Saga Anger Leads To Hate: Anger Management With Darth Vader - Humour (Vader etal) Update 11/19

Again, thanks to everyone reading this tale that we are having such fun spinning!

LilyHobbitJedi - We do love the chaos! Can?t you see some smarmy peon in his little cubicle (much like mine at work) spinning the facts of history to make the Jedi live up to the traitor handle. Thanks so much for reading and for your comments.

Dark_Disciple - Ben seems to have a lot of time on his hands so I suspect he has put it to good use learning the ins and outs of the holonet. And the AU leap, you must have faith. Thanks for reading!

Ceridwen1977 - Aw honey, you are no more confused than we are, trust me! Thanks for reading.

Mrs_Anakin_Skywalker - So glad you enjoyed the update. And Catana needed to come out and play so thanks.

darth_frared - you may be right about the dubious - our nature is pretty clear! Glad you enjoyed cocky Luke

JediFalcon - I hope the air conditioning in that suit is working - you never know with all the trouble he?s had with techies!

VA_Parky - Thank you for the wonderful comments. We are loving that unsung hero and go ahead and squeeze Vader. I think he needs a hug now!

Anakin_Heartbreaker - Can you just imagine Vader?s expression with nostrils flaring, eyes popping out, much like his rant on Mustafar! Actually, that?s a very nice visual except for the burnt face image.

Terra_Wan_Kenobi - Thanks for reading and yes, we too are wondering about this strange ObiLuvsVadr! Hmmmm......

little_miss_jedi - Always thought Luke looked like an uncomfortable priest that black outfit. Glad you enjoyed!

KELIA - Wonder which department is in charge of that the encyclopedia. Glad you liked hearing from Luke although it is doubtful that Vader will have been.

Darth_Father_In_Law - Thank you and we?re so glad you are enjoying this. Wouldn?t you just love to see the look under that mask when Vader read Luke?s comments about Ben? And AnakinGirl is the one to thank for ObiLuvsVadr - just wait until we hear from her..er, I mean him!

-Courtney- glad you liked it!

hyperspace_police - glad you could catch up. And thanks for reading!

MariaMaxwell - Vader does still have issues with the AU Padme! Glad you had a giggle!

MoeTheren - There is something strangely appealing about that uniform! And don?t worry about Ben and Luke - we remember the TOS! So glad you are finding this funny and don?t forget, this is an AU!

Nienna_Narmolanya - Oh dear! I hope your techies are better than Vader?s or will you hold us liable for a new keyboard? And it?s doubtful that either of us would mind Vader on our trail! Thanks for reading.

 

Oh my! The creepy Emperor? Well, you're right about that Luke!

I don't think Vader likes Ben very much...especially with all that time he spends with Luke. And especially after Luke said he has more fun with a lonley old man then with girls...

Does not sound good...

If you have a PM list, please add me!

Great job as always!

 

Just posting here to put it on the recent posts list.

 

I came back to this after a long time far far away

It's still funny

 

I had to bring this up. Are you guys planning on continuing? Please do!!! You can't leave us hanging!

 

Teeheheheheheee...

 

ObiLuvsVader? Would that be acertain exiled Jedi Master who was once a general in the Clone Wars, decent pilot, wise teacher (too bad you didn't actually listen to him, Helmethead!), good friend (again...) and currently hangs out on the most famous dustball in the galaxy? The one "farthest from the bright center of the universe"?

Lord Vader, I do believe that you hit your head before you got fried. And I mean that most respectfully. (smiles innocently)

 

Sir? Am I about to get choked for my previous message?

 

Oh dear! I have missed some replies! Sorry wonderful readers. I just had a nudge from one of you which I did appreciate. We haven?t forgotten about this. DRL just got the better of us. Expect an update soon, hopefully by the end of the week!

anakin_luver ? Vader might just have it right to be concerned about Luke! Hmmm?but really that Emperor! Thanks for reading and you?ll be pm?d.

ceridwen ? thanks for reading hun! Good to see you back even though I?ve been far far away for a long time too!

Exxaciel ? well, there will be no choking of our readers, I?ll have you know! *slinks away just in case Vader actually heard* - okay, whew, he didn?t. I think you may just hear from that mysterious ObiLuvsVader very soon! Thanks for reading and the teehee. Oh and for the nudge!!

 

No problemo. Any time.

(glances around for imposing figure in black armor)
Are you sure he didn't hear me? I mean, the connection seems pretty obvious. I wonder if there is a correlation between use of the Dark Side and the status of the logic centers in the brain...
(gah, now I sound like a Vulcan...)

 

(looking around curiously for update)

Yeah, yeah, I know. "Patience is a virtue" and all that. But it's kinda hard to be patient when you're eager for an update...

 

Listen, PadwanKayla and AnakinGirl05, I was just wondering if I should post my own reply letter here, or should I just send it on over to Luke to give to one of you? I would prefer to just give it a go myself, but I will honor your wishes of course...

 

Well...ObiLuvsVadr! I'm a little surprised to see you here! Isn't this blowing your cover? After all the Dark Lord is looking for you! But since you've brazzenly taken the first step, both AnakinGirl05 and I see no reason why you shouldn't send it directly to him. Besides, I've noticed that Luke does tend to forget things like passing on messages. Typical teenager I suppose. Caught up in his own world. Quite frankly, I think he's not quite right in the head, if you know what I mean. Takes after his father a bit in that way. But you won't mention that I said that, in your letter to Vader, I mean. You won't, will you? That's just between you and I, right? He does have a fondness for the old Force choke and quite frankly, I'm not ready to become one with the Force yet!

Yours
PadwanKayla

 

Well, well, Vader, or should I just go ahead and call you Anakin? I know the real you after all, or thought I did anyway, just as you have finally discovered the real me. Quite frankly, I was disappointed with how long it took you and your IT crew to figure it out. I thought you were smarter than this; apparently not.

I have been tracking you through Luke for quite some time now, you realize. Luke, good kid, handsome kid, not much upstairs though. In fact he reminds me of you at his age, though he is not nearly as interested in girls as you were, as in Padme. Heard she married old Master Windu by the way, how is that for a kick in the stomach, old friend? Well, serves you right for trying to choke her on Mustafar and all. I thought she was going to die, I really did, but then this incredible nurse droid started speaking some foreign language unknown even to me and suddenly she made this miraculous recovery. It was incredible really, as was the fact that both Luke and Leia, who were about two months premature in human standard time, popped out looking like full term babies! That Padme sure was something, I tell you! But boy was she angry with you. Can't say I blame her, Anakin, or did we decide I would call you Vader? How about just Darth?

Oh, before I forget I have to thank you for sending that lovely bounty hunter to see me. I know you have been wondering where she was, and that you have sent half of your manpower out looking for her and some money she supposedly owes you, but let me ease your mind. She is here, unharmed and with me. Think you are the only one who ever had game with the ladies? Oh, nod your head you old crone - hate the game, not the player. Besides, I was spending far too much time in the company of that son of yours, it just wasn't natural. Back to the topic at hand, where was I? Oh yes, right, Catana. Yes, Darth, you might want to teach your minions to shield from the old Jedi Mind trick, they all fell for it. Even that "You want to go home and rethink your life" line, you know how I always loved to use that one. And as far as her bringing you any money, something about having to pay your Anger Management therapist (which, haha, I have to ask, how is that going?), well I wouldn't count on that. I used it to buy new lamps, I had these horrid old things in my little hovel, I gather they were about twenty or so years old. Can't recall where I got them.

Now that we have established that you know who I am, and I can come clean with Luke, finally (the poor thing is just desperate from some adult male companionship - I think he has father issues), let us move on to the topic at hand, shall we? I am not going to go back and re-address all of the issues you had with me, that is not why I am here. I am here to ask you what it is you want me to do? Come on old buddy, they are at the brink of a rebellion here! A new Jedi Order!! Luke is pretty handy with that lightsaber, and that Leia, well she has more testosterone than most of the boys Luke has been hanging out with on TFN. And I have to tell you, I really admire that boyfriend of hers, Solo I think his name is. Uses a blaster, a bit uncivilized if you ask me, but overall, a great guy.

So tell me, Darth, can we be done with all of this? Can I get off of this God Forsaken perpetual desert of a planet called Tatooine? I am not long for this life now; I can feel it. Well that, and Qui-Gon told me so. It is so irritating that he can do that. He comes to see me in the weird, eerie form of a blue ghost thing - a little unsettling I tell you.

I await your response.

Good talking to you.
Obi

 

I thought you were smarter than this; apparently not.

I have been tracking you through Luke for quite some time now, you realize.Luke, good kid, handsome kid, not much upstairs though.




Aahhhhh! ROFL. When I read this, I couldn't restrain myself

And about creepy Force Ghost

 

that was great more soon

 

yay back on form my pretties

well finally we know its Obi all along, the sly dog

but its sweet that he wants to make up with Vader... I look forward to seeing Vader's reply. Will he say yes? Or will he combust the computer in a rage???

 

I thought you were smarter than this; apparently not.

I've always loved those lines in ROTS, love how you used it here.


Luke, good kid, handsome kid, not much upstairs though.


Uses a blaster, a bit uncivilized if you ask me, but overall, a great guy.



Well that, and Qui-Gon told me so. It is so irritating that he can do that. He comes to see me in the weird, eerie form of a blue ghost thing - a little unsettling I tell you.

Yay, Qui-Gon is a ghostie!

I really can't wait to see what Vader's reaction is going to be. Wonderful update!!

 

*sprints into post already doing a happy dance*

Yayayayayay! An update! And it was a great one too - I nearly fell off my chair from the very start when I saw the username - so incredibly funny!! You two just know how to tickle my funny bone, that's for sure!!

This passage had me gasping for breath:

In fact he reminds me of you at his age, though he is not nearly as interested in girls as you were, as in Padme. Heard she married old Master Windu by the way, how is that for a kick in the stomach, old friend? Well, serves you right for trying to choke her on Mustafar and all. I thought she was going to die, I really did, but then this incredible nurse droid started speaking some foreign language unknown even to me and suddenly she made this miraculous recovery. It was incredible really, as was the fact that both Luke and Leia, who were about two months premature in human standard time, popped out looking like full term babies! That Padme sure was something, I tell you!

Heeee!! That is so true! Padme barely looked pregnant and then managed to pop out not one, but TWO three-month old kids! That girl really is impressive!

Oh, I'm so glad to see you guys are back with more on this story - it's priceless! Can't wait for more - thanks for the PM!

 

Glad to see you back in action ladies! Can't wait for Vader's response.

 

Think you are the only one who ever had game with the ladies?

It's ObiLuvsVader!!! And an update! Absolutely hilarious as usual. I wonder what Vader will have to say about all this. I can't imagine it being a very pretty scene, what with his anger management issues...

More please? And soon?

 

Yes, Darth, you might want to teach your minions to shield from the old Jedi Mind trick, they all fell for it. Even that "You want to go home and rethink your life" line, you know how I always loved to use that one. And as far as her bringing you any money, something about having to pay your Anger Management therapist (which, haha, I have to ask, how is that going?), well I wouldn't count on that. I used it to buy new lamps, I had these horrid old things in my little hovel, I gather they were about twenty or so years old. Can't recall where I got them.

Love that mind trick line, and Obi with the lamps, he's still obsessed with interior decorating. So great to have you guys back doing what you do best. The jig is up and now we know it was Obi-Wan after all, he's a crafty fellow. Can't wait for Vader's response. This has been a great little ride ladies, and I will be sad when it's over...But till then, keep it up! You guys are great.

 

Obi winds up with the bounty hunter!

I love it!

But Padme and Mace Windu?



Ewwwww....

Great update

 

Great Update

 

Oh brilliant ObiLuvsVadr!

(the poor thing is just desperate from some adult male companionship - I think he has father issues)

Oh too good!

Wonderful, wonderful!