Saga Another Victory (A young Lord Vader on a mission from the Emporer) Chapter 2 added 4/6/04

This story is my first attempt at fan fiction, so please bear with me. I will continue it if there is any interest. I just thought it would be cool to see a young Darth Vader really kicking butt for the Empire, and to see why he has the reputation that he does. Set 10-15 years before ANH. I know there is SOME corny stuff here, I couldnt think of better names. I look forward to feedback, so if you read it, PLEASE, let me know what you thought of it. Good, bad, or neutral, whatever! You only get better from criticism!

WARNING! SOME PARTS ARE SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC. THIS IS LORD VADER ON THE RAMPAGE, AFTER ALL!!

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Sitting snugly in the cockpit of his fighter, Darth Vader turned off his targeting computer. Machines were inferior to the Force, and he wished to enjoy this moment. After all, it wasn?t often he had the chance to fly anymore. The Rebel spy in the small ship just ahead had managed to find out certain locations vital to the Empire?s war machine, locations that Lord Sidious didn?t want made public just yet, and Lord Vader had been sent to take care of the matter personally. When the Star Destroyer ?Eliminator? he commanded caught up with the small, maneuverable ship the Rebel was using, the Rebel somehow managed to keep JUST out of range of the tractor beam and its turbo-lasers, so naturally Lord Vader took advantage of the situation. For a normal pilot, the Rebel ship easily outmatched one small fighter, but a well-placed shot could render it helpless, and Lord Vader was anything but a normal pilot.

?The Rebel is exceptionally skilled?, Lord Vader intoned over the commlink, ?but will soon be neutralized?. Vader banked his fighter sharply to the right and increased his speed, closing in for the kill. ?Lord Vader, I respectfully urge you to use caution, as we are now well outside of the Empire?s borders?, was the response by Commander Kallin, the Executive Officer of the Eliminator. ?I am well aware of our position, Captain.? Vader sensed something in the Force, and quickly pulled up. The Rebel ship suddenly went into a nose-dive, followed by a flash of blinding red light, then another. It was an ambush!! ?Lord Vader, a large Republic cruiser has just de-cloaked to starboard!? alerted Kallin. ?Disable it immediately, Commander! I will continue pursuit of the smaller vessel. You are not to destroy that ship, I want the officers alive for questioning!?

This was not good. Vader?s mission was to destroy the spy before the information could be passed a long to the rest of the Alliance. So, at least the crew of the cruiser knew of the location by now, but surely they were too far out of range to communicate with the bulk of their forces. The Eliminator changed heading to fire on the Rebel cruiser, and Lord Vader was aware of the flashes as the two ships began the exchange. He turned his attention quickly back to the other vessel, which was now almost out of range, far below him. Putting his fighter into a dive, he gave silent tribute to the Force, for had he not felt the small tremor, he surely would have been destroyed by these well-equipped Rebels.

His target was quickly moving towards a small moon in the distance. He pushed his fighter?s engines to the limit, and both ships were soon just outside of orbiting range of the moon. Lord Vader allowed his anger at these rebels to permeate him, and felt the rush of power it gave him from the Dark Side. He then fired one shot from a distance that would, in all other circumstances, be nothing but a futile attempt, but his shot rang true, and the Rebel ship immediately spun out of control. ?All too easy? he intoned in his menacing, booming voice. ?Captain, have you disabled the Rebel cruiser yet?? ?Yes, Lord Vader?, came the response, ? we have disable their main engines and they have made no further aggressive moves?. Victory, once again, Vader thought. Soon these rebels would no longer be a threat. ?I am returning to the Eliminator, Captain. I will personally lead the boarding party.? He turned his attent

 

Goos story so far.I'm just gonna make a suggestion though to maybe help you get more people to read it. Y'know how you have sort of large paragraphs?Well, something you might think about doing is making them a little shorter.Like don't delete anything, because it's really good, just space it.

Do you get what I'm saying? Just a suggestion

But a very great start overall.I liked it!

 

Hey, no problem at all, I appreciate the feedback!! You seem worried that I will be offended.

I will try to tidy it up a bit for an easier read. Thanks man!

 

?I am not a patient man, nor do I hold pity in my heart for anyone. I will say no more, rebels.?

I can so easily picture him saying that.

In any case, YAY! A Vader story! Great job so far. Hope for more soon.

 

OK, here goes Chapter 2. Rather short, I know. PLEASE give me your feedback and let me know you read it. If you want me to continue, tell me!
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Chapter 2

Lord Vader made his way through the long, gray corridors of the Imperial ship, followed by half of his detachment of soldiers. He had assigned Commander Kallin to research the surrounding area and warn him of any potential threats to Imperial presence. So far, it appeared that this remote area of the Galaxy was also desolate, save for this moon, the body it orbited, and the star which held them both. If anything else was here, it was too small to register on their sensors.

He stopped at the lift door and waited. ?Use caution on the surface. Our scans have revealed no life forms, yet the Rebel spy is almost certainly there.? he warned his troops. The party entered the lift and joined the other half of the squad in the Docking Bay holding Lord Vader?s shuttle. Vader reached out in the Force and felt no warnings, no tremors that made him feel that he was in any danger, and felt confident, as usual, that he would be victorious for his master. Once aboard, he gave the order to make for the moon?s surface and do a final scan for life forms.

As the shuttle descended, the report came from the pilot. ?Still no life form readings from the moon, mi?lord?. ?Very well, Lt. Land on the surface in the place of your choosing. The Force is all the guidance I shall need to deal with this annoyance?. The shuttle came to a gentle touchdown, and the hatch opened in a cloud of steam, hissing as the ramp came down.

Lord Vader walked slowly down and surveyed the landscape. The area where the ship came down was almost flat, but surrounded by sharp peaks as tall as the trees of Endor. The rock here was a reddish-brown, and the whole place had the feel of someplace that had been deserted for a millennia. The sky was a greenish-blue, like dirty water. Vader couldn?t feel it, but the sensors told him that the winds were calm with a slight breeze to the NE. His sensors also registered countless other things about the atmosphere, more than enough to tell him that this planet would not support human life. He was followed by his troops in their signature white uniforms, holding formation behind him. He reached out in the Force, certain that there was something not readily apparent on this moon. Yes, yes?.there it was, very faint. ?There are life forms beneath the surface of this moon. Eliminator, complete a scan of this body and map the geology below the surface?

?Right away, mi?lord? quickly came the response from Commander Kallin.


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Whew -- I wouldn't mess with Vader.

I don't think the names you chose are corny at all.