Appearances- (late JA) Very small update 6-30-02

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Alli-Wan, Oct 27, 2000.

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  1. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Dear All,

    As I mentioned in the "Jedi Dreams" thread, while I was home with a cold, I began developing some ideas and scenes I had floating around in my head. I decided to post what I had (however short) to see what kind of response I?d get. (Never fear, I am not stopping "Jedi Dreams;" I just didn?t work on it at home because that file is formatted for a Mac, and my computer at home is a PC which is not on the web. (This will be remedied during the Tax-Free Computer Week in my state, but sadly, not until February.) In any case, you didn?t need to know all that.

    As for the story, I?d rate this one PG-13 (or at least that?s my intention). It is much more adult than "Jedi Dreams" and the characters are older and more adult issues will be addressed. (As for humor content, there is one dirty joke planned, which will be referred to several times. Basically, it was inspired by the Ewan McGregor?s infamous comment about his ?lightsabre,? so if you can handle that, the rest of the story should be fine. However, knowing me, we might not even get to that part for years, so if you start the story now, you may be old enough to find it inoffensive by the time I actually get there.) In any case, I didn?t want readers too young or sensitive to such material to come over from "Jedi Dreams" and expect the same kind of story. This isn?t it.

    I don?t think the content will be a problem with this forum in general, but if anyone is offended by the content (or anything else) let me know. This story is one of three floating around in my head which deals with how normal people react to and interact with Jedi, ("Jedi Dreams" being the first.)

    (Now maybe I should get to the story because I think the disclaimer is longer than what I?ve got so far.)

    --Alli-Wan, Queen of Iffy (with an Iffy new beginning.)

    Appearances

    * * *

    "Weapons! Please check your weapons at the gate. You may NOT leave the terminal without checking your weapons." Clerise rolled her eyes. It was the same every season. (Why don?t they just get a droid to say it? They always say the same announcement over and over.)

    "Hurry Clerise! Make haste!" her tall thin companion hissed in her ear. "I don?t want you exposed to this . . . riff-raff any longer than absolutely necessary. " Straightening up, his cold gray eyes scanned the crowd, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Clerise followed his gaze. (Riff-raff? It?s just the same people who are here every year.) Shrugging slightly, Clerise regarded he man?s slightly wary and disgusted countenance for a moment until he turned back to face the front of the inspection line and began dragging her along by the arm behind him. "Every moment we waste here is another moment your mother and sister are left to themselves." The line stopped moving and he turned back to face her. "You know what happens when we leave them to their own devices."

    Clerise made a face. (They actually have fun on vacation?) A black and silver eyebrow began to rise, waiting for her dutiful response.

    "Yes, Father." (Nothing.) The eyebrow returned to its accustomed place as he pressed his lips together for a moment, the closest he ever got to an actual smile.

    "Indeed. And we have much to so and only two months to do it in." Without waiting for another ?Yes, Father,? Gilded turned to glare at the one remaining passenger before them in line.

    "Please remember to check all of your weapons. It is illegal to carry weapons beyond the terminal. All of your weapons will be checked and stored in the terminal for the duration of your stay and will be returned to you when you leave the planet. Weapons which must be checked include but are not limited to blasters, projectiles, stun guns, lightsabres, and personal electrical or chemical dischargers." Clerise grinned. The officials, like always, were very thorough. (Stun guns? Lightsabres? Why would anyone bring a lightsabre on vacation?)

    "I really don?t know why we are forced to wait on this line. Do we really look like the kind of people who would carry suc
  2. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Hey, I like it! More soon, please!
  3. Julie Moderator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 1998
    star 5
    Good start Alli-Wan! You gave an excellent introduction to your characters.
  4. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Well, you've got my interest. I'm ready for more. ;-)
  5. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    This is all I have written so far, but I will get back to this, and to "Jedi Dreams." I promise. Glad you've liked it so far, and thanks for the encouragement. --AWK

    * * *
    "Clerise! Clerise!" a loud, boisterous voice called from the courtyard below. "Put down that datapad and come out here! We know you?re in there!" With a sigh, Clerise shoved the last of her packed clothes into the bureau and walked out ontot the balcony outside her room. Of all the things she enjoyed about these annual summer holidays, having a room with a balcony was surely the most savored. Most of the time.

    "Jacey, Jacey, Jacey. Such ladylike manners." Clerise smiled at the low, faintly nasal voice?s admonishment. Some things never changed.

    "Shut up Willow!" Never changed. "CLE-"

    "I?m here! I?m here!" Jacey?s blue eyes immediately lit up as she caught sight of Clerise?s face above her. Willow tried to appear cool and unconcerned, but the smile tugging at her the corner of her lips gave her away. Clerise grinned. "You know Jacey, you and Willow could just knock on the door like everybody else." Jacey?s impish smile widened. "Besides, if you keep up the yelling, my father may send out the hounds." Even Willow laughed at the familiar joke. The truth of the matter was the Gilded didn?t keep any hounds, rather his wife did, and far from being guard hounds, the pampered little things were little more than balls of fluff with noses and legs. The only danger from encountering the little dears seemed to be nausea from their excessive adorableness.

    "Then we would be forced to run from the premises in a most unbecoming manner." Jacey rolled her eyes at Willow?s Tattoine-dry wit and called back up to Clerise.

    "We haven?t seen you since Winterbreak! It?s summertime! We only have two months and you?re sitting in there all by yourself while the whole planet is out here and not bothering to wait! We?ve been here a whole week already! What took you so long?" Clerise sighed.

    "I had exams to take." Jacey and Willow huffed. Although different as night and say, both agreed that Clerise took her education far too seriously. They had other matters to concern themselves with . . . such as achieving the perfect tan and marrying well.

    "Exams are over! Get your bu?" At this moment, Jacey became aware that Clerise?s mother was peering at her though the sitting room curtains. "Uhh, get your body down here and let?s go! Daylight?s a-wasting and there?s somebody I want you to meet!" Clerise raised her eyebrows. Jacey usually had ulterior motives when there was someone she wanted Clerise to meet. Willow confirmed the suspicion a moment later.

    "She means there is someone she wants you to introduce her to after you catalog her virtues."

    "I DO NOT!" Willow slid her smoked glasses down her nose and stared at her friend. Jacey stared back for several minutes, then turned back up to Clerise with a shrug. "But he?s really cute!" she begged. "Come on! He was just on the beach! If we go to the boardwalk now, we might see him!" Clerise looked to Willow for confirmation. Jacey also turned to the lithe girl, eyes pleading for support. After a moment, Willow sighed.

    "He was cute," she conceded. Jacey turned back toward Clerise, arms frantically waving a summons like a motor trafficking droid. Willow gave her another scrutinizing look before she continued. "If you like braids."

    (Braids?)

    "He only has one!" Clerise winced at Jacey?s tone. Jacey whirled back to her friend. "Please! He really was cute and I won?t make you introduce me, I promise." Shaking her head, Clerise admitted defeat. Same thing every year. (And she did say he was cute.) Giving her datapad a last wistful glance as she picked up her sunhat, knowing it would remain unread all summer, Clerise closed the door and went downstairs to join her friends.

    Same thing every year.
  6. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Just popping this up during more highly read hours. Will post on "Jedi Dreams" tonight, I promise. --AWK
  7. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Braid? Cute? Why does Obi-Wan spring to mind? Run, Obi-Wan, run! There are three girls about to descend on you, girls with nothing better to do than achieve the perfect tan and marry well. And they're not chasing you for the suntan lotion!
  8. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    I like braids. ;-) I think Obi looks cute in his. Now I wonder, is Obi-Wan, and Qui-gon too I presume, here on a mission or are they just taking some time off? Looking forward (cuz looking backward I trip a lot).
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Adding another one to my ever expanding list to read.

    Alli-Wan your writing is impecable, loved the phrase, Tattoine-dry wit.

    Post often, post soon.
  10. Kaylla Norn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2000
    star 3
    one braid? That sounds promising....
  11. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    This definitely looks like it's going to be a lot of fun!! *presses 'bookmark' key* And now ready to hound you for more! *grin*

    QUOTE:

    "Although different as night and say, both agreed that Clerise took her education far too seriously."

    Hmmmm...Alli-Wan...including a bit of yourself in the story as well, are you? :) :) :)

  12. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Got inspired. Hope it gets you through the week. --AWK

    * * *

    "I can't believe it! We looked everywhere." Clerise tried not to laugh. They had failed to find their target, (or rather 'The Infinitely Cute Braid Boy' as Willow dubbed him in response Jacey's unending commentary about the glories of his cleft chin) and Jacey was starting to sound despondent. "Where could he have gone? He was just here!" With a dramatic sigh, Jacey slumped in her seat and slurped noisily on her Iced Kremdeir. Clerise stirred hers slowly with the elaborate straw (probably the most expensive component of this overblown snow-cone) and watched the people walk by. Privately she thought Jacey was acting a little more Jacey-ish than usual. She never actually looked for a long-term relationship, her cute beach boys usually didn't even last until the next summer. (This one must be really cute if she is STILL thinking about him).

    Especially because there were lots of cute boys all around them now. Some were even preening and strutting around, performing their courtship displays. (Probably for Willow. Beach boys always like Willow.) Golden, muscle-bound limbs with large allowances and short attention spans gamboled about them, egging one another on and issuing challenges on the volley courts. Several offered to buy Willow (and her friends, though they never actually looked at said friends) a fresh drink, but Willow always managed to nip those advance in the bud, and would continue to do so . . . at least until her spring water ran out. She didn't go for the beach crowd. Willow was a 'cultured' girl. Muscles and brawn were all well and good, but if a young man couldn't survive one of her aunt's high society parties, he wasn't worth her time. Still, it didn't prevent her from enjoying the view . . . from behind her smoked glasses.

    "There's a lovely one right behind you Jacey. I can't tell who he is staring at though." Willow's voice retained it's normal, conversational tone, but she spoke more quietly, not wanting to be overheard.

    "Does he have a braid?" Jacey asked miserably.

    "No. Don't turn around Clerise. Only turn around halfway." Willow continued to unobtrusively observe the young man, screened by the dark lenses. "I still can't tell who he's looking at, but it's definitely someone at this table. Is anyone behind me?" Clerise giggled around another frozen swallow of her drink.

    "There's nobody behind you, Willow. Face it. He's looking at you." Willow clicked her tongue at Clerise in lieu of raising an eyebrow and smiled her mysterious half smile at the young man, watching for his response. Of course, with her glasses on, he couldn't be sure if she were smiling at him, or at Clerise. She was testing him. Clerise shook her head at her friend's methods. (Maybe Willow should be the one studying politics and diplomacy. She has the all the skills to play the game.) Not to mention the looks. Boys had been fawning over Willow's pale skin, satin straight hair and near weightless build since primer school. She was striking. Of course they were staring at her.

    "No, he's not staring at me. Jacey," Willow's quiet direction continued. "Turn around halfway. Look at Clerise. Look as if you are going to turn and look behind you, but don't." Clerise could tell Willow's gaze never left the young man in question, but her face was angled as if in deep conversation with her friends. Jacey balked.

    "He doesn't have a braid." Willow didn't back down.

    "No, but he has a cravat. Family crest. Academy jacket. Just off the ship, but upper crust." (Marriage material.) Not some summer fling then, but someone their parents would approve of.

    "Or so he appears." Jacey rolled her eyes, but finally complied. The pain of losing the Infinitely Cute Braid Boy was still fresh, but perhaps the trip could still be salvaged. A new face, a new name to find out about. Someone for her mother and aunt to talk about over drinks while they tried to arrange the perfect marriage (or rather, find the perfect youn
  13. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    You're leaving us here! Infinitly cute Braid Boy appears and we have to wait?! Well... well... darn. ;-)
  14. Rosemary Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2000
    star 2
    You're leaving us there??????
    Awwwww!
    I'm bookmarking
    Keep going! =)
  15. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    I love it Alli-Wan!

    Now give us some more!!!
  16. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    C'mon Alli-Wan, you had me captured by the end of the first post, and now you leave us hanging!

    More, more, more!! *grin*
  17. JediRogue9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2000
    star 3
  18. Valiowk Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    Oh man, it is really fantastic!!! I can't wait to read more of it!!!

    Just to let you know, if you don't get any comments from me in future, I *AM* reading it, only I save every page while I'm online, then I go offline and read it, so by the time I get online again there probably are a lot more posts.

    Otherwise I probably couldn't find it for a while, but don't worry, I will!
  19. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Sorry about the wait everybody, but it is Friday. I know I will be posting either here or on "Jedi Dreams" tonight, so you are guaranteed at least something somewhere. Gotta go read all that boring scientific stuff now. (Well, I'm not bored, but that's just me. ) ;) --AWK
  20. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Here I was all excited thinking we were finally gonna get to meet braid-boy...oh well, hope the scientific reading goes quickly.
  21. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Wow. Took me forever, but I got a nice long post for you.

    Was surprised to get so many comments for so little, but thanks for the encouragement. Spoke to Mom on the phone about starting this story. She agrees it was a very unusual premise for me, but I told her I think it stems from watching my little sister watch too many years of '90210.' Aiming for a bit more of a plot than that, but I don't think you'll be able to tell from this post.

    Also, JGG, now that you mention it, Clerise and I do share some character traits. Except I'm not fabulously wealthy and don't spend my summers at beach resorts. Or have fabulously cool friends. (Oh well, nerds are more fun anyway.) ;)

    Enjoy. Sorry about the editing, or lack thereof. --AWK

    * * *

    Clerise?s head shot up like a startled water bird. (Who? Where?) A moment later, common sense kicked in and the answers she sought were blatantly obvious. Well to the first question anyway.

    Jacey had leapt out of her chair, tipping it over behind her, and nearly overturning the table as well. (Clerise was impressed. After all, the chairs were wrought parasteel.) Her whole face was lit up with hormone-fueled delight and she was pointing excitedly toward the path leading down to boardwalk. The young girl was practically jumping up and down and gibbering like a canopy monkey. (For the sake of Trees and Spirits, Jacey, stop drooling!)

    The second question was less easily answered. Although Jacey was clearly pointing in the direction she would no doubt be racing in if the table hadn?t stayed so stubbornly balanced, and Clerise had been treated to a long-winded physical description of the person in question, she could not pick him out from the crowd. There was nobody there fitting his (excessively long and most likely biased) description. Where was this Infinitely Cute Braid Boy? Clerise glanced back at Jacey?s intense and radiant face and traced the path of the outstretched arm with her eyes again.

    And saw a group of some rather mature matrons in flamboyant swimwear and a gaggle of what could only be grandchildren. No Infinitely Cute Braid Boy.

    No one with any braids.

    Actually no one even remotely cute, much less infinitely.

    (Has she lost her mind? We?re in the shade so it can?t be sunstroke. Maybe it?s the Kremdeir. Maybe your brain really does freeze.) She turned to Willow in confusion.

    ?Do you see him?? Willow shook her head uncertainly, her lips pressed together in concentration as her shielded eyes sought the braided one. It was rather odd to see. Willow never did anything uncertainly.

    ?I thought I saw him . . . but then . . I lost him.?

    ?LET?S GO!? Jacey suddenly broke somewhat from her intellectual paralysis. ?He?s getting away.? Clerise shook her head and stared back down the path. She could still see the youngsters and their caretakers. For a moment she thought she saw a flash of brown-auburn hair (?the color of fine Graelen brandy? according to Jacey), but her brain had barely registered it before she lost it again. And she hadn?t noticed any braids in that instant. ?Are we paid yet?? Clerise stared at her friend in concern. This was serious. Jacey hadn?t been this bad since they were all fourteen.

    (And I was NEVER this bad.)

    ?We?re all paid,? Willow confirmed. Without another word, Jacey grabbed her walletsac and rushed out of the café?s outdoor lounge. Shaking her head, Clerise picked up the napkin which had fallen out of Jacey?s lap when she had jumped up, and after exchanging and amused look with Willow, joined the slender girl in trailing their friend.

    In the distance, Clerise trailed Jacey?s single-minded pursuit. She had raced down the cobble-path, trampled a few flowers taking a short cut around a corner and had nearly bowled over one of the matron?s broods, who were currently bawling about the near-collision. But the Braid Boy was nowhere in sight. (At least nowhere in my sight.) Suddenly, as she reached the dunes, Jacey came to a screeching halt. Clerise matched Willow?s mor
  22. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Just popping this up so everyone who was so anxious for a post won't miss it. Thanks for your continued readership. --AWK
  23. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    And Braid Boy appears. Wow indeed. ;-) There was a moment, as I was reading and the girls were chasing, when I was reminded of the blonde in the white convertable in "American Graffitti." I'm glad to see that we didn't have to wait until the end to finally see Obi. Now, what are they doing at that isolated beach house and how will the girls get to meet him? Somehow I just don't see them knocking on the door and asking Qui-Gon if the cute boy with the braid can come out to play. :)
  24. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    You know, A-C, one of these days I'm going to have to see that movie. No, I wasn't planning on having them just walk up to the door. Spying from afar (and not so afar) sounds like much more fun. I hope that post didn't fall off the deep end (or rather the shallow end) and come off sounding too much like a cheap romance novel, but I suppose the "girly-ness" is required to capture intentions at this point in the plot. Going for more depth in the next post. Thanks for your readership A-C. (BTW, the next post or the one after will be dedicated to you, as your comments gave me an idea.) Thanks again, AWK.
  25. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    It was a great post AW!
    The appearance of braid boy was cute! As he is *G*
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