing. Your friends just happened to pick the wrong Doug to have words with. Sebulba doesn?t take kindly to anyone but himself.?

    ?I?m Qui-Gon Jinn, this is Jar Jar Binks, and-?

    ?Padmé.? Anakin?s gaze drifted back to her - and found her staring at him, the color in her cheeks heightened. ?I know. We met at Watto?s. It?s nice to meet you, sir. All of you. I'm Anakin.? Anakin felt the Jedi?s gaze on him and forced his own to travel back to the older man. ?You all look like you?re a little lost, if you don?t mind me saying so.?

    Qui-Gon looked impassive, to Anakin's gaze, but he could feel the surprise the Jedi was quick to hide. He managed not to smirk; what would the Jedi think if he knew Anakin was capable of reading his carefully controlled emotions? Probably not too much, was the sour thought that followed. Jedi look out for their own, no one else. Anakin managed a shrug and an easy smile that he directed at the Jedi, even as his gaze lingered on the young woman. "I'd be happy to show you around; having local help means avoiding situations like that one."

    Qui-Gon looked at his companions and then finally nodded, though there was a wariness and a reluctance in the movement. "Any help you can offer would be much appreciated, Anakin."

    "This way. The hottest part of the day's coming up. Anyone who doesn't have to be out, isn't. Dealers are more relaxed once things start to cool down."

    "Does it ever get cold?" Padmé's question was curious.

    Anakin shrugged. "Cold enough. If you're out in the middle of the dunes at night the temperature plummet to below freezing. The settl
     
  14. Jaded_Rose

    Jaded_Rose Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2006
    [face_laugh] Jaded_Rose - *runs screaming* NO NO NO! AHHHHH!!!!! I?ve been chomped! This is all your fault, I blame any future chapters on you! I haven?t been a teenager Anakin?s age for about 10 years, but I do remember how awkward it was. I also remember boys that that age ? I?ve a younger brother who?s just moved out of that phase.

    But damn you and your plot bunnies!

    lol, juggle forever ? you have too much faith in me *laughs*

    [face_devil]

    First reply!

    Now to read...

    That was awesome! Now, aren't you glad I was evil? I know I was. [face_mischief] I love your new Anakin, he is filled with a fascinating mixture of cute little boy, confident young man, and bitter Force user. I also like the twist you've given his powers - extensive foresight, reading emotions even through shields, etc.

    Now, for more plot bunny attack! (Like you didn't have enough already :p )

    Does Anakin fit into a podracer well? What about a starfighter cockpit?

    If he does go to Naboo, will he be content to wait in a hanger? Methinks not

    How much will Mace Windu hate this Anakin? ;)

    Did Anakin have prior experience with Jedi, or is he just bitter?

    I love you sooooo much! [:D]

    J_Ro
     
  15. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    "No imposition. I don't invite those I don't want to have over. This way."

    [face_laugh] I'll bet. He's definitely a teenager. I remember having hormones like that. [face_mischief]

    Excellent continuation, Ms. Max

    pm update, perhaps? [face_batting]
     
  16. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Thanks for the PM! I'd like to keep getting them.

    It's interesting how the age thing alters the relationship dynamics. Qui Gon is wary on Padmé's behalf and she is starry eyed over Anakin, and not the other way around. Meanwhile, Jar Jar seems quite invisible. ;)


    edit: Never too late to correct a typo. :p
     
  17. obsessedwithSW

    obsessedwithSW Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    "No imposition. I don't invite those I don't want to have over. This way."

    The sand was already swirling about their feet, giving testimony to the swiftness of the storm's formation and a hint at its ferocity. Padmé's voice drifted to Anakin as he turned to see if they were following. "We don't have a choice, Qui-Gon. I, for one, have no desire to be caught out in the middle of a sand storm."

    The corner of Anakin's mouth kicked into a half-smile as Padmé turned to follow him. He wiped the grin off his face and turned, lifting one arm to protect his face as the sand began to swirl. He slitted his eyes, confident in the knowledge that the others were following, and slowly led the way back to his house.

    =D=

    You remember cocky teenaged boys well! I cant wait to hear all lines and smooth moves he tries on Padme back at his home. Remember AOTC?


     
  18. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    You must have a younger brother or something because you have the smitten, wanting to impress and cocky teenage boy down. Of course, it helps that he knows his way around and stuff. :p

    I'm really enjoying this older Anakin. He's more in tune with the Force and enjoys using that gift. He's just waiting for Qui-Gon to say something, isn't he?

    Love that there's more to this. It gives a nice twist to TPM. And on, the possibilities with this!
     
  19. Anakin_Panda

    Anakin_Panda Jedi Master

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2006
    I love your characterization of Ani. A little cocky, but not overly arrogant. Not whiney either. I hate whiney!Ani....
     
  20. randomangel22

    randomangel22 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2006
    Hey I just found this story today also [face_dancing] it seems that I keep on missing them [face_laugh]!!

    Please add me to the PM list ;)!!
     
  21. ehopepower

    ehopepower Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    A wonderful new piece of work from you. I think I have liked everything you have written, at least that I have read. I look forward to seeing how you take this story and make your own twists and turns with it. Please put me on your PM list also. Thanks! :)
     
  22. Jaded_Rose

    Jaded_Rose Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2006
    See, people love this story! Aren't you glad I have rabid attack bunnies? [face_batting]

    J_Ro
     
  23. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    You have no idea how happy I was when I saw that you would continue this. And I loved the new update. I love your characters in this, especially Anakin.

    Please keep me on the pm list.
     
  24. DarthSilious

    DarthSilious Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2006
    This story has a lot of promise. I look forward to seeing how it goes.

    Can I go on the PM update list please?
     
  25. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    A wonderful update! =D= I really love this story! :D
     
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