Saga Ani and the In-Laws..."The Mighty Rambler" and "Snot!"

WARNING! SEVERE MALE CRINGING WILL RESULT FROM READING THIS POST!

Anyway...

Title: Ani and the In-Laws

Stars: Anakin, Padme, and the Naberries

Time: Ain't it obvious?

Summary: Anakin is living with the In-Laws

Perspective: Anakin Remembering Everything 25 Years Later to a newly married Luke


****************************************************************************************


Well, Luke, let me tell you about how it all started. May you have better luck than me...

Padme and I had decided that we were ready for a family life. So what better way to get ready than move in with Pame's family.

I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable making a family start in the house of Padme's family. Creepy.

Well, we decided to start one anyway, so we swang by Padme's royal apartment in the Palace. 'Just going to grab a couple of things' she said. That was 2 hours ago. Padme's talking with her best friend Dorme about what fashion was best for the type of day. By the time they were done, they would have to start over.

Well, a couple of hours later, Padme finally emmerged wearing a outfit so stunning I'd wait for another 4 hours to see a dress half as good. I told her so, even. I thought it sounded good.

Oh stop, cringing. I was 21. Dumb by breed.

Oh, but that wasn't the worst. "Ani," she said. "We were in there for 20 minutes."

Well, after making a true ass of myself, I shut up the rest of the way to the house. As soon as we opened the door, two photon torpedoes shot out.

"Hello, Pooja. Hello, Ryoo," I said as they threw thmeselves at me. Unfortunately, Pooja was at crotch height. Understandable mistake. Only one person in the house was a male besides me. Didn't stop the pain, though.

"Pooja," Padme's sister, Sola, laughed. "You're killing Uncle Ani." Pooja let go a moment later.

"Come on, you two. And Anakin, the cure for a busted groin is dinner. Come in and have some, you two love birds!" Sola winked at me.

Well, we sat down to a delicious meal. Of course, everything tastes good after waiting outside your wife's bedroom waiting for her to come out already.

Ow! Padme, don't wap me! I just told the truth! Ow!

Well, after 20 minutes anything tastes good. We were chatting when an odd point came up.

Jobal, Padme's mom, said, "Well, where are the two of you going to sleep? No room in the house is big enough."

For one horrible second, I thought she meant...well, for only a second. I never gave thought to it before. I'm sure Padme's bed was specifically designed not to hold 2 people.

I then volunteered to sleep on the couch until some other solution was found. Padme giggled. "You're not in trouble, Ani."

Well, I've always thought of the couch as the most useful thing you'll ever find, but to a gal, it's capital punishment. Remember that, Luke.

Pooja and Ryoo said they had some stuff to show me, so after dinner they led me outside. There I saw a huge blanket and every doll item imaginable on it.

"Come play with us, Uncle Ani," They cried. "Momma promised that you'd play with us after dinner." I'd have Sola's head.

Well, I sat down on the ground and noted that they wanted me to actually play as a doll. I'm telling you, don't get on a little girl's bad side. Word from the Wise.

Well, after Bille met Jode at the store, where they bought shoes, Bille saw a really neat space ship. So Bille balsted off into the depths of the Theed Lake where she met a sea monster who just loved to go shoe shopping. So, naturally, the monster, Bille, and Jode goe shoe shopping. That's what it all comes down to with those girls. Shopping.

Ow! I'm just explaining the facts of life, honey! Ow!

Ok, where was I? Oh, yes. Well, after all of that, Ryoo asked me a question.

"Boy or a girl?" Ryoo asked as she moved the sea monster about, trying on new shoes.

"What?" I was confused.

"Are you gonna have a boy or a girl? Momma says that Auntie Padme is gonna have a baby. A boy or a girl?"

I was thinking of ways that I could torture Sola without making a mess

 

LMAO!!!

And the part at the end, about the Corellian and his Wookiee friend!!!

 

*dies laughing*

Part... about... couch... torture... Sola...

*dies laughing*

 

JediMasterKobe: Thought people would like that!

Agent_Jaid: I thought it was good myself.

I don't have time to post right now, but later!

 

lmao!!! Can't wait to see Ani's reaction to Han... lol... too cute!!! Poor Ani and his nieces!!!!


Awesome job! More soon! Please!!

 

Oh stop, cringing. I was 21. Dumb by breed.

Too true!

JS

 

this is funny! I suppose Anakin never turned in this?

Who is Luke marrying?

 

Poor Anakin, when young girls are around, wear protection, or just stand behind your wife.

 

A-Windsor: I hope to get some Leia and Han in there! Thanks!

Jazz_Skywalker: Thanks! I liked that line a lot, too! It means a lot to me for you to like it. I really enjoy your work.

Jedi_Liz: No turn! Luke has just married Mara Jade (but she is not under empire infleunce, No empire existed in my world)

Dev_Binks: Yep!

Anyway...

****************************************************************************************

Thanks for the tea, honey. Yes, that was a bad joke, but I thought it was funny.

Well, where was I? Oh yes, After the cake.

Ryoo and Pooja just barely managed to finish their pieces, and said that they just might be able to eat mine, too. Needless to say, I had dried fruit.

Well, the kids decided to go and take a bath (more like there were sedated), so it was just us grown-up people. Ruwee, Padme's father, said that he expected that the Naboo Robo-Ballers won that day. He and I were talking about the Robo-Ball League when it happened.

Pooja ran out of the bathroom, entirely naked, screaming "No! No!" She dove behind the couch I was sitting on. Sola leapt after her. Next thing I knew, Pooja was running out from under the couch. She jumped up on Padme's lap and started screeching "Make her stop! Make her stop, Auntie Padme! She's trying to wash my hair!"

I laughed and said, "The sooner one does, the sooner ones done." My joke was lost on her. She was dragged kicking and screaming back to the tub.

"Are all kids like that?" I asked. No was the answer. Many were worse.

****************************************************************************************

Sorry I can't say more. I've sprained my ankle, done 2 reports as well as algebra, packed for a trip, and begun writing a story that I will submit to the Archives.

Trying! You'll get more toworrow! I promise!

 

Funny story.

Take care of your ankle and good luck with your classes.

 

Well, the kids decided to go and take a bath (more like there were sedated)

Wonderful! Btw, thanks for the compliment!

JS

 

Thanks LS!

Thanks JS!

Bad news, people. After this, I won't be able to post until Tuesday. Going on a trip.

Be strong...

****************************************************************************************

Well, that night we were still discussing the problem of where Padme and I would be sleeping. Her room wasn't big enough, and I wasn't allowed to sleep on the couch.

We were pondering and pondering. I could have just grabbed my sleep mat from my pack, but Padme insisted I sleep on an actual bed. "OK! You sleep on the mat."

Wap! The pillow came down over my head. Padme was not in the mood for my jokes. Of course she never is...

Ow! Perfect example! Ow! I speak the truth and the truth alone! Ow!

Well, we finally decided that we had no idea what to do. I then exclamed, "My sleep mat is bigger than the bed!"

They all agreed that was the best course of action. Then there was the problem of where to put the sleep mat. Padme's room wasn't big enough to be it's biggest size. Padme reluctantly agreed to sleeping on the living room floor.

After midnight, just as I was almost asleep, Padme nudged me. I groaned and flipped over. "What is it, Padme?"

"Just was wanting to talk, I guess. I can't sleep." She then kissed me on the cheek. "I'm nervous about trying to raise a family."

I kissed her aand then told her that it would be fine. And we had a long time to go before we became-

What the hell? Padme, who's at the door? Leia's boyfriend! Get your lightsaber, Luke. OK, go and study. I'll handle this.

****************************************************************************************

An hour later. This chapter will be told in a different perspective then before. But only slightly.

****************************************************************************************

"Well, that was an adventure," I muttered as you came down the stairs. "Then I started telling you what happened..."

"Leia!" Padme called. "Han is at the door!" Only a moment later you sister was at the door.

"Hi, Han! Come on in!" Han came in and hung his blaster on the coat rack.

"Daddy!" Leia cried. "Come say hello to Daddy, Han." The two of them strode in, much closer then I would have liked. True, I'd rather him a mile away, but I can restrain myself."

"Hello, sir. How are you today?" Han began. He's perfectly polite towards me when I'm in the room. I've heard him complain to Leia about me.

Han unconsciously rubbed his neck. I guess he's heard about the many boys I've suffocated. I've always let them go, but with him...

I also saw his hand in his jacket's pocket. It was obviously fiddling with something. You'll find out what in a minute.

"Leia, could your father and I have a moment? I'd also like your mother in here actually. Thanks!" Han called nervously.

"What can we do for you, Han dear?" Padme asked. She's always liked him.

Han slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out a box. A small velvet covered box. He cleared his throat and opened it.

Inside was a ring. A wedding ring. Padme gasped. I was seriously tempted to make Han gasp. For air.

"I've come to ask if I had permission to...marry your daughter." Padme looked delighted.

"You have mine, Han!" She hugged him. She then looked at me. Padme knew that even though she's a Senator, I was the final voice in this debate.

"How long have you been dating?" About a year. "Do you think that's enough time?" Yes. "Do you love her?" Yes. "Does she love you?" I think so.

Leia then burst into the room. "Yes, I do!"

Han smirked. He then was trying desperately to breath.

"Daddy!" I let him go just before he would have passed out.

I turned away and muttered, "Yes. If you can behave yourself. No crook is marrying my daughter."

I sighed. I then went into a mediative trance while Han insisted that he would. Bunch of lies, but I can just stop the wedding on the last day...

Well, Luke, You should get back to your place. I tell you more tomorrow.

********************************

 

lmao! Ani tried to kill Han!!!! lol.... so we know Anakin just in general doesn't like Han, his roguish ways, etc. But how does Daddy feel about that age difference?!!!! (personally, my dad would absolutely flip at first)


tooooooo cute!!! toooooo much fun!!!

 

What two three years?

 

Han and Leia?
9 years

 

Poor Han!!! LOL! Shades of Vader there.

 

This is so great! I love fics that are sort of no-empire things. Does that make sense? Anyway, I can't wait for more!!!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Brilliant KSA!!! Love it!

 

Hahah! This is great!

 

UP!!!!

 

Anakin's kind of like my dad--I walked up to the car, holding my boyfriend's hand so he could meet my dad last Friday (to say nothing of the smooching we'd done before) and my dad had a COW about it later. I love this! It's good comic relief.

 

Thanks to everyone for responding! You know somwthing is doing well when people up!

And about Han's age, in my world he is only about 3 years older than her (maybe more, but Han lies a lot about his age to make it harder to track him).

I will now give you posties. Sorry I couldn't earlier but the internet was down for me.

****************************************************************************************

Have some pancakes, Luke. Here's the syrup. Now I'll continue the tale.

Well, before Han came and completely disrupted the evening (I'm tempted to disrupt his lungs), I was telling you about that night.

We talked throught the night. She told me what she expected about children and I her. When morning fanally came we were both exhausted, so we went to sleep.

I guess it was about 30 minutes before Ryoo and Pooja came out. The two hurled themselves on the sleepmat. Ryoo grabbed a remote and flipped on the holoprojector.

"What is going- OW!" I yelled as Pooja threw herself into my lap.

"It's cartoons, Uncle Ani!" She called. "Momma said that you wouldn't mind if we watched THE WEIRD WOOKIE MAN show with you."

Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola. Kill Sola.

Well, it was ok I guess. The girls were fine and I loved them very much, so it was fine. Until the theme song...

WOOKIE MAN, WOOKIE MAN, DOES WHATEVER A WOOKIE CAN! HE'S WEIRD, THAT WOOKIE MAN! THAT'S WHY WE CALL HIM WEIRD WOOKIE MAN! STRONGER THAN A GUNDARK, TOUGHER THAN A SHARK! FASTER THAN A GROWN CATIDALA, SMARTER THAN SENATOR AMIDALA! WOOKIE MAN! HE'S WOOKIE MAN!

The show was recently made and Nubian as well. Padme was as red as a Nubian rose. Pooja kept humming it over and over. I looked at the name of the writer of the theme song and guess who it was.

Sola's husband Darro. Kill Darro. Kill Sola. Kill Darro. Kill Sola.

****************************************************************************************

See you! Bedtime (Blast it!).

AUNTOR'S NOTE: Darro is a character in a fic I'm writing for the archives. Though he isn't in THE SKYCRAWLERS, her gets several mentions.

 

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I give you post.

Also (shameless advertising here) if you like this fic, I have one called THOUGH OBI'S EYES that is in desperate need of visitors.

****************************************************************************************

Well, then Wookie Man nearly got caught so Pooja leapt into the air. She came straight down.

"OW!" I cried. "This keeps happening, we can kiss a family goodbye."

"Ani, you're ok! Girls, can you watch where you step with your Uncle please. He's fragile in certain areas."

I wapped her on the head with a pillow for that. "I was going easy on you."

"There are very few levels, Anakin."

"Dearest, you saw my weakest."

"Body part? That I can agree with."

"You weren't courageous either."

"You're certainly not intimadating."

"Maybe I'll show you how..."

I stopped realizing that Sola was at the door. I went bright pink. Padme did, too.

"Unique arguement! It could go on The Jerro Springe Show."

"You watch that junk?"

"My instincts tell me to."

"My instincts tell me it stinks."

"Ooh..."

"Quiet!" Ryoo's cries cut off Sola's response to my wit.

What wit? Padme...

"The show's going on!" Ryoo continued. "Momma, can we have breakfast?"

"Well, maybe, I might consider giving you food. Or not," Sola said mischievously. "As soon as the program is done, cuddle up with your Uncle Ani."

Kill Sola...

They obeyed the wicked witch's orders. It wasn't that bad, I guess. Then Pooja said,

"Uncle Ani doesn't know, Aunt Padme. Boy or girl?"

Not that again.

Padme answered, "I don't know yet."

"I hope the baby is a girl," Pooja said. "I'd understand her better that way than if she was a boy."

Ryoo then said, "When are you gonna have the baby? You've been married for forever."

I went as pink as-

What the-? Han? Twirling Lightsabers, him again?!

****************************************************************************************

Hey people! Responses welcome!

Twirling Lightsabers is a SW version of dang it all or blast it.

 

Kill Sola...
Only Anakin would tempt fate by killing his sister-in-law.